“End result’s the same though. He’s sleeping now when he wasn’t before.”
“But he’s not himself.”
“But what is the ‘self’ exactly?”
Rory groaned, and clutched his brow. “Don’t start this again. Why the hell did you take that philosophy class?”
“I took all the classes, even drama. Apparently, they do a big show at the end of the year, they haven’t said what yet, but hopefully I’ll get to be something good.”
“Not a tree…”
Ollie narrowed his eyes. “Not a tree, a speaking part.”
“Could be a speaking tree.”
“Whatever, you better watch, you better be moved to tears.”
“Jesus, what’s gonna happen to this tree. Will it be cut down? Burned as firewood?”
Ollie kicked him under the table and he yelped.
“That hurt.”
“You deserved it.”
Rory snorted. “What class is today?”
“Creative writing, Teddy goes to it, too.”
“Does he write about maggots by any chance?”
“Do you want me to kick you again?”
“Is that a serious question?”
They both laughed, then Ollie shook his head.
“I was wrong about the maggots.”
“You didn’t know they were so important to him.”
“No, I didn’t mean that. They weren’t maggots.”
Rory frowned down at the table. “What were they then?”
“Caterpillars. He showed me a book in the library, pointed them out.”
“How the hell did he get caterpillars?”
Ollie shrugged. “No idea.”
“What are you doing in creative writing?”
“Poetry.”
“No shit?”
“I like it. I like all of the classes. I’ve got to fill my time doing something, and besides, I failed everything at school. I wasn’t exactly a model student.”
“You get called into the headmaster’s office?” Rory snorted.
“Yeah, all the time. I was known as the scummy kid with the crazy father.” Ollie bowed forward and shut his eyes. “I didn’t have the best time at school. It was bad enough what went on at home, but to get it at school as well…”
His voice sounded raw, laced with emotion, and Rory was stunned to silence, he knew about Ollie’s father, abusive physically and mentally to Ollie and his younger brother, but he wasn’t supposed to know. Rory didn’t want to sit there and play oblivious, instead he tried to steer the subject away from Ollie’s father.
“I’m glad you like the classes. Art is enough for me.”
Ollie smiled. “I’m sure the novelty will wear off after a few years.”
“By the time you’re out of here, you might be a professor or something.”
Ollie pursed his lips. “Or maybe my defining moment will be playing a tree in the prison play.”
Rory laughed, but it felt forced. Ollie’s smile faded, and he tapped the table.
“I—I know people don’t talk about why they’re in here…”
Rory shook his head. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“But I want to. I trust you.”
“Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“You barely know me.”
Ollie frowned. “I know you enough. You know it’s a murder charge, and I stabbed someone.”
“Ollie, I don’t think this is a good idea—”
“It was my father. He came home drunk, and started on us like he always did, and I’d had enough. I was getting it from every angle, and when he hit Leo, I had to do something. I got a knife from the kitchen and stabbed him. I couldn’t stop stabbing him. I didn’t want him to hurt me, or my brother again and I don’t feel guilty about it. The worst part was seeing my brother’s face after I did it, knowing I might’ve fucked him up forever.”
“You did it to protect him.”
“He lives with my aunty and uncle now, and I’ve sent them visiting orders, but they never reply. I’ve sent them letters, too, but I’ve not got any back. I want to see him. I want to explain why I did what I did. I don’t want him to hate me.”
“How old is he?”
“Fourteen. When I get out of here, he’ll be twenty-five. How messed up is that? He might be married by then, he might have a kid, or two…”
Rory didn’t have any comforting words and squeezed Ollie’s shoulder instead.
“I’m not even gonna be there when he has his first beer…”
“He’s not tried alcohol?”
“Not officially—us two sipping dregs from my dad’s whiskey bottle doesn’t cut it.”
“Whiskey? Your first taste of alcohol was whiskey?”
“Yeah.”
“Jesus. Mine was a pint of bitter, my … friend told me it would put hairs on my chest and I downed the thing.”
Rory could remember Erica’s wide eyes. She hadn’t expected him to guzzle it down, but she’d been a little less shocked when it came back up.
“I can’t believe I’m gonna miss so much…”
“I’m sorry.”
Teddy came over and tapped on the end of the table. His sympathetic eyes were fixed on Ollie.
Ollie bobbed his head and wiped his face. “I’m all right, I’m all right. Is it time for class?”
Teddy grunted, which meant yes.
“I’ll see you later.” Ollie said, getting to his feet.
As soon as he was out of sight, Rory dropped his head into his hands and cursed. He rocked back and forth, mind whirling a million miles a minute.
“I mean, if you’re that devastated, I’m sure there’s room for one more in the class.”
Rory didn’t remove his hands. “I’m not in the mood, Sebastian.”
“Mood, mood for what?”
“This … whatever it is your doing.”
“I see you looking sad, and I have to come over and make sure you’re okay.”
“I don’t want you to be nice to me.”
Sebastian laughed lightly. “What?”
Rory heard him move around the table, then sit in the chair opposite.
