Sebastian laughed, and dropped a kiss to Rory’s shoulder. Rory’s gaze snapped to his lips, and he twisted to kiss him.
Sebastian avoided his seeking mouth. “What did I tell you before…?”
“No kissing, but I really want to kiss you.”
“Kissing isn’t needed for sex.”
Rory frowned. “I know it’s not needed, but I’d really like to kiss you.”
“I kiss your cock all the time, and I kiss these.” He pinched Rory’s nipple, and he jolted.
“I just don’t get why you don’t wanna kiss on the mouth.”
“Too intimate.” Sebastian murmured.
“Your cock’s still up my ass…”
Sebastian slid out. “I don’t kiss, if that’s a problem, we can stop.”
“No,” Rory blurted, spinning around. “I need this.”
Sebastian smiled. “Now that’s better feedback than ‘shit’.”
Rory dropped his gaze. “I mean it. I need…you.”
“Why couldn’t you have got convicted sooner, we could have had years, not mere months.”
“I guess we’ve got to make the most out of this,” Rory whispered, “before it all ends.”
****
Sex and chess were the only times Rory didn’t feel the pressure of his emotions crushing him. He didn’t think about Ollie’s imminent heartbreak, or Captain’s self-destructive path. He didn’t think about letting Hamish down, or Morris’s judging stare, or being a disappointment to his dad. He didn’t even think about Sebastian the murderer, or his future criminal activities.
He thought about Sebastian’s mouth, his hands, his cock that filled the empty void inside him. Even when they played chess, Rory ended up thinking about sex. Sebastian had started to stroke Rory’s claimed pieces across his lips, the same way he rubbed Rory’s cock against his mouth before sucking it inside.
Rory grew hard under the table and their pupils turned darker the longer they played the game. Many matches were abandoned with their mutual need to get back to their cell and settle the game in a different manner. In the game of sex, Sebastian always won.
****
Rory woke to the sound of buzzing. He groaned and tried to get his bearings. He tried to hop down from the top bed, but his legs hit the floor as soon as he swung them over.
“Rory,” Sebastian hissed from above. “Phone’s in my pillow.”
He reached for it, tugged it out, then handed it to Sebastian. He answered the phone with a string of curse words, and the bed creaked as he sat up.
Rory rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes and tried to remember why he was on the bottom bunk. They’d been having sex, standing up, and Sebastian had told him not to come across the bed. His deep voice had sent Rory over the edge, and he’d done what Sebastian warned him not to. Sleeping in the damp bed was the consequence.
Rory lay back down and pulled the sheet over his stomach. The whole bed smelled of Sebastian, and he inwardly decided he’d cum on it more often.
“What?” Sebastian hissed. “Are you sure?”
Rory didn’t hear the other voice, but Sebastian’s harsh tone cleared the last remains of fog from his mind. He was angry, then shocked, then angry again.
“I don’t know,” Sebastian snapped. “I have no idea.”
Any endorphins vanished, and the heavy weight of guilt pressed on Rory’s chest. Something on the outside had gone wrong, and Rory suspected it was to do with the farm, or the barrels Sebastian was getting his friend to store.
“Well, think of a way.”
Sebastian sighed, then spoke over the side of the bed. “I’m sorry that woke you.”
“It’s okay … is something wrong?”
“Yes.”
Rory’s throat tightened. “Want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Night, Sebastian.”
Rory didn’t get a reply.
Chapter Fifteen
Rory tapped his finger on the table, then lifted his head. “Ten days ago, he got a call and it didn’t sound good.”
Hamish nodded. “What did he say?”
“He was shocked, angry. It seemed like something had gone wrong, and he didn’t know how to fix it, and since then, he’s hardly said a word.”
“I intervened in the sale of the farm.”
“Yeah?” Rory whispered.
“There’s no chance him or his friend will get their hands on that land. Whatever he was planning on doing there, I’ve stopped him.”
“What about the barrels?”
“They were confiscated, contained all sorts of chemicals. A lot of potassium nitrate. Charcoal. Looks like they were going to experiment with other substances, too.”
“Why?”
Hamish shrugged. “Could be bombs again, but the point is, with your help, we’ve stopped him before he can go back to his old ways. Rory, you’ve done good.”
He didn’t feel good. For ten days Sebastian hadn’t touched him, and he’d barely spoken. There had been no Vaseline nights, or hours spent together in the gym, or intense chess games, Sebastian had reverted back to the cold version of himself that Rory had trouble looking at.
“Your dad would be so proud of you.”
Rory bit his lip. “You think so?”
Hamish nodded. “I know he would be. You’ve done amazing, and I need you to stay in here a little longer, see what he does when he’s under pressure. Can you do that, Rory?”
Two months ago he was desperate to leave, but everything had changed. The thought of going had nausea swirling in his stomach. “Yeah, I can stay in longer.”
Hamish smiled. “Good.” he turned to Morris. “Isn’t he doing good?”
“Yeah…” Morris whispered.
She was leaning against the wall and hadn’t looked towards the table once.
“Did that hurt to say?” Rory asked.
