by Kasie West
I stopped pacing and faced Trina, Blaire, and Elise, tears and all. “One of you talked to a reporter recently and I just want to know who it was.”
I had pulled the article up on my laptop before they’d come, and I placed my computer on the coffee table in front of them now. They all leaned forward as one to read it. While they did I managed to get my emotions under control. As each of them finished, they came away with disgusted expressions.
Trina spoke first, looking at her hands. “A reporter did call. She asked if I knew you and what we’d done together.”
I sighed and wiped at my cheeks. Blaire was right about Trina? She’d be happy about this. “So you told her I didn’t tip the valet driver?” I demanded.
“What? No. I told her we went shopping on Rodeo Drive.”
“You didn’t tell her about the valet guy?”
“No, why would I do that?”
I clenched my fists, my nails biting into my palms. “I don’t know. Why does anyone do anything? I don’t know the answer to that question anymore. I thought I did once, but not anymore.”
“I talked to a reporter, too,” Elise said.
My head whipped in her direction. “What? You did?”
“I didn’t think it would turn out like this. I told her all sorts of good things. I told her you bought pizza for us. I thought that would help her see how generous you always are. I thought she was writing a good article about you. About us.”
“Us?” I asked.
“All your friends.”
“You mean, you, don’t you, Elise?” Blaire asked. “You wanted to be in an article.”
“It’s not like that.”
“What is it like, then?” Blaire asked.
Elise wiped at her eyes because she had started crying. “You guys all have your things. All of you. You’re both super smart,” she said pointing to Blaire and me. “And for years I’ve tried to keep up with that. With the fact that my best friends both have everything together. And then you get another thing, Maddie? You get to be rich and famous now?” Elise was breathing hard and she stopped and shook her head over and over, then pointed at the computer. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I really thought she was going to write a nice article.”
Blaire rolled her eyes at Elise. “Well, it didn’t turn out that way.”
I stared at Elise, speechless.
“It sucks that this happened, Maddie,” Blaire said. “That’s really awful, but people who really know you aren’t going to think twice about what that article said. The only thing this will do is weed out the losers.” Blaire looked at Trina with this comment and I wondered if we were going to have a war of words between them now.
I spoke before either of them could. “I wasn’t worried so much about people reading it as I was about who’d told the reporter all this. But now I know.” I shot a disbelieving glance at Elise. “What I’m more worried about now is this.” I handed Blaire my letter from UCLA.
She took the paper and unfolded it. Everyone watched on in silence.
“Oh no,” she said when she was done. “Do you think they read the article?”
“You mean … ” There was something else I suspected. Something I didn’t want to be true. But given how obsessed Blaire was with me going to Stanford, I thought it could be. “You didn’t send them the article?”
She flew to her feet. “What? No! Of course I didn’t.”
I wanted to cry again. Because I wasn’t sure if I believed her. After all, Elise had unwittingly sold me out.
I hated that I had become an untrusting person. It wasn’t me.
Blaire took my hand and looked me in the eyes. “Maddie, I always thought that you were choosing UCLA because it was the safe choice. The choice you made for your family. I think in your heart of hearts you want to go to Stanford. But I would never take that decision away from you. It has always been yours to make. You have to believe me.”
Blaire dropped my hand and sank back onto the couch.
My head was spinning and I didn’t know how to process this new info. I just needed to think.
“I need you all to leave,” I finally said. “Now.”
Elise whispered a quick apology to me, then darted outside without looking back.
“Trina?” I said, stopping her as she was walking to the door.
“Yeah?”
“Did your dad give you money when I bought that car?”
“What?” Her eyes went wide. “No. Why?”
“No reason.”
“What is it?” she asked. “Tell me. Did something happen with the car?”
I didn’t need to tell her if she wasn’t involved. The only thing that would do was create bad feelings between her and her dad. “Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t using me.”
“I promise I wasn’t. I really like you. Remember that day we ran into each other at school and your phone broke and I had soda down the front of my shirt?”
“Yes, of course I remember.”
“You were so funny that day. You spouted off some facts about texting and walking that made me laugh and I thought to myself, That girl knows who she is.”
“Thanks, Trina.” I glanced at Blaire, whose eyes went to the floor.
Trina squeezed my hand and left. Blaire stood from the couch. She rounded the coffee table now and came toward the door I was still holding open. She gently shut it without exiting.
“I’m sorry this all happened. Do you want me to stay? Help talk you through it?”
I leaned my back against the door. “I feel myself shutting off my emotions, Blaire. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to trust anyone again. Sometimes I feel like my own family is playing me.”
“We all knew you and loved you before you had money. Apparently even Trina. Can’t you trust that?”
“So I’ll never be able to make new friends?”
“Of course you will, you just need to trust your gut and your heart.”
