“No, but there’s a change of plans.” Tanyon headed back toward home but passed the side road when they got there. Instead, he drove toward the Grand Canyon. He’d rather fight traffic than her. He needed a cool down and still didn’t know why. The drive would help.
She folded her arms and stared out her side window. What could she be thinking? Ten miles later, he couldn’t stand the silence. “Whatever happened to your mom and the kids coming?”
“Their trip will be delayed. Mia had something come up. They’re still coming, but not right away. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you.”
“That’s too bad.”
“It’s a good thing if she wants to be involved with her friends again, but yeah, it is too bad their trip is delayed.” They passed a road sign. “Why are we going to the Grand Canyon?”
Tanyon shrugged.
“Dammit! Turn around. You are one confusing man. I don’t think this night can be salvaged.”
“What were you expecting?”
“Dinner. That’s what the invite said. That’s what pointing to your watch on my way to the trail ride, said. And what you told Max.”
“And we have dinner with us. All we have to do is eat it, woman.”
Karis rummaged through her purse then tossed it to the floor by her feet. “I swear, if I had my phone, I’d tell you to pull over right now.”
He pulled to the side and skidded to a stop. “Is this what you want?”
She released her seat belt and tried opening the door. She fiddled with finding the right unlock button but kept rolling the window up and down instead. “Unlock it!”
He pulled back onto the road. “I’m not leaving you out here alone. Dammit. What do you want from me? Why the hell did you come back here?” He lifted both hands from the steering wheel and grabbed his head. “Crimminy, you make me crazy!”
“Steering wheel! I told you what I want and why I came back. It was senseless. You’ll never forgive me. Please take me back.”
“It could’ve been our home by now!” Oh, shit. Tanyon’s heart raced as fast as the truck motor. “I’m not wasting this food. Calm down. We’ll stop up ahead.”
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down. I had a reason for my grief. I couldn’t handle anything else. I couldn’t. I couldn’t, damn it! It’s my job to help people, and I couldn’t help myself. I’m a weak ass—”
“Stop.”
She brought her hands to her face. “I wish you’d get it. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry. So sorry. How many times do I have to say I’m fucking sorry?”
Tanyon glanced at her chest rising and falling. “Hook your— Sonofabitch!” He shot his arm over, slamming his foot against the brake pedal. He couldn’t hold her. She hit her head on the dashboard. His seat belt locked up against his chest. Tanyon gripped the back of her blouse, all passing in slow motion in his head.
He brought the truck to a stop inches away from a deer frozen in shock in the middle of their lane who then slowly meandered off and disappeared. His breath hitched, but he found it in his senses to move to the side of the road and turn on flashers. His throat had gone dry. He gulped trying to swallow. Karis held her head. “Are you all right?”
Crying, she muttered, “I don’t know.” She sat back slowly and lifted her hand away. “I’m bleeding.”
Tanyon switched on the interior light to see better. “Sonofabitch.” He pulled off at a side road and drove up a little farther from the highway then got out and searched for a clean rag, but he didn’t have one. He took off his shirt and went around to her door, opened it, and escorted her out and away from the side of the road. He pressed his shirt against her forehead. “I can’t tell if you need stitches. How do you feel?” Her white skirt had blood on it too.
She shook her head no and took the shirt, brushing his hand away. She wiped blood off her hand. “I’m sorry I ruined your dinner.”
Tanyon pulled her into his arms. “I ruined everything by myself.” Her blood soaked into his t-shirt. What had he done now? He moved in front of the truck for better light to examine her head in the setting sun and headlights. “I believe we can butterfly this. It’ll be fine unless you want to go to the emergency room. They’ll do a better job, and you won’t have much of a scar.”
“I don’t care if I have a damn scar.”
He led her away from the road and truck and told her to wait there. He removed a First Aid Kit he’d kept there for the times they used this truck for working on fences and removed butterfly stitches. He returned and handed her a flashlight then held her hand up to point light on the wound to see what he was doing. He dabbed at the slash again then applied the butterflies. “This will be all right for now. We’ll take another look when we get home. How you feeling? Be honest.”
