by Marr, Maggie
“What’s it like to be that guy?” Alex asks. A wry smile crosses his face. I don’t know—since both my parents died, and Alex doesn’t know either, but I’d love to be able to carve out a future where Teddy doesn’t have to go work on a fishing boat in Alaska for 9 months so he can pay for his last year of college.
“Thanks man,” I say to Alex. “I’m gonna’ dash. Need to figure this out.”
“Sure thing,” Alex says. “I know you understand what this is gonna’ be like right? It’s…hard and the people can be tough.”
“Kind of what I expected,” I say.
“Right, whatever you think you expect,” Alex says and shakes his head, “Multiply that by a thousand and that’s what this job is gonna be like.”
My heart sinks. For a second I wonder if I’m tough enough, do I want this degree enough, do I love Ashley enough to go through this…to get through this. The answer is really simple, I do.
Alex lifts his backpack. “I’m glad I went because it paid for my tuition and got me where I needed to be, but man, while I was doing it? It was rough.” His eyes tell a story that his mouth isn’t going to say.
“Thanks,” I say. I grab my backpack because I have to go call this guy and get ready because my decision has already been made.
Chapter 21
Ashley
“Hey,” I open my apartment door. Matt stands in the doorway with flowers and a bag of take-out that smells amazing. “What’s the occasion?” I ask. The smile that I love crosses his face. Heat slides through my belly and with that one look on his face, I’m completely wet. He walks in and I take the flowers from him.
“First off because I love you,” he says. He hands me the bouquet and sets the bag of dinner on the counter that runs between the main room and my kitchen, because my new place is just that small. “And second”—he turns to me and folds me into his arms—“there is nowhere I’d rather be than with you.” He presses his lips to the crown of my head. “Not now, not ever.”
I pull back and tilt my head up and look into his eyes. There is a sadness, I haven’t seen before in his eyes. My heart hurts, but I may have a solution to this thing that’s been weighing between us since Jack’s return. My Uncle has barely spoken to either one of us since he got back last week. Not only that, but he’s pretty much either kept me out of the office looking for a new property to expand North American operations into or kept me on the second floor in the office right next door to his. I’ve been told that until they hear back from legal and HR, I’m not even to speak to Matt when we’re at work.
“This week has really been hard,” Matt say.
“Tell me about it,” I round the corner into the kitchen. What can I possibly put these flowers in? Vase? Not a chance. I open a cabinet and lucky for me someone left a giant mason jar. I grab it and fill it with water.
“But I may have a solution.” I unwrap the flowers and slide them into the jar. “Perfect!” I say and set the flowers on the kitchen counter.
Matt stands behind me and presses close to me. His hard cock is pressed against my backside. He places to hands on either side of me and bends down, his lips press to my bare shoulder. My hips press back against him and into the huge hardness that is his cock.
“I want you so fucking bad,” Matt whispers.
He lifts my hair from my neck and presses his lips to my flesh. His other hand reaches up and cups my breast. His thumb strokes over my nipple and it pebbles beneath the fabric. My hips roll up and back and I press back into him.
His finger tugs at the bow of my halter top around my neck and the halter falls down the front of my body. A chill hits my breasts but Matt’s hand covers both breasts and strokes over my soft sensitive flesh. His mouth still works my neck.
I reach back behind me and stroke down over the front of his jeans, I want his cock. I need his huge cock so bad. I grind against him. His hand drops down over my belly and to the front of my shorts. He unsnaps them and his hand skims down into my pants. His fingertip presses through my curls and he finds my tiny swollen nub. He strokes me and I press back against him my hips arching. I grab for his cock, but instead he pushes me forward and my forearms are on the kitchen counter. He pulls my shorts and panties down over my hips and I kick them off. I hear the zip of his zipper and the sound of denim coming off his body. His hand is in my hair and his fingertip still strokes my clit. Once his jeans are off he presses my legs apart with his leg and moves closer to me.
