one wing, then another, on my shoulder blades. She paused before she began
laying in the memory.
I don’t know that you could call it pain but it’s close. At the moment a
biobit makes its way into your own system, it’s as though the point of impact
was exquisitely sensitive, and somewhere micrometers away, someone was
doing something inconceivable to it.
“Tomorrow are the Exams,” she said. “Could see what I could download
for that.”
I started to turn my head to look at her, but just then she laid down a curve
of ice with a single motion. My jaw clenched.
“And?” was all I managed.
“One of us placed in a decent job would be a good thing.”
She laid more memory before she said “Two of us placed in one would be
better.”
“Might end up separated.”
“Would it matter, a six-month, maybe a year or two, before we could work
out a transfer?”
I would have shrugged but instead sat still. “So you want to take that
memory and jack in facts so you can pass the Exams and become an upstanding
citizen?”
She ignored my tone. “Even a little edge would help. Mainly executables,
some sorting routines. Maybe a couple high power searches so I can
extrapolate answers I can’t find.”
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MEMORIES OF MOMENTS, BRIGHT AS FALLING STARS
The last of the memory felt like fire and ice as it seeped into my skin.
She’d never mentioned the Exams in the two years we’d been together.
You’re not supposed to be able to emancipate until you’re 16, but Grizz
and I both left a few years early. My family had too many kids as it was and
ended up getting caught in a squatter sweep. I came home and found the
place packed up and vacant. The deli owner downstairs let me sleep in his
back room for the first few months, sort of like an extra burglar alarm, but
then he caught me stealing food and gave me the boot. After that, I made
enough to eat by running errands for the block, and alternated between
three or four sleeping spots I’d discovered on rooftops; while they’re less
sheltered, fewer punks or crazies make the effort to come up there and
mess with you.
Once I hooked up with Grizz, life got a little easier—I had someone to
watch my back without it costing me a favor.
We went around to Ajah’s, hoping to catch him in one of his moods when
he gets drunk on homemade booze and cooks enormous meals. Luck was
with us—he was just finishing a curried mushroom omelet. It smelled like
heaven.
Three other people sat around his battered kitchen table, watching him
work at the stove. Two I didn’t know; the third was Lorelei. She gave me a
long, slow, sleepy smile, and Grizz and I nodded back at her.
Ajah turned at our entrance and waved us in with his spatula. His jowls
surged with a grin.
“Jonny and Grizz, sit down, sit down,” he said. “There is coffee.” He
signaled and one of the no-names, a short black man, grabbed us mugs,
filled them full, and pushed them to us as we slid into chairs. I mingled
mine with thin and brackish milk while Grizz sprinkled sweet into hers.
The drink was bitter and hot, and chased the recycling yard’s lingering chill
from my bones. I could still feel the new memory on my skin, cold coils
against my T-shirt’s thin paper, so old its surface had fuzzed to velvet.
Ajah worked at the poultry factory, so he always had eggs and chicken meat.
Sometimes they were surplus, sometimes stuff the factory couldn’t sell. He’d
worked out a deal with a guy in a fungi factory, so he always had mushrooms
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CAT RAMBO
too. Brown rice and spices stretched it all out until Ajah could afford to feed a kitchen’s worth of people at every meal. They brought him what they could to
swap, but usually long after the fact of their faces at his table.
Lorelei being here meant she must be down on her luck. As were we—the
shelter we’d been counting on for the past year had gone broke, shut down
for lack of funds, despite countless neighborhood fundraisers. No one had
the script to spare for charity.
Two grocery sacks filled with greenery sat on one counter. Someone had
been Dumpster diving, I figured, and brought their spoils to eke out the
communal meal. A third sack was filled with apples and browned bananas,
and I could feel my mouth watering at the thought.
“I’m Jonny,” I offered, glancing around the table. “She’s Grizz.”
“Ajax,” said the black man.
“Mick,” muttered the other stranger, a scruffy brown-haired kid. He wore a
ragged poncho and his hair fell in slow dreads.
“You know me,” Lorelei said.
Conversation faded and we listened to the oily sizzle of mushrooms frying
on the stove-top and the refrigerator’s hum against the background of city
noise and traffic clamor. The still in the corner, full of rotten fruit and
potatoes, burped once in counterpoint.
“What’s the news?” Ajah asked, ladling rice and mushrooms bound
together with curry and egg onto plates and sliding them onto the table
toward Lorelei and Grizz. Ajax, Mick, and I eyed them as they started eating,
leaving the question to us.
“Not much,” I said.
“Found a place to live yet?”
“Jesus, gossip travels fast. How did you hear about the shelter?”
“Beccalu came by and said she was heading to her cousin in Scranton. You
two have people to stay with?”
