by Bailey Dark
Chapter 13
Kane
She nears, I can feel her. Through the ups and downs, through the waves of dreams and desires, the fears and torture, I am beginning to pick up on that sense of when Briar is close. I try to shield that fact from Drogaem, though without my body I'm unsure of just how to do that. My shadows no longer belong to me, at least while I'm trapped in this void, and I must rely on my own soul to be stronger than my physical body was. Each and every time Briar is close by, there's a strength that swells inside of me. A clarity to my mind that only lasts while she is there, but gives me the chance to think for just a moment.
The emotions that trickle around me are confusing. I can taste the sweet delicate flavor of my Briar mixed with the anger and revenge of Drogaem. I feel everything he feels but I can separate it from myself very easily. They are familiar feelings as I once felt them as well. Living within the castle walls, fighting my urges against Lilith, and deep down, no matter how much I tried to deny it, desiring a connection like the one I found with Briar. She is my bride, and the only one I know can pull me from this. I feel it surging and bubbling inside of me. I need to grow stronger so that I may reach through this void and speak to her, even if only for a moment.
Drogaem has stopped allowing me to see her. He has stopped giving me windows to the outside world. He is doing something, something powerful drenched in darkness, and I fear that through it he will return to his former glory, if not more. Where that will leave me, I don't know, but if I hold on for nothing else it's to spare the life of my bride. Our soul bond is still there even if it is clouded by the tricks and masterful disguises of Drogaem. If I die, if my soul ceases to exist, so shall hers.
There is no solace in the lack of existence. There is no sweet ending to never seeing Briar again. There is no satisfaction in knowing that Drogaem will destroy the very world that I call home. No one is safe around him, not even Briar. I know there is a reason he hasn't killed her yet, but I cannot sense that he knows about the soul bond. The last time I saw Briar she didn't know either, not to the fullest extent anyway.
My soul hovers quietly within the darkened space, my mind no longer attached, my consciousness no longer manifesting a body that I do not need. My energy doesn't wane as fast when I am like this, but it takes some getting used to. A heat begins to bubble in my soul, and I shield myself as best as possible from Drogaem. I know that Briar is here, close to me, just inches away from my darkened void. I'm frustrated, never having been put in a situation where the answer is within reach, but I do not have the ability to grasp it. I am Death, the guide, the keeper of the souls, a member of the Three. I am one of the most powerful beings in the Underworld, and beyond, yet I still cannot break free from this prison.
I call my consciousness, letting the power of Briar seep into me, let it expand over me, and harness it, waiting for the perfect moment where I reach full capacity. I know I need to hurry, as many lives depend on it. But more than that, I need Briar, I need her safe, I need her close. If I fail at this, there is no place in any shadow that I will be able to hide from the guilt that blankets me.
* * *
Briar
I can sense the deep stench and evil of whoever lurks within Kane as I enter back into the castle. I see him ahead, speaking with one of the servants, his face turned into a frown. He glances over, catching my eyes, and swishes his hand at the servant to shoo him away. I swallow hard as I meet him halfway, pressing my hands together in front of me and bowing my head to him. The anger seems to simmer a bit as I pay him reverence, something he has suddenly decided is important.
"Where have you been?" I could tell he is holding back an attitude.
I smile at him nervously as I reach into my bag, grasping a small trinket I picked up on the way out of the city. I knew that it might come in handy, give me an alibi for where I had been. I pull it out and open my hands, showing it to Kane. "I went to the city. I wanted to find you a gift, something that showed my appreciation for us."
His eyebrow raises and he takes the miniature crystalline horse from my hand. I watch his reaction, thinking back to the horses that we rode when we made our way across the Underworld. The connection I had with the horses was the first real connection I truly felt since I left the mortal world. Kane, in his right mind, will know that.
He holds it up in his palm and his lip snarls. I watch as the horse disappears from his hand, turning to dust. I don't give him the satisfaction of a frown or sad face. I simply shrug and go to move past him. "I'm sorry you don't like it."
I hear a groan deep in his throat and he grabs my arm, yanking me toward him. Our bodies pressed together, and for a singular moment I feel the heat that I once felt with Kane, but that quickly dissipates. His hands are soft, something that Kane has never had. His skin is warmer than Kane's normally is, and the connection is still not there.
I keep the grimace off of my face as he presses his nose against my cheek and runs his lips down my throat. As he comes back up, he hovers next to my ear breathing heavily. Normally, this kind of attention from Kane would send me over the edge. I wouldn't be able to withhold my hands from his body. I would want him near me, on me, not stopping. But feeling this different breath, this icy stillness around us gags me. My stomach turns and I search for that small hope of a flame that I've sensed within Kane since we arrived back in the Underworld. I can still feel it, it's so faint, but I focus on it trying not to feel his lips on my body, his hands on my hips, those fingers digging into my flesh.
He pulls back just slightly from my ear and whispers to me. "All I want is you… on your knees."
Goosebumps pop-up across my skin but they aren't the kind that make me want to take off his clothes. He doesn't read it like that, he reads it as an invitation for more but all I want to do is get away from him. What would've been sexy with Kane, erotic, forbidden even, is terrifying and nauseating coming from the new Kane. It's even more evident to me that this person that I cling to is not the person that I am falling for very quickly.
