“Anyway, I called him last night. And in the presence of my father I ‘accidentally’ spilled a lot of water on my mother’s bed. She couldn’t scold or beat me in front of my father! I apologized and offered her my room. She knew I was going to sleep at Shiva’s, so she agreed.” I smiled. Shiva and Sarv exchanged glances. “Well, I ensured she slept in my room. I had made her bed myself. She is too lazy to move her own things. And before leaving, I opened the latch of the back door. At around 1:30 A.M., I came back home, thanks to the adjoining backyards, and waited for my mother’s screams. Rest, you know!” I was smiling, heavily.
“Why was Kunal there?” Shiva asked, thoughtfully.
“I called him. I wrote him a letter,” I spoke, and they just gawked at me.
“You and your letters.” Sarv hung his head.
“Don’t worry, I have been practicing writing with my left hand for days now. I wrote in a completely different hand.” I beamed with pride.
“And what was in that letter?” Sarv demanded, unable to believe what I did.
“Well, I wrote,
Dear Kunal,
I will say what you want me to, only if you prove your love to me.
I need you to be around my house at 1:30 A.M.; bring your friends and make sure what starts doesn’t end soon!
If you do this for me, I promise I will be indebted to you now and always.”
Yours.”
“How did he react to your letter?” Sarv demanded, bitterly. The reputation of Kunal’s friends preceded them. They were goons!
“Don’t know, he didn’t read it in front of me. But he was there, so I guess he took it positively.” I beamed and continued.
“My plan was that this whole commotion would raise the alarm in the neighborhood and others will join in. But in case they didn’t, Kunal will be ready with his friends, and they will beat Dev to the extent that he will be hospitalized. Kunal was a crucial element of my plan. He is well-connected, so getting goons through his aid was easy. I lured him towards me so that I could use him to my advantage. Also, thanks to Kunal, Dev did fall in love with me – Sarv confirmed the same – and now Dev too knows the pain of heartbreak.”
“I also planned his bone-breaking night because I wanted him to suffer to the worst extent. I wanted his life to be ruined, the way he ruined mine. And in order to ruin his life, he was supposed to fail. He can’t fail if he sits for his exams, so I made sure he couldn’t sit.” As I finished, Shiva and Sarv had baffled expressions on their faces. They just couldn’t believe I had done all this. Post my confession, they didn’t say much, and we parted ways. I decided to give them some time to process this news. After all, it was a big deal!
Final result of my plan was: Dev stayed hospitalized for two months; he had nineteen fractures. He missed his exams. The headlines next day said he was accused of attempted rape, and the papers had his picture. Because of these headlines, he couldn’t gain the mercy of the board examiners on the grounds of medical issues. He failed, and he was immediately suspended from his school. I informed my father the about influential connections of Dev’s father. Worried for the well-being of his family, he brought these connections in light of the police and media. Now, in no way could Dev’s father hurt us. The name of Dev’s father was dragged through the mud, and he couldn’t do a thing about it. Hence, once Dev was discharged, they moved. Also, on the suggestions of some people, and assurance that Dev would never come near me again, my father took back his complaint. “You don’t want them as your enemy” were the words of the Police.
Shiva and Sarv were finding the truth too hard to accept. They maintained their distance until exams were done. I was not sure what bothered them: was it my actions, or how I reacted to it or the fact that I hid my entire plan from them. Their distance perturbed me and I only hoped they would get over it soon.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Shiva complained when I confronted them after our last exam.
“I knew you would not approve!” I replied in an apologetic tone. Last thing I wanted was to lose my friends.
“He deserved it,” Sarv spoke finally, relieving me of all suspicions. Finally, they had accepted what I had done.
“But his father?” Headlines had been brutal for days now. Shiva didn’t know his father like Sarv and I did. Hence she pitied him.
“Yeah, he deserved it more,” Sarv answered on my behalf with gritted teeth. “It would have been better if he too would have gotten some beating, he is a bastard.”
