by Dana Mason
He hoped she came in alone. She might just send the guy packing. There was no reason to believe Bailey would take up with him again after what he had done. Then again, there was the whole commitment thing Lucas had mentioned. Mae told him it sounded like Dex was really sorry and ready to take the next step with Bailey, whatever that was.
He slowly lifted his head when he heard footsteps approaching the office. When his eyes rested on Lucas, then Dex, he didn’t know what to think.
“What’s going on?” he asked, confused as hell since he thought for sure Dex would be with Bailey.
Lucas glared at Dex, then turned back to Ryan and said, “Sorry. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“I need to talk to you,” Dex said, his stance calm with his hands shoved in his pockets.
“What the fuck could you possibly need to talk to me about?”
“Mae told me about the accident in Wisconsin.”
Ryan shrugged, his eyes switching between Lucas and Dex. “That doesn’t answer my question.”
“I think you need to help me convince Bailey to give up this search.”
When Lucas started to interrupt, he lifted his hand to stop him. “This search and you are putting her in danger. It needs to stop. She won’t listen to me, so it’s up to you to get her to back off.”
“I’m not going to help you with anything. Besides that, what makes you think she’ll listen to me?” Ryan asked.
“Because for whatever reason, she always does.” He came further into the office and took a seat. “Don’t be stupid, man, you know I’m right. You don’t have to like it, and you don’t have to like me, but you have to know this search is putting her in danger.”
Lucas said, “Instead of stopping the search, maybe we need to figure out why it’s putting her in danger.”
“No!” Dex stood and faced Lucas, no longer calm like he was a moment ago. “No! It doesn’t matter. What matters is keeping her from being hurt.”
As much as Ryan wanted to argue with Dex, he couldn’t. He’d been having the same thoughts since their accident. He didn’t want Bailey in danger any more than Dex did. “Listen, Dex, I don’t want her to get hurt either, you know that, but I don’t think I have the power to stop her.”
“Try. Goddammit, Ryan, that’s all I’m asking.”
Ryan shook his head and released a heavy sigh. “Man, what the fuck are you even doing here? She broke up with you. She’s tired of your bullshit. Why don’t you just move on?”
“My relationship with Bailey is none of your business.”
Ryan bolted out of his chair and pointed at Dex. “And my relationship with her is none of yours.”
“Right! It’s not. Not until your relationship puts her in a car that’s being run off the road. If she’d been hurt in the crash, it’d be on you, Ryan, and you know it.”
Ryan slowly lowered himself back into the chair, knowing Dex was right. Ryan knew it. He’d fucking taken her there, risked her life, and nearly gotten her killed. And for what? For nothing. They had no new information.
“Dex, don’t blame Ryan for that. First of all, you have no proof that accident had anything to do with their search—and there was no way Ryan could have known something like that could happen.”
“But I know the breaking and entering at her mom’s house did have something to do with this search. None of us can deny that.”
“Fine!” Ryan nearly shouts over their arguing. “Fine. I’ll try to discourage her from continuing the search.”
“Ryan, you can’t agree to this,” Lucas said. “Bailey’s a grown woman, let her make her own decisions and then support those decisions. Don’t bargain with him to manipulate her.”
Dex focused on Ryan. “Do we have a deal?”
Ryan gave Dex a death stare before he finally said, “Yeah. I’ll try, but I can’t promise I can stop her.”
“Don’t do this, Ryan,” Lucas said.
Dex nodded and said, “It’s a smart decision. We both need to keep her safe. Thank you, Ryan.” He reached out and shook Ryan’s hand then said, “I’m going to go find her and try to get her to talk to me.”
After he was gone, Lucas closed the office door. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“It’ll be fine.”
“You’re such an asshole. You already promised to help her.”
“And if I can’t get her to stop, I will help her. I’m not going to leave her to figure it all out on her own. I’m just not going to encourage her to continue.” Ryan lifted his hand and huffed out a sigh. “Dex is right, Lucas. Encouraging her to continue with the search for her family is putting her in more danger.”
