by Dana Mason
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Bailey’s heart jumped, even as Ryan slowed the car. She thought maybe he was driving slowly in hopes she’d change her mind. She glanced over at him, and his eyes left the driveway to stare at her. “You going to be okay?”
She nodded with a little apprehension. “Do I have a choice?”
“No,” he said, with no hint of a smile. Usually, he would have said, you always have a choice, but not this time, and that worried her. Ryan pulled her hand to his lips. “You don’t have a choice when it comes to being okay.”
“Thank you for your patience.”
“Thank you for being you.”
“Uh…” She scrunched her nose. “You’re welcome?”
When Ryan stopped in front of the big, white house, her stomach flipped again. She had no idea how she’d be received today, especially since she didn’t tell them she was coming. How could she stay away now that she knew the truth? They were right, and she had to admit that to them, and she’d have to listen to them call the only mother she’d ever known a murderer. She had to agree with them and console them in their grief over Theresa and the baby Bailey had been all those years ago when they lost her.
Despite her feelings about Nicole, this was her family, and she wanted them to be a part of her life. She took a deep breath and stepped out of the car when Ryan opened the door for her. He had been so gentle with her, and she tried not to let it bother her. She hated being treated like a weakling, but after her outburst and the breakdown that followed, she understood why he needed to be careful with her. She vowed to make it up to him when she got herself in order.
They stepped up onto the large porch steps, taking them one at a time, hand in hand until they reached the door. Ryan pushed the doorbell, and they waited. Waited for someone to open the door to Bailey, the long-lost daughter who’d come home after living the last twenty-eight years with murderers.
When Linda opened the door, she had a faint smile. Faint was an understatement, maybe more of a fake smile. Clearly, they hadn’t waited long enough. Maybe she should have given them time to gain some perspective.
“Hello, Bailey…and Ryan. We weren’t expecting you.”
“I hope it’s okay,” Bailey said. “I wanted to talk—work some things out and let you know what I’ve learned.”
“Of course.” Linda smiled again, and it seemed a little more genuine this time. “This is your home now, too. You can come home whenever you like.”
“Thank you,” Bailey said with as much sincerity as she could gather under the circumstances.
Linda swung the door wide and let them in. Once inside, Bailey thought the air was too still, too sad—as if the house itself was in mourning. Alex was sitting on the large leather sofa with a glass of amber liquid in his hand. She hadn’t seen him drink much since she’d known him, but she understood why he needed it today. Hopefully, he hadn’t had too much. She needed him at his best for what she was about to tell him.
“Hi,” Bailey said when he turned his head to look at her.
He smiled and stood, approaching her.
“I’m sorry,” Bailey said, wanting to be the first.
Alex’s eyes lowered, and his smile turned sad. “Wow,” he whispered. “I don’t deserve that, but I appreciate the gesture.” He finally lifted his eyes to meet hers. “I’m sorry.”
Bailey nodded. “I have some news I thought you’d want to know.” She glanced at Ryan, and he smiled in encouragement. “I wanted you to hear it from me.”
Alex’s eyes glowed with intensity, and Bailey really wanted to know what he was thinking.
“May we…” She gestured toward the sofa.
Alex grimaced. “Of course. I’m sorry. Come in, sit down. Maybe we have—”
“Yes,” Linda said. “Coffee? I actually just brewed a pot.”
“Yes, thank you,” Ryan and Bailey said at the same time.
Bailey sat down with Ryan on her right. Her father sat across from her, his eyes still sorrowful.
“Bailey, I’m truly sorry for the way I acted.” He sipped from his glass, and it looked like he needed the liquid encouragement. “I didn’t take things well, and I’m afraid I took that out on you.” He glanced up at Ryan. “And you, too, Ryan—you and your father.”
“It’s understandable,” Ryan said.