“They’ve both been steering me wrong for the last couple months.”
“Have they?” She took my hand. “Trina seemed pretty cool today. She was the first to admit to a wrong. That says a lot.”
“Her dad made a lot of money off of me.”
“It sounds like she had no idea.”
“Do you think she was telling the truth?”
“I do. This is your new reality, Maddie. I guess you can call it the price you’ll have to pay for the huge blessing you received. I’d say when all is said and done, when you learn how to navigate this, you’ll see that your life can be anything you want it to be.”
I smiled a little. “You mean winning the lottery didn’t ruin my life? I sound like such a baby when I put it that way.”
She laughed. “I get it. Your whole life has changed in a short amount of time. You have to expect some growing pains from that.”
“When did you get so smart?” I asked.
“I was always one percent smarter than you. I think I just used it all up in this display of genius, though.”
I hugged her. “I love you, friend.”
“Love you, too.” She squeezed me tight. “I’m sorry for being so pushy about Stanford that you thought I would betray you.”
“It’s okay.”
“Email UCLA. Tell them who you really are. They’ll love you.”
I nodded slowly. “I was a total jerk to Zoo Seth yesterday.”
“Uh-oh. What happened?”
“I accused him of using me for my money.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Because I turned paranoid. And he needs money for school. And he kissed me.”
We had been having this whole conversation standing by the door, but when I said that, Blaire marched back to the couch and sat down expectantly. “Talk.”
“It’s really not that long of a story.”
“I knew you liked him.”
“I did … I do. I’m sorry I broke our pact.”
She waved her hand through
the air. “Please. I don’t care about that. I just want you to be happy.”
“I ruined it. I thought he only pretended to like me so I’d pay for his college.” I joined her on the couch.
“And do you still think that?”
“Yes … ” I sighed. “No. Probably not. I have trust issues now. It’s not cool.”
“If the boy is smart, he’ll understand your paranoia. If the boy is smart, he is in love with you.”
“I might be more drama than I’m worth. He hasn’t even texted me.”
“You didn’t see him this morning at the zoo?”
“I didn’t go to the zoo this morning. Maybe I should buy him a—”
“You are not going to buy him anything,” she interrupted me. “You don’t need to buy people’s affection. You have to stop thinking like that.”
“I know.”
“Do you want to win him back or not?”
I thought back to the night of my birthday, in the parking lot where he handed me a stupid little bag of candy. He didn’t know about the lottery win that night. I didn’t even know about the lottery win that night. But that was the night that something sparked between us. Blaire was right—I had to trust my heart. It was the only way to live. And my heart wanted Seth.
“Yes. I think so.”
“Well, you better figure it out.”
I sat in my room, staring at the email I’d composed to a UCLA admissions counselor. I listened to the background noise of my parents fighting. My parents had issues that money couldn’t fix. That I couldn’t fix. My brother did, too. He needed to work things out on his own this time. It was the only way he’d learn. It had taken me a long time to accept that fact, but now I did.
I read the words I’d written again. They were good words. Persuasive words.
The penny from Seth sat on my desk next to my computer and I ran a finger over the face of Abraham Lincoln. Seth had said something when I picked this penny up that was replaying in my head. We make our own luck. I believed that, too. We chose our own fate. We controlled our own future. I knew what I wanted. I needed to go get it.
I deleted my email.
I walked into the kitchen, where my parents were still arguing.
“I’m going to Blaire’s house,” I said, over the top of my dad’s sentence.
They didn’t hear me.
Mom said, “Oh, really, you don’t spend a lot? What about this necklace?”
Dad let out a heavy sigh.
I raised my hand and said loudly, “I bought that.”
They both stopped and looked at me.
“Yeah, hi. I bought the necklace. Dad didn’t. I wanted to try to make things better. It obviously made things worse. I learned my lesson. Now stop yelling at Dad. At least for something he didn’t do.”
My mom leaned against the counter, her fight obviously gone.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Dad said to Mom.
I wasn’t sure if Mom was shocked over his apology or my admission, but she stood there for a long time in silence. Finally she said, “We need counseling or I don’t think this can work.”
“I agree,” Dad said.
For the second time, Mom looked shocked. Like she’d expected him to argue that point.
“I also need to find a job,” Dad said. “We’re home too much together.”
“You can’t handle being around me?” she asked.
“Didn’t we both just admit to that?”
Round two was about to commence. “I’m going to Blaire’s,” I repeated, ready to escape. “But I agree with the counseling decision if you’re taking votes.”
And just like that, Mom laughed. Dad followed. And I left the house with a smile.
When Blaire answered her front door, she had a pencil in her hair and held a laptop with one hand.
“You couldn’t even put it down to answer the door?” I said.
“Nope. There is no rest for the … ” She paused, searching for a word.