Everything in me wants to bolt, take off and make a run for it. But I know that I can't.
The closer I get to Kane, the true Kane, the less I'm willing to run. Maybe it's a stupid hope, maybe it's something I'll never achieve, but where I am, there's only one choice, either give up and live this mundane existence, waiting until one day when he completely dissolves my soul, or hold on to hope that the Kane I know is in there and is fighting to get back to me.
It sounds romantic and ridiculous, but I need it. I need Kane, not this fraud of a God. So, I breathe in deeply, ignoring the fact that he doesn't even smell the same as he used to, and put a smile on my face, taking every whisper of his lips with a grain of salt. I push back my fears, knowing Kane would do the same. The old Kane would wait, truly wait for me, and see if the woman I have become is truly the woman that I am. Sooner, rather than later the truth will show itself and I will have to face the music. And whether it's because I've allowed myself to be destined for the life I always imagined this would end up as, or because I figure out what or who is commanding Kane, the result will be the same.
As I focused harder on that small twinkling essence of a flame deep beneath the layers of the monster that prowls around me, I feel it grow. It's only slightly, but I feel it. Kane doesn't change the way that he reacts, and he doesn't stop himself from running his hand up my thigh. But in there I can tell he still lingers.
My hand comes down and grabs his wrist, I turn my face, my lips just inches from his. I give him a keen smirk and step away. "Now, now, behave yourself Kane. You don't want to ruin our wedding night."
I wink at him with a grin and turn, walking back toward the hallways that lead to my chambers. As soon as my face is away from his, I drop my smile, and my teeth immediately clamp together. I feel as if I need a shower, a bath that will wash away the screams that still echo in my head from the mortals trapped below. I need answers, and my dreams are just sections and fragments of the past. I can't figure
them out. It's like a puzzle missing pieces. No matter how hard I try, I can't control this magic, but I know that in order to be the Queen that I need to be to Kane, and not the asshole Kane, but the flicker of hope and warmth beneath him, I need to start working on it, and I need to do it fast. If I'm as strong as I think I am, that will only fuel my fire. That strength will only take away some of the fear that I have of this man that I don't recognize anymore.
I had no choice in who I marry, and no choice in the rest of my life, but I will make a choice with how I lead and walk through it. I will fan the flame that is buried deep within my groom, and by the time I'm done, I know I'll have my answers.
Chapter 14
Drogaem
Standing in my office, I ball my fists and lean forward, resting on the desk. My body is tense and I can feel it getting tired. I don't care how hard I push Kane's body, it will mean nothing to me in the end. I will have my body back and it will be better than ever. The problem is, no matter how seductive she tries to be, or how keen she is to the details, I fear that Briar is working against me. I don't know how she's doing it, or if she even knows she is, but the thought of defeat lurks in my dreams and I shudder at the idea that a mere mortal could get in the way of my plans.
I have been pushing her to work on her magic, but one thing I cannot allow is for her to recover her memories, or the memories that belonged to Lux. They are the key, the answer to all the questions she has probably thought of. If she understands, she will be able to control everything. There is no way that I can let that happen. I need to have complete control over her, no matter what.
I walk around the desk and open the top drawer, pulling out a small vial of blue liquid. I hold it up in front of my face and smirk. I've been working on a serum that blocks Briars visions and even some of her powers. With the way that she's been acting, I thought perhaps it might be hard to even get it into her system, but I haven't had to resort to anything violent, unfortunately. The girl is still a mortal, and prone to distractions and fits of fancy. I see it in her every day. She is careless with the things that she does and her lies are easily seen through.
Nonetheless, the serum will help head these issues off before they begin. The bell tolls overhead in the castle, signaling dinner. I have requested a small party for dinner, just me, Willem, and Briar. Willem has been more useful than I thought he would be. He keeps to himself, doesn't give opinions, and just does what I ask. I feel as if I can trust him to a certain extent. But he is a Reaper, and he is Kane's best friend so I don't expect that loyalty to last once I retrieve my body and take over the Underworld. No matter though, he can perish with the rest of the souls that refuse to go along with what I want. I will not be trifled with, no matter who comes at me.
Leaving my office, the servants scatter and I lurch down the hall to the dining area. When I walk in, both Willem and Briar stand tall, nodding to me. I nod back at them and take a seat, not even looking up as they scoot their chairs in. This time I sit as close to Briar as I can without looking suspicious. The vial of serum rests in my palm and I glance around the room for something to point her attention to. Up above the doors there is a carving, something I bet no one in the current Castle staff knows anything about.
I point up at the etching. "Do you see that? That etching was placed there by Drogaem and his younger brother, when he was still alive. They were being mischievous."
As I expect, Briar turns and looks with a smile. As she does, I hover my hand over her glass and pour the serum into her wine. It's tasteless and odorless so she hasn't noticed up to this point that she's been drinking it. As I stick the vial back in my pocket before she turns to me, my eyes meet with Willem and I can tell that he sees what's happening. My face straightens and my eyes go dark, glaring over at him, silently challenging him. If he wants to protect the little mortal then he will have to do it at his own demise. No matter how much Kane's best friend wants to protect the girl, I can tell he is more of a self-preservation kind of Reaper.
