That night Robin cradled me in his arms and we slept in peace. I had no doubt now that I loved him, when he held me the world moved on a different axis, one which made me feel safe and yet profoundly alive all at once. A vivid dance in the eternity of existence and immediacy of passion, wrapped in the grace of trust. I understood Robin’s desire to wait until I felt safe before he took what I wanted to give, and I knew it was time, we just had to find the right place…
19
SIX SOULS JOINED US on the trek back to the escarpment. John Little and the healer with a young man called Much, whose father had been the village miller until he died thanks to the sheriff’s tax collection methods. Another man of fighting age with a wife, Gilbert and Agnus, joined us both of whom could fight and another woman called Alviva who remained silent on the walk and quite frankly scared me.
Gilbert and Agnus were happy souls who married young but had not yet been blessed with children. They wanted to help make the forest a safe place, a refuge for the simple folk who lived within its vast confines and they knew how to draw a bow with casual efficiency. Gilbert stood shorter than his wife and me, but had a broad straight back and a head full of rusty brown hair. Agnus, a willow of a woman, kept her blonde locks safely tucked away. If I didn’t know better I’d swear she had a great deal of Norman blood in her veins. I suspected a wayward noble in her heritage. She smiled with ease and not a word of complaint passed her lips about the rough journey.
Alviva carried herself separately from the others. John said he’d found her on a hunting trip, beaten bloody, dress torn and signs of rape obvious. Her words were rare but she worked hard, seemed proficient in the skills of a bow and he’d watched her handle his long knife like a sword. A small woman, with sharp, dark features and almost black eyes, she walked with confidence. Her clothing appeared more male than female and her right hand rested on her knife hilt as if it were a sword. Robin watched her and I felt a tug of concern. Her dark hair looked coarser than mine but it drifted down her back in a wave of enticement. I wanted to like her, but it might prove difficult if she showed any hint of interest in Robin.
The young healer walked next to John, her name was Eva, and she strode with all the confidence of a young man out to see the world. John walked next to Robin and Eva took his other side with the horse carrying their belongings. John’s trade turned out to be a smith, so he and Robin soon began discussing the best methods of fashioning swords, arrowheads, and knife blades from the scavenged armour we’d been collecting over the summer and autumn.
Tuck and I rode together as we so often did before our small world began to expand. He leaned over in his saddle and whispered, “How are we going to feed all these people?”
“I had hoped you’d be able to split a few loaves and fishes.” I tried not to laugh at the look of outrage on his face and failed. “Stop worrying, we’ll muddle through, we always do. We have money, we can buy from the markets in Nottingham when I go there. We’ll be alright.”
“You think that guards in Nottingham won’t notice you leaving with food? What about the mess and the smoke the extra fires are going to create? We’re going to be more visible on the escarpment. Never mind the work involved with the extra villagers we’ve left behind.”
“If we set them up on the western side of the escarpment they won’t be seen by those travelling to and from Nottingham on the main road. We are half a day’s ride from the city, so casual observers are unlikely. The added human and animal waste can be dealt with the same way I deal with ours. Tuck, we can make a real difference to this community if we share our knowledge. Isn’t that what you wanted? To make a difference?”
Tuck flushed red at my jab. “Of course I want to make a difference I just…” He looked down at the track we plodded along and his shoulders rounded.
A sad feeling grew in my heart for my brother. “What’s really wrong?”
He glanced at me. “What if I have another turn for the worse? What if the added company, which I can’t escape, causes the nightmares? The flashbacks? The other stuff?”
He meant the flagellation. “Maybe having people around you, even if I’m not there will help keep that under control,” I said, reaching out for his hand on the reins. “You are so strong, Tuck. You give people so much of yourself, maybe you should trust them to help you heal?”
He blinked back the tears threatening to fall and managed a smile. “I’m not very good at change am I?”
“No, Tuck. But you’ll learn.”
“I should pray for guidance.”
“Maybe you could pray for those loaves and fishes as well.”
He frowned at me and our usual bickering commenced.
In the end it took several days to settle people into our small enclave. John and I devised sleeping places for everyone and set about building new homes with the others taking orders. Even Robin proved he could do what was needed but I think he craved our missing privacy, I know I did.
OUR FIRST JOINT RAID happened a week later. Robin devised training plans for those who needed more experience with swords and I joined the group knowing I needed all the help I could summon from the good graces of a saint or two, before someone lopped my head off.
I trained with the women more than the men because being smaller and with some experience Robin pointed out I was less likely to do one of them damage if we made a mistake. Alviva and Eva were active participants but Agnus couldn’t bring herself to use a weapon at close quarters.
I watched Agnus breakdown in tears after a flurry of blows from Alviva. “That’s enough,” I called out, walking towards the pair. “Agnus, why don’t you return to the cave? The deer we brought down yesterday should be stored properly in the back of the cave, so there’s much work to be done and you dress meat better than Tuck or myself.”
Her big blue eyes, wet and shining, looked up at me. “You think I’m weak, don’t you?”
