by Alex Howell
Phipps turned to her and announced, “Clara! What happened? Did you fall asleep? I was wondering if you would ever get out of there!”
To her horror, she was the only one that couldn’t get out on her own—she was the only one that failed the test. She stared in disbelief as the rest of her classmates looked at her with mixtures of amusement, and outright disdain.
It was only when she caught the eyes of little Danae that she received some small measure of compassion. Clara gazed at her small face just in time to see her quietly mouth a consolatory, “I’m sorry—sorry”.
But as much as she appreciated the sympathy, she knew that what happened was no one’s fault but her own, and she had to own up to her mistakes.
‘What is wrong with me?’ Clara’s mind screamed in self-chastisement.
And as she followed the rest of the class back to the final hour of their lecture with Michael Phipps, she knew that it was most likely going to be one of the longest hours of her life.
THE NEXT DAY, AT MASON’S HOUSE, BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
Seated on the couch next to Mason and Raina, Clara found herself venting, “I just don’t get it dad, I don’t know why I’m failing my training this badly. It’s like something is blocking me…. I just don’t understand.”
Mason not wishing to sympathize, but to provide some constructive criticism, told her, “Well, to be perfectly blunt sweetheart—it seems to me that your choking up Clara—you’re letting your nerves get the best of you. That’s all”
Clara sighed in exasperation, as she sarcastically quipped, “Thanks—now tell me something that I don’t know.”
But shaking his head for emphasis, Mason insisted, “No seriously, we have to take a look at what is making you so anxious if we are ever going to solve the problem.”
Clara knowing that her dad was absolutely right, finally sighed in recognition, “Okay…”
Raina who had been literally sitting on the sidelines, then spoke up, “What is it that’s bothering you the most?”
Clara was surprisingly immediate in her response as she expressed, “Failure…”
Prompting Raina to inquire, “What kind of failure?”
Clara wrinkled her brow in concentration, and in a perfect display as to why talking things out can be so crucial at times, she suddenly realized what she herself had been desperately trying to figure out all along. Clara found herself admitting, “You know…. Really, I think it all stems back to when I was taken hostage. I felt so powerfulness…. Like I had failed.”
As if a light bulb had just gone off, Clara straightened up and leaned forward on the couch as she realized, “It’s like ever since then... I have harbored resentment of myself for not fighting back and stopping the terrorists from taking me.”
Tears started to well up in her eyes, and she put her head in her hands as she cried, “I blame myself; I just feel so weak. I feel like such a failure…”
Seeing his daughter cry always struck a chord with Mason, but this time Raina’s reaction time was even faster, and swooping in like a mother bird, she put her arms around Raina as she consoled her, “But its not your fault Clara you have to understand that.”
Giving her a light kiss on the cheek even as a tear streamed down it, she told her again, “Listen honey—it’s not your fault. You have to believe that.”
Clara then slowly looked up, and slightly embarrassed by her outpouring of grief looked to Raina as she softly intoned, “It’s not….”
Raina squeezed her arm as she told her, “Of course not!”
She then looked her right in the eyes and told her, “Listen, not matter what you have to remember one thing. It’s not what happens to us that defines us…. Things can happen that are out of our control at any time… But it’s not what happens to us that makes us who we are… But rather, what we do with it, when it occurs.”
Clara thinking of herself trying to make do with her bag of supplies in the dark CIA training room, agreed, “That’s true….”
Clara then made a fresh commitment to herself right then and there to make the best of whatever little plastic bag of assorted items life might throw her way. With her new determination, she gave both Raina and her father a hug as she declared, “Thank you guys so much—I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Mason smiled, “That’s what we’re here for kid!”
8
Top of the Class
THE FOLLOWING MORNING, CIA UNIVERSTIY, LANGLEY VIRGINIA.
Clara was embarrassed of her showing the previous day, but if she knew anything—she knew that the only way to overcome it was to show as bold a face as possible in the face of her adversity. She knew that if she shrunk back now, neither her classmates nor her instructor would be able to look past, but if she owned what had happened and just put one foot in front of the other, and trudged on, she could make the best of a bad situation and be an overcomer. This was the mindset that Clara took on as she sat down at her desk next to Danae.
Danae seeing her, took a breath and smiled, “Clara! Your back!” as if she and everyone else fully expected that she would not return.
Clara nodded, “Of course.”
The instructor, Michael Phipps then came over and greeted her, “Well—well. Clara you have returned after all. Alright well you realize that you will have to repeat yesterday’s failed assignment, don’t you?”
Clara nodded, and again repeated, “Of course.”
The instructor then took her back to the small isolated rooms, in the back of the training center and let her make her way into one of them of her own accord. Once the door was shut, she felt around inside her plastic bag until she grabbed hold of a nail file and a bar of soap. Like an expert she slathered the soap onto the nail file and slid it into the door latch.
