by T. O. Smith
With that, he left the room, nodding once to Cerberus as he passed. The beast was curled up beside the foot of the bed, his three heads resting down on the floor. When demons and demonesses tried to come to visit her, he threateningly growled at them if they came within five feet of her.
He was her very own protector.
I brushed my lips with hers. “I will always wait for you, my little destroyer.” I softly promised. “For you, I have all of the time in the world,” I promised.
EIGHT
BELA
I didn’t know that it was possible to be in this much physical pain.
Everything hurt.
I slowly opened my eyes, staring up at the ceiling. I could feel Lucifer’s presence, but I couldn’t seem to find the strength inside of myself to make my head move to find him.
I softly groaned, hoping to grab my king’s attention. I needed help. My throat was dry, and my mouth felt like I had been chewing on cotton balls. And I couldn’t figure out how to move my fucking body.
“Bela?” Lucifer asked as he sat up next to me, his hair messy on the top of his head, his eyes bleary with sleep. I slowly blinked up at him. “Holy shit, you’re fucking awake.” He got off the bed and strode away from me. I followed him with my eyes until I couldn’t see his muscular frame anymore.
Why in the hell couldn’t I move my body?
A few moments later, he was right back by my side with a glass of water and a straw. “Here – let me help you sit up.” He set the cup on the bedside table and grabbed me under my arms, gently easing my body into a sitting position. A moan of pain slipped from me. His eyes flashed with pain on my behalf. “I know, my queen.” He brushed his lips to my cheek. “I’m sorry. Whatever medication Rufus gave you, it’s kind of paralyzed you to keep you from immediately harming yourself when you woke up.” He sat on the edge of the bed facing me and grabbed the glass of water. He put the straw at my lips and with his help, I was able to swallow the cool liquid, relieving that dry feeling in my mouth and throat.
A demon entered the room wearing a suit with a white lab coat. There was a blonde demoness behind him wearing scrubs. The demon smiled at me. “It’s good to finally see our queen awake.” He greeted. “I am Rufus, and this,” he said, gesturing to the blonde demoness at his side, “is my nurse, Emily. We’ve been in charge of your care since Lucifer brought you out of the seventh circle.”
“Can you give her a medication to reverse the effects of the temporary paralysis you put on her?” Lucifer asked him. “She can’t move yet.”
Emily walked forward and gently extended my arm. I closed my eyes, swallowing down my sound of pain. Lucifer’s hand brushed my cheek, and I slowly opened my eyes, looking up at him. I groaned when I felt a needle slide through my skin, and a moment later, cool liquid rushed through my veins.
“Give that a few minutes to kick in, and then she should be able to move just fine,” Rufus told Lucifer. Lucifer slowly pulled his blood-red eyes from mine and looked up at Rufus. “If you want to bathe her, only sponge baths for the time being. I still don’t recommend submerging her body in any kind of water until she’s healed some more.”
Just how badly was I injured?
Lucifer reached up and played with the ends of my hair that now seemed to stop somewhere near my shoulders. A low whine crawled up from the back of my throat. Had I lost all of my hair?
“My hair.” I rasped, looking at my king, knowing he wouldn’t lie to me.
He gave me a sad smile. “Your hair had to regrow.” He told me sadly. I frowned. “You were badly burned, my queen. It’s honestly a miracle that you survived.”
“How did I?” I asked him as Rufus and Emily left the room, giving us privacy.
“My mark on your back saved your life.” He told me. “It’s literally the only thing that kept you alive.”
“I want to see how bad it is,” I told him.
He frowned but nodded his head. I watched him as he stood up and moved to the door, closing us into the room. He then walked back to me and gently lifted my shirt over my head for me. Tears poured down my cheeks as I stared down at my body.
I was never going to look the same again.
I had been burned almost everywhere. Some parts of me were almost healed, while others still had quite a bit of a way to go. “No, my queen.” Lucifer rasped as he pulled me into his arms. I whined in pain, my shoulders shaking as I began to cry. “You’re still perfect. No one can ever compare to the beautiful fucking goddess that you are in my eyes.” He brushed his lips to my temple. “Don’t do this to yourself, my little destroyer.” He begged me. “You’ll always be the only one for me in my eyes, and I will love and cherish every single part of you – even the parts of you that you feel are vile and disgusting.”
I just cried. Though I had obviously gained back my human skin, had almost become perfect for him once again – now, I was ruined.
I would never be worthy of someone like Lucifer.
✶ ✶ ✶
I slowly lifted my head from Lucifer’s shoulder when I noticed Cerberus walking into our chambers. He smiled when he saw me, but I didn’t return it. I felt so horrible. My body ached, and on top of that, so did my heart. Lucifer was stuck with someone like me to be his queen.
Lucifer growled softly in his throat, quickly picking up on my thoughts.
“It’s so good to see you awake again after so long, my queen.” Cerberus greeted. He grabbed my hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it before he gently set it back in my lap. “How are you feeling?”