I shook my head as Grizz kept eating. “No one I’ve thought of yet. We need
to head to the library tonight, though, figured we’d doss in the subway station there for a few hours, keep moving along for naps till it’s morning. It’s Exams tomorrow.”
“I know,” Ajah said. “Look, why don’t you stay here tonight? The couch
folds out.”
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MEMORIES OF MOMENTS, BRIGHT AS FALLING STARS
I was surprised; I’d never heard Ajah make anyone an offer like that.
“The Exams are your big chance. Get a good night’s sleep and make the
most of them. Face them fully charged.”
I rolled my eyes. “For what? Like there’s a chance.” But he and Grizz
ignored me.
“We need to make a library run still,” she said.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. I’m up till midnight, maybe later,” Ajah told her.
Despite my doubts, relief seeped into my bones. We’d been given a night’s
respite, and who knew what would happen after the Exams? “Thanks, Ajah,”
I said, and he grunted acknowledgement as he slid a plate before me.
The portabella bits had been browned in curry powder and oil, and the eggs
were fresh and good. Grizz ate methodically, scraping her plate free, but she
looked up to catch my eye and gave me a heartfelt smile, rare on her square-
set face.
As her gaze swung back to her plate, my glance tangled with Lorelei’s. I
could not read her expression.
Lorelei and I used to pal around before Grizz and I met up. She and I grew
up next to each other, and it’s hard not to know someone intimately when
you’ve shared hour after hour channel s
urfing while one mother or the
other went out on work or errands. We suffered through the same street
bullies and uninterested teachers. She was the first girl I ever kissed. You
don’t forget that.
But I knew I wanted Grizz for keeps the first moment I saw her. She came
swaggering into the shelter wearing a rabbit-fur jacket and pseudo-leather
pants. She’d been tricking in a swank bar, but then someone snatched all her
hard-earned cash. So there she was, with a bruise on her face and a cracked
wrist, but still holding herself hard and arrogant, and the only person in the
world who could glimpse the softness underneath was me, it seemed like. So I
sauntered up, invited her outside for a smoke, and then within a half hour, we
were pressed against the wall together, my hands up her shirt like I’d never
touched tit before, feeling her firm little nipples against the skin of my palms.
It’s been her and me ever since. As far as I’m concerned, it’ll always be
that way.
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CAT RAMBO
• • •
After eating, we helped wash dishes before heading to the library. We had to
wait a half hour for a terminal to free. Finally a man gathered his tablet and
stood, stretching his shoulders.
“I’ll wait,” I said, and gestured Grizz forward.
She nodded and went forward to slide her hand into the log-in gloves.
Within a moment, her eyes had the glassy stare that means the meat’s
occupant is elsewhere.
I looked around. Chairs and desks dotted the place, all of them occupied. I
went outside to the parking garage for a smoke.
Daylight had fled. At the structure’s edge, where the street was dimly
visible, I panhandled a dozen people before I found one willing to admit to
smoking. I lit the cigarette, a Marlboro Brute, and leaned back against the
wall, which was patchworked with graffiti layers. Maybe by the time I was
done, a booth would have opened up. It was getting late, after all.
I closed my eyes as the nicotine rush hit me. Footsteps came across the
cement floor toward me. I opened my eyes.
It was Lorelei. She wore a slick, bright red jacket and lipstick to match her
short skirt and chunky boots. Silver hoops all along each ear’s edge graduated
to match her narrowing cartilage. She looked good. Very good.
“Nice night, ain’t it?” she said as she moved to lean on the wall beside me.
“Gimme.”
I passed the smoke over and she took a drag.
“Want to try something to make the nice night even nicer?” she asked,
smiling as she leaned back to return the cigarette.
“Meaning?”
“It’s good stuff.” She fished in the jacket before holding out the lighter
and one-hitter. The end was packed with gray lintish dust. “Never had
better.”
I took the pipe and sparked it. The blue smoke rushed into my lungs like a
fist, like a physical jolt, and the world dropped half an inch beneath my
feet. Everything was tinged with colors, an iridescence like gasoline on a rain puddle. I was standing there with Lorelei and at the same time I was on a vast
dark plain, feeling the world teeter and slip.
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MEMORIES OF MOMENTS, BRIGHT AS FALLING STARS
Lorelei watched me. On the side of her face was a new tattoo, a black floral
design.
“What’s that?” I asked. I raised my hand, my fingers dripping colored fire
and sparks. The drug curled and coiled through my veins, and I could feel my
heart racing.
“Maps,” she said. “Executable that interfaces with a global database. Got a
GPS here,” She tapped a purple faceted gleam on one earlobe. “Drop me
anywhere in the world, I’ll know where I am.”
“Looks awful big to be a simple database interface.”
She shrugged, and took the pipe back. She tapped out the ashes with care
before she tamped a new pinch of greenish leaf into the mouth. “Controls the
GPS too, and some other crap.”