I heard Alviva snort behind Agnus’s back and I glared at her. “No, actually I don’t. You’ve come out here five days in a row to try to learn how to use a weapon you don’t like and you’re not familiar with, I think that makes you very brave and determined. Not everyone is good at everything, Agnus and you’re a fine shot with a hunting bow. We can use that skill because you’re strong, light and able to climb trees.” We’d had everyone climbing trees the day before to check who could protect us from above and Agnus fell into that category. John hadn’t attempted to climb a tree, apparently bears don’t climb trees.
“I just feel so pathetic. Why can’t I do what the other women do?” she asked me, massaging her stinging palm from where she’d lost her sword.
“I don’t know. Why can’t I swing a quarterstaff like John does?” Watching him fight Robin three days before had filled me with dread for Robin’s safety. John moved with speed, accuracy and deadly intent. The quarterstaff moved in a blur as he utilised both ends for attack and defence.
“I’m sorry I’m so hopeless.” Her body fitted against mine as I gave her a hug and rubbed her back.
“You aren’t hopeless, Agnus. You are brave and honest. I cannot think of finer traits in a friend.”
I let her go just as Robin returned with the men. When Gilbert saw his wife, he gathered her into his arms and took her back to the cave. I hoped he would manage to make her feel better, I certainly hadn’t accomplished anything. Young, kind spirits like Agnus shouldn’t have to fight, they should be nurtured and protected.
Robin’s words dragged me back to attention. “There’s a small column of men on the road travelling from Lincoln by the looks of things. The guards were in Nottingham colours but they have merchants amongst their number. I think we can make a little extra this week if we organise ourselves.”
“You want us to attack armed men on the spur of the moment?” I asked. He couldn’t be serious.
“There are only nine guards, I think it’s a fine opportunity for a raid that’ll be safe with our current numbers and we can’t keep running drills without
something to practice against. The next big tax collection is due in ten days. We have to be ready,” Robin pointed out.
I looked at Alviva, Eva and the men. “What’s the plan?” I asked, knowing full well that it didn’t matter how much I argued, Robin would have his way regardless of my feelings on the matter.
He grinned. “You and the women go down to Hallow Dell, and get into the trees. John and I will cut them off on the far side of the dell. Gilbert, Much and Tuck can cover their rear. The dip in the road will stop anyone seeing us and the forest is thick.”
“It’s also somewhere we’ve struck several times this month. They’ll be waiting for us,” I pointed out.
“It’s just nine guards,” Robin said.
“As far as you know.”
Despite my reservations I left the camp with Eva and Alviva. Both women were dressed in men’s clothing and we moved with surprising speed through the trees.
“This is exciting,” Eva said, her scarred cheeks flame red from the cold and the huge grin on her face. She carried her new sword but also a hunting bow and quiver.
Alviva walked beside her, a study in self-control and patience. “It will be good to prove ourselves.”
I glanced at her. “You have nothing to prove to us.”
Her dark eyes were hard and her mouth firm. “We are women, there is always something to prove.”
I heard an accent in her words but she never spoke about her background and the others couldn’t seem to give us any hint to her history before arriving in Sherwood two years before.
“Do you really believe that?” I asked.
“Don’t you find the same, being the lover of a man? You are the pretty one, the – effeminate one.”
I laughed. “Well, I’ve never been described like that but I can see why you think it. Yes, I suppose I feel the need to prove to the others I’m just as able as Robin.” Though I never felt effeminate and her description of me didn’t feel right.
“What’s it like?” Eva asked now on my other side. “Sex between men?”
I almost choked on my tongue. Alviva laughed, the first time I’d ever heard her make so much noise, and heat rushed through me. “Um, intimate, Eva.”
“But –”
“No, I’m not going into detail. If you find a lover, I’ll explain the bits that cross over between us but the other stuff is my business.” I had no wish to tell them Robin and I had not yet been fully intimate and I wasn’t about to describe my childhood trauma.
“No one could love this face,” Eva said, touching her scars.
The depth of sadness in her words and expression touched my heart. “Eva, don’t say that. You are beautiful to all those who look beyond the surface and I’m sure they aren’t as bad as you think they are. I’ve never met a woman so capable and if you don’t find a man then perhaps you will find a woman if that’s what you want.”
I noticed Alviva’s eyes slide to Eva as I spoke. I smothered my smile and stored away that nugget of information.
“So,” Alviva said, picking up her conversation, “you and Robin.”
My skin began to prick with discomfort. “What about us?”
“You are well suited,” she said.
I blinked at her in surprise. “Thank you.”
“You thought I would condemn you?” she asked, her dark brown eyes watching me, weighing me, assessing to see if I was worthy of her trouble.
“Honestly, yes.” I thought about how much Tuck and Marion still struggled with our relationship.
“I do not condemn any who are consenting in their love. I came to England as the wife of a Crusader. I didn’t have any choice in the matter and I was still a child.” Her soft accent became stronger and she did not look at us as she spoke but I saw Eva take her hand. Alviva leaned into her friend a little. “I tell you this because if I die in this raid I would like someone to know my story and you are a minstrel. Stories are yours to create. People are yours to remember.”
