by M. R. Forbes
“Maybe I can get a turn when this is over.”
John had slept because the mission depended on him being battle ready. But his demons were on full attack, his dreams broken and dark. The sanctorium had only made it all worse. His body was whole, and that had affected his head in a bad way.
“Here,” Lia said, producing a small dagger from a counter in the cell. “A ceremonial knife. It may not be very sharp.”
“It doesn’t matter.” John dropped to his knees, tilting his head forward. “Get to work, doc.”
“You want me to do it?” Lia asked.
“I can’t do it myself. It won’t let me.”
“What if it explodes when I try to remove it? Or what if it sends an alarm?”
“Then I’m no worse off than I am right now. I understand if you don’t want to do it. You can go back to your room and stay out of trouble.”
Lia shook her head. “No. I’m committed. This is probably going to hurt.”
“I expect it will.”
She took a deep breath, angling the blade toward the back of John’s neck.
“Will you hurry up?” Oni said.
“I’m going as fast as I can,” Lia replied.
John felt the light touch of the knife’s edge and then a burn as it sank into his flesh. He gritted his teeth. This was nothing compared to the pain he had already endured. It was nothing compared to the pain of losing his wife.
“There,” Lia said, almost too quickly. She dropped the inhibitor on the ground beside John. The small, black-carapaced creature writhed in a small pool of his blood, unhappy to have been removed.
“Gross,” John said, lifting his fist and bringing it down hard on the creature, smashing it. “Little bastard.”
“Hold still. I have to stop the bleeding.”
Lia put pressure on his neck, keeping it tight. The last thing John needed was to be rid of the inhibitor and then bleed to death on Sergeant Oni’s floor.
“I just need some cloth,” John said.
Oni slid out from under the sergeant, rising and rushing to the bedroom. She returned with one of the sergeant’s clean tunics. John took it and tore it, quickly wadding part of it and using the rest to keep the makeshift bandage pressed against his skin.
“How deep did you cut?” he asked.
“Not that deep,” Lia replied. “It was just under the flesh.”
“It should stop bleeding pretty fast then.”
“What’s going on?” Sergeant Oli said, waking up without Oni’s ministrations. “Behemoth? What are you doing in my cell?”
He tried to get up. John spun on him, lunging for the Inahri soldier, and for the first time not having anything stop him. He grabbed Oli by the neck, driving him back to the floor. “I don’t want to kill you.”
“Sergeant, you probably won’t believe me, but Arluthu is a fraud,” Oni said. “He’s chained to the bottom of the Citadel. A prisoner. He rescued the Inahri from the Axon to use us to sustain himself.”
“What?” Oli said, voice weak through John’s hand. “I don’t understand.”
“We’re his food,” Lia said. “He eats Inahri to survive.”
“That’s impossible.”
“It’s real, Sergeant,” John said. “If you let me go without raising the alarm, I might be able to prove it.”
“I can’t,” Oli replied. “The dishonor.”
“I understand,” John replied. He punched Oli in the side of the head, knocking him out. “We don’t have a lot of time. Can you get me back to Caleb?”
“Maybe if you were a little smaller, you could wear Oli’s robes and hide your face. You’re out of place here.”
“Tell me about it. I need to get from here to there without half the Citadel coming down on us.”
Oni and Lia looked at one another, and then back at him. There was just no way.
“You may have to fight your way through,” Lia said. “There are no weapons allowed in the barracks, save those carried by a limited number of guards and a few of the officers. You might be able to make it.”
John smiled, rising to full height and towering over the two Inahri women.
“Oh, I’m going to make it. You can bet on it.”
Chapter 37
Caleb sat at the edge of the bed. He was aware of his surroundings. He could see everything clearly.
But his body wasn’t his own.
Ishek was with him, the Advocate wrapped tightly around his arm, its presence a constant pressure in his head, exerting its will on him. It had read all of his thoughts when it bonded with him the second time.
It had confirmed everything he suspected.
Worse, it had enjoyed doing it.
You are powerless against the Will of Arluthu, Caleb. This is proof of the Might of our Lord and Master that he can show you the truth of his exile, and there is nothing you can do to change anything. Your mind is open to me. I hear your thoughts. I see your memories. I know what you know. Proxima, for instance. Hmmm. Interesting. Shall I bring this to Arluthu’s attention?
“I won’t let you goad me,” Caleb replied. “If you already know everything, you don’t need me to speak.”
No. But it is more interesting when you do. Don’t worry, Caleb. Doctor Valentine’s change is nearly complete, and then the existence and location of the human settlement will surely be known. Not that you even know precisely where it is. Even four light years leaves a lot of open space. Regardless, Arluthu never needed you for that.
“What does he need me for?”
You’re a skilled warrior. And you know your people’s defenses. Arluthu would like to limit the bloodshed, as each Earther we kill leaves one less Earther for the Kuu or the breeding cells. You know why he needs them now.
“And when that’s done?”
Your spirit will break. You will come to Arluthu of your own will. You will join us, and our bond will be completed.
The statement gave Caleb pause. “Join you to complete the bond?”
