by Sandi Lynn
“Damn. What I wouldn’t give to go to that. I love Vegas.”
“I just don’t want things to be awkward with us if we’re spending the weekend together.”
“She’ll get over it. They always do,” Logan spoke.
After a few drinks and appetizers, I headed home. Walking into my bedroom and taking off my watch, I noticed Grace’s bracelet she wore last night sitting on my dresser. I picked it up and looked at it. It was one of those Alex & Ani bracelets. It was silver with a guardian angel charm on it. I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent her a text message.
“Hi. I just wanted to let you know that you left your bracelet at my place. I’ll bring it to work tomorrow.”
I set my phone down on the nightstand, changed into a pair of pajama pants, and went downstairs to grab my laptop. When I returned to my room, I climbed in bed and grabbed my phone to see if she replied. She didn’t. Maybe she was sleeping. She didn’t get much last night, that was for sure, and then she ended up in a five-hour surgery on her day off. I sat there with my laptop, thought about her, and wondered if she was on Facebook. I searched her name and found her. As I stared at her profile picture, I couldn’t help but smile. She definitely was gorgeous. In fact, I believe she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I scrolled through some of her public posts. There were pictures of her and some of her co-workers from Manhattan Memorial, and a picture of her and Dr. Knowles. There were also posts that patients posted on her timeline with a picture of them with her.
“Best doctor in the world. I absolutely love Dr. Harper.”
“Doctor Harper is the best! She helped me when all the other doctors turned me away.”
“I’ll always be grateful for Dr. Harper. She saved my wife’s life.”
I clicked on her photos to see if there were any of her and the guy she brutally told off on the phone. Nothing. Not one picture with her and another guy except Dr. Knowles. I closed the Facebook tab, shut my laptop, and went to sleep.
Grace
I called my Aunt Cora to let her know that I changed my number.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Hi, Aunt Cora, it’s me.”
“Grace. What number are you calling from?”
“This is my new number. I had to change it because Sam kept calling and texting me from a bunch of different numbers.”
“That piece of shit. I swear to God, if I ever see him.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“How are you, baby?” she asked. “How is it going in Los Angeles?”
“It’s going okay. The nightmares are back.”
“I figured they would return with you being back there. Is it the same dream?”
“Yeah. The same exact one as always.”
“I think you should talk to someone there, Grace.”
“I’m fine, Aunt Cora. They’ll pass.”
I wanted so badly to tell her about Jamieson, because I always told her everything. She wasn’t only my aunt, she was my godmother and best friend.
“I’m sleeping with a guy here,” I blurted out. “He’s a neurosurgeon at the hospital.”
“Grace, is that such a good idea? I don’t think you’re ready to get into another relationship yet.”
“I don’t want a relationship and I’m not getting into one. Plus, he doesn’t want one either.”
“Sounds to me like you’re using sex with him as a coping mechanism.”
“Are you shrinking me?”
“Maybe. You’ve been terribly hurt, and you’ve just moved back to the place where you experienced traumatic events as a child. You’re escaping, my love. Every time you have meaningless sex with that man, you’re escaping your reality.”
“Aunt Cora.” I sighed. “Why does everything have to be about psychology?”
“Because it’s what makes us who we are, darling.”
“And just for the record, I’d already slept with him in New York on my last night there. We met in a bar and I wasn’t supposed to see him again. I had no idea who he was and that he worked at the hospital here. Imagine the shock on my face when I saw him again.”
“I see. You know, Grace, rebounds never work out.”
“He’s not a rebound, Aunt Cora. He’s just a man who’s amazing in bed and makes me for—” I abruptly stopped.
“Forget your problems? Forget about Sam? Forget about what happened to you there twenty years ago?”
Shit. Ugh. Why did I say that? Why didn’t I just stop at “he’s not a rebound.”
“I get your point.” I sighed.
“Just be careful. You need to heal, love, and having sex with this man isn’t going to heal you. It’s only going to confuse you.”
“I’ll be careful, and I have to go. It’s been a long day and I’m tired. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I ended the call, and within a few moments, my phone rang and it was my Aunt Cora. I narrowed my eye as I stared at her name on my phone.
“Did you forget to give me one other piece of advice?” I playfully answered.
“Actually, the man you’re sleeping with, please don’t tell me it’s Dr. Jamieson Finn.”
“It is. Do you know him?”
“I do. We’ve met on several occasions at Mount Sinai here in New York. Grace, of all—”
“Good.” I cut her off. “Then you know he’s not looking for anything. No relationship, no girlfriend, no wife, no strings, nothing. Just meaningless sex.”
“And why do you suppose he’s like that?” she asked.
“I’m going to take a wild guess and say that he’s not facing reality either? He’s hiding behind a façade of women and sex? Maybe stemming from a piss poor childhood? Mommy issues? Daddy issues?”
“Perhaps. Okay, that’s all I wanted to know. Good night, darling.”
“Wait a minute. You just can’t call me and say that. What are your thoughts? I need to know your thoughts, Aunt Cora.”