Morris pushed off from the wall, then left the room.
“Don’t worry about her.”
“I’m not worrying,” Rory said.
Hamish laughed, then offered his hand over the table for Rory to shake.
“You’ll be out of here really soon,” Hamish said.
Rory had never felt so many opposing emotions at once. His dad would’ve been proud he’d stopped a future catastrophe, but he was also betraying someone he liked, and when he left the prison, he left behind Ollie who’d come to rely on him.
The two-minute walk back to the wing didn’t help him sort through his mind. It was a mess, and for the first time in months, Rory sought out Captain. He knocked tentatively on the cell door, and Captain’s gruff voice asked him to come in.
“It’s me…”
Captain groaned and heaved himself up. Sweat dripped down his face, and he slumped forward, clutching his stomach.
“You look awful.”
“Thanks.”
“What’s wrong?”
Captain huffed. “Sickness, sweating, a headache so bad I’m tempted to knock my head into the wall…”
“Why?”
“The whiskey tap couldn’t keep up with demand.”
“Oh.”
Rory stepped inside and sat down next to Captain. “Don’t you dare tell me, I told you so.”
“I’m not gonna. Withdrawal looks like hell.”
“It is. I’ve seen many hells, but this one I keep going back to. I’m weak to this hell. Where’s Ollie?”
“Art class.”
“I’m awful at drawing, I can just about manage stick men. That’s the limit of my artistic talent.”
Rory’s lips twitched into a smile. “Same, but Ollie, he’s something else. Gifted.”
“Yeah?”
“He drew this butterfly for Teddy, and it looks amazing.”
Captain grinned. “I’ll have to ask if I can see it.”
Rory nodded. “Yeah, he’ll really like that.”
“How you coping?”
“As well as can be expected…”
Rory picked a boot of
f the floor, and Captain passed him a brush. “I may have been sick on that one.”
“Nice.” Rory snorted, then he started brushing the boot. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask, but I can’t promise I’ll answer.”
“When you were in the army, did you ever go into enemy lines, you know like … undercover?”
Captain frowned. “Where’s this come from?”
“I wondered that’s all. I’ve not had the chance to ask you what you did.”
“My career lasted two decades, and I ended my career as a captain, but before that, I was part of the SAS and, yes, I did go undercover at one point. It was the hardest assignment I was tasked with, and even though I completed my objective, got the result we wanted, I didn’t feel any satisfaction. Stabbing someone in the back who trusts you, who you like even when you know you shouldn’t, it messes with your head.”
“How did you cope with it?”
“I focused on the end result, told myself that they were evil. Repeated it over and over in my head, ‘it will all be worth it.’”
“And was it?”
“On paper, yes,” Captain said, then he tapped his temple. “But in here, no. I justify my actions with my head, but my heart still punishes me, and then I punish my head with alcohol. One vicious cycle.”
“That’s rough.” Rory mumbled.
“It is what it is. Others coped better than I did under those situations, hence I left the SAS.”
“How did they cope?”
“They had people back home, wives, husbands. Whatever they did, they knew the people closest to them wouldn’t think badly of them, look at them differently, and I think that knowledge and support helps.”
Rory thought of Erica, and his lips lifted into a small smile. He knew he’d leave the prison a mess, but if anyone could piece him back together again, make him feel less of an asshole, it was her.
“I’m sorry you didn’t have that.”
“Don’t be.”
“And I’m sorry the therapist didn’t want to see you.”
Captain shook his head. “I didn’t even want to see him for the therapy, I wanted to apologize. Show him I wasn’t that angry person, or at least I’m not him all the time.”
“Maybe you still can.”
“How? He won’t see me.”
“You could write him a letter?”
Captain’s frown deepened, then he smiled softly. “You know what, that’s not a bad idea. Thank you.”
Rory put the boot down and brushed his hands together. “Glad I could help.”
“When I’m feeling better, I could help you in the gym again.”
“That sounds good.”
****
Ollie cleared his throat and placed his hands on his hips. “You didn’t come to art…”
“What are you, the art police?”
“You’ll come next week though, right?”
Rory nodded, and Ollie dropped in the seat beside him.
“Good. We’re doing papier-mâché masks.”
“Maybe after that we’ll do macaroni pictures.”
“Screw you.” Ollie snorted.
He glanced around, then shuffled nearer to Rory. “I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s up with Sebastian?”
Rory gulped, then shrugged. “No idea, he’s not told me.”
“He’s gone from smiling and all over you, to miserable and distant in the flick of a switch.”
Sebastian kept his distance during the day, and at night when Rory tried to speak to him, he shut the conversation down with a swift ‘Night, Rory’.
The rejection stung, and he found it harder to look Sebastian’s way. His chest tightened when he saw him, and the guilt in the pit of his stomach curdled and made him want to vomit. He was responsible for Sebastian’s depressed state, and he didn’t know how to fix it.
Bombs and murder, Rory thought. The goal was to stop Sebastian’s plans, and he’d done so. On paper, the result was worth it, but Rory’s heart faltered just like Captain had described.
“Maybe he’s trying to distance himself.”
