“That’s the theory. He was waiting to see if he could still use you to get to me, then take us both out at the same time. That’s what I would do if I knew Lorenzo had a girlfriend and I wanted to take him out.”
“Damon, I don’t believe that for a minute.”
“Why not?” He had the nerve to sound offended.
“You’d move in on her and force his hand right away. You’d have no patience for that.”
I watched the smile cover his face. “You’re probably right, doll. Maybe you know me better than I know myself.”
“I wish that were true, Damon.”
“You know I mean what I say, Jillian. You know I’m not afraid to say what’s on my mind. My family means everything to me, and you’re a part of that family. I’m stubborn and inflexible, except when it comes to you. I’ll do anything and everything for you. I’m a hard-ass, no one fucks with me, and I’m always in charge. But you’re my queen, and I’ll bow at your feet. You know me like no one else does. You know me down to my soul, Jillian, because you’re the other half of it.”
He stole my breath with his words, and I didn’t have a rebuttal. I couldn’t argue with the points he made. I’d seen them with my own eyes. I’d been privy to a side of him few people outside of his family had experienced. Funny, protective, flirty, and teasing. He’d shielded me from harm and taken me to meet his family. I’d spent the night at his apartment and stayed in the hospital with him.
But could I live with being kept in the dark when my life was affected? Or my child’s life? Or my husband’s, if I stayed with Damon and eventually married him? Mama Lina explained to me how the family worked, the life she’d accepted with Vincenzo. Damon answered my questions with all the honesty I could expect. Even Benny confirmed what they’d both said without knowing how his words affected me. But those rules had never applied to me before meeting Damon. They had never been the guiding force in my life.
Until my mother’s death.
Until we were pawns in the life-and-death game between the Sanfratello and the Marchetti families.
I wasn’t sure I wanted that to become my life…my new norm.
Even if that meant I couldn’t be with Damon.
Even if that meant one day I would have to see him happy with someone else.
I didn’t take his warning seriously enough. I didn’t give it enough consideration. My only thought was I’d be with him, and that would be enough for me. My naïveté regarding the finer intricacies of how a mob family worked would cost me dearly in the end. One decision would take the love of my life and the father of my baby away from me. The other decision would strip away all the freedoms I’d taken for granted all my life. But I had to wonder if my decision had already been made when I accepted his warning, when I accepted him for who he was.
I wondered if I’d ever be able to walk away from him.
I ran my hands over his back, side, and leg, feeling for any shards of glass or splinters of wood still embedded in his skin. “I think I got them all. Can you believe it? Maybe this fiasco won’t require a night in the hospital, after all.”
“Doll, I had no intentions of spending the night in the hospital. I’m not spending one more night away from you. The last few months without you have been the worst kind of hell, and I’m in no hurry to do that again.”
I got up and discarded the used medical supplies but kept my eyes averted from his. When I didn’t reply, he rolled off the bed and walked into the bathroom. While he showered and washed away the remnants of the day, I curled up on the bed and tried to wipe it from my memory. In the short time since I’d first met Damon, my life had been in danger more frequently than all my other years combined.
That was when the full realization of my predicament hit me.
With or without Damon, the danger would never go away while the Sanfratellos were still out there. The standing threats against my baby and me were real, with or without Damon in the picture. Only, without him, I didn’t stand a chance of surviving. The drastically increased show of aggression we’d just survived was all the proof I needed. Lorenzo was determined to have me—dead or alive.
A strong, warm arm slid over my waist, quickly followed by a strong, warm body pressed against my back. “I love seeing you in my bed.”
His sultry voice calmed my frayed nerves, and his commanding presence made me feel protected, but I wasn’t ready to resume our relationship. My body was more than willing, responding to his every word and touch. But my mind refused to relax its constant guard over my heart. My arms drew tighter to my body, closing myself off to him and creating a symbolic protective barrier.
He slid his hand along my arm until he reached my fingers, then interlaced them with a light squeeze. “I know you’re still having a difficult time with everything you’ve been hit with, doll. I also know it’s not easy for you to trust me again. I’ll have to work extra hard to earn that trust back. But I won’t ever give up on you, Jillian. I’ll never stop trying to earn your love again.”
The vise around my heart gripped tighter. “What if I decide I can’t live with the family rules? What if I decide I want out?”
I expected to hear a reiteration of the warning he originally gave me. At first, I didn’t understand a lifetime member meant a shorter lifespan if I changed my mind, but that was the reply I waited to hear.
Instead, he took a moment to consider his words. Then he stunned me. “Once we’ve neutralized the threat, I’ll let you go.”
“Just like that?”
“If that’s what you really want, Jillian. If that’s what it takes to make you happy. It would kill me to do it, but I would for you.”
“What would that mean for you? What would the family do if you let me go? What would your father do to you?”
“Don’t worry about me, doll. You just concentrate on yourself and what you want. While you’re making up your mind, I’ll work on persuading you to stay with me.”