Alex shook his head. “It’s unforgivable.” He ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair. “I finally have my daughter back, and I screw things up.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Bailey said. “I don’t want you to tiptoe around me. You won’t lose me again if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Alex’s brow rose, and he started to talk but was interrupted when Linda came in, carrying a carafe of fresh coffee. She set it down with a small tray of creamer and sugar.
“You’re very forgiving,” Alex said.
“Of course, I am.” Bailey leaned forward, getting closer to her father. “You’re my dad, and I want you in my life. It won’t always be on my terms, nor on yours, but that’s okay. We won’t always see eye-to-eye, and that’s okay, too.”
He closed his eyes. “I wish things were different.”
“Me, too, but mostly, I wish I didn’t have to sit here and tell you that you were right about everything.”
He looked up sharply. “What are you talking about?”
“My uncle confessed to the FBI. In addition to that, Agent Sharpe has a letter written by Helen and addressed to me. It was a confession,” Bailey said.
“I knew about the letter. It was Nicole. That’s why she was arrested,” he said. “I didn’t know about your uncle, though. We have an appointment to meet with Agent Sharpe tomorrow. That must be why.” Alex’s eyes misted over. “Did he tell you what happened? Agent Sharpe?”
“No, but my uncle did,” Bailey said. “They’d been out drinking. Ernie was driving. He was lost and confused and didn’t see Theresa until after he’d hit her. I was unharmed in the accident. Patrick said he thought Theresa must’ve pushed the stroller out of the way when she saw the car coming toward her. Once they realized Theresa was gone, Helen decided to take me with them. She saw an opportunity and took it.”
Ryan took her hand and squeezed it.
“Helen couldn’t have children of her own, not that it makes what they did okay, but that’s how it happened. She saw an opportunity and took it—took me.” Bailey inhaled deeply and waited for the rants and anger she knew were coming.
When she felt brave enough, she looked up to see tears both in Alex’s and Linda’s eyes. “I’m sorry for everything—about Theresa, about what they did, about missing out on being a member of this family for the last twenty-eight years. And I’m sorry for your grief.”
They both looked up, horrified. “Stop,” Alex said, lifting his hand.
“You…” Linda whimpered, then strengthened her features before she tried again. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” She stood and approached Bailey so fast, Bailey didn’t have time to stand up. Linda dropped to the sofa next to her and wrapped her arms around Bailey. “You’re not to blame, and blaming won’t get us anywhere.” She leaned back and wiped the tears from her face. “As a mother, I understand Helen’s desire for a child. As Theresa’s friend, I want to rage and be angry at Helen, but that won’t get us anywhere.”
Alex stood, too, and approached. Bailey stood and embraced him with everything she had. She put all her heart and soul into that hug. She had a father, and no matter what, nobody could take that from her, just like nobody could take her from him.
“I know when we talked before,” he said, “we both wished we had someone to blame. To some extent, this should be a relief to me, but it’s not. I’m not happy knowing you have to live with this knowledge of your adoptive parents.” He ran his hand down the length of her hair. “I’d rather you not know. I’d rather you continue with your fond memories and the belief that they were the wonderful people you remember.”
“But that doesn’t ch
ange the truth,” she whispered.
“I think,” Linda said, “we need to move forward.”
Alex nodded, and his chest moved up and down under her cheek. He was crying, and Bailey choked up, too.
“She’s right,” Alex said, the words vibrating his chest. “We can’t change things. We can’t bring Theresa back, and we can’t bring Helen back either, but we still have each other.”
Bailey withdrew from the hug and said, “It’s going to be very difficult to move forward after what Nicole’s done. I hope you understand. I can’t welcome her into my life. What she did…”
Linda gestured for Bailey to sit back down. “There are some things you should know, Bailey.”
“Last summer, when William kidnapped you, Nicole was five months pregnant,” Alex said. “She had just…just made the announcement the month before when she found out the gender.”
Bailey lowered her eyes. “Oh…,” she said, not sure how to process this information, considering Nicole didn’t have a child now. She heard Linda sniffle, and that forced her to look up. “I’m sorry.”