“I’m fine. I’m fine. Get away from me.” Ignoring her stubbornness and anger, Tanyon escorted her back to the truck and helped her inside, but she shrugged away from him again. He spotted keys that had fallen from her purse onto the floor. He nonchalantly grasped them, slipping them into his front pocket. By now, without hearing it, she had to be thinking of taking off the moment they got home.
How could he blame her? But he didn’t want her sneaking off after a head injury. Hell, he didn’t want her sneaking off at all. Tanyon brought her seat belt around her, getting a whiff of the sultry perfume. He slipped his arm around her, drawing her against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Her breathing increased at his words. She hadn’t pulled away. He held her a moment longer. Tanyon closed her door then eased in behind the wheel. “Do you want to go home, or are you okay enough to keep going?”
She pressed his shirt against her nose and closed her eyes. “I don’t want to go back.”
Off the side road, he headed toward Historical Route 66. Why had he acted like a damn teenager? Look what he’d done.
“I said I didn’t mind.”
“It’s all right. We aren’t going home.” At least this way they’d be closer to a doctor if the need arose. “You could have a concussion.”
“Why do you care? I’m leaving for sure this time. A night like this can never happen again. You’ve made your case and now I understand. There will be no going back for us. Be happy now. I get it.”
“Karis—”
“Save it.”
Chapter Seven
When they got closer to the ranch, Karis rummaged through her purse. Tanyon pulled off the road and got out. Oh, no. What’s he up to now? Her gaze followed him to the gate he opened. To dine here had been his original plan tonight. Regardless, she wouldn’t let herself remember what happened the last time. She opened her purse again to get a pain reliever, took one, and swallowed it down with water. Her head ached like hell.
He got back in, spotting the bottle of pain relievers on her lap. “Did you hurt anything else in that mishap back there?”
“I don’t think so.” She twisted her head side to side and up and down in a stretch. Her neck and shoulders hurt.
He massaged the back of her neck. How had he found the exact spot? “It wasn’t necessary to come here.”
“I don’t know if you are or not, but I’m starving.”
“What did you bring?”
“Boring sandwiches. They’ll be all right. They’re in the cooler in the back seat. You smelled barbecued ribs but there’s no law against eating them cold.”
“Why did you come to this spot? It’s a slim chance they’ll be a do-over.”
“Come on. Stop that talk.”
“If you came here to get lucky, forget it. I’m not in the mood.”
“It isn’t. Not all of what you’re thinking, anyway.” He got out and hauled the cooler into the bed of the truck, then came back to get a thick sleeping bag.
She rolled her eyes, which made her forehead hurt where the butterflies pulled tight against her skin.
He opened her door. “Come on.”
Karis sighed but got out anyway, brushing his hand off her shoulder. She hiked up her skirt with one
hand, ready to hop up to the tailgate, but he swooped her up and lifted her inside. This night hadn’t come close to what she envisioned a few hours ago. Being here was senseless. She’d come to the realization that he couldn’t, wouldn’t take her back. It was time to move on. This was her last night on the Two-Five Ranch. The last night ever. She took a seat with her back up against the cab end of the truck bed.
She peered upward. The moon lightened the sky but not enough to cover the brightest stars. The big dipper remained visible. The evening temperature was mild for an early summer night though the metal against her back was cold, causing a shiver.
“Look,” he said, pointing skyward. “There’s Saturn rising.”
Big deal. “Uh-huh.”
“You have a choice—turkey or ham sandwiches from the deli. I hope they aren’t soggy by now.”
He brought out the sandwiches, coleslaw with what smelled like a vinaigrette dressing, a bag of chips, chocolate chip cookies, and paper plates and napkins. Then the ribs. The night might’ve been different if they had people around them instead of his idea of being alone, but it would’ve been so much better if he hadn’t asked her out at all. Then he could be all alone with no one to argue with but himself.