The only way to exert your will is to open yourself fully to the Hunger and the Might of Arluthu. Don’t you understand? Like the devious prison Arluthu’s brothers and sisters designed to hold him in check, you cannot win without losing. You cannot survive without remaining trapped.
Caleb heard the Advocate’s laughter in his head. Ishek was enjoying every moment of his mental imprisonment.
“You’re saying I have to become like you to resist you? Is that why Harai murdered the innocent Free Inahri? Is that why he wanted you to kill Dante?”
In part. The Advocate becomes more like the host, and the host becomes more like the Advocate. That is how the bond is completed.
“But Harai completed his bond to you?”
Yes. And he is suffering without me, even with a new Advocate on his arm. He will survive, but not without pain.
“You don’t have pain?”
I do. But my future goes through you. This will bring me greater honor than any Advocate has ever achieved. They are getting close.
Caleb’s hand reached to his side, resting on the blaster there. Of course, Ishek had learned what he had asked Oni and Lia to do. It was impossible to keep the Advocate from knowing. But it wasn’t satisfied to put a stop to it before they ever reached Washington. It wanted to see what John and the two women would do.
And it knew what they were doing. John was trying to get to him, fighting his way through the Inahri barracks to Dojo Shing. He was meeting less resistance than he might have expected, and it was intentional. The Advocate was orchestrating everything. It didn’t want John to die before he made it here.
You killed him by getting him involved. You could have kept him safe.
“Safe from what?” Caleb said. “You think you can control us, but you’re comparing Marines to Inahri.”
I can control you. I’m going to enjoy making you watch me kill your friend, and then I’m going to make you do things to the breeders you will never forget.
A shiver ran down Caleb
’s spine, and Ishek laughed in response. Humans were nothing to the Relyeh. Nothing but resources to be used as needed. As slaves. As soldiers. As food.
Not only humans. We have hungered for millions of years. We have fed on hundreds of civilizations. The universe belongs to us. It was made for us. I can sense you, Caleb. I know you still think you can win. That you can save your colony and your friend. You can’t.
“I’ve heard that before. I’m still here.”
Because Arluthu allows you to be here. Do not forget it.
Caleb drew in a deep breath. Then he tried to shift the hand resting on the gun. His head felt like it would explode from the sudden pressure, and he gave up.
You did so well in the Kuu. And yet you can’t even move your own hand.
Caleb breathed out, remembering the Kuu. Logic and emotion worked together there to help or hinder the challenger. He would have to be like Ishek to overpower the Advocate.
He still wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but Washington, Lia, and Oni were almost to his cell. The rest of Dojo Shing had already been ordered out of the way. John would come through the door, rush to the bedroom, and be greeted with a blaster bolt to his forehead.
And there was nothing he could do to stop it.
You cannot win without losing.
Ishek was always there, right at the edge of his mind. The trap was set, and now it was ready to spring.
Here they come.
Caleb watched through the arch from the bedroom as the door to his cell began to open. He was out of time. And out of ideas.
You cannot win without losing. You cannot survive without remaining trapped.
There was one way to escape. One way to prevent Arluthu from getting what he wanted.
Washington came through the door, turning and running toward him, with Oni and Lia right behind. He was wearing a padded white uniform, stained with blood and grime. He had a piece of cloth tied around his neck, and his eyes were wild and angry.
They changed when they saw Caleb, softening. A smile began to spread across his face. Hadn’t Oni warned him about Ishek? Knowing John, he hadn’t listened.
Say goodbye.
Caleb’s hand wrapped around the gun, beginning to raise it. Washington saw it a moment later, expression shifting for a third time as he tried to judge whether he could reach Caleb.
Caleb’s finger shifted to the trigger, hand moving to aim.
You cannot win without losing. You cannot survive without remaining trapped.
He had to be more like the Advocate to overpower it. Raw. Base. Violent. A single, quick thought rushed through his head. A thought Ishek didn’t respond to. There was no pressure. No effort to block it. Or maybe the Relyeh creature couldn’t. His hand kept moving, turning inward until the barrel of the gun pressed against his chest.
Nooooooo!
“Sarge!” Washington said, reaching for his hand.
Too late.
Caleb pulled the trigger.
The bolt sank through his flesh and muscle, easily burning its way to and through his heart. He smelled the cooking meat of his body as the blast went through him and out his back, and then the oxide of his blood when it began to flow. He tried to take a breath but couldn’t. He tried to speak to Washington. He couldn’t do that either.
Washington reached him, grabbing him as he began to topple backward, coming to his side and holding him. “Cal. Shit. Are you crazy?”
John’s face began to fade from his view. He couldn’t breathe. He was going to die.
Well played, Earther.
Chapter 38
Caleb didn’t die.
He should have. He had a hole through his heart.
But he also had an Advocate clinging to his arm, a symbiote that couldn’t survive without him. Not while it was connected.
Ishek wanted to repair the damage. It could do it by throwing his immune system into FTL. It couldn’t do it on its own. While it could control his muscles, it didn’t have full control over his mind. It could help him cling to life, but it couldn’t heal him. Not without assistance.