I shrugged, grimacing afterward. “I’m still in pain,” I told him honestly. Lucifer tightened his arm around me for a moment, his hand grabbing mine in my lap as he leaned his head down to press a kiss to the top of my head. I closed my eyes, taking in every bit of comfort that my king was offering me. “But I’ll be fine,” I assured him.
He sighed. “I am sorry that I did not protect you better, my queen.” He told me. There was so much pain and guilt in his voice that it tore at my soul.
“I remember you being there with me,” I told him. His eyes widened in shock. A shudder wracked my frame as I remembered the pain – the burning – screaming for help only for my insides to feel like they were burning as well. “You never let go of me,” I told him. “I’m probably sitting here right now because of you, so don’t feel guilty, Cerberus. You still did your job as my protector – you kept me alive.”
I looked up at my king, only to find his eyes already trained on me. “Any word on my mother?” I asked him.
He shook his head at me. “No, my love, I’m afraid not. Cerberus and Kyle have been searching high and low for her, but she’s gone into hiding, and she’s hiding well. So, we’ve all made the decision that I am to stay by your side, no matter what happens here. This way, if she decides to attack again, there’s a much lesser chance of something happening to you.”
I frowned, my mind going to my mother – how I had hurt her by killing my father. I’d ripped her love away from her. I couldn’t really blame her for her reaction. If I lost Lucifer, I knew with every fiber of my being that I would react much worse.
“Easy, my queen.” Lucifer soothed as a golden light suddenly pulsed from my body. I stared up at him in horror as he grabbed my hands in his, keeping me steady and calm. “Take a deep breath, my little destroyer. It’s going to be okay.”
“What just happened?” I asked him, fear tinting my voice.
“Your magic began to release itself – coming to the surface – after you went through your final transition. I’ve been trying to keep it at bay, but it seems to have a mind of its own, and now, it’s affected by your emotions.”
“I could hurt you?” I asked him, my heart rate spiking. I didn’t want to hurt him – or anyone here, actually.
“No.” He soothed. “You cannot hurt me.” He promised. “But I have to keep your emotions grounded and controlled because you can hurt everyone else.” He warned me. Tears burned in my eyes. He leaned
down and brushed his lips with mine, soothing me – calming me again. “I’m not leaving your side, my love. You won’t have the opportunity to accidentally hurt anyone here.” He promised.
“How do I gain control of them?” I asked him.
“Practice and training – after you are fully healed.” He told me, his eyes narrowing on my face when I opened my mouth to protest. I knew I was still healing and that I was still in pain, but I didn’t want to wait. “As for right now, I am perfectly content with helping you stay controlled.”
I looked at Cerberus. “Have I accidentally hurt you yet?” I asked him, fearing the answer.
He gave me an easy smile. “I touched you, and your power sent me crashing through the wall, but all is well, my queen.” He assured me. I shook my head. “Lucifer has been doing his best to keep them at bay.” He shrugged. “It didn’t even hurt.” He promised.
“I’m sorry,” I told him. He sighed, shaking his head at me. “No, you’ve been doing your best to help take care of me, Cerberus – I know you have. You didn’t deserve that.” I told him. Lucifer squeezed my shoulders and pressed his lips to my temple, calming me again when my light shimmered.
He laughed. “My queen, you have a lot to learn about magic.” He told me. He flashed me an easy-going grin when I only continued to frown at him. “Tell you what – if you want to make it up to me,” Lucifer growled, but Cerberus ignored him, “then get some rest, make sure you stay hydrated and eat three square meals a day, and let my king take care of you.” He told me.
I sighed. “Cerberus, that’s not—"
“Aht.” He said, holding up a hand. “Do those things, and everything will be right once again in our world.” He smiled at me before he shifted into his beast and walked out of the room, using one of his snake tails to close the door behind him.
“Did he just—"
Lucifer laughed softly. “He did, my queen.” He pressed his lips to my cheek, drawing me back against his side. “Get some rest.” He ordered. “That’s the best thing to help you heal right now.”
I sighed as I situated myself into a more comfortable position against his body with a small moan of pain as I moved. Lucifer tightened his arms around me. “Sleep, my queen.” He said softly, his own eyes closing.
“You promise to rest as well?” I asked him. I wasn’t stupid. I knew he hadn’t been taking care of himself.
He smiled, not opening his eyes. “If it will make you go to sleep, then, yes, my queen; I promise to rest as well.”
I smiled as I draped my arm over his waist. He sighed in contentment, his body relaxing further. A golden light hummed right above my skin – just the lightest of shimmers. Lucifer gently ran his hand up and down my back. I tensed. “Don’t worry.” Lucifer soothed. “It just means your content. Get some rest.”
“It’s not hurting you?” I asked him.
He laughed softly. “No, my love, it’s not. It actually feels good against my skin.” He gently tilted my head back and covered my lips with his. I softly sighed into the kiss, easily losing myself in him. “Sleep, my queen.”
NINE
A couple of weeks had passed, and they had passed at a drastically slow rate. My healing process felt like it was taking forever, though Lucifer assured me every day that I was healing more and more.
