by Karen Booth
Zane made a point of looking at her as though she’d lost her mind. He didn’t want to ask the question out loud, but he wasn’t afraid to suggest it by other means. This entire line of thinking was so off base.
“Honestly,” she continued. “I think you would really like Josh if you got to know him. In a lot of ways, he’s just as much a victim of his dad as you are. None of what happened was your fault, but it wasn’t his fault, either.”
And to think, Zane had been so sure that Allison understood him. Now he knew that he was wrong. So very wrong. “That’s okay. I think I’ll skip the part of this scenario where you whip up some dream of Josh Lowell and me becoming best friends. I realize that it’s your special talent to come up with fantasies.”
“That’s really mean. And completely uncalled for.”
“It’s the truth.”
Allison grumbled under her breath. “You know what, Zane? Screw you. That’s not what I was suggesting. All I’m saying is that I think you need to take a deep breath, try to take a step back and look at this from my perspective. You can’t undo what happened, okay? You need to let it go. I’m sorry, but you do. At some point, you’re going to have to get over this or you’re just going to be stuck forever.”
Zane disliked a lot of things, but he despised it when anyone told him to get over Black Crescent. His entire life had been ground into the dirt by the greed of the Lowell family. He and his parents had been treated like they were nothing, taken for their family fortune and cast aside, with absolutely zero repercussions for those who committed the crime. That injustice sat in the depths of his belly every day. He couldn’t “just get over it.” It was impossible. “I’m not talking about this anymore. You were there for the fallout. You know how badly I was hurt. You saw it firsthand. I not only shouldn’t have to explain it to you, I won’t.”
“I’m sure you’re going to say this is just a cliché, but every black cloud has a silver lining. If Vernon Lowell hadn’t taken off with that money, you and I never would have met. You and Scott wouldn’t have the friendship you have today. Black Crescent isn’t all bad. I wish that you could see that.”
“And I wish you could see why that is beside the point.” He scanned her face, desperate for some sign of the Allison he so adored. Right now, it was hard to imagine he’d dared to think about the future with her. How could he have been so stupid? “I think you should go home.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
Allison whipped back the comforter and grabbed her dress from the floor where it had landed earlier. She threaded her arms through it, wrapped it around her body and zipped it. “You drove me here. I’m not using a ride app this time of night. I’ve heard too many scary stories about women ending up with creepy drivers.”
Zane plucked his pants from the floor and fished his car keys out of the pocket. “Take my car. I’ll get it back from you later.” He tossed them to her.
She caught them, staring down at her hand for a moment. “Oh, right. Zane Patterson, the golden boy, the super successful entrepreneur, has an entire garage full of cars. He has them to spare.”
“That’s right. That’s me. Mr. Perfect.” Right now, he felt as far from that as he’d quite possibly ever felt. If that was what Allison truly thought, she’d lost it. So had his mom, for that matter.
“Goodbye, Zane. I’ll let myself out.” She pivoted on her heel and headed for the bedroom door.
“You knew this was going to happen, Allison. You knew this would be my reaction. Nothing about the conversation we just had should come as any surprise. And you knew it the whole time we were on the island, didn’t you?”
She stopped in the doorway and turned back to him. “I’d foolishly hoped for a better outcome.”
“You don’t understand what this is like for me.”
She shook her head with a pitying look in her eyes. “I do understand it, Zane. And I don’t know what I have to do to convince you of that.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Scott bellowed at the guest room door. “Zane Patterson, I know you’re in there. Get out here. You have some explaining to do.”
Allison pried open one eye and looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. The numbers were a bit blurry, probably because she’d taken a sleeping pill last night after her big knock-down, drag-out fight with Zane. She was only half-awake.
Boom boom boom. Scott pounded on the door. “Up and at ’em, you two.”
Allison scrambled out of bed. She wanted to shut her brother up before he woke up the entire house. She did not want her niece and nephew thinking the worst of her. She opened the door, leaving a space just wide enough to talk to him. “He’s not here. Will you please be quiet? It’s freaking six thirty in the morning.”
“You know I get up early to work out.”
“Good for you. I’m going back to bed.” She left the door ajar and shuffled across the room, flopping down on the mattress. Her motivation was gone. In a lot of ways, it felt like her whole life was gone. She didn’t want to work today. She didn’t want to talk to anyone or go anywhere. She wanted to call in sick to life.
Unfortunately, Scott had followed her into the room and was standing at the foot of the bed. “Why is his car outside?”
“He gave it to me to drive home last night. He has several cars, you know. He gave me an extra.” Last night was still a blur. It had started so amazingly and gone so incredibly wrong. She’d worried that Zane would take the Black Crescent news badly, but she’d underestimated the scope. She’d certainly never imagined he’d toss her out of his house.
“What in the world is going on, Alli?”
Allison sat up in bed and scooted back until she was leaning against the headboard. She blew out a breath of frustration and crossed her arms over her chest. Was she really ready to spill the beans to Scott? This was not going to be a fun conversation. But she had to take what had been handed to her, fun or not. She patted the mattress. “Come. Sit.”