His giant cock presses to the back of my ass. His fingers slide deep into my slit.
“You’re so fucking wet for me baby,” he says.
“I want you inside of me.” I’m breathless and my desire is overwhelming.
“I feel that baby,” he says his fingers moving in and out of my sex slowly ever so slowly. His mouth is right beside my ear and that cock, his cock that is so giant and gives me so much pleasure is right there against the crack of my ass. So close. I can barely stand it. I press my hips back against him. I pull his hand from my breast and slide his finger deep into my mouth and suck.
“Oh baby,” he moans and his fingers slick in my pussy pump faster in and out of me.
“Fuck me, please, fuck me,” I say.
He slides his fingers out of my slit and trails it over my lips. I lick and then suck his fingers into my mouth. He moans and presses me forward. The thick head of his cock edges to the tight ring of my slit. I press my ass back toward him. I am so fucking wet and so fucking turned on. He grasps my hip with his hand and slowly, too fucking slowly, he edges his giant cock up and into my sex.
“Oh yes, yes, yes,” I say and press back. He bends me forward onto the counter and his fingertips circle and press my clit. He pulls back and I’m nearly empty of his giant cock.
“No, please,” I beg. “I..I want—”He presses up hard and fast and my body takes all of his giant cock and I clench around him. “Oh yes,” I moan. He pulls back and presses forward the rhythm of our sex going back and forward, his finger circling and pressing my clit. I’m on the edge.
“Baby, I’m going to come,” he breathes into my ear.
“I’m so close,” I say.
Our flesh slaps against each other as we both lose control. His cock hard and engorged he pauses and my sex contracts taking every drop of him deep into my body. The orgasm pulls us both over the edge.
* * *
“Funny how Chinese food is just as good warm as it is hot,” I say. I hold a scallop in my chopsticks. Matt opens his mouth and I pop the scallop into his mouth. He smiles and chews. After some very hot kitchen sex, we’ve moved dinner and dining to my bedroom. We’re under the covers feeding each other Chinese food and drinking beer out of bottles. “This is perfect,” I say to him. He turns to me and again gives me that smile that makes my heart explode and my sex wet as hell. He leans forward and kisses me.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you too,” I say.
Now it’s his turn to feed me a piece of carrot from the chicken chow mein. I chew and swallow. “So I’ve been thinking about something,” I say.
“Yeah, about what?” Matt asks. He takes a scallop from my Kung Pao Scallops.
“About what you said,” I look at him and I’m smiling but I’m serious and he must see that in my eyes because he focuses on me and his smile slides a little bit from his face. “I…I’m okay with you leaving Bliss Boards,” I say.
“You are?”
I nod. “But I have a condition,” I say. I stir the rice in my meal with my chopsticks. I glance up and look into Matt’s eyes. I sure hope he takes this the right way.
“Okay, what is it?” Matt asks.
“Well, I’m…uh…I’m going to get a bonus when my promotion is official and I’d uh…I’d like to use that bonus to pay your tuition,” I say.
Matt’s jaw drops open and his head tilts to the side. His eyes widen and I see it…I see that he’s processing what I just said and trying to decide what’s the best way to respond to w
hat is a giant gift that I want to give him.
“I…uh….I….” His lips thin and he looks away from me. He shakes his head and then his eyes come back to me. “I uh, can’t let you do that,” he finally says.
“Wait, what?” I say and set down my chopsticks. “Why not?” I cross my arms over my chest. “I mean if the roles were reversed and you were the one with the great job and I had to quit and give up a scholarship wouldn’t you want to help me?”
“Well of course,” Matt says. “I’d do everything that I could to help you,” he smiles at me. “You know that.”
I don’t return his smile. “Then why can’t I help you?” I ask.
“It’s not the same.”