“Just because you made some stupid deal with Dex doesn’t mean she’s going to stop. Discouraging her could put her in more danger.”
Ryan lowered his eyes. “If she keeps pushing, I won’t abandon her. I already said that.”
“Even so, Ryan, you shouldn’t be making deals behind her back with Dex.” He dropped down into the chair and said, “I guess you didn’t have that talk with her when you dropped her off today?”
Ryan shook his head, not meeting Lucas’ eyes. “I tried. I just…can’t”—he lifted his hand to his chest and pushed outward—“get it out. Besides, what if she’s safer with Dex? What if he’s right?
“Don’t be stupid. Ryan, just talk to her. It’s not up to you to make decisions for her. Tell her how you feel and let her decide for herself.” He shook his head and said, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“You act like I haven’t tried. Like I don’t want to tell her. It’s not as easy as you think, Lucas, not after being friends for most of our lives.”
Lucas leaned in, trying to get Ryan to meet his eyes. “You’re in trouble, my friend.” He laughed sardonically and said, “Is it too corny to say it in song?”
Ryan tilted his head as he met Lucas’ eyes. “I already have.”
“You’ve written her a song?”
“Yeah. I finished it in Wisconsin, but I haven’t played it for anyone yet.”
“Perfect! Play it tonight.”
Could he get his message across to her without actually talking to her? Maybe. Pouring his emotions into music is what he did. It just wasn’t widely known how personal his music actually was. “Is that too corny?” He shrugged, feeling extremely unsure about it. “Would Bailey get it?”
“How can you even question that? She knows you better than anyone. I have no doubt she’ll recognize it right away. And if she doesn’t, don’t worry because I’ll sit you two down, face to face, and force you to talk it out.” He flashed Ryan an exaggerated smile and left the room.
Ryan stood and left the office, too, ready to prepare his band for a set change.
* * *
Five minutes to eight—nobody would complain if they started playing early. It would keep him from having to see her and Dex face-to-face when they came in together. If he were already on stage, he could just wave at a distance and avoid them for now. That’s if they came in at all. They were probably still in bed. His stomach bottomed out at the thought, and he wanted to puke.
“You okay, man?” The drummer, Justin, had just walked on stage. “You look sick.”
“I’m fine. Where’s Ben?”
“Right here,” Ben said, stepping on stage and picking up his bass. “What’s the hurry?”
“I’m ready to play,” Ryan said, strapping on his guitar.
He approached the microphone and waved his hand at the crowd, hoping to quiet them down. “How are you all doing on this fabulous Friday night?” His smile spread when the cheering hit a maximum level. With a nod, he said, “I know you’re ready for some great music. I hope you’ll bear with me while I indulge myself a little. I have a new song for you tonight, but it’ll come a little later in the set. But I’m also in the mood for some covers—some of my favorites I haven’t played in a while.” The sound in the club pitched again, so he waited a moment. “I’m going to start the night off a littl
e low key. This song is important to me on many levels, and I’m feeling the need to share it with you tonight—but I promise to pick up the pace later.”
Just as the lights dimmed, Bailey walked through the door. She was alone, and that surprised the hell out of Ryan, but it didn’t change his plans. He was spilling his guts to Bailey tonight, Dex or no Dex. He closed his eyes for a second, strumming the intro to “Sideways” by Citizen Cope. When he opened his eyes, Bailey was standing amidst the crowd, staring at him.
He’d done it. He’d gotten her attention.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Bailey entered the club prepared to face Ryan. She had no choice after the way he hugged her earlier. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d said goodbye for the last time. It was weird, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on the feeling that had been gnawing at her since she’d arrived home. It was doomsdayish…very dark, and she felt on the verge of tears most of the afternoon because of it. The only thing that would put her more at ease was to talk to Ryan. Or force him to talk to her. Maybe if she opened up first, told him she had real feelings for him, he’d do the same. As much as she’d fought against this sort of change in their relationship, she could no longer hold up the pretense. She sensed Ryan was also struggling for the same reason. She didn’t want to lose him, that was a fact, but she was beginning to believe that holding back their feelings was doing more harm than good.