Scott joined her, but she sensed that he was deeply uncomfortable. He was sitting like he had a board strapped to his back. His shoulders were tight, as was his whole face. He had to know what was coming next.
“Zane and I slept together when we were in the Bahamas.”
“I knew it.” He practically pounced on her with his words. “I knew that was going to happen. I warned you, and you just couldn’t listen to me, could you? I’m just the lame older brother who’s too heavy-handed with advice.”
“I didn’t listen because I didn’t want to, okay? Scott, you need to know that I have had a thing for Zane since I was a teenager. We’re talking fifteen years. I always hoped that it would go away, but it just didn’t.”
“What? No way. I would’ve seen it.”
She pressed her lips together tightly. The years of longing for Zane would always bring a sting to her eyes, but they especially did now. “I’m serious. I’m just really good at hiding it. I can always put on a good face.”
“So when you guys were acting so odd at my party, was that part of it?”
“We kissed that night.”
“Ugh.” His voice was rife with disgust. “Did you guys make a plan to meet up at Rose Cove? Has this been in the works the whole time?”
She shook her head. “No. It was just dumb luck, believe it or not.” Now it felt like tragic luck. If it hadn’t happened, her heart wouldn’t be in tatters.
Scott got up from the bed and began pacing. “I love him, but I’m going to kill him. I told him you were off-limits, and he completely disrespected my wishes.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose and made an inward plea for strength. “Will you stop jumping to conclusions and let me talk, please?”
He turned back to her with a distinct scowl on his face. “So talk.”
“When I kissed him, he freaked out. He said he could never betray
you. That’s why he left that night. And it was a big topic of conversation on the island. He refused to let it go. Believe me, Zane put your wishes first.”
“Until he didn’t.”
“Until we didn’t. It was both of us. We both wanted to do it, and we both knew exactly what we were doing.”
Scott grimaced. “Please. Spare me the details.”
Allison rolled her eyes. “I’m only saying that it was two adults doing what adults do. We were in a very intense situation with the storm and I guess that just made everything that much more heightened. As soon as we were rescued, he wanted things to go back to the way they were before.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“So then what happened last night?”
She shrugged. “He had second thoughts, I guess. So we went back to his place.”
Scott held up a hand to keep her from saying more. “Okay. I got it. But I don’t understand. He made you drive yourself home?”
She shook her head. “Unfortunately, I had to tell him about Black Crescent. Things went really well there yesterday and I don’t think it’s going to be a onetime job. Joshua Lowell is putting in a good word for me, and he’s put me on retainer for the next month. I was going to tell you yesterday, but I never had the chance.”
Scott drew in a deep breath through his nose, the gears in his head clearly turning. “What did Zane say? Did he hit the roof?”
“He did. But then it snowballed from there and he just sort of shut down. That’s when he asked me to leave. That’s why I have his car.”
“So what now? Is it over?”
Allison froze as a single tear rolled down her cheek. As upset as she’d been last night, she hadn’t cried. But something about those three words—is it over?—made the dam break. “I don’t know. I don’t want to think that last night was the end, but I just don’t know. He has such a grudge when it comes to Black Crescent and the Lowells. It’s so frustrating.”
“Well, of course it is, but it’s not like there isn’t a good reason for it. The scars you get as a young person are always the ones that feel the deepest. It’s just the way life is.”
Allison had never thought of it that way. She’d never seen a parallel between her life and Zane’s. Until now. Her brother was right. The pain she had from years of Zane being her unrequited love was very real. And there was something about it that had always felt especially raw. She hadn’t been able to start exploring it until the kiss at Scott’s party, but it hit her hardest at Rose Cove. A single “no” from Zane was far more devastating than any rejection she’d ever experienced. “Yeah. I suppose you’re right.”
“And as the person with a front-row seat when his family fell apart, I can tell you that it was incredibly difficult for him. The number of nights we sat up with him talking and me listening? I couldn’t begin to count. I don’t really know that I was equipped to help him through it. All I could do was listen and be his friend. I’m guessing the guy needs some therapy.”
“You’re probably right, but that doesn’t help at the moment. I don’t know what to do to make any of this better, and I hate feeling so helpless. I feel like screaming. Isn’t love more important than any of this? Isn’t it supposed to conquer all?”
Now it was Scott’s turn to remain perfectly still. “Do you love him?”
She nodded, her sadness morphing into conviction to put it all out there with her brother. She had to make this declaration to somebody, even if nothing ever came of it. “I do. The big dumb jerk. I love him. And I don’t know what to say or do to help him get past this.”
Scott sat back down on the bed and took her hands. “This is why I didn’t want you to get involved with him. I never want to see you get hurt.”
Allison saw her chance to finally sort this out with brother, hopefully once and for all. “Scott, life hurts. Love hurts. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and be an observer. I can take care of myself, and if I get hurt, I’ll be okay. Even now, with my heart in twenty pieces, I know that I’ll be okay. I have a good career and great friends and an amazing family I love more than anything. I know you still look at me and see that sick little girl in the hospital bed, but that isn’t me anymore, and it hasn’t been me for a long time.”
