I snuck into the house when she left. I couldn’t find it in my heart to go home and leave her alone with him. Even though she wounded my heart deeper than that day so many years ago when I realized I may never see her again, I know she needs me more than ever.
I made sure that I was as quiet as could be as to not to wake him up. I don’t want him to tell her that I was here, and I certainly don’t want him to try to be a hero. It would end in his death and I would have to burn Makena’s home to the ashes to hide the evidence which is something I’d rather not do.
Stay asleep, you fucking thief, I thought bitterly as I wandered past him into the hallway.
I’ve walked from room to room, opening each door and stepping in to inspect it. I guess I’ve been looking for any sign that she might have held me close to her heart like I have her, but so far, I haven’t found anything.
Nothing from her childhood.
No pictures of her family.
No pictures of friends.
Not a single trace that we even met each other so long ago.
I move quickly, doing my best not to disturb anything. Even if I did, she wouldn’t suspect anyone other than the bastard on her bed for rifling through her personal belongings, but he’ll get his in due time.
He doesn’t know that his time is quickly coming to an end, but that’s not my good news to share with him. He’ll learn this little fact when the moment arises, and I’ll be sure to be nearby watching with a smile on my face.
I have no doubt that, by now, Makena and her crew have put the fire out. I have even less doubt that she’ll see it this time.
She’ll remember.
She has to.
If she doesn’t, then I’ll have no choice but to confront her, burning with a white-hot rage inside of me.
And I don’t want that to be the last way she remembers me.
Chapter 17
Dom gave me a ride to the firehouse.
I’ve been in my office for the past forty minutes comparing all of the Polaroids from when these fires first started to this one.
The lily started out small, gradually becoming larger with each fire, and somehow, I missed the fucking thing until yesterday morning when my mind drifted back to this case in a groggy haze.
But why lilies?
Why so detailed and so grand?
Even the smallest burn pattern of the flower shows the detail of being open faced with a darker shading inside closer to the pistil. The longer I sit here staring at the pictures, the more frantically my mind is racing to find some significance.
My phone goes off in my pocket, vibrating powerfully, and almost causing me to fall out of the chair. I laugh nervously at my reaction, then glance at the screen, raising an eyebrow when I see a number I don’t know. I swipe to accept the call curiously and place the phone to my ear.
“Hello?” I ask into the receiver.
“You’ve been gone a while.”
I smile and shake my head, “Yeah. Had a fire call come in during the middle of the night.”
“I found your note, saw your number, thought I would call to see if you wanted to grab some lunch before I head home,” Tanner suggests cheerfully.
“Um, I’d really like to, but I have to finish this report. I have to get the information to the Los Angeles Fire Chief by end of day,” I reply feeling a little glum.
“It’s okay. I’ll come to you. Chinese okay?” he asks, still sounding cheerful as ever.
“That’s fine,” I relent with a short laugh. “Do you know where the firehouse is? Grab a pen and I’ll give you the address.”
I give Tanner the information he’ll need to find me then terminate the call as I go back to looking at my puzzle. Hopefully he doesn’t plan on staying too long because I don’t know what the hell to write in this report that I haven’t already written a thousand times before.
And since this is my guy, he’ll be my catch. I need to figure out a way to give the LA Chief as little information as I possibly can without compromising my position in The California State Firefighters' Association.
Taking a deep breath, I locate a new report file on the computer and begin to type something to satiate the prick that runs the Los Angeles County Fire Brigade.
Tanner showed up about thirty minutes after I started my report.
I jumped when a bag of delicious smelling food was dropped on my desk next to me and glanced up at him with a grin.
“Thanks!” I say as I motion for him to take the chair next to me. He chuckles lightly in return, still wearing his suit from last night, with those top buttons still undone. I’m thanking God Almighty right now that Dom doesn’t work here because if he saw his son wearing the same clothes from last night, I’m pretty sure the jig would be up.
Tanner reaches into the bag and hands me small carton of pork fried rice, a plastic fork, and some napkins as he clears his throat and pulls out a second serving for himself.
“There’s more food in there. I didn’t know what you liked, so I just grabbed a bunch of different things,” he explains with a shrug as he settles back into the chair and begins eating his food.
I steal a grateful glance at him before I shovel a forkful of the rice into my mouth, then set the carton down and go back to my report.
“Whatcha working on, Makena? Am I allowed to ask?” he inquires conversationally as he digs up some more of his rice and continues eating.
“Just another arsonist having fun while watching the world burn,” I tell him, rolling my eyes at the screen as I continue typing.
Every now and then, I can feel Tanner lean over and glance at my screen, but he doesn’t say anything else. He just keeps working on his carton until it’s empty, then retrieves two bottles of water from the bag, placing one by my hand and opening the other for himself.
“Thanks,” I mumble distractedly as I finish typing. After about an hour of excruciating lack of detail, I’m finally done with the damned thing and sit back to give it a look over.
I make a face when my next forkful of rice is cold, but it should have been expected considering I haven’t touched the carton after the first bite. Tanner chuckles, asks me where the break room is, then leaves with the carton and bag.