“She lost the baby the day the FBI told her William was responsible for your disappearance. She lost the baby the same day William was killed.”
Bailey covered her mouth with her hand, now feeling sick. “Oh, no. That’s horrible.”
“It doesn’t excuse what she’s done,” Alex said. “But we hope it explains her state of mind.”
“I’m sorry, too,” Ryan said. “That can’t have been easy.”
“We thought she was recovering well, but, apparently, there was some lingering and displaced anger,” Linda said. “She was heartbroken over the whole thing, you know. Terrified for Bailey, and then when she found out about William, she…she collapsed.”
Bailey’s heart hurt. Heaviness and achiness spread through her slowly as she processed this news. She covered her face, trying to hide it, but she couldn’t. Her breath stuck in her chest, and she couldn’t breathe until it all came out on a sob. With a heaving chest, she tried to talk, but words wouldn’t come. She felt rather than saw Ryan move closer to her side before embracing her.
“Breathe, babe. Take a deep breath.” With his hand on her back, he rubbed circles until she calmed some. “I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I didn’t know.”
“Bailey, honey.” Linda sat down next to her again. “This is why we didn’t tell you sooner. We all agreed not to share this with you for fear you’d take on the guilt yourself.” Linda pressed a handful of tissue into Bailey’s hands. “Please don’t. This isn’t your fault.”
“I feel terrible,” Bailey said.
“We all do, Bailey, but that doesn’t excuse what she’s done to you,” Alex said. “I’ve had a brief discussion with a lawyer about her situation, but I wanted to talk to you, as well.” His eyes dropped to the floor, then lifted back to her face. “We feel Nicole needs therapy, not jail.”
Linda held her hand up before Bailey could respond. “Don’t think we don’t understand the gravity of the situation or what she’s done to you. We do.”
“You’re the first victim of this entire situation. What Nicole has done is brutal and deceitful and, well… We’re not trying to excuse it. We just want to get her help,” Alex said.
Bailey nodded. “I understand.” She swiped a tear from her face. “What can be done? What was the advice of the attorney?”
“They suggested if Nicole confesses to everything, hands over any evidence she may still have, and volunteers for psychiatric help, they may offer her a plea deal.”
“A plea deal.” Bailey thought about that for a long moment. She thought about what she’d been through since Helen’s death and everything this family had been through since Theresa’s death.
She hated Nicole for what she’d done, but could she hate her sister? Nicole was her flesh and blood, and she’d been through a terrible ordeal, just like Bailey had. To lose her child and her husband on the same day… None of what Dex had done was Nicole’s fault. She hadn’t known the kind of man her husband was any more than Bailey had.
But Nicole knew what she was doing when she handed over personal information about Bailey to Rosa Sikes.
Bailey shrugged. “I don’t know. Seriously, I don’t know how I feel about this. It’s still too fresh. I want Nicole to get the help she needs, for sure. Beyond that, I don’t know. What she’s done…it’s surpassed what William Dexter did to me. He was a bad guy who did bad things, but Nicole is my sister. I wasn’t prepared to defend myself—to protect myself from her.” She lowered her eyes to the floor. “I just don’t know.”
“That’s fair,” Linda said. “We do understand. Nicole has to take responsibility for her crimes.”
Bailey looked over at Ryan. He’d been so quiet beside her, quietly offering her all the support she needed. She was a lucky woman to have him. Without a doubt, he would always be here for her—a fact she never doubted. She smiled at him, hoping he could see the love in her eyes. He gave her a sad smile and muttered, “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that with all the bad luck I’ve had, I’m an awfully lucky person. I have you, I have great friends, and now I have a family.” She sat, thoughtful for a moment, then turned back toward Alex and Linda and said, “I take that back. I do know.” She closed her eyes and sighed. Then she slowly lifted her lids and met Alex’s eyes. “I won’t stand in your way.” When they didn’t respond, she waved a hand. “What I mean is, hire your lawyer, do what you can for Nicole. I won’t stand in the way of a plea deal. I’ll do what I can to advocate for Nicole if it comes down to that.”