“Be horrible,” Rory said.
“It’s not in me to be horrible.”
“Yeah, right.” Rory laughed darkly.
“I’m serious.”
Rory removed his hands and placed them flat on the table. “You hated me when I first came here, I saw it in your eyes.”
“You couldn’t even look at me—”
“All I saw was hatred. Look at me like that again, tell me I’m nothing, that I’m not worth the oxygen.”
“Why?”
“Because I need you to.”
“Really? You’re actually asking me to do that?”
“Yes.”
Sebastian tilted his head, then placed both his hands on top of Rory’s. His expression changed like a switch, from normal and calm to raging and spiteful. He curled back his lip, flared his nostrils, and froze Rory to the chair with a blast of his icy stare.
“Hate doesn’t do it justice. I despise you. You’re not worth the oxygen in your lungs, the food in your stomach, or the blood in your veins. You are less than nothing, and the world would be a better place without you in it.”
Rory only realized tears were running down his face when one hit the table. He looked down at the splash, then back up to Sebastian. His emotional switch had flicked again, and he wore an expression of unmasked sympathy, the skin around his eyes twitched, and he shook his head.
“Is that really what you wanted?”
Rory nodded, then shook his head, then nodded again. “I don’t know.”
“Can I ask for something in return?”
“What?”
“Never ask me to do that again.”
“Aww, how sweet.”
Rory blinked back the moisture in his eyes, then looked up at Pauly. He gestured to the table, where Sebastian’s hands were no longer pr
essing down on Rory’s. They had at some point, joined, and they were holding each other.
“Keep walking.” Sebastian hissed.
Pauly carried on, and Rory noticed more men wearing bandanas following him. He counted ten, and they all glared venom at Sebastian.
“There’s more of them,” he whispered.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I am worried.”
Sebastian smiled. “I can handle it. I’ve still got the majority of this prison behind me.”
“But it only takes one to hurt you bad.”
Sebastian’s smile fell, and he dropped his gaze down to their hands. “Rory, you’re squeezing me pretty damn hard.”
Rory stopped clutching and pulled his hands away. “Sorry, I didn’t realize.”
“It’s okay… Chess?”
Chess was Rory’s salvation, and Rory nodded eagerly.
Sebastian waved Einstein over. He placed the board down, and Sebastian set about getting it ready.
“Ready?”
“Yes.” Rory breathed.
Sebastian rubbed his fingers up and down the pieces before he moved them, and Rory was transfixed. When he took Rory’s pieces, he clutched them in his hand before setting them in front of himself. He lined them up, all the pieces of Rory he had claimed, and now owned. Rory took more pieces of Sebastian, but he didn’t line them up with confidence, he pushed them aside.
“Captain’s back.” Sebastian murmured.
Rory turned around expecting to see Captain looking a bit less guilt-ridden, instead he looked raging angry, and Rory’s heart started to thump.
“Captain?”
“He wouldn’t even hear me out. Got the guards to tell me he felt too threatened by me, doesn’t think he can work with me. You hear that Rory, he spent thirty minutes with me and saw me for what I was, a monster. Unsavable, evil.”
“You’re not evil.”
Captain stepped forward and towered over Rory. “Don’t. You don’t know me.”
He turned his attention to Sebastian. “You run this wing, right?”
“Right.”
“You smuggle stuff in, or you know who does?”
Sebastian flashed looks at the closest guards, but they were all busy talking to inmates. “Yeah.”
“I need alcohol.”
Rory widened his eyes and looked up at him. “No, you’ve gotten off that shit.”
“What the hell do you know about it?” Captain growled.
The words hit him like a lash, he wasn’t supposed to know about his alcoholism, Captain hadn’t shared that demon with him.
“So, I need drink.”
“Please don’t do this.” Rory whispered.
Captain lifted his chin. “How about it? What do you need in return?”
“I’m not getting you any.” Sebastian said.
“What?”
“I said no.”
Captain curled his hands into fists. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are?”
He launched the chessboard, and sent the pieces flying. The prison ground to a halt, and Captain leaned over Sebastian breathing heavily.
“You better back away fast.” Sebastian growled.
“Or what?”
Rory turned to Captain. “Please, calm down.”
“Oi, Captain!”
His head snapped up. “What?”
Pauly waved him over. “I wanna talk to you.”
Captain huffed, then stalked over to the table of bandana-wearing inmates.
“I’m not the only one that smuggles contraband into prison.” Sebastian mumbled.
Pauly gestured Captain closer, then whispered something in his ear. Rory went to stand, but Sebastian grabbed his arm and pulled him down.
“No.”
“I can’t just let him destroy himself.”
“He’s a big boy, his own man, you have to let him make his own mistakes. Sit down.”
Rory tugged against Sebastian’s hold, but Sebastian didn’t give up his grip on his arm. Captain walked further away with Pauly at his side, then they both vanished into Pauly’s cell.
“Leave it,” Sebastian said firmly.
Rory sunk back down. “I didn’t think this would be so hard.”