“Sarv!” Shiva scolded, but I laughed. It reminded me of how Dev had used the same term to sleep with me months ago. They both gave me a very questionable look.
“What? I am happy that you are not mad at me,” I lied. They nodded.
“Do you feel guilty?” Sarv asked after a pause.
“About what?” I was surprised.
“With what you did to Dev?” He sounded serious.
“Do you?” Shiva counter-questioned.
“You did ruin his career and his father’s image,” Sarv spoke in a guilt-laced tone.
“What do you expect a slut to do?” I demanded, angrily. They both went dead quiet. “To answer your question, no, I don’t feel guilt at all. He deserved every single blow he got. My only regret is I couldn’t deliver them with my own hands.” I felt fumes blow out my nostrils. Shiva and Sarv shirked away at my tone.
“So, what about Kunal now?” Shiva tried to change the subject. Her tone made me realize my mistake – I was scaring my friends!
“What about him?” I replied in a much calmer tone.
“Will you go out with him?” Sarv enquired.
“I promised him that I would if he came that night. And a promise is a promise!”
Part III
If not feeling remorse for people who wronged me makes me a sociopath, then hell yes, I am one!
Sociopath
Present Day in the Bar
“You were one avenging bitch,” Ravi exclaimed as Ishana finished Dev’s chapter. Earlier, she might have taken offense to the word ‘bitch’, but now she considered it as a compliment. And she also knew that he was a bit drunk. A lot of people cannot handle good liquor.
Ishana smiled in reply.
“So, basically he cheated on you, and you took drastic measures to take revenge,” he whispered as he lit up a cigarette. She nodded, curiously. He was giving her patronizing looks for smoking earlier, and now he had lit one of her cigarettes. “And you did all this once you were sure he was madly in love with you.” Ravi concluded with animated gestures. Ishana shrugged with an attitude. For others she might have done something wrong, but not according to her. Not then, not now!
“Man, he didn’t know what hit him.” He was staring at her with awe. She was a Goddess to him and he just wanted to worship her. Ishana smirked.
“You think I did right? He deserved what he got?” Ishana asked casually. It’s not like she was seeking his acceptance, but she needed to know his reaction in order to continue.
“Honestly,” Ravi paused to take a long dramatic drag from the cigarette, “He deserved every single blow he got. He lied to you, cheated on you, advertised you to the world. It’s a shame he lived that night.” There was an edge in his tone. Somehow Ishana felt that Ravi took her insult personally but given he was drunk, she decided to let go.
Mistaking her silence he added hastily, “But at least you got one thing good out of all this.” She raised her eyebrows at his statement. She too would like to know what was good in all this. “You got Kunal, hey is he still with you?”
Ishana laughed, hysterically. “Ah Kunal, what a man he was!”
“What?” Ravi was shocked. So far, Kunal was the gentleman of her story, her knight in shining armor, but was he?
“You would need to accompany me back to year 2001, only then you will know what really happened.” She offered, and he nodded patiently. However, before she could resume, he shot another question.
“What happened to Dev finally?”
/> “Exams were just a formality for him. You know he never gave tenth again! He never studied again.” Her words shocked him.
“So, what is he doing?”
“He recovered and moved to Chennai, for real that time. He joined his uncle’s business to learn. Then he joined his father’s business. At one point, he became very influential and had huge contacts,” she hissed, angrily.
“You kept tabs on him,” Ravi spoke, relaxing on the seat he was sitting.
“You should ease up on your alcohol,” she whispered, pointing. He had lost all his mannerisms now, and he was fully drunk. Her words made him feel conscious. He ran to the bathroom and came back in a much soberer condition.
“Sorry,” he whispered, taking his seat again.
“So, Dev, you ever met him again?” he enquired. She raised her eyebrows and shook her head condescendingly. “Okay, sorry! I stepped into the future of your story again, didn’t I?” He apologized, and she nodded.