Just my luck, when I relaxed in his arms, ready for sleep to take me away from reality, every muscle in my body began shaking involuntarily. The nervous energy I’d held at bay by focusing on Damon returned with a vengeance, flowing through me like wild rapids out of control. His arms and legs cocooned me in his protective hold. His mouth hovered over my ear, his lips grazed across the shell of my lobe, and he whispered loving, soothing reassurances until my teeth stopped chattering.
“That’s my girl. Always so strong, so independent, so feisty. I love everything about you, Jillian. Even when you finally have to face the fact that you’re not invincible. But, believe me, doll, you are very brave. You can relax now, I got you.”
“How do you deal with it all, Damon? How do you stay so cool and collected when what’s around you is scary crazy?”
“It’s all I’ve ever known, doll. After watching my dad and my uncle handle business for as long as I can remember, nothing really surprises me anymore. The first time someone sprayed a hail of bullets at us scared the fuck out of me. But Dad and I had a long talk that night, and he stressed how I had to be strong enough to think clearly in the moment, so I could protect our loved ones. Like he protects Mama.
“I couldn’t stand the thought of letting something bad happen to someone we love, of having the fault of that fall on my shoulders. That lit a fire inside me that burns to this day. What I do protects those I love, and I’m good at my job. I don’t know another way to be, doll.”
“If we’re together, will you keep secrets from me? Will you keep me in the dark on where you are and what you’re doing?”
“That’s a hard question to answer, Jillian.”
“It’s really not, Damon. If I’m your wife, the mother of your child, and you have to go out on family business, will you keep it a secret from me? Will I be sitting at home with our baby, wondering if you’re going to make it back alive? Dreading when the phone rings because I won’t know if you’re calling to say you’re okay, or if some stranger is calling to tell me you’re dead. If we’re
together, who comes first in your life, Damon?”
He sensed my question led to a deal breaker, I felt it in the way the muscles in his whole body stiffened. He didn’t want to lie to me, but he didn’t want to tell me the truth either.
“When we’re married, I’ll tell you where I’m going and what I’m doing. You will always come first with me, Jillian. Always. But—this is one warning I won’t change for you so listen closely and understand my meaning—when we get married, there’s no leaving. There’s no such thing as divorce. There’s no trial separation. We’re a team. For life. Until death. That is nonnegotiable.”
“When we’re married. Not before? Not while we’re working through this little problem you created in our relationship?”
“There’s no leaving anytime. We’re meant to be together.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. You said when we’re married, you’ll tell me where you’re going. You chose your words very carefully, Damon.”
“I did say when we’re married, because we will be—very soon. To answer your question, I meant exactly what I said. Marital communications have special privileges.”
“Ah, I see. Marital privilege—I can’t be compelled to testify against you. How romantic.”
“It is, actually. That little clause ensures I get to come home to you every night and perform my husbandly duties. So, if you want to know all my secrets, you know what you have to do to get me to talk. Until then, I’ll be glad to use my tongue for your pleasure in other ways.”
7
CHAPTER SEVEN
Damon
When we stepped into my apartment, Jillian glanced around the large, open room and released a long sigh. She walked toward the master bedroom and stopped in the entryway, leaning against the doorframe. I watched as she stared at the king-size bed, memories of her last visit no doubt still fresh in her mind. Old wounds that hadn’t yet healed. Doubts about how she’d handled the situation and if everything could’ve turned out differently still haunted her thoughts. Only, standing in my home made all her bad dreams very real all over again.
“Does looking at my bed bring back old memories—or give you all new ideas?” I stole up behind her and wrapped my arm around her waist, holding her tight against my body. She couldn’t hide the shiver that ran through her body under my touch.
“Both.” She tried to make her voice sound forceful, bold. But her breathing gave her true feelings away. “If you still have my favorite knife, we can create all new memories.”
I smiled at the back of her head over her bravado, but only because I knew she couldn’t see how proud I was of her spunk. If she wanted to push my buttons, I’d allow it. Without saying a word, I slowly slid my hand up the center of her body, across her perfect stomach, intentionally brushing across her breasts. Then when I’d almost reached her throat, she wasn’t ready for my quick reflexes. With my hand securely wrapped around her neck, I spun her around to face me while pushing her body backward with my forward steps.
When her back bumped into the wall, her wide eyes searched mine, looking for clues to discern my state of mind. Had she angered the mad beast, or had she triggered the sexy, dominant side?
“Do you think I’ll allow you to speak to me that way, Jillian? Do you think I’ll tolerate disrespect in my own home?”
I hid my amazement as I watched her spine straighten, her eyes harden, and her jaw set firmly in raw determination. “If you think I care what you’ll allow or what you’ll tolerate, you’re out of your damn mind. Whether I’m in your home, your mama’s home, or out on the fucking sidewalk, I will always say whatever I want to say. And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”
My smirk broke free, regardless of how hard I tried to hide it. She visibly relaxed when she realized I wasn’t being completely serious. “That fucking mouth of yours…the things I would love to do to it.”