“Overworked? Sleep-deprived? College-bound?” I offered as suggestions.
“All of the above?”
“Let me in. I have an announcement.”
“An announcement?” She pushed the door open wider and I slid inside.
“I’ve made a decision.”
“That’s cause to celebrate.”
I smacked her arm, took the laptop away from her, and set it on her entryway table. Then I led her to the couch in the front room. “I’m going to Stanford with you.”
She screamed so loud I had to cover my ears. Then she smashed me into a hug. “What? I thought the second you told me you wanted to be with Seth that this was over. What happened? Why?”
“I’ve just been thinking about it and you’re right, I can’t control my family, I have to let them work things out … or not. And I can’t control every aspect of my life either. I’ve wanted to go to Stanford but I’ve been scared of the unknown. I’m ready to face some fears now.”
She smiled. “I am so happy.”
“Me too.”
“Speaking of facing fears, have you talked to Seth yet? Told him how you feel?”
“No, I haven’t. I’m going to. I hope he can forgive me.”
“He’ll be fine. That boy is smitten.”
“I hope so.”
“And what about Elise?” she asked. “Have you talked to her?”
I sighed. “No. What about you?”
“No. I think I’m madder at her than you are.”
I smiled. “I don’t know about that. Maybe if she apologizes, I’ll think about it.”
“She hasn’t even apologized yet?”
“No, I think she’s more concerned about her new popular friends liking her than me.”
Blaire squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too. But I’ve always known she was searching for something. For who she is. For who she wants to be. I think that’s hard.”
“You’re too nice of a person,” Blaire said. “But I know what you mean. I’m glad you’ve found some peace over it.”
“I really have.”
“Now go tell Boyfriend your plans,” Blaire said.
“He’s not Boyfriend yet.”
“He will be soon.”
Before I could talk to Seth, I had a long overdue appointment on Saturday morning.
“The first thing I tell people who win the lottery,” Mr. Chandler, the financial advisor, said as I sat in a big leather chair across the desk from him, “is to change their phone number. Have you done that yet?”
I groaned. “I should’ve talked to you two months ago.”
“So what is your goal with this money? What kinds of things do you need it to do?”
I did want to let go of the things in my life that I couldn’t control, but there were things I could. That was part of my personality, to put things in order. And it felt good to do that now. To take this big, seemingly uncontrollable aspect of my life and manage it. “Well, I’m going to Stanford. So I’ll need to pay for school and living expenses. And I want to be able to travel back here from the Bay Area often.”
“Okay, so you’ll need tuition money, a travel fund, and living expenses. That will not be hard to do. Your money will be generating interest, and I have no doubt you can easily live off the interest and the principal will remain intact.”
“That would be great. I do like to help people, but I think I need a max dollar amount I’m allowed to spend on that.”
He smiled. “Okay, we’ll come up with that dollar amount, and we’ll have a special account for that money.”
“Okay.”
“We need to put this in a trust, and you need to think about what you want to happen with it should the worst happen.”
“You mean if I die?”
“Yes, that would be the worst. We could also set up a separate charitable donations trust. That would be for money you’d want to donate to causes … like the zoo one year, or a school.”
I smiled big. “I
’d like that a lot. There’s this anteater at the zoo who could use a new exhibit. I’d love to fund that.”
Mr. Chandler raised his eyebrows. “An anteater?”
“She’s the best. Plus, there are other exhibits the zookeepers would love to bring to Santa Ana. Like spiders. Lots of spiders.”
“You like spiders?” he asked.
“No, spiders are icky, but some people really like them.” Seth. He liked them.
“Okay. Then let’s get paperwork together.”
A big burden seemed to lift off my shoulders as I signed papers that allocated my money in the perfect ways for me and my future.
When I stood to leave, I said, “Oh, do you have a roll of pennies I could buy? They come in fifty, right?”
Mr. Chandler gave me a quizzical look. “I don’t have cash back here, but the teller out front will.”
“Okay.” I had a plan, and it needed to work.
But before I could carry out my plan, I had one more person to see: my brother.
I knocked on his door and he answered.
“Hey,” I said.
Beau stepped aside to let me in. More work had been done in his house and it was coming together beautifully.
“Did you come to collect your thirty thousand? Because I don’t have it.”
“I know. And no, I came to tell you that you don’t have to pay me back.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath of relief.
“But that’s it. I can’t bail you out anymore.”
“I know.”
“No, really. I’m leaving for college. I’m going to Stanford. I won’t be here to bail you out.”
He sank down onto the couch. “Got it.”
“But like you said, you could sell this place if you’re in trouble. Or get a roommate or two?”
“Yeah.”
“You will, right, Beau? You’ll be fine.”
“You worry too much.”
“I don’t think you worry enough.”