She never planned on this happening. She didn’t plan to fall for him or plot to make it happen. It just did. Yeah, she’d always loved him as a friend, but she never fully admitted to wanting more. Instead, she chose to ignore the urges she had and lie about her deepest thoughts and feelings. What had changed in the last forty-eight hours, she wasn’t sure, but Ryan’s embrace earlier told her more than enough. It was time to stop screwing around and be honest about what was happening. After the near-death experience they’d shared in that car, she knew she needed to put an end to the charade. Life was too short to spend it denying their feelings.
Bailey was through the door and headed toward the bar when the solo guitar intro to “Sideways” started playing. Her mind went directly to the night on his boat. She turned and looked up on stage to find Ryan staring at her as he played.
Bailey didn’t avert her eyes. She couldn’t even blink at the expression on his face when he sang the first verse. The crowd grew quiet, listening intently as he put his heart and soul into the song. His eyes were deeply intense as he sang directly to her.
Bailey took a moment to get lost in the song—lost in the memory—trying like hell to block everything else from her mind. God, how she wanted that moment back…to experience it sober this time, with sharp senses. She wanted to feel every moment with Ryan again. The thought brought a tear to her eye. Did he wish to have that moment back, too? Is that why he was singing this song to her? When the guitar solo ended, and the band joined in, she had to fight back tears.
He gave her a sad, crooked grin, and she wondered what he was thinking. What were his thoughts when he saw her walk in?
“Bailey, hey!” Someone shouted into her right ear.
She jumped and turned to find Dex grinning at her.
“You okay?” he asked, concern in his expression.
“I’m fine. What are you doing here?”
“Have a drink with me? I want to talk to you.”
“There is nothing to talk about, Dex.” She wasn’t trying to be mean to him, but his interrupting the song, and her thoughts, had put her on edge. He was not the person she wanted to see tonight.
“I talked to Mae. She told me you were in Wisconsin and about the accident. Are you okay?” He gestured to the tiny cuts on her face.
“Yeah, I’m fine now.”
He jerked his head toward the back of the club. “Come on, let’s grab a table.”
She reluctantly followed him, but as soon as they were seated, she asked, “What are you doing here?”
“I came here to apologize. I was hoping you’d talk to me. I don’t want to lose you over a missed date.”
“Lose me? Are you kidding?”
“No, of course I’m not kidding. Why would you ask me that?”
“Dex, you no longer have me to lose. If you ever listened to me when I talk to you, you’d already know that.” She sat at the table he selected, folded her arms over her chest, and glared at him. “It’s more than a missed date—it’s several missed dates. It’s not being here to support me. It’s leaving me at the bottom of your priority list.”
He reached for her hand. “Come on, Bailey, I came all this way to see you. The least you could do is hear me out.”
She pulled away from him. “I don’t owe you anything. If you want to remain friends, we can do that, but I’m not looking to travel back down this road with you.”
“At least give me a chance to make things up to you. Don’t be so quick to dismiss me.”
Bailey turned to look up at Ryan as he started the next song. It was one of his originals, “All I Want.” Ryan’s eyes were still on her, but he wasn’t smiling. Did he think she’d come here with Dex? “Jesus, Dex.” She leaned forward and rested her head in her hands.
“Babe, let’s just talk. You don’t have to make any decisions right now. We’ll see where things go.”
Bailey opened her eyes and stared at him. She could see the sincerity in his features, but that didn’t change anything. “I need a drink.” She shot out of the chair and headed to the bar.