It sure as hell didn’t feel like it, though.
“Come on, my little destroyer.” Lucifer coaxed as he held his hands out to me. I pouted, bringing a smile to his face that warmed my soul. “Up you go, my queen. You need to begin walking again and using your muscles.”
I whined. “Everything still kind of hurts, Lucifer.” I reminded him.
He leaned down and tenderly brushed his lips with mine before he pressed a soft kiss to my cheek that had my soul dancing for him. “I know, my queen. Just take deep breaths and remember that I’m right beside you to catch you if you need me to.” His blood-red eyes met mine, soothing my soul and my fear of trying to walk again. “I know everything still hurts, Bela. I can feel everything you feel.” He reminded me. I frowned. I hated that he could feel my pain. He crooked his finger under my chin and tilted my head back so I was looking up at him again. “But it’s going to hurt more later on if you don’t start moving again. Your body is already extremely weak from the months you spent in a medically induced coma to heal.”
I sighed, knowing he was right. It didn’t mean that I liked it, but I understood it. Wincing in pain, I allowed my king to pull me up off of the bed. He brushed his lips to my forehead as he gripped my hips, steadying me on my feet. I whimpered as I gripped his shoulders, my knees shaking from the strain of trying to support my weight. “Easy, my love.” Lucifer soothed. “I’ve got you. I’m not going to let you hurt yourself.” He assured me.
“You promise?” I asked him. I knew that I didn’t have to question what he said. When it came to me, Lucifer was a man of his word. But I was scared, and my entire body was aching.
“Bela, you know you don’t ever have to worry about me allowing you to get hurt.” He reminded me. “I will never let you fall.” He promised.
“Okay,” I whispered. He took a step backward, his hands still firm and steady on my hips. I cautiously took a step forward, a whine of pain tearing past my lips as I did so. His eyes burned a bright red at my pain, but he only clenched his jaw and walked me a couple of more steps away from the edge of the bed. Every step was like fucking agony, but I forced myself to push forward. Lucifer was smiling at me, speaking gentle words of encouragement as I continued to move forward with him at a slow but steady pace.
I squeaked in shock when Cerberus suddenly pressed his beast right against my back, helping Lucifer keep me upright while also being there to catch me if I were to fall. I breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing a little bit now that I had a little bit of extra support for my pain-filled legs.
“You’re doing amazing, my queen.” Lucifer praised. I smiled at him, my light shimmering just above my skin at his praise, and his eyes softened in response.
“Every step is like agony,” I told him as we stepped into the stone hallway of the castle that was outside of our room.
“I know, my queen. I wish that I could take all of this pain away for you. I hate that you’re suffering and that I’m helpless to do anything for you.” He admitted, his voice rough.
“It’s going to be okay.” I tried assuring him, though I felt like I was saying that for not only him but for me, too. I took another step forward, my knee almost giving out on me, but Lucifer held tight while Cerberus pressed more against me, both of them keeping me upright as I regained my balance. “How much further?” I asked him, exhaustion and pain filtering into my voice.
“Not much further, my little destroyer.” Fuck, I loved that name, and I would never grow tired of hearing it. “We’re just going to the library, and once we are there, you will have breakfast, and then, Kyle is going to work with you to teach you how to tap into your powers and bring them forth at your will.”
I groaned. “Can’t it wait until I heal first?” I begged him. God, I was so tired already. My body was screaming at me to just sit down and rest.
“No, my love. I’m sorry.” He apologized. I groaned. “I wish you could, but we don’t know when your mother is planning to make her next move, and I need you to be prepared for anything that might happen. That means we need to get as much control over your powers that we can as soon as possible.” He told me. I huffed. He wanted to do it now – not when I originally wanted to. “I wish shit could just be simple for us so that I can just spend my time loving you properly,” my cheeks flamed red at his words, “but unfortunately, it has to be this way for now.”
I nodded in understanding. A breath of relief passed through my lips when we finally stepped into the library where my brother was already sitting in a chair, waiting for us. There was a plate of pancakes and bacon on the small table in front of him. I licked my lips as my stomach rumbled. Lucifer’s lips twitched in amusement as he eased me dow
n onto the chair.
He pecked my lips before he pulled the table closer to me so that I could eat. I didn’t realize that I was so hungry until I took the first bite of my pancake, and I moaned around the sugary sweet goodness.
Fucking Heaven in Hell.
“Any update on your mother yet?” Lucifer asked Kyle.
Kyle shook his head. “She’s still laying low as fuck.” He answered. “Unfortunately, all we can do right now is just wait for her to come out of hiding. But since she’s hiding, it gives me time to work with Bela.”
Cerberus shifted into human form, and I kept my eyes away from him until he announced that he had on jeans. He took a seat next to me – always my protector. “Which she’s not happy to be doing, by the way,” Cerberus commented.
Kyle sighed, ever the serious one. “We can’t waste any more time than we already have.” He told me.