“You really don’t feel guilty, do you?” he was amazed by her. She carelessly shook her head in denial. “Do you know what the clinical term is for a person who doesn’t feel remorse or is able to lie so casually?”
Ishana laughed loudly at his words. “My dear Ravi, if you are implying that I am a sociopath, then please stop. Don’t forget I am a genius! I already know what I am.”
The Choice
School Life – Year 2001
Smaaackkk! The slap didn’t just echo in my head and ears, it also echoed in our home.
“You want to take commerce because you know you have failed board exams, just like you failed in pre-board. This Shiva is the worst influence ever,” my mother paraded. She didn’t even bother asking for a reason; she didn’t even bother listening. She had just issued a burning slap right across my face.
“I am not going to fail, Mumma,” I whispered, massaging my stinging cheek. The inside of my cheek felt sore too; it may have been torn.
“Then why would you take commerce?” she barked, angrily.
“Because I don’t want to be an engineer or a doctor. And I hate science. I don’t think I can do justice to advanced physics or chemistry,” I whispered.
“What is Shiva taking?” she demanded.
“I don’t know. We never discussed. But she too hates science, so maybe.” I couldn’t even finish my sentence when my mother grabbed my hair and spoke. “This is because of her or because of some boy?” she demanded.
“This is because I want to continue getting good marks. If I take science, then I may not top ever again,” I cried, clutching at my hair. She was tugging them very hard.
“You didn’t answer about boys.” She pulled even harder.
“Ahhhhhhh………. There is no boy, Mumma. Please let me go, Mumma,” I begged, falling on my knees.
“Do you know what I think?” she whispered in my ear, shaking my hair. I almost screamed again, “I think that boy Dev, who came to our house that night, is your boyfriend. And you were sleeping with him.” She was gritting her teeth furiously.
“But I was at Shiva’s that night!” I begged, trying to pry my hair out of her grip. She pulled harder.
“Yes, you made that mistake! And he paid for it.”
“I am not sleeping with anybody. I have no boyfriend.” Tears leaked from my eyes with pain. She had the scariest look in her eyes. I feared she would strangle me then and there!
“I really doubt it. What good can be expected from a slut!” she raged, and a murderous instinct rose in me.
“I am not a slut,” I barked enraged, and suddenly I found the strength to push her. I stood up angrily, fire flaring from my nostrils. For the first time ever, she took a step back. Was she scared in the moment? I don’t know what my expressions said but all I wanted to do was kill her with the same hatred that she showed me, but I resisted. How could I? She was my mother!
“I will let your father decide.” She found her voice as I broke eye contact. I knew I am going to pay very heavily for this and I was proven right. Next moment she picked up a bamboo stick that we used as a door-stopper. If my rage was dying, hers wasn’t. She was furious like never before. Thud! Thud! Thud! The sound didn’t come because she was beating the ground; it came because she was beating me! I fell on all fours screaming and howling in pain.
“Bahut bolna aa gaya hai na tujhe, now show me your tongue,” she demanded enraged but I kept quiet. I loved my life dearly. “If it were up to me, you would have been married to Ramesh’s son,” she announced and finally she left - after giving me a brutal kick in the stomach. Ramesh Uncle was my father’s good friend, and his son, well, he was thirty-five years old. He chewed tobacco always and was a bad drunk. The only reason my mother wanted me to marry him was that Ramesh Uncle was kind of a legacy in our small town. He owned the biggest clothes mill, and his thirty-five-year-old son was the sole heir. I hated them!
That evening, my mother informed my father about my choice. She conveniently skipped the part where she had beaten the crap out of me.
“She wants to take commerce,” she spoke in an angry tone. I usually avoided my father because as per my mother, good girls didn’t linger around male figures. I stayed hidden behind the door and eavesdropped on their conversation.
“What? She is such a brilliant student. Why?” He was shocked. My heart sank!