Linda’s shoulders dropped, and Bailey felt some of the tension leave the room. “You’re such a generous person,” she said. “We don’t deserve you, sweetheart.”
“I’m not sure I can ever have a relationship with Nicole. I don’t see my feelings about her changing. I know that’s going to be hard on this family, and for that, I’m sorry, but I meant it when I said I wanted to move forward,” she said, trying for a smile.
Alex smiled, too, and stood to approach her. “You’re being more than generous, Bailey.”
Linda, with tears in her eyes, said, “I think moving forward is the best thing for all of us.”
CHAPTER FORTY
“I know your family is in town, but I wanted you to myself this evening,” Ryan said as he slowed the boat.
“They said we can meet for breakfast.” Bailey smiled into the darkness, not able to see him.
He’d helped her onto the boat, sat her down, covered her with a blanket, then blindfolded her. To her surprise, she only felt the need to panic for a few seconds. When those few seconds were over, she realized she was completely safe, and that slight reminder of being tied up, helpless on a boat, had reassured her she was slowly regaining her life. She’d recovered with no lasting side effects from what Dex had done to her.
She felt the sway from the lake waves and wanted to scream and shout about how happy she was. She had everything she wanted and more. Of course, she still couldn’t see her everything because he’d covered her eyes. She didn’t really understand the need for a blindfold anyway. The lake was the lake. There were very few surprises for people who’d grown up on Lake Tahoe like she had.
“Okay, babe, give me a few more minutes.”
“For what? What are you doing?”
Ryan didn’t answer, but she heard him rustling around, the snap of what must have been a blanket, then the sound of Styrofoam. She chuckled, thinking she’d eaten out of too many Styrofoam containers if she so easily recognized the sound.
“Okay,” Ryan muttered. “I think that’s— Shit, hold on.”
Bailey laughed, listening to him talk to himself was entertainment all on its own.
“Got it. Perfect. Cool.” A moment later, his hands cupped her face, and he kissed her deeply. “You ready for your surprise?”
She licked her lips and tasted enchilada sauce. “El Lago for dinner?”
He chuck
led. “Of course. What else would we eat?” His hands fiddled with the back of the blindfold, and suddenly, his face came into view. She looked around. The sky had grown dark, but the boat was lit with candles, making her gasp. It was so pretty out on the lake. No other boats were around them. It was mid-spring, but the last dregs of winter still lingered. The time between winter and summer was a quieter time on the lake. The tourist population was dwindling, and it would be quieter until the weather grew warm again. When Bailey turned, she saw the picnic laid out on the stern deck. A grouping of candles lit the area, and sure enough, El Lago enchiladas were on the menu.
“It’s beautiful. What’s the occasion?”
“Oh, uh…well, I wanted you all to myself. I told you that.” He stood and took her hand, leading her to the picnic. “What other occasion do I need?”
“We live together. You have me to yourself every night.”
“Yeah, that’s true, but I wanted to do something special for you. And why all the questions? Can’t you enjoy the evening without an explanation?”
“Of course.” She smiled wide as she knelt on the deck. She lay back and tucked her coat across her chest as she gazed up at the star-laden sky. The memory of their first time together was at the forefront of her mind. That evening had come more into focus over the last several months. Or maybe her imagination had filled in the blanks for her. She wasn’t sure, but she did know she and Ryan’s lives had changed dramatically on that day. She wouldn’t change a thing about it. She loved him, and her only regret was that it had taken her so long to realize it.
She clearly remembered what the stars had represented to her on that day: disappointment, sadness, loneliness, loss. Until she and Ryan had made love that night, she’d lain there on his boat, on a perfect evening, feeling sorry for herself. She was a self-evolving pity party, and she regretted that thoroughly. She closed her eyes for a second, then opened them and looked over at him. He was lying next to her, but he wasn’t looking at the sky like she was. He was staring at her.