“What, being in prison? Didn’t they tell you, it’s a barrel of laughs.”
Einstein gathered the pieces and Sebastian prepared the board.
“I don’t want to play.” Rory whispered.
“You have to,” Sebastian said, pointing to Rory’s pieces. “Play the game.”
Chapter Twelve
Hamish clicked his fingers in front of Rory’s face. “Earth to Rory…”
“Sorry what?”
“You’ve barely said anything today.”
Rory glanced at Hamish, then Morris. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Well, get rid of it,” Morris scoffed. “There’s only one thing that should be on your mind, and that should be taking down Sebastian Claw.”
Rory bobbed his head. “I heard him on the phone. Some guy called Watson. He told him to put it all in his storage depot, wait till he was out.”
“Any idea what he was referencing?” Hamish asked.
“No, not a clue.”
“We’ll put Owen Watson under surveillance.”
“Owen Watson?”
Morris nodded. “Before Sebastian went inside, they worked together. He was one of Sebastian’s crew.”
“Another scumbag that makes money out of death and destruction,” Hamish muttered.
“Do you have anything else for us, anything at all?”
Rory picked his nails. “There’s a gang forming in the prison.”
“A gang? Sebastian’s getting a gang together?” Hamish asked.
“No, against Sebastian. It’s growing in numbers. I don’t know what they’re planning, but I know it’s not good.”
“Good?” Morris laughed, “Surely it’s bloody great. Maybe this gang will sort out Sebastian before he has a chance to step out the gate.”
“I don’t want him dead.” Rory spat.
“It’ll solve all our problems.”
Hamish sighed. “I actually agree with Rory. I don’t want Sebastian Claw to die. I want him to take ten paces out of this prison, then get arrested by me, and taken straight to the station. Whatever happens once he goes back inside, that’s not my problem.”
Rory tapped his finger on the table, and opened his mouth to speak, but the words didn’t come out.
“What is it?” Hamish asked.
“I can’t stay in here much longer.”
“Why not?”
He thought of Ollie. “I’m gonna end up hurting people, people that don’t deserve to be hurt.”
“Hurting who?”
“Ollie, the guy I came in with.”
Hamish rubbed his sparse moustache. “Murdered his father in a frenzied attack.”
“He’s come to rely on me, and the guilt’s starting to eat away at me. The longer I’m here, the more it’ll hurt when I go.”
“Push him away then.”
Rory scrunched his face. “I can’t do that.”
“You are not here to make friends, you’re here to spy on Sebastian.”
“And I have. I’ve given you information.”
“Not enough,” Hamish growled. “You owe me, remember? The favor I did for you?”
Rory bit the inside of his cheek.
“What favor?” Morris asked.
Rory looked up at Hamish and shook his head, but all compassion had gone from the inspector’s eyes.
“Rory shouldn’t even be a police officer.”
“What?”
“He failed his entrance exam repeatedly.”
Morris smirked. “Are you serious? It wasn’t hard.”
“When he failed for the third time—”
“Third?” Morris blurted.
“He begged me to hel
p him, to tamper with the results, said he wanted to get in before his dad died, wanted to tell him he’d finally achieved his goal.”
Rory closed his eyes and pictured his dad’s face when he told him. Lying in the hospital, pale, and frail, his face had lit up when Rory told him he’d finally got in. The pride had been evident to see, and he grasped Rory’s hand tightly, spoke around the tube in his mouth, and told Rory he loved him.
“You knew I’d ask for a favor in return.” Hamish mumbled.
“But this…”
“This is a great opportunity for your career. Not only that, but you’re taking down Sebastian.”
“But Ollie—”
“Is an unfortunate casualty. Focus on the main objective.”
Rory pursed his lips and released a slow breath. “It’s not that easy…”
Hamish grinned. “You’re doing great, don’t give up now.”
As he was marched back to the wing, he tried to sort out his swirling mind.
He hated the Sebastian of the past, hated that he killed, and that he made money helping the heartless and cowards that wanted to cause death and destruction.
He hated the Sebastian of the future, the man that was clearly about to start up his dark business all over again, who clearly wanted revenge on the inspector that put him away.
But the Sebastian of the present. The one that kept him safe, made him smile, and filled in the hours of boredom by playing chess, he liked that one.
He also liked the Sebastian that made him ache in the night, and his self-inflicted orgasms more intense. He wanted Sebastian sexually, and it was driving him mad.
“How’s your uncle?” Ollie asked.
“He’s all right.”
Ollie lowered his gaze. “Mine’s still ignoring my visiting orders.”
Rory patted his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Along with the Sebastian conundrum, he was plunged into the depths of guilt by an oblivious Ollie. Ollie who opened up to him, who trusted him, who thought they had years together ahead of them. He’d been inside four months, and there were five more until Sebastian’s release. Five more months, and then Rory was going to break Ollie’s heart.
Ollie gestured to the table of bandanas and the only head not wearing one. “I talked to Captain earlier.”
“Yeah?”
“He asked if I was okay, and I said I was fine, then he asked about you.”
The Rat Page 10