“Distance himself?” Rory asked.
“It’s not long until he goes, maybe he doesn’t want you relying on him too much. He’s being cruel to be kind.”
“Maybe.” Rory mumbled. He spotted Jack and Green on the pool table close by. “Wanna see if they want a game?”
Ollie glanced over his shoulder. “If you want.”
Rory waved his hand to get Jack’s attention. “Can we play?”
“Not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Sebastian threatened to snap my cock, remember?”
“He was kidding. Come on, let’s play pool.”
Ollie groaned. “I’m terrible.”
Jack waved them over. “I’ll give you some pointers.”
“Do you know any trick shots?” Ollie asked.
Jack nodded. “Yeah, a few.”
“Let’s see them.”
Green huffed and perched on the side of the table. “Here we go. Jack loves showing off.”
“You’re only jealous because you suck.”
Jack showed them all sorts of trick shots, and Ollie was eager to learn them. When he chipped the ball over a cue, he punched the air.
“You see that?”
“Yeah, I saw it,” Rory said. “My turn.”
He couldn’t chip a ball to save his life, and each time he missed, Ollie clutched his stomach and laughed.
“Not so good at hitting pool balls.” Ollie mumbled.
Rory swung the cue his way. “Good at hitting real ones.”
“Maybe that’s why Sebastian’s avoiding you, you hit them too hard.”
Rory snorted, and shook his head. He leaned over the table for another try, and Jack came up behind him, and pushed his back down. “Get closer to the table, you’ll shoot better.”
“Back off.”
Rory looked up at the sound of Sebastian’s growl. His eyes pulsed from his head as he stared at Jack.
“I don’t want any trouble.” Jack blurted.
“You’ve got it.”
Rory stepped between them. “He’s only teaching me how to shoot.”
“Then why is he draping himself over you?”
“I wasn’t.” Jack said, “Look, it was Rory’s idea anyway, he came over to us.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah—”
Sebastian stalked away, and Rory hurried after him. “Wait.”
“Trying to make me jealous?”
“I wasn’t. I swear.”
“So what, you want him all over you?”
“There was nothing in it. I went over there for Ollie.”
“What?”
“I’m making sure he’s got other friends apart from me.”
Rory stepped away from Sebastian and peeked a look down the wing. Ollie was laughing with Jack and Green, cue in his hand, just like Rory wanted.
Sebastian sighed. “I’m sorry I reacted like that.”
“You’ve not been in a good place these past days.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
Sebastian shook his head. “Not really.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I might go outside and watch soccer…”
“Can I come, too?” Rory waited for Sebastian to turn him down, but Sebastian gave him a considering look, then mumbled.
“If you want.”
“Yeah, I want.”
The benches were taken, and Sebastian led Rory away from the bins. He leaned against the wall, then pulled Rory back to his chest. The guilt-happiness combo assaulted Rory again, and he tried to push it away, squash it, but it was impossible. Sebastian’s arms were around him, holding him tight, and his chin rested on the top of Rory’s hair. The embrace made his heart flutter, but his stomach sour, and his head hurt.
They stayed in the same position in complete silence.
Rory wasn’t really watching the inmates play soccer, and he doubted Sebastian was either. The sun started to go down, and lit up the yard in an orange glow.
“When I get out, one of the first places I’m gonna go is the beach.”
“The beach?”
“Rashford Pier. Ever been?”
Rory shook his head.
“My grandparents had a caravan nearby, and I used to go stay there for a few weeks in the summer. The pier had this arcade, and I spent my time cheating other kids out of their pennies.”
“You were always an asshole then?”
Sebastian chuckled. “Guess you could call me that. I call it being clever.”
“How modest.”
“I’d trick money out of them. Card games, magic stones—”
“Magic stones?”
“I’d claim that some pebble on the beach had special qualities.”
“And the kids believed that?”
“I could be convincing, even back then. Every year I went to that pier, and for those two weeks, I felt powerful, I felt clever, I felt good.”
Rory lowered his head. “Why are you saying all this?”
“I don’t know. I wanna go back there. I want to remember what that felt like.”
“But you are powerful, you are clever, and you are good.”
“I’m not, Rory. I had a plan, and it’s gone wrong, and I don’t feel powerful or clever, or good. I feel the opposite. I feel like a game’s been taken out of my hands. I feel like I’m losing, and I have no idea how to turn it around.”
“You’ve still got time to turn it around, to win. It’s like chess, you could be down to your last piece, but it’s not over until it’s taken.”
“My last piece has already been taken. The board’s empty, my opponent just doesn’t realize it yet.”
Chapter Sixteen
“The last time I did papier-mâché was when I was ten.” Rory muttered.
Ollie snorted. “It’s better than sitting in the wing and doing nothing.”
“True. All I do is think about the mess of my life, and it’s depressing.”
“Well you’re fun this morning…”
Mrs. Mason clapped her hands for everyone’s attention, yet again no one listened, and it was the deep boom of the guard’s voice that shut them all up.
“Those that started last week, come and collect your balloons from the front.”
The Rat Page 13