Caleb had taken a chance, believing the inhibitor wouldn’t stop him from harming himself if he believed he was helping himself, and realizing that the solution to the puzzle was to try to kill himself in the first place. Self-preservation was the most base instinct of any living organism, and by abandoning that basic inclination he put Ishek on the defensive.
Allow me to repair you.
Why should he? What was in store for him if he did? The Advocate would force him to kill Washington and maybe Oni and Lia too. And once they were gone and he was under Arluthu’s control, the Deliverance would be next.
His mission was to protect the colony at all costs.
If that meant forfeiting his life, so be it. It was a price he was—had always—been willing to pay.
You must let me heal you. You have no other choice.
Ishek was panicking. Caleb couldn’t help but enjoy that. Because he did have a choice, and there was no chance he was going to change his mind. Not without coming to an understanding with Ishek.
There will be no negotiation. I have orders from Arluthu. I must remain in control.
Then they were both going to die. Full stop. End of story.
No! I will not let you take our lives!
Ishek had made a huge mistake giving him access to a gun and failing to consider the lengths to which he would go to save his people. So had Arluthu. They were thinking as Relyeh.
They didn’t know how to think like a Marine.
Caleb was willing to let Ishek save him. But on his own terms. He had his own orders and his mission. Anything that got in the way of that was a non-starter.
It was better to die.
I cannot die.
Of course, if he was to survive and stay on the mission, whoever was with him had a much better chance of survival too. It didn’t matter if it were Washington, Lia, Oni...or even Ishek.
We cannot escape his Might. We cannot survive his Might. No Relyeh betrays an ancient god.
Caleb was more sure than ever that Arluthu was no god. Gods didn’t wind up in chains. Not that it mattered; he was going to die anyway. He wouldn’t live to see the outcome of this fight.
And he was at peace with that.
We must survive. Allow me to repair you.
Ishek was making sharp whistling noises from beneath his sleeve, crying out in its desperation. Washington started to reach for it, to tear it away from Caleb’s skin.
“No,” Caleb managed to whisper. Washington’s hand stopped.
If he were healthy, they would all have a chance to escape. They would all have a chance to survive.
Externally, Ishek screeched even louder, in seeming agony over the decision. Then it went silent.
You may have your way. I will not hinder you.
Caleb was glad the Advocate was beginning to see reason. But how could he trust its words?
It is more than words. You must feel it.
He did. The pressure from the Advocate eased. The strength of it vanished. Ishek couldn’t submit verbally without doing so physically. It wasn’t capable.
And it would be easier to escape with help.
Do not ask that of me.
Ishek could communicate with the Relyeh. The Arshugg and even Arluthu. It had access to their shared knowledge. There was so much it could provide that would increase their odds of getting out alive.
Caleb gasped, Ishek’s ability to release the adrenaline that was keeping him alive waning. He would need to decide soon whether or not to let Ishek heal him, or they were both going to die.
It screamed even louder, its legs burning Caleb’s flesh. It wanted to escape him, but it couldn’t. It was just as stuck to him as he was stuck to it. Isn’t that what it had wanted? Isn’t that what it had asked of him?
Not like this. You win, Earther. Allow me to repair your wound. I will give you the aid you need, but you must do for me as well. I hunger for fear
. I hunger for pain. I hunger for superiority.
Caleb wasn’t in the mood to bargain. He had nothing to lose except his life, and losing that was better than any of the alternatives. But there was one more thing he needed. Maybe the most important thing of all. He couldn’t afford to have the Advocate share his thoughts or his memories with the Relyeh. It would undermine everything he needed to do.
Ishek screeched again, unhappy that he had added another term, but growing desperate to save its own life. Its whining subsided into acceptance.
Very well. Allow me to repair you. I will do as you say for as long as we are bound.
Caleb smiled, causing Washington to raise an eyebrow. He would let Ishek fix the wound. The price was subservience.
He let go of his resistance. Immediately, a flood of chemicals went out from the Advocate, entering his bloodstream in a direct path to his heart. He could feel Ishek’s relief as the wound began to close, the cells regenerating and repairing. Washington continued to hold him, able to sense the sudden change in his health.
“You’re going to make it, Sarge,” he said.
Caleb breathed in suddenly, for the first time in nearly three minutes. He gulped the air, his heart beginning to pump on its own once more. He heaved his breaths a few times before getting his fill.
“Wash,” he said. “Wash, I’m sorry. About Dante. About knocking you out. All of it.”
“I knew it wasn’t you, Sarge. I never doubted you for a second. We need to get that thing off you.” He started reaching for Ishek again.
“No!” Caleb snapped. He calmed his voice. “Its name is Ishek. We have an understanding.” He glanced at the cloth around Washington’s neck. “Give me a minute to get my strength back, help me take out my inhibitor and then we’ll plan our escape.”
Chapter 39
It was easy for Caleb to lead Washington, Oni, and Lia back out of the Dojo Shing barracks. For all the rest of the Relyeh or Inahri knew, he was still under Ishek’s control, as trustworthy as the most loyal follower of Arluthu.