Scott’s eyes misted. He was a tough-as-nails guy, but this got to him. “I realize that I was just a kid when it happened, but I’ve never been as scared as I was when you were sick. Never.”
Allison felt like her heart was going to break every time she listened to Scott or one of her parents talk about this. She hated that it was still so raw for them, but they’d all understood that it was a matter of life and death. She’d been too young to understand, but she wanted to believe that she did now. “I know, honey. But I’m fine. I’m here. And you need to let it go.”
He cleared his throat and collected himself. “Just like Zane needs to let Black Crescent go?”
Apparently they all had things they needed to let go of. “Yes. If you can figure out how to make him do that, I’d love to hear your suggestions.” From the bedside table, her phone beeped with a text. Her brain flew to the thought that it might be Zane, but when she consulted the screen, her heart sank with disappointment. It wasn’t him. “Speak of the devil. It’s Joshua Lowell. He wants me to come in to the BC offices this morning.”
“A little early for a work text, isn’t it?”
“Apparently he’s like you. He doesn’t like to sleep in, either.”
* * *
Zane hadn’t slept at all. Not a damn minute. And he couldn’t begin to process what he was feeling. Every time he followed one line of thought, he got distracted by another. He’d start to think about Black Crescent, familiar anger and pain welling up inside him. The fact that his feelings about BC were now tied to Allison made it even more difficult to sort any of it out. Her betrayal ran deep, registering in the center of his chest and causing him physical pain. Allison knew how he felt about Black Crescent. She’d not only witnessed the initial fallout all those years ago, he’d told her everything he was still feeling when they were in the Bahamas. And she hadn’t said a thing. Not a peep. That hurt most of all. They’d made love, and she’d known that what she was doing would hurt him. She’d known it all along.
There was no telling how any of this would work out. When he tried to see his future—the days and weeks beyond now—he still saw Allison there. He’d seen her there last night before everything fell apart, and now in the light of day, she was still there. He didn’t want to imagine tomorrow, the next day or the day after that without her. She’d opened something up in him on the island. She’d done it again last night. It didn’t feel as though he could shut the door on that, even if he wanted to. So how was he going to get past this?
One thing Allison had said last night kept bubbling to the surface—how every black cloud had a silver lining. How BC had ruined one thing, but it had brought them together. It wasn’t all bad, as much as he’d always seen it as such. And Allison in particular was easily the best thing that had happened to him ever. He couldn’t fathom walking away from that. From her. It made no sense.
The realization made his end of the conversation from last night sting. He’d said some horrible things. He’d stupidly let his anger take control, as was so often the case with BC. If he was ever going to move forward in his life, he had to force himself to stop allowing what had happened with BC to define him. He was stronger than that. He knew that. He’d simply let his anger get the best of him.
He had to talk this out with Allison. He had to explain himself to Scott. He had to open himself up to the fact that he’d been wrong about more than a few things. His own mother had proved him wrong yesterday. Allison had done the same with everything she’d said about silver linings. And now he had to talk to her. To find a way through the mess he’d created from years of clinging to anger and resentment. This was
about more than making amends. This was about making a future. He had to find Allison. Luckily, he knew exactly where to look.
He jumped in the shower, hoping a little hot water and soap might help to reset his head. He couldn’t begin to figure out where to start with Allison. There was a part of him that wanted to confess his feelings and hope that would be enough to make her step away from Black Crescent. There was another part of him that wanted an apology. There was yet another piece of his soul that knew he should be the one to say he was sorry. He hated that his feelings were so jumbled out of control. He hated that he couldn’t let everything go after all these years.
Freshly shaven and dressed for work, he drove his Porsche over to Scott’s house. When he arrived, his BMW was parked out front, but Allison’s zippy silver rental was noticeably absent from the driveway. Hopefully Scott had let her put it in the garage. He wasn’t worried that she’d left town. Black Crescent was keeping her here for the foreseeable future. But he was concerned that she might not be home. He wasn’t eager to chase her all over Falling Brook, but he would if that was his only option. He had to sort this out, and the only logical path started and ended with Allison.
He rang the doorbell, then stuffed his hands in his pockets. He’d never before been nervous to arrive at his best friend’s house, and the feeling was unsettling.
Scott flung the door open, sweating profusely and wiping it from his forehead with a towel. “Looking for your car keys, I take it?” Scott’s voice had a cutting edge. His best friend had never before taken that tone with him. He disliked it greatly.
“I’m actually looking for Allison. Is she here?” Zane peered around his best friend. “Can I come in?”
“I don’t know, Zane. Right now, I’m trying to keep from punching you in the face.”
At least Zane now knew that the cat was out of the bag. Clearly, Scott had been briefed on the state of his relationship with Allison. “You know I’ll hit you right back, and then where will we be? Fighting in the middle of your front lawn for all of your fine and upstanding neighbors to see.”