“God knows, I think she is going to fail in board exams,” my mother sighed. I heard her sit on the noisy couch.
“I have full faith in her.” My father, the gentleman, showed confidence in me. “Does she know that only failures and rowdy children opt for commerce?” he questioned.
“Yes she does. She told me the same a few years ago herself,” my mother offered.
“She is a smart kid and I don’t want to force our decision on her. If she wants commerce, then let her be in it. She will find her footing,” my father declared, and I jumped with happiness. In the moment I would have run and hugged my father, but the next statement of my mother stopped me dead. “I think we should think about her marriage.”
“What? She is barely seventeen.” I could hear my shock in my father’s voice.
“Yes, and soon she will be eighteen; it will take at least a year to find her a suitable match. How about Ramesh’s son?” My mother started with her plan, but my father spoke exactly the right thing. “His son is old and a bad influence. You have lost your mind.”
“But…” she tried to argue, but my father’s calm but threatening words brought an end to that conversation, “Ishana is not getting married until she is twenty-five. I don’t want to hear anything on this topic until then.”
Thank God!
Commerce
“Yay!” Shiva, Sarv and I partied with cold drinks and samosas when I broke the news about my choice. Shiva was already planning to take commerce because everybody knew that science was beyond her. And Sarv would have done anything she did. They had declared their choice during the exams. Sarv was even moving to our school for the remaining two years now. His was boys only and ours was co-ed, and given that now we were his best friends and he fancied Shiva way too much, he felt better accompanying us. His parents had no issues with the same, and with his past grades, he was already in.
The only person, apart from my mother, who didn’t like the idea of me taking commerce was Kunal. “But you are a brilliant student, why ruin your life by dropping science and maths?” he argued one evening. I had lied at home that I was going for a walk with Shiva. Though I had left home with Shiva, I had ditched her midway and gone to meet Kunal.
“Commerce is not a waste of career. You can be CA, CS, IAS and what not. With science it’s mainly engineer or doctor, but with commerce, sky is the limit,” I explained, excited.
“Not just engineer or doctor, there are so many more professions that are linked to science. Hey, you can be an astronaut if you like. If sky is the limit for commerce, then it is the whole universe with Science,” he tried explaining. His persuasion skills amused me. He was right
, not even universe is the limit for Science, but I didn’t want to go for it…
Seeing my reaction and hearing my quiet, he continued, “Now we won’t be able to study together,” he sighed, looking around. We were sitting in the shack near Lover’s Park, and owing to the heat, it was practically empty. The owner was way too happy to see us coming. I guessed we were his only business in those hours.
“You are taking another year’s break?” I asked in a distressed tone, and he simply nodded. He had recently taken his IIT exams, and as was obvious, he didn’t do very well. Personally, I would have been way too surprised if he was able to bag any decent college – I hated this conclusion, but I was helpless; he just didn’t have the brains.
“Are you insane?” I asked alarmed. “Why?”
“To be with you,” he smiled, jubilantly. I didn’t know what was more alarming – him not feeling ashamed of failing IITs again or him taking a break and losing one more year! I was wondering if being with him was the right decision when he slowly reached out and grabbed my hand. Instinctively, I pulled it back. His face fell.
“I love you,” he whispered, eyeing my hand.
“I love you too,” I replied, agitated. Here I was, worried about his career, and he was worried that I was not letting him hold my hand.
“Look, Kunal, you have to start your education. You cannot take so many breaks.” I tried reasoning with him, but an annoyed look flashed in his eyes.
“Why can’t I, it’s my life. You sound just like my dad.” He was angry. He fiddled with his keys and clanked them loudly on the table. I could tell he was trying to stay calm in front of me.
“He is right, you know, you have to take charge of your life,” I continued, worried. His career affected me as well. If he didn’t go to a decent college soon, then he wouldn’t get a good job. And without a good job, there was no future for us.
Betrayed Page 12