She wouldn’t have had butterfly stitches on her forehead right now, albeit she’s the one who hadn’t hooked her seat belt. He handed her a fork for the coleslaw to share from the container. “You didn’t need to do this. It’s been obvious since we hit the highway that you’d rather not be with me.”
“Turkey or ham? I ordered enough for us to have both with leftovers.”
Her stomach grumbled. Stubbornness wouldn’t fly tonight. She’d eaten a light lunch so she’d be hungry by the time dinner came around. She chose a turkey sandwich. “Thank you.” She unwrapped it while he unwrapped a ham sandwich. It wasn’t soggy even with mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and avocado. In fact, it tasted good on the ciabatta bread. She piled chips onto her plate.
Tanyon hopped over the side of the bed to get something out of the truck then a cork popped. He handed her a glass of red wine and a pillow to put behind her back then tossed one in for him. He slid the rear window open then the radio came on. Karis looked upward again. The stars faded into the mammoth moonlit sky. A light breeze blew through the red oaks, maples and boxelder trees, and the Ponderosa pines, fir, and spruces. Their fragrance subtly scenting the air. Far off, but not too far, cattle communicated in contented bellows.
She wanted her bed, but it’d be a while before that happened. She’d hightail it out of here once and for all when he went to bed tonight. Of all nights, why had one of the songs from a favorite movie come on the Sirius XM station? Tears welled. Karis forced down the bite of coleslaw she’d taken and set down her fork. A person unfamiliar to this area wouldn’t be able to sit amidst cattle smells and eat. She brought her hands to her face, unable to stop the tears from falling.
Tanyon got out of the bed and tapped her shoulder. “Stand up.”
“I don’t want to. Leave me alone,” she said sniffling and hating it when she sounded this way. Stop crying like a baby.
He got back in, lifted her, and hopped off the tailgate with her cradled in his arms. He set her feet on the ground, held her, and began dancing. She struggled to get out of his arms, but he would not let her go.
“Stop fighting me,” he whispered softly.
“Let me go. I’ve accepted it’s over. I’m only crying because, “Up Where We Belong” is one of my favorite songs from a movie. I don’t need a love song tonight.” She pulled her hand away from his and pressed her palms against his chest to distance herself.
“I know what movie it’s from and why you like it. It played in the background at the hotel in Flagstaff the first time we made love. I watched the movie beginning to end after you ditched me.”
Thanks, but no thanks for the reminder.
“Don’t cry over me. I’m not worth it.” He cupped her face and kissed her forehead beside her wound. Then he took her hands and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hold me. I need you to hold me, honey.”
“No, you don’t,” she whispered. “It’ll only turn bad tomorrow.”
“Be quiet. Yes, I do.” He wrapped his arms around her and moved in dance slowly, holding her intimately.
He held her so tight she had to lay her head against his chest and sway with him in the tall grasses. His hands slipped lower and rested against her rear end. He pulled her in against his body. “You need to stop,” she demanded.
He caressed her back with gentle strokes and lowered his face to kiss her neck. “I can’t. I want so badly to fall in love with you again. Help me.”
Oh, was there any hope left? “I’ve tried.”
“Try. Harder.”
She spoke in a shaky voice because his closeness got to her now. “You have to find your own way, Tanyon.”
“This helps.”
Everything inside of her willed her to stop dancing and bag up the food to go home.
Pack her clothes.
Drive away.
Stop loving him.
But against her will, she held him tighter and pressed closer into him until the song ended. They stopped moving. She lifted her head. “You know when you’re alone and start thinking again, the same thing will happen. It’s easy for you to say this while you’re here holding me. My heart can’t take this anymore. We both know it isn’t going to work. I ruined us. We lost each other, and I’m to blame.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed and Tanyon gulped. “I’m to blame. I don’t want to lose us. I tried to keep shoving the feelings down. Being close to you… I don’t want to say the words you want to hear, yet, but…but I need you.”