She couldn’t think—her mind was stuck on the song Ryan was playing. She’d heard it a hundred times, but listening now, she focused on the lyrics. Was he trying to tell her something? The meaning of the lyrics was pretty basic. He wanted something specific, something he couldn’t have, but it was all he wanted. Was he singing about her? He wrote that song a couple of years ago. Was she supposed to believe he’d carried a torch for her for that long?
She leaned against the bar and ordered a drink, her eyes focused on the bartop as she listened to Ryan’s voice. He was so soulful, his voice dragging emotions from her even as she fought against those emotions in an effort to be analytical about their situation.
When the song stopped, her stomach did a little flip. Was she imagining this, or was he really trying to tell her something? Why else would he play the Citizen Cope song?
Wade had the night off, but she knew Lucas would be in the kitchen. After grabbing her drink, she turned in that direction just as he stepped out. He gave her a gentle hug, trying not to spill her beer.
“Are you listening?” Lucas asked.
She tilted her head and motioned toward the stage. “Listening to Ryan? Yeah”
“To the music,” he said with an expression on his face she couldn’t quite place—like he had a secret to share.
She gave Lucas a long hard look as Ryan started the next song. It was another love song, only this one was a little more up-tempo. “So, this is for me.”
He nodded with a sly grin. “He’s having a little trouble communicating these days, so he decided to try it through music. You should pay attention.”
Heat rose in Bailey’s cheeks. “First of all, why would he have trouble communicating with me? Second, why now?”
Lucas lifted an eyebrow at her. “Those are questions you need to ask him. Not me.” He gave her a quick nod and a wink then rushed back into the kitchen.
Bailey turned and took a few steps toward the stage, listening closely. Just as the song ended, she heard Dex’s voice in her ear. “Did you find out anything new in Wisconsin?”
Bailey stopped amid the crowd and tilted her head to look up at him, annoyed he came to find her instead of waiting at the table. “No, not really.”
“Bailey, I should have been more supportive of you and of this relationship.” He wrapped his large hand around her narrow forearm, urging her to turn toward him. “I’m sorry for that…for everything. I love you, and I’m asking you to give me another chance. I’ll do whatever I can to keep you.”
>
Bailey’s mind stalled on I love you. Her mouth went dry for a second, and she had to swallow the tight knot in her throat. She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to focus on Dex and pay attention to Ryan at the same time. Song after song, Ryan was telling her how he felt, pouring his feelings out with his music while Dex spilled his guts to her at the same time. She was starting to think she should have stayed home. It was far too late for Dex. Their relationship was over, and she wasn’t willing or interested in trying again with him. For Ryan, she didn’t know whether to be grateful, feel privileged, or just be pissed off.
She turned and walked back toward their table and sat down just as Ryan’s fourth song ended, Ryan stood stock-still, staring into the crowd. He brushed a hand across his forehead and readjusted his cadet hat. Bailey didn’t know how much more she could take. Just watching him up there—the talent, the emotions, the power he had over people—he had no idea just how much she cherished her relationship with him. He was special, and she’d come here tonight to tell him just how special she thought he was, which could possibly ruin everything. But all these songs, they all said the same thing to her. He needed her, and he’d do anything to fix what they’d broken. She looked up at him, and his penetrating eyes were focused solely on her again.
Every nerve in her body was on fire with the realization. Ryan didn’t need to play the next song. She understood, loud and clear. His face broke out into a wide, satisfying smile, and his eyes lit with mischief as if he’d known what she was thinking. Bailey’s knees felt weak, and the butterflies were making her a little queasy. She turned toward Dex to find him staring at her.
“Are you sick, babe? You look a little pale.”
Bailey waved him off. “I’m fine.”
“Bailey, if you don’t feel well, we can leave.”
Focusing on him and knowing he still hadn’t heard a word she said tonight, she tried again. “Dex, I realize that you thought you could come here and say a few sweet words, and I’d fall right in line with what you wanted. But I’m not going to. And I’m not going to apologize for it. The fact is, I’m done with this, Dex. If you want to have a drink with me, as friends, great, but I’m moving on. I’m sorry.”