“Yes, they are and I shall see to it I honour your story if you would like to share more of it but we’ll do that after this raid. None of us will die today.”
“Unless our mad general has made a mistake,” Alviva pointed out.
I grinned. “Indeed, unless Robin has made a mistake.”
“Is such a thing possible?” Alviva asked, the humour in her eyes clear as the sun over our heads.
“According to Tuck – yes. According to Robin – never. According to me – only when he doesn’t listen.”
Alviva smiled at me, her narrow hawk-like features softening. “He loves you very much.”
That rush of heat swept through me again. “To be honest I wouldn’t know. He’s never told me.” What kind of weak fool did that make me in the eyes of these women?
Alviva patted my shoulder. “Some men cannot say the words. They rely on their actions to give voice where sounds fail them. He loves you, Will.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Robin Hood might love me but the man who had fought for his life in the desert probably didn’t and they often felt like two different people. I’d begun to realise I shared my bed with someone who wanted to shed the confines of materialistic desires; no title, no chattels, no responsibility. However, Robin – the man in the Hood – was not the one who organised our people. That man knew how to run a camp, give orders, and expected his people to obey. I feared that man would see people die by taking risks because it is what commanders did to those of us at the bottom of the pile.
We made it to Hallows Dell, a short stretch of road with sharp hills either side, it might once have been a river bed, and was covered in thick bowers. I hefted Eva up an oak tree, Alviva sprang into an ash on the other side of the road and I opted for a beech I’d used before. Most of the leaves were gone now but the shadows hid us well among the meshing branches. I sat with my back to the trunk so I could see the road, and keep my longbow strung.
We waited.
The others would be at the top of the rise, having taken a different route to ours so as to reduce noise and visual impact on the autumn woodland. It only took a few minutes for the small caravan of riders and a single but heavy cart to crest the hill to my left. It didn’t give much time for the men to be in the correct position on my right and I didn’t want to be hanging in the tree with just Alviva and Eva for company. It would be too dangerous. I glanced over the road and Alviva pointed to my right, obviously thinking the same thing.
Did we trust the men would ride to the rescue or did we let this caravan go? I had to prove to Alviva that Robin could be trusted and I had to help him forge a team able to stand against harder odds than we faced now. As his second, along with John, I owed him my loyalty and trust but it didn’t come easy.
I held my palm out flat, she needed to stay put and then gave her the thumbs up. She shifted on the branch she occupied but I could see her dark head nod.
The guards and the merchants were all quiet as they rode down the steep hill. They were nervous of Sherwood Forest and its dark roads, not really surprising considering the chaos we’d been causing. Halfway down the hill the guard at the front lifted his closed fist and the column stopped. He pushed his horse on a little more and seemed to be scenting the air, lifting his face into the wind.
“We don’t have time for this,” shouted a merchant at the back of the group. “It’ll be dark soon and I for one don’t want to be out here when that happens.”
“You don’t want to be dead out here either,” snarled the guard to his right. “Leave the captain to do his job, it’s what you’re paying us for.”
Shit, these guys knew what they were doing, I thought.
The captain rode down the hill a little more. He turned in his saddle, giving me his back. With the longbow I could kill him easily but something made me hesitate. I’d killed men working on Tuck’s mad plan for equality in Sherwood and Nottingham, but only if our lives were threatened. With Robin, deaths were more frequent but the violence Robin meted out made
it inevitable. Robin was a professional soldier, like the men we were about to fight, it was just about all they understood in the moment of battle. I bore witness to it every time we engaged in robbery.
I did not want to kill these men unless necessary to protect our people. “Shit,” I muttered. I watched the captain ride forward a bit more, still sniffing the air and scanning the surroundings. He didn’t look up though, few did when looking for us.
I drew back the bow, making the action slow so he couldn’t see it among the wind caught movements of the forest. I felt, rather than saw the women matching me and I had a sickening moment of doubt. I wanted to aim for the ground at the horse’s feet, the women though would aim for the captain or the horse. Alviva wouldn’t miss, she never missed. Something inside her had been broken and she wanted to fight, wanted to hurt. The only thing that softened her was Eva’s gentle nature, but the younger woman had a fire in her belly for this fight.
I sighed. Men would die today. I couldn’t prevent that from happening.
“It’s safe but we ride swiftly,” called the captain to the rest of his men. The merchants and guards clucked at the heavy horses dragging the cart but they could not rouse the beasts to a trot down the steep bank.
Once they reached the bottom and the captain had rejoined them, he ordered the horses whipped to make them shift ‘their sullen arses’ along the short straight and up the hill the other side.
Three more paces, I pulled my bow fully taut and unleashed the quivering arrow. It sped from my deadly weapon and hit the captain’s saddle. The horse bucked at the impact, probably feeling the point in its flesh and the next two arrows missed the man. Shouts rang out from the guards, who drew their swords while the captain wrestled his horse.
Men of Sherwood (A Rogue's Tale Book 1) Page 16