I sigh as I lean rest an elbow on the desk and drop my chin into the palm of my hand and keep reading. I hastily decide to remove the part about the lily pattern because that would link our counties and put is in pissing contest to see who would take precedence. I guess it’s safe to assume that since the majority of the fires were started in my jurisdiction that I would get to keep the case, but that LA Chief seems like he’d give me a hard time just for the hell of it.
“Here ya go,” Tanner says when he reappears. I look up at him gratefully as I take the paper plate he’s dumped the rest of my rice into and go back to reading. When I’m satisfied that I’ve given the other chief as much information as I’m sure he’d give me, I electronically sign my name at the bottom and send the report off.
“Sorry about that,” I tell Tanner as I turn the computer off. “I’m sure you could have found a better way to spend your afternoon than sitting in a stuffy office watching me type a report.”
“Mm,” he says, shaking his head as he takes another drink from his water bottle, “It was interesting to see you work. Really, I don’t mind.”
I set the plate down and stretch my arms high over my head then sigh as I crack my neck. “I think I’m gonna head home and get some sleep before this guy strikes again,” I tell him as I get to my feet.
“Okay, um. Want me to give you a ride?” he asks, standing up and handing me my water bottle.
“Sure,” I say gratefully. Tanner smiles and holds his arm out causing me to roll my eyes good-naturedly. “I don’t think you want that suit smelling like soot.”
“Like I said, I don’t mind,” he replies with a warm smile. “Actually, I need to swing by the place I’m renting to grab something before I drop you off. Is that okay? It’s not far from where you liv
e. I promise.”
I nod in agreement.
I don’t really care at this point, especially since it’s close to my place, because if this takes too long, I’ll just walk the rest of the way home.
Chapter 18
They’ve been gone all day.
I stay behind for as long as I could before I followed him.
When I saw him entering the firehouse, I knew it would be too tempting to follow him in, so I waited on the outside looking in.
He went inside with a bag of Chinese food that I was able to smell from where I hid. My stomach growled at the scent, yet I held my ground and didn’t go in. I decided that she should have one final meal before she’s faced with the white color of my fear, because after all, isn’t that what anyone that is condemned is promised?
I take a shaky breath.
I don’t want to think of her as eating a last meal, but I don’t know what else to do to get her attention. Especially now that she’s become so preoccupied with someone else.
Enamored is more the word, I think.
I can tell by the way she sneaks glances at him when she thinks he isn’t looking.
I can feel it when they walk by me like I don’t exist, emanating off her girlish giggles at whatever bullshit he’s managed to illicit such a reaction from her.
They look so happy together and it only feeds my anger.
She’s known him for less than forty-eight hours and looks at him like he’s the most amazing man she’s ever known in her entire life.
I know it’s time to turn my hatred inward.
There’s no more room for error or doubt.
Makena Washington has to finally see me again for the first time in a long time, and when she does, she’ll understand why it has to end the way that it does.
But first, I have to beat them back to her house.
I’ll wait in the dark like I always do until it’s time to show myself to her and she’ll either love me again.
She has to.
It’s the only way to keep this ending from how it’s been playing out in my head.
Chapter 19
I raise an eyebrow in amusement.
Tanner wasn’t lying when he said the place he’s renting isn’t far from my home.
As a matter of fact, it’s only two doors down from mine, and it makes me wonder why I haven’t seen him more recently. I’m fairly friendly with most of my neighbors since they see me as a hero, and I’ve always done my best to greet new people when they move into the area.
Of course, he could have started renting the small beach house on a day I spent at the firehouse or inspecting a scene somewhere.
“Wanna come in?” he asks, as he turns the car off and glances at me with a charming grin.
“I thought you said this wasn’t going to take long?” I reply curiously.
“It’s not,” he says with a laugh, “But I figured I’ve seen the inside of yours, you may as well see the inside of my mine. You don’t have to though, Makena. I was just trying to be friendly.”
With a shrug, Tanner pushes his car door open and I chew my lower lip for a moment before I step out of the car as well. Worst case scenario, I fall asleep on his couch while he retrieves whatever it is that he’s looking for, and he’ll have to carry me home.
All in all, not a bad deal if you ask me.
He smiles at me over his shoulder when he notices that I’m following him, then turns his attention back to the door as he slips the key in to unlock it. Tanner steps aside and with an overly dramatic grand, sweeping gestures motions for me to go in first. I grin at him as I drop into a little curtsy before I wander in, his chuckling echoing behind me as he steps inside then locks the door behind us.
The place looks much smaller on the outside than it does on the inside and I can’t help but wonder how much it costs for him to rent this spot.
“So why do you have a home and rent too?” I ask him as I glance around curiously.
“Huh? Oh, sometimes I just need to get out of my own head for a while and relax,” he replies distractedly with a shrug as he tosses his keys into a small, plastic black tray that sits on table near the front door. “Feel free to poke around while I go grab what I need, Makena. I don’t mind.”