“He has a reputation, Grace. But I’m sure you already know that. Men like Jamieson Finn won’t ever change until they work out their own demons. I know you, darling. You’re a good person with a good heart and a lot of emotions. I don’t believe you can just have sex with him and not feel something. Like I said, it’s way too soon for you to be getting involved with anyone, meaningless sex or not.”
“I will take your advice under advisement, Aunt Cora.”
“No you won’t, Grace. I love you. Good night.” She ended the call.
Having a shrink for an aunt and substitute mother was exhausting.
Chapter 18
Grace
A few days had passed, and I hadn’t seen Jamieson at all, which was odd. When I’d call for a neuro consult, his resident, Dr. Rebecca Lasher, would come down to the ER.
“Dr. Lasher, where’s Dr. Finn?” I asked.
“He’s in New York. He’s due back today.” She smiled brightly.
“That’s odd. I wonder why he didn’t tell me.”
“I don’t know. Are the two of you seeing each other?” she asked.
“No. I just thought if he was going to be out of town, he’d at least tell me that he wouldn’t be here when I needed a consult.”
She shrugged. I glared at her as she walked away.
“You’re giving Dr. Finn’s resident the evil eye,” Jackie spoke. “Why?”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are.” She smiled. “She’s pretty.”
“She’s okay.”
“I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering if her and Jamieson are sleeping together.”
“No, I’m not. Like I would care anyway. We aren’t a thing. I’m just a little pissed he didn’t tell me he was going to New York.”
“Why? If you’re not a ‘thing,’ then why does it matter?”
I cocked my head and raised my brow at her.
“Come on, Grace. Don’t. You better not be falling for him. You’ve got that look.”
I grabbed the patient’s chart out
of her hand.
“I don’t have a look and I’m not falling for him,” I spoke as I turned and walked away.
I didn’t like the fact he left without telling me. And I didn’t like the fact that I felt that way. The truth was it felt weird not seeing him. My shift was almost over and I needed a neuro consult on a patient of mine. After paging Dr. Lasher with no answer, I took the chart up to the neuro floor and walked over to the nurses’ station.
“Have you seen Dr. Lasher?” I asked. “I need a neuro consult.”
“I believe she’s in the on-call room,” the nurse spoke.
“Thanks.” I gave a small smile.
I walked down the hallway to the on-call room, and when I opened the door, I found Jamieson and Rebecca in a passionate kiss. Instantly, I felt sick as he turned his head and his eyes stared into mine.
“I’m sorry,” I stuttered. “I thought you were in here sleeping, Dr. Lasher. I need a consult on one of my patients. Please, continue what you were doing. For the record, I’m not sorry that I interrupted the two of you. Dr. Lasher, the next time you get a page, you better damn well answer it.” I put my hand up and then shut the door.
I scurried down the hallway and into the bathroom. I hid in one of the stalls while I tried to catch my breath. Tears filled my eyes as I clenched my jaw, trying to refrain from the screams that wanted to erupt from me. What did I expect? A little respect? From Dr. Manwhore? Ha. I composed myself, stepped out of the stall, and stared at myself in the mirror as I rested my hands on the sink.
I walked out of the bathroom and down to the ER, where I saw Jamieson standing at the nurses’ station.
“There you are. We need to talk,” he spoke. “But first, who’s the patient you need a consult on?”
“We don’t need to talk about anything,” I spoke harshly. The patient is in room five. Mrs. Carrington. Here’s her chart.” I handed it to him.
“Aren’t you going to come with me?” he asked.
I could see Jackie glaring at us from behind the computer screen. She knew something was up.
“Grace, you have a trauma coming in. ETA five minutes. A car crashed into a pedestrian on a bike crossing the street.”
“Sorry. I have a trauma coming in.” I smiled. “You’ll be fine with Mrs. Carrington on your own.”
He shot me a look and walked away.
“What the hell is going on?” Jackie asked in a low voice.
“I just found him and his resident with their lips locked together in the on-call room.”
“So you found out the answer to your question.” She rolled her eyes. “I warned you about him, Grace.”
“Hey, I know. I’m not upset or anything,” I lied.
“Your tone of voice and actions towards him lead me to believe otherwise.”
“Nah. All is good. We had fun and now it’s over. I’m not going to continue having sex with him. I’m done, and the casual thing is over. Is there really a trauma coming in?” I looked at my watch.
“No. I just said that because I could tell you didn’t want to go into the patient’s room with him.” She smiled.
“Thanks, friend.” I grinned.
“Where’s your trauma patient?” Jamieson asked as he walked up.
“They took him to another hospital. Apparently, he refused to be brought here,” Jackie spoke.
“Grace, I need to talk to you.”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Jamieson.”
“You’ve been ignoring my text messages and I want to know why.”
“What text messages? I never got any from you. Oh shit. I changed my number. Remember, you told me to?”
“And you couldn’t give me your new number why?” He glared at me.
“I haven’t seen you.”
His eye steadily narrowed at me.
“You have my number in your phone. You didn’t get a new phone, Grace,” he spoke.
“Actually, I did get a new phone.” I pulled it from my pocket and held it up to him. “Some of my contacts didn’t transfer over, and you were one of them.”
“Well, you see me now. Can I please have it?”