“Why not?” I ask. My fear is turning to a weird mix of anxiety with hints of anger, because I really do need to hear how Matt explains to me that ‘it’s not the same’ because in this explanation, I may very well discover that this guy, the guy that I’ve fallen in love with, isn’t the guy I thought he was.
“Well,” Matt says. “My dream is to take care of you, not for you to take care of me,” Matt says. He stares into my eyes.
Deep breath. My heart is about to melt.
“And while I can appreciate that,” I say, “and damn if I don’t love you even more because of it, my dream is that we take care of each other.”
“Which is what we’re doing,” Matt says. “I mean I’m taking care of you by leaving and you’re taking care of me by staying.”
“And who is taking care of school?” I ask my tone a little sharper than I want.
“I am,” he says. He picks up a dumpling and takes a bite.
“How? What happened?” I ask. Is it possible that my very sexy boyfriend has found a solution for this very sticky problem?
“I’m uh…well I wanted to tell you this when I got here, but things got a little hot,” he says and wiggles his eyebrows. He reaches out with a napkin and dabs the corner of my mouth.
“Well tell me now, have you found a way to pay for school?”
“I have,” he says. “And it doesn’t include hitting my super-successful girlfriend up for a loan.”
“Okay what then?” I say. Because while I absolutely want to help Matt with his tuition, I am a-okay if he has found a way all by himself to pay for his final year of undergrad.
“I am going to work on a fishing boat for a year.”
My heart stops. Not fucking kidding. With the words that come out of his mouth, my heart stops beating. My mouth drops open and I turn to him.
“No you’re not.”
And he laughs. The asshole actually laughs at my reaction. “What? Ash, yes, I am, I took the job today. I’m going to Alaska and I’m gonna’ work for twelve months and when I get back I can pay for an entire year of school.”
I feel like the floor has just dropped away and I’m hanging in thin air waiting to fall. “What? I….I don’t understand,” I press the blankets back on my bed and I stand. I grab for my sweats and my hoodie and put them all on. “How…why would you do this without talking to me? Didn’t you think that you should discuss this with me? That maybe…I mean if you love me and everything…that you should have a conversation with me about moving to Alaska for a year?!”
Matt sits in my bed. His face is stone. His lips are in a tight line and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I have no fucking idea. All I know is that there is a rage that is brewing in my belly and it’s mixed with a giant pain of loss and fear and I can’t seem to get my head wrapped around what Matt just told me.
“I need to do this for me and for our future,” Matt says. He pulls back the blankets from my bed and stands. Dam him and his perfectly muscled body and his perfect ass. He turns and he is out of my bedroom. I grab my robe and follow him. He’s in the kitchen picking up his clothes and putting on his jeans and his shirt.
“Really? For us? And for our future? I just gave you an option that is best for us and our future and instead of saying yes to me helping you, you’re going to leave for a year? To Alaska? To work on a fishing boat?”
He runs his fingers through his hair. “That’s right, so that I can make my own money and pay my own way,” Matt says.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“Not everyone has a rich family member that can help them with school okay? I don’t have an aunt or an uncle or parent that can pay my tuition. I’m on the hook for that. I’m the one who has to find a way to pay for school. I’m not like you or Jorge or—”
“Wait, so you’re lumping me in with a douche who drives a Porsche and lives in Bel Air?”
“No, I mean…of course not.” He lifts an eyebrow and tilts his head, “A beach-front townhouse in Venice is completely different,” He says sarcasm dripping from his voice.
“I don’t live in a beach-front townhouse,” I say, my voice terse, “my uncle does.” I shake my head. I don’t like this side of Matt, the side that seems to have so much pride that he’s unwilling to even acknowledge that everyone needs some help sometimes and that if someone you love offers you help, have the humility to accept it.
“Just so I have this straight,” I say and pull my robe tighter around my body, “I just offered to help you pay your tuition, and instead of taking my help, you’d rather leave me and move to Alaska for a year?” I say. “But I’m the bad guy here? And I’m even worse because I took help to get through school?”