Now Karis stood conflicted. As she’d said, the words came easy while he held her, but tomorrow his anger and hurt would take precedence, and they’d be back to square minus one. She couldn’t. He lifted her face to meet his eyes. Oh, his wistful gaze with moonlight shining in them held so much of their past. She shivered. “Let’s put the food away.” She broke away and got in the bed to wrap the food.
Tanyon got in behind her. “Sit down a minute?”
She sat back in the same spot up against the cab, shivered again, and brought the light blanket over her legs. She wanted the inevitable to come to an end—the agony of loving him to stop. He got his denim coat out of the backseat and draped it around her shoulders. She slipped her arms into the sleeves, snuggling into the jacket she pulled around the front of her. Mmm, it smelled sooo good, like him.
“Did you hear anything I said a minute ago?”
She chose her words carefully. “If I have to help you to love me, what is the point? It’s something you have to do yourself.”
“I want to get over the hump. This stubborn hump that prevents me from giving myself. You know I’ve loved you.”
“Then what is the point of tormenting both of us? It’s obvious. You haven’t kissed me. You hold me, and are…aroused by me, but you haven’t been able to let go of the anger.”
“If I kiss you…”
She held her breath a moment before blowing it out. “If you kiss me?”
He sighed. “I can’t.”
He can’t kiss me? “Do I have bad breath?” She held in a chuckle because that was the last thing she’d been in the mood to do.
“No.”
“If you think kissing me is a bad thing then you haven’t accepted the truth.”
“The truth is I want to lay you down right here and make love to you until I get back what is lost.”
“Okay…” What had she said? “I didn’t mean it. It’s the last thing we need to do.” She lifted her hand to her forehead where a headache throbbed.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Yes.”
Tanyon shoved the cover off her legs and brought her to his lap, her skirt raising above her hips. She closed her eyes. His response to her sitting on his lap was obvious. How she wanted him. He moved his jacket away from the f
ront of her and lifted the hem of her top to caress her breasts. Her betraying breath increased at the warmth of his touch.
“Do you mind if I release the hook on your bra?” he asked as he flicked it apart.
He slid his hands underneath. Mmm. She closed her eyes. His rough-skinned hands against her flesh excited her—gave her the same excitement she’d remembered. Wanted. She opened her eyes when he slid his hand up her thigh. His finger moved her panties aside. She gasped while their gazes connected. Her breath held as she accepted the pleasure. Karis opened her mouth, her heart pumping faster. Ooohhhh.
He tenderly kissed up and down her neck and throat. “Remember what happened the last time we were here?”
“I’ll never forget,” she answered, lost to the heat overtaking her sanity. He’d remembered what it took to fill her body with desire.
“You’re almost there now,” he whispered with swoon in his voice.
“Yes.” She shamelessly pleaded for more. Karis tossed her head back, panting with pent up breaths through a climax that hadn’t been imagined. Her whole body experienced the roll of pleasure. A moment later her senses returned. She didn’t object to them scooting down to lie side by side. Tanyon eased on top of her, hiking her skirt up. He undid his belt and jeans. Hot and needy, she waited while he fumbled with his zipper. Hurry.
Her mind dawdled in a fog of uncertainty, yet it was too late for a decision to be made when the answer became clear. She wanted him, even if it was the last time. She needed him tonight.
She slid his jeans farther down and yielded as he sank into her. Gasping, she clenched the back of his t-shirt as he made love to her, slow and passionately, expertly. Each movement he made brought pleasure, each thrust, each near exit, but she wouldn’t allow it. She wouldn’t allow him to pull out at the last minute, but he didn’t try and pressed his teeth against her shoulder in a moaning release. She cried out too.
“Sweetheart…baby that was good.” Tanyon cradled the back of her head. His breathing came in ragged sighs. His heart beat erratically against her chest.
She held him. Held him with every ounce of strength she owned. How could she let him go? But wait. Then… “What have I done?” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “Omigod. What have I done?” She couldn’t do pregnancy right now.
Imprisoned In A Cowboy's Heart (Two-Five Ranch Outlaws Book 1) Page 10