I nod as he disappears down a narrow corridor to where I assume is his bedroom.
The kitchen is nice, comfortable and sunny.
I walk over to the small window that sits against the far wall before I shrug and decide to check out the living room. Maybe I can start flipping some channels and do my best to fall asleep before Tanner comes back out, I think as I stifle a yawn with my fist.
When I enter the room though, I see that my plan is quickly foiled due to a busted television screen. I walk over to it and lean down to stare at it curiously, wondering if it could have possibly just shorted out when Tanner speaks up.
“What are you doing?” he asks curiously.
I turn around, positive that the look on my face telling him that he scared the shit out of me and place a hand to my chest to steady my racing heart. “Sorry, I saw this was broken and was curious about what happened to it is all,” I explain with a nervous giggle.
“You’re always in work mode, huh?” he teases with a grin.
I shrug and nod, “Well, if it was something electrical that caused it to shatter like that, I could have given you some tips about the kind of extensions you use.”
“It wasn’t electrical. I lost my temper,” he explains, the grin melting into a smile. “It happens sometimes.”
I return his smile as I cross my arms loosely over my chest, “Did you get what you needed?”
Tanner nods as he takes a step into the room. He’s concealing something behind his back and while I don’t think he’s being anything other than playful right now, instinct tells me to be on alert.
“Alright, well …” I let my voice trail off and he chuckles as he holds a hand out toward me. I narrow my eyes suspiciously at him, but watching the corners of his eyes crinkle, the dimples forming irresistible caverns in his cheeks, makes feel instantly at ease.
And that was my mistake.
Chapter 20
When things burn white hot with rage, it casts a halo on everything around it. It feels almost holy in a way to see everything with an aura of the same color, rather than the different ones that follow us throughout our lives.
Makena takes my hand.
Her skin is as soft as I remember it from the first time I fixed a bandage to her scraped knee. It’s as flawless as it was when we laid in her bed and I kissed each and every freckle hidden on her body.
And the entire time, she never knew it was me.
She didn’t see me, but she will now.
“These are for you,” I tell her softly as I bring my arm around and present her with a small bouquet of blue-heart lilies. She recoils almost instantly but I’m much faster than she is and grip her firmly by her wrist.
“It broke my heart the first time I saw you after so long. You met my eyes, smiled, and kept walking like I was any stranger on the street. Why did you do that?” I ask her softly, trying to control the fire that’s starting to burn inside of me.
“What? Tanner, let me go,” she says as she begins to struggle against my grip.
“That’s not the name you knew me by, Makena. Tanner is my middle name,” I tell her in the same soft, stoic tone that the real me has been cursed with since she moved away during our childhood. “I knew it would be easy to find you, but I didn’t know how hard it would be to make you notice me. When Dad suggested that I needed a date for that fucking soiree, I asked him if he thought you might be interested in going with me. The only reason I went was that you would see me, but you still didn’t. How can you be so blind?”
I use my strength to push her away and watch her stumble, landing in a heap on the floor.
“Listen,” she begins in a terrified voice, “You have me mistaken with someone else and—”
“Still? Even th
ough I’m standing right fucking here with your favorite flowers, how can you still not see me?” I shout in frustration.
“Tanner—”
“That’s not my fucking name!” I cut her off angrily. “It’s not the name you knew me by, Makena. Remember? You have to remember,” I plead with her as I drop to my knees and move closer to her. She attempts to skitter away from me, so I grab her by her ankles and pull her toward me until her body is beneath mine.
Just like it was last night.
“When we were children, I found you crying on the playground of our middle school. You told me that a group of girls called you ugly and threw you down into the dirt. Your knee was bleeding, and I kissed your scrapes, then bandaged them up and you said that you felt better because of it. We spent the rest of the day on the swings at the park near the school grounds and I walked you home,” I ramble desperately.
Between her tears and struggle to get away from me, I can see something click inside of her mind and she relaxes ever so slightly.
“Xander?” she asks quietly.
I drop my head in relief.
She does see me after all.
“Yes,” I confirm gently as I sit her up and look into her eyes. “Dominic is my father, but you never met any of my family because you moved away the morning you promised me that you would come for dinner.”
Her mind is racing, I can see it in her eyes, but I don’t trust that she won’t try to run away if I ease up my grip, so I don’t.
“Alexander Tanner Griffith. That’s my full name, Makena. My family calls me Tanner and I’ve always hated it since you called me Xander. You couldn’t say Alexander, remember?” I ask with a short laugh as a tear rolls down my face.
She closes her eyes for a moment before she opens them again and nods.
“Why?”
“I missed you. Every day of my life for the past fifteen years, I fucking missed you,” I tell her as another tear falls. “I didn’t know how to get you to notice me after that day that you walked by me without stopping. I … One day I was watching the news and I saw that you had been made the new Fire Chief of Ventura County so I knew that the only way to get your attention would be to start fires. Did you like them? Were they as beautiful as you are? Have I made you proud?”
Ghost Flowers Page 4