“I…I don’t know,” He says and glances around my apartment. “I just know I have to pay my tuition and this is the way that I can do it.”
“But I just offered—”
“I can’t take your help,” Matt cuts me off. His words are harsh and cold. His eyes are serious and his mouth forms a hard slash across his face. It’s pretty obvious that he’s made up his mind and the decision he’s made does not include taking any kind of help from me.
“I have to go,” he says. He pulls open the front door to my apartment. I stand in the middle of the living room my arms wrapped around my body. This is the moment I feel the tears streaming down my face. I press my fingertips across my cheek. I can’t believe I let him see me cry. That makes me so pissed off. First I offer to help this man that I love and then he tells me no and oh, by the way, I’m running away to Alaska for a year, and now I cry? Damn. There is no way that I wanted him to witness my tears.
“Then go,” I say. I shake my head. If he doesn’t want my help, then I don’t want him here. “If my help isn’t good enough for you then go.”
“Ash,” his voice is softer, “It’s not like that,” he steps toward me, maybe suddenly sorry about how his words and tone and demeanor seemed to me.
“No,” I say and take a step back, away from Matt, his arms, his lips, all of him. “You made it pretty clear just exactly what I mean to you. So go.” I stand there, in the center of my unfurnished living room and while I’m telling Matt to leave what I want…what I really want is for him to close the door and take two strides across the empty room to me and pull me into his arms. To kiss the top of my head like he does and tell me everything is going to be okay. To say thank you, of course I can help him because I love him and he loves me and the last thing he wants to do is move to Alaska and be away from me for a full fucking year because that is absolutely ridiculous and too long to be away from us being together.
But Matt doesn’t do or say any of that. No, Matt does the one thing I absolutely one hundred percent do not want him to do.
Matt walks out of my apartment, without turning around, and he closes the front door.
Chapter 22Matt
I’m not scheduled to work at the shop today. I know from last night, before Ashley and I had our argument, that Ash and Emma are meeting with a real estate agent to look at office space. Part of the expansion plan requires a bigger office. While Ash was still talking about quitting before last night, she doesn’t want to leave Bliss Boards and I don’t want her to either. After last night, when she offered to give me her signing bonus, what I need to
do became crystal clear. What kind of man would I be if I took Ash’s money? How would I ever look Jack in the eye? How would I ever look myself in the eye? I mean that’s Ash’s money. Her heart is in the right place, but I can’t take that kind of help, not from her.
I walk into the board shop and wave to Alex who works the retail area. I take the stairs two at a time up to the corporate offices on the second floor.
“Hey, Matt,” Presley says. “You here to see Jack?”
I nod. My stomach twists and turns. I haven’t spoken to Jack alone since before he came back from Mesquale. The first day he was back he got really upset with me and Ash, and to be honest, I haven’t spoken to him much at all since that day.
“He’s in there, go on in,” Presley says. She cups her hand around her mouth, “And good luck buddy.”
I shoot her a smile. I’m not feeling lucky but I am determined. I open his office door. I’ve only been in Jack’s office a couple times before now. One wall is kind of an homage to his big-wave surfing career. The one that ended when he died—literally died. There are also picture of different celebs he taught to surf. A picture of Ash, that I never really noticed when I was in his office before now.
“Excuse me, Jack?” I say.
He looks up and when he sees me, the smile on his face fades. Not really the reaction you want from your boss when you come to talk to him.
“Hey Matt,” he says in what is a professional voice. “Come in and sit down.”
I don’t sense any ill-will directed at me but there is kind of this discomfort. I guess he’s trying to figure out what I’m going to say. Am I here to make a pitch as to why I should stay at Bliss Boards, why I should get my scholarship, why Ash should remain here even if we continue dating?
“That’s okay,” I say. “I don’t really need to sit for this.” I stand across from his desk and look at him. The guy, who a year ago, did me a huge solid by giving me a job when I had no experience and really needed it.