After just a few tries she was then able to pick the lock completely. And with seconds to spare, the door flung open. Instructor Phipps and the other students were all in observance as she triumphantly strode out to their spontaneous round of applause.
Michael Phipps was in the lead of cheering her on as he announced, “Way to go Clara! Good job!”
As Raina had advised, Clara had faced her fears, and she just knew that everything was going to be alright from here on out. The next few rounds of testing and exercises then went by like a breeze, with Clara not having to stress out about them too much at all.
The final test the cadets were put through wasn’t so much a test as it was an examination. Clara was placed in what looked like a doctor’s office where technicians hooked her up to all kinds of stress monitoring equipment. Here she was under the charge of a woman named Marcy, who informed her, “Don’t worry. We’re just running a few tests—we’ll have out of here in no time.”
Clara had learned not to ask to many questions, but as a tech began to roughly place several sensors on her left bicep and upper chest, Clara finally decided to ask, “So just what is this testing all about?”
To which Marcy, staring at the screen of the monitoring equipment coldly replied, “These sensors detect reactions from your blood pressure, heart beat, and breathing. Physiological responses that are affected by purposeful deception.
Marcy then turned and looked Clara right in the eye as she told her, “Your being tested for truthfulness.”
Clara almost laughed, “A lie detector test? You’ve got to be kidding me. Why didn’t they tell me before?”
Looking away from the screen and back to Clara, Marcy laughed, “What and ruin all the fun?”
Marcy then added, “Besides, if we told you guys ahead of time, there are some devious individuals that would try to practice how to cheat the lie detector.”
Clara asked, “You mean—like people could learn to lie so well they pass? Has anyone ever actually done that?”
Marcy shook her head, “No—not really, but there is always room for a first. So, in order to prevent even the possibility of deception, we try to catch people as unaware as possible.”
Clara
growing increasingly nervous at all the sensors dangling from her body and tethered to medical equipment then thought to ask, “You know what, if bad nerves is an indication of lying, you guys are making me a nervous wreck! Will that show upon the test!”
To which Marcy responded, “Oh no—don’t worry about that. We know the difference between general anxiety and reactions to specific questions. You’ll be fine.”
Clara laid her head back on the hard pillow of the hospital bed she was resting on and thought to herself a bit sarcastically, ‘Yep, I’ll be just fine.’
One of the tech’s then alerted Marcy that Clara was ready for testing. If Clara thought that the questions would start out light and work their way up, she was mistaken. Because as she turned to face her, the very first question out of Marcy’s mouth was a big one, with a stone-cold expression, she asked, “Are you now or have you ever been in the past—engaged in incidents of international terrorism.”
Upon hearing this, Clara thought to herself, ‘Wonder who the wise guy was who admitted to this one…’
But at any rate, as she began detecting annoyance with her hesitation, Clara finally answered, “No, I have not.” After which Marcy warned her, “Don’t make me remind you, part of the testing involves how quickly you answer and a slowness to respond will look unfavorable.”
Grimacing, Clara thought to sarcastically, “Shit well there goes nothing—now they think I’m a terrorist.”
Marcy then asked, “Ready to proceed?”
To which Clara obediently responded, “Yes, ma’am.”
The next question asked seemed like a bit of a curve ball, as Marcy demanded, “Are you going to tell the truth during this examination?”
Clara wasn’t that much of a willful liar, but she as she didn’t know what all the questions might be, she worried that she might falter a bit in her answer. Nevertheless, she quickly replied back, “Yes, I will tell the truth.”
Marcy then seemed to shift gears, rather quickly running down her list of questions as she asked, “Have you engaged in criminal activity?”
“No” Clara solemnly answered.
Marcy then asked, “Are you employed as a foreign intelligence operative?”
Clara once again repeated, “No.” Kathy then asked, “Have you ever destroyed any property of the United States government?”
Clara had never vandalized anything, so she rather quickly rattled off another, “No.”
The next question Kathy asked was, “Have you used any illegal drugs?” For many applicants that may have smoked a joint or two during their college years, this question may have proven difficult.
But for Clara who had lived up until that point a fairly strait-laced existence, she had honestly never done anything of the kind, and as such as able to truthfully answer, “No, I’ve never used any illegal drugs?”
Marcy was quick to check the readouts of her physiological responses in regard to this answer. But as they clearly showed she was telling the truth, Marcy turned back and congratulated Clara, “Very good. You are not showing any signs of deception whatsoever—you have passed the test.”
MASON’S HOUSE, BALTIMORE, MARYLAND, A FEW WEEKS LATER
As she sat down at the kitchen table where Mason and Raina were seated, she could barely contain her excitement. As her dad poured her a cup of coffee she gushed, “I’m in—I can’t believe it but I made it through!”
Mason poured her a cup of coffee as he assured her, “Well whether you believe it or not—I always believed in you.”