It's best that he listens to what I say, as I will squash anyone who stands in my way. The following days and weeks are going to change the very essence of the Underworld, and I will once again return to my former glory. What I won't do is let some reaper and his pet mortal stand in my way of it.
* * *
Briar
Pretending to be amused by conversation made at the table is something I'm a pro at. Growing up I was taught the art of conversation. I was taught when to say something and when to look completely amused even though most likely what they were telling me was boring. Kane doesn't seem to notice. I give him my best interested look as I stare up at the etchings above the door. Surprisingly, I never noticed the three x's carved with an obvious blunt object, hovering over the doorframe.
We eat in silence, and I make sure to get my fill. Earlier I had begun to think about all the things that Kane could do to torture me, and seeing that I'm human, he knows that I need to eat. I'm not sure if he and the others actually have to eat, or if they just enjoy food. For me, I'll die without it. Prior to this night, I picked at my food, pushed it around with my fork, ate a few bites here and there, but not anymore. I didn't want to be stuck already starving and end up being tortured by starving to death. That's a long drawn out death.
When we are finished, I guzzle the last of my wine and set the chalice down on the table. I look at my cup curiously. "Did we get a new kind of wine? I thought that we made it here at the Castle."
Kane forces a smile and I know it's fake. "I wanted to try something new. It's a little bitter isn't it?"
I shrugged. "Whatever you like, I'll be fine with."
Willem puts his napkin on his plate and scoots back, standing up. "If the two of you will excuse me, I have other things to attend to. Let me know if you need anything."
Kane nods and puts his hand out to me. "Why don't you come with me. We can talk and walk."
I don't like the sound of it, but I smile anyway and nod, reaching my hand over and taking his. He grips it tightly all the way down the table and pulls me close as we exit the dining hall. I let him steer me, knowing full well where we’re going. We head back through the castle, past all of the pictures and knickknacks, and libraries, and down the darkened hallway to the stone steps. Several guards stand watch, not allowing anyone else through. As we begin to descend, he starts to speak. "Have you been feeling all right? How have your dreams been?"
In all honesty, it is the first time I have thought about it in several days. I'm so wrapped up in my work to get my version of Kane back, I forgot about the visions. When I have them, I don't think it's possible to forget about them. They are blinding, scary, and they confuse me. But I suppose as I'm growing my powers and I'm focusing on Kane, my mind is building a wall around them. Before, I could feel the walls that I built, struggling with them, but if it is a wall keeping my visions and dreams out, I can't tell it's there. I don't really want to put too much thought into it though, I'm glad they've stopped, at least I have a break from it.
"I'll be honest, I haven't had any more," I told him.
He nods his head with an approving look and helps me down the last few steps into the crypts. I pause, hearing the whimpers of the mortals ahead. In some ways I'm glad to hear them, as that means they are still alive. In other ways, it pains me. He feels my hesitation and tugs harder on me, gripping me tightly enough to show me that he's in control. I stand away from them, the lights brighter where they are this time. There are bruises on their faces, and one of the men has a laceration up his leg, the flesh open, the blood caked down his pant leg.
"Why did you bring me here again?" I ask him, knowing full well it's a test. Either that, or he just enjoys torturing me.
Kane smiles and stands at the foot of Drogaem's corpse. "When the time is right, I want you to help me. I want you to infuse this corpse with life. You are my Queen, or you will be soon enough, and it's important that we do these things together to show a connection, to show that we're in this togeth
er."
I don't want to do it. Kane knows I don't want to do it, and that's exactly why he's forcing me. I take a hesitant step forward but I stop. I'm trying to make myself, I want to keep up my spying, but the thought of torturing these mortals is almost too much for me to bear. It's taking everything in me to hold back my emotion. My hands are shaking, my knees are weak, and my stomach is turning.
He marches over to me angrily and puts his hand on the back of my neck, forcing me forward toward Drogaem's body. He brings me to his head and flips the cloth back revealing the dead kings bloated and disintegrating face. The flesh hangs off in chunks and I can feel the dinner that I wolfed down gurgling in my stomach. I latch my eyes closed and try to turn my head away, the smell permeating into my nostrils.
Kane grips my neck tighter. "You have to get used to it! I am your King, and you will do as you're told."
He releases my neck and I stumble backward, turning away. "I will not. Please, don't be so cruel. You cannot ask this of me, now or ever."
Kane throws the cloth back over Drogaem's head and growls. "Fine. But, when the time comes, when I am full and ready, you will watch. You'll watch every single minute of it. You will be here when I do it. I expect not a single whimper from your breast. This is part of being Queen. You do the hard things for the betterment of the Underworld. You do them because I tell you to."
As I stand there, watching him kick at the mortals I can feel something inside of me flickering. There's rage and power, but it's muted. On top of that, I feel Kane's rage, a different type of anger. He walks around the table and straightens the arms of his jacket, letting a smile move over his face. On the surface he looks determined, calm, in control. But the waves of anger rolling off of him tell me something completely different.