She returned my smirk with a provocative, confident one of her own. “You wouldn’t dare try—”
Before she could finish her taunt, I crushed my lips to hers. Surprise stilled her movements for a moment, until I swiped my tongue across the part in her lips. She gasped with need, and I plunged deep into her mouth. With my hands on her face, I controlled her movements, tilting her head to deepen the kiss and keeping her locked in my grasp. I left my leg and used my knee to widen her stance.
The sweet sound of her panting filled the room when I ended our kiss. Our faces were just a breath away, my lips still hovering above hers in an erotic promise of more to come. Literally. “If I slipped my fingers into your panties, would I find your pussy wet for me, Jillian?”
I pressed my body against hers, without leaving enough room for even a hair to fall between us. With an upward surge of my hips, I thrust my hard cock against her clit. Even with all our clothes on, the sensation was enough to elicit a needful whimper from her.
“If I bent you over right here, with your fingers touching your toes, would you already be wet enough for me to fuck you until the most powerful orgasm you’ve ever had made your legs completely useless?”
“Oh my God, Damon.” The breathy plea in her whisper stoked the fires of my desire.
“Tell me to stop and I will.”
Her response was to lean up on her toes, closing the distance between us and locking our lips together in another sensual kiss. She linked her arms around my neck and pulled, lifting her feet off the floor. My hands slid under her bottom on instinct, pulling her up my body until she wrapped her legs around my waist. I ground my cock into her core, feeling her body come apart from the mere thought of what I could do to her.
“The last time we were in that bed…when I held you underneath me…I wanted nothing more than to fuck the stubbornness out of you…until your only thought was of me and what only I can do to your body.” I confessed to my thoughts and desires between kisses, between licks, and between bites on her neck, leaving my mark on her soft skin. “The urge to do just that right now is overwhelming.”
With a sudden jolt, she slid her hands down my chest until she found my erection pressing against my pants. Using both hands, she rubbed up and down my covered shaft before she quickly unbuttoned my pants and wrapped her silky smooth fingers around my cock. “Now, Damon. I want you to fuck me, right here.”
I held her against the wall with one hand and shoved my pants down with the other, letting gravity finish the job. Reaching under her dress, I found she was already wet, her core hot with desire. I pushed her panties to the side and stroked her swollen clit before sliding my finger along her slit. She gripped her legs tighter around my waist and plunged her fingers into my hair, gripping the strands tightly in her fist.
“Damon, so help me God, do it now, or I’ll find someone else who will.”
“The fuck you will.”
“I mean—” She started to argue, but my cock sliding into her wetness halted her words and released a loud scream of ecstasy.
Drawn together like never before, we held our position with our foreheads touching, our eyes locked in heated passion, and an invisible chain wrapped around us while I relentlessly drove deep inside her over and over. The connection I felt to her was stronger than anything I’d ever felt before. The warmth of her sex wrapped around my cock, like velvet hands pumping and squeezing me, was the most addictive drug I’d ever known. Even when my hair became slick with sweat and my legs threatened to give out, I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t ready to separate from the one person who could make me feel so much—too much—everything.
After one very long climax, when her body clenched around me with so much strength I couldn’t hold back another second, I finally gave in and fell over the edge with her. My hips slowed to a purposeful grind as we both came down from the highest high of euphoria I’d ever experienced. My lips sought hers, leaving soft kisses everywhere they landed while I lowered her legs to the ground. Her face had the satisfied expression of a well-fucked woman, nearly boneless and unable to stand on her own.
After that one hell of a reconciliation, I knew our paths had finally merged back into one, and everything else would work itself out. She’d protested, fought against her feelings for me one turn after the other, but I didn’t mind a little cat-and-mouse game, chasing her to show my determination and commitment. I carefully watched her reactions after our impromptu wall-banging for any signs of remorse or shyness and was relieved to see none.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I, doll?”
“No, not at all. That was your best work yet.” The pleased smile on her face warmed my heart, gave me hope she was more than warming up to me again.
After everything that had happened between us in that room, I considered moving our master bedroom to the top level of my expansive apartment to give us both a fresh start. An alternative would be to completely redecorate the current room, giving it a new look, feel, and we could make all new memories in it. Whichever option she chose was fine by me.
As it turned out, I didn’t have to concern myself with either scenario. Not ten seconds after we’d dressed and walked out of the bedroom, Benny was at the door, escorting my dad and my sister into my apartment. And they shared a fucking wonderful idea.
“Hey, big bro.” Carrie stepped into my apartment with a mischievous smile plastered across her face. “How’s it going?”
“Little sis.” I inclined my head in greeting but narrowed my eyes in suspicion. “Dad. What are you two doing here?”
“Heard you had a little trouble down in Louisiana. Abita Springs, isn’t it, Jillian?” Dad lifted her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I thought Damon said you lived in New Orleans.”
Warning: The Complete Series Page 15