Clara smiled, “Aww dad.” Mason then sat down between her and Raina and asked, “So just what do you think that your next assignment might be?”
Clara then thought about it for a moment before she answered, “I really don’t know. I’m waiting for the field director to let me know. I have an appointment with him tomorrow.”
Mason nodded, “Right—and once they tell you it’s top secret.”
Clara retorted, “Dad…”
Mason shook his head, “No I’m not offended in the least, that’s completely fine by me.”
Mason then sighed with relish, “Whatever it is Clara, I’m sure that you will make me proud.”
CIA HEADQUARTERS, THE DIRECTOR’S OFFICE, THE NEXT MORNING
Clara sat nervously in CIA Field Director Wayne Sikes office waiting for the erstwhile field director to arrive and fill her in on what her next assignment might be. As she waited, she kept looking at her phone. She was tempted to text her dad, but she realized that as close as she was with her father, as a CIA agent she had to create some sense of space between her chosen vocation and that of her dad’s.
As good as his advice and real-world experience was, she had to break out on her own eventually. It pained her to do so, but she knew that she had no choice, so instead of reaching out to text him like she normally did, she reluctantly switched the phone off and jammed it into her pocket.
Moments later the door opened and she was greeted by the current field director for the region, Wayne Sikes, as he exclaimed, “Well! Our newest recruit! Congratulations Clara Walker! Thank you for showing up for this impromptu meeting!”
The words struck Clara as a bit odd, she thought that the meeting that she was having for field placement was a routine step that all cadets went through. Just what did he mean by impromptu. But ignoring her unease for the time being, she just rolled with it and replied, “Thank you Field Director Sikes. I’m glad to be here.”
The Field Director then sat down and remarked, “Well—we are certainly glad to have bright young people join up with us. Especially after the brain drain of previous decades.”
The director then looked around the room and heaved a heavy sigh before announcing, “Alright Clara Walker, enough beating around the bush, let’s get right to the point of the matter—the reason why you are here.”
The uneasiness continued as the meeting began to seem less and less routine. The director then let her have it as he revealed, “We are certainly glad to have you here, but we know about your family.”
These words hit Clara like some kind of strange, accusatory shock, as she gasped, “My family.”
The field director nodded, “Yes, we know that your dad has had long and strange dealings as a contractor.”
Clara hissed, “What? I don’t know if I would characterize them like that.”
The field director steam rolled right past her opposition however as he continued, “But we don’t believe that the apple necessarily falls close to the tree.” Clara was absolutely incensed by these remarks as she replied, “Excuse me?”
The field director continued, “We don’t blame you for the sins of your father, but we just might be able to use you to keep him under wraps.”
‘What? They were going to use me to monitor my dad?’ Clara’s mind reeled at the notion.
Field Director Sikes was relentless however, as he made clear, “Your dad has been on our radar for a while. He like his associate Tessa Rogers--.” The Field Director then paused before continuing, “—maybe you have heard of her?”
Clara of course, knew exactly who he was talking about, but completely petrified she didn’t move a muscle.
Realizing he had failed to elicit a response, the director frowned, “Anyway, your dad like Tessa has been working in the shadows for a while know…involved with terrorist networks….”
Clara then finally found her voice as she exclaimed, “Involved? He was the principal actor in stopping terrorist networks!”
The field director sighed, “Semantics my dear…. Its really all just semantics...”
Clara really couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but not knowing what else to say, she asked, ‘Is he in trouble?”
The field director shook his head, “No—no he’s not in any trouble….”
He trailed off before adding, “Yet….”
The field director then explained, “We are just a bit concerned Clara and we have been thinking about putting a tail on him for a while….
”
The field director then continued, “And since your name came up as a recruit, we couldn’t resist the chance of putting you on the case….”
Clara softly intoned, “Wow….”
Field Director Sikes then responded, “I know that this may seem strange for you to investigate your own father. But if you think about it—it only makes sense. You know his habits better than anyone else, you are the best judge of what is really going on here.”
The field director then continued, “Besides, this is also a great test of your loyalty to the company… If you can objectively keep a watch on your own dad without displaying any familial biases, we can rest assured that you are going to be one heck of a faithful colleague.”
The field director then asked dryly, as if he were simply asking someone to play a game of golf, “So what do you say? Are you in?”
9
The Assignment of a Lifetime
To say that Clara was thoroughly shocked to hear that her first assignment would be to spy on her own father would be an immense understatement. Yet, nevertheless despite the shock that ran through her at the thought of it, she had enough wherewithal about her to know that her best possible option in that moment was to accept.
She realized this for a wide variety of reasons. Of course, it would not bode well with her CIA handlers if she refused. If she did, she would not only be missing her first opportunity to be a field investigator, but it would also raise doubt as to whether or not she could be truly trusted and depended on, if push came to shove