An expensive toy, but one that would qualify her for all sorts of delivery
jobs. But she must be broke, to show up at Ajah’s, I thought. It didn’t make
sense.
“How’re things?” I asked.
Her shoulders twitched into another sullen shrug. “Got some deals in the
works. Just a matter of time before something plays out.”
I glanced back at the library door. “I should go in, I’m waiting on a machine
to clear.”
The drug still held me hard, and every moment was crystal clear as she
raised her hand to stroke along my jaw. “I miss you sometimes, Jonny,” she
said, sounding out of breath.
I didn’t want to piss her off, so I used a move that’s worked before. Catching
her hand, I turned it palm down and pressed my lips against the knuckles
before dropping it and taking a step backward.
“See you around,” I said.
She didn’t say anything back, just stood there looking at me as I turned and
walked away.
When I tried to log in, the drug prevented it. Every attempt shuddered and
screeched along my nerves, so painful it brought tears to my eyes. But I kept
trying and trying. A few cubicles down, I could see Grizz’s back, hunched
over her terminal, every particle intent. Learning. Preparing.
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CAT RAMBO
I stared at the screen, which showed the library logo and the welcome
menu, all options grayed out, and cursed Lorelei and myself. Mostly myself.
After an hour of pretending to work, I slipped away.
Another hour later, Grizz found me outside smoking. Good timing, too. I
was on my fourth bummed cigarette, and starting to wonder when a guard
would show to jolly me along on my way.
She looked happy, as animated as Grizz gets, which isn’t much.
“You get what you wanted?” I asked.
“Got a bunch of stuff,” she said. “Plant stuff.”
Grizz likes plants, I know. At the shelter, she tended the windowsills full of
discarded cacti and spider plants. But I hadn’t known she was thinking about
that for a career.
“That memory’s something, isn’t it?” she said. “I downloaded a weather
predictor that monitors the whole planet, some biology databases, some
specialized ones, some basic gardening routines, and a lot of stuff on
orchids.”
“Orchids?”
“I’ve always liked orchids. I’ve still got plenty of room, too. What about you?”
“Mine’s not so good,” I lied. “It didn’t hold much at all.”
Her gaze flickered up to mine, touched with worry. Her eyes narrowed.
“What are you on?” she asked. “Your pupils are big as my fist.”
“Dunno the name.”
“Where’d you score it?”
“Lorelei swung by, turned me on.”
Silence settled between us like a curtain as Grizz’s expression flattened.
“It’s not like that,” I finally said, unable to bear the lack of talk.
“Not like what?”
“She just came through and glimpsed me.”
“She knew you would be here because we mentioned it at dinner. She still
wants you back.”
“Grizz, I haven’t been with her for two years. Give it
a rest.”
“I will. But she won’t.” She pulled away and made for the exit, her lips
pressed together and grim. I followed at a distance all forty blocks to Ajah’s.
• • •
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MEMORIES OF MOMENTS, BRIGHT AS FALLING STARS
In the morning, we showered together to avoid slamming Ajah’s water bill
too hard. Grizz kept her eyes turned away from mine, rubbing shampoo into
her hair.
I ran my fingertips along the spirals on her back. “This is different,” I said.
Under my fingertips, the wire had knobbed up and thickened, although it still
gave easily with the shift of muscles in her back. The gray patches were gone,
and a uniform sheen played across the surface.
“Does it feel different?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Not really.”
“Do you remember the brand name on the boxes? We could look it up on
the Net later on.”
“Carpa-something. I don’t know. It looked bleeding edge and you never
know what’s up with that.”
“Why do you think they threw it out?” I wanted to keep her talking to me.
She turned to face me with a mute shrug, closing her eyes and tilting her
head back to let the water run over her long black hair. Her delicate
eyebrows were like pen strokes capping the swell of her eyes beneath the
thin-veined lids.
I tangled my fingers in her hair, helping free it so the water would wash
away all the shampoo. Muddy green eyes opened to regard me.
“Going to sit out the exams?” she asked.
Saying nothing, I shook my head. We both knew I didn’t have a chance.
The Exams were the freak show I expected. Rich people buy mods and make
them unnoticeable, plant them in a gut or hollow out a leg. This level, people
want to make sure you know what they got. Wal-Mart memory spikes
blossomed like cartoon hair from one girl’s scalp, colored sunshine yellow,
but most had chosen bracelets, jelly purple and red, covering their forearms.
One kid had scales, but they looked like a home job, and judging from the
way he worried at them with his fingernails, they felt like it too.
You take the Exams at sixteen and most of the time they tell you you’re the
dregs, just like everyone else, but sometimes your mods and someone’s listing
match up and you find yourself with a chance. The more mods you have, the
more likely it is. So the kids with parents who can afford to hop them up with
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