“No.” I scrunched up my nose. “I really don’t see any reason for you to.”
“Are you fucking serious?” he asked in a harsh tone.
“Yeah. Pretty much. I’m not sleeping with you again, and I’m not sure we’re really friends anymore.”
“Why? All because of Rebecca? Are you kidding me?”
He grabbed my arm and led me into the doctors’ lounge.
“Will you let go of me?” I spewed.
“You lied to me,” he harshly spoke.
“Lied about what?”
“You’re starting to have feelings for me.”
I let out a loud laugh.
“Yeah, right. I am not nor, do I have feelings for you.”
“Yes you do!”
“No I don’t!”
“You’re all pissed off about Rebecca. In fact, you’re jealous.” He pointed his finger at me. “Me and you, we aren’t a couple or anything. So you have no right to be upset.”
“I’m not upset. I’m just not going to be another one of your whores!” I pressed my finger into his chest.
“If you recall, you called me that night to come to your place because you were horny! I didn’t initiate it. You did! You specifically told me that you weren’t looking for anything. But clearly, you’ve had a change of heart and you’ve changed your mind. I was stupid enough to think that you were different.”
Anger rose up inside me as I began to lash out at him.
“You think after everything I went through in New York that I’d be racing to get involved with someone!” I spoke through gritted teeth.
“How the hell do I know? I don’t even know what the fuck happened in New York. You won’t tell me!” He held out his arms to the side. “What did he do? Cheat on you? Did you catch him with another woman?”
“We’re done here,” I calmly spoke as I grabbed my purse and walked out of the lounge.
Chapter 19
Jamieson
“Damn it.” I kicked the chair and went up to my office.
“I have time to finish what we started.” Rebecca smiled as she walked into my office. “That’s if you’re available.”
“No. Actually I’m not available and I won’t be anymore. I want you to finish post-op rounds. I’m leaving. Page me if anything comes up.”
I grabbed my briefcase and started walking towards the door.
“What’s the problem, Jamieson?” she asked with an attitude.
“It’s Dr. Finn, Dr. Lasher. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I walked to my car, climbed in, and drove home. When I arrived, I poured myself a scotch and took it up to the rooftop, where I stood against the railing and looked out into the ocean. I did nothing wrong. Fuck it. I didn’t need this shit and I certainly didn’t need Grace.
The next morning, Renata called me into her office.
“You paged me?” I asked as I stepped inside.
She sat behind her desk with a scowl across her face.
“Dr. Lasher came to me this morning and requested to be off your service. She said that she decided neuro wasn’t the path she wanted to go, but I don’t believe her. What the hell did you do?”
I sighed as I took a seat across from her desk.
“I didn’t do anything. If she wants off my service, fine. Put her somewhere else. I’m not going to force someone to stay if they don’t want to.”
“Dr. Finn?” Her brow raised.
“I rejected her advances. Okay?”
“And why the hell would you do that? Are you feeling okay?”
I took in a sharp breath.
“Renata, just put her somewhere else if that’s what she wants,” I sternly spoke.
“What’s going on with you, Jamieson?”
“Nothing. I’m just getting really tired of these women.”
“Damn. I never thought I’d hear you
say those words.” She smirked. “Effective immediately, Dr. Jonathan Becker will be your new resident.”
“Good. He’s a good doctor. Is that all, Renata? I have rounds.”
“That’s all, Jamieson.” Her eye narrowed at me.
I got up from the chair and walked out of her office. I pushed the button for the elevator and when the doors opened, I saw Grace standing there.
“Dr. Harper.” I nodded.
“Dr. Finn.”
We were both heading up to the rooftop for morning coffee. Once the elevator reached the top, the doors opened, and I motioned for her to go ahead of me. Neither one of us spoke a word until we were both paged down to the ER.
“Pile up on the highway,” she spoke.
“We better get down there.”
We took the elevator down to the ER, and when we stepped out, we waited outside for the ambulances to pull up.
“What do we have?” Grace asked the paramedic.
“Thirty-six-year-old male. Driver of the car that flipped on the highway. Chest and abdominal injuries. Hypotensive en route. BP 80/50. Pulse is in the sixties.”
“Name?” she asked.”
“Carl McAllister.”
“Let’s get him to trauma room three,” Grace spoke.
The second ambulance pulled up and I ran over to it.
“What do we have?” I asked as the paramedic opened the door.
“Thirty-six-year-old female. Passenger of flipped car. She was found lying outside the car. Multiple head and chest trauma. She was unresponsive in the field.”
“Get her into trauma room four. Type and cross six units and hang two units of O neg. She’s bleeding out.”
“Dr. Finn, her heartrate is tachycardic in the 130s,” Sara spoke.
I placed the stethoscope on her chest.
“No breath sounds on the right. Set up a chest tube now. She could have an aortic transection. Page cardio stat!”
“She’s going into AFIB,” Sara spoke.
“Get me the paddles and charge to 200,” I yelled. “Push one of epi. Clear.” I shocked her. “Charge to 250. Clear. Push another round of epi and charge to 300. Clear.” I shocked her again. We all stared at the monitor and nothing. She was gone and there was nothing left I could do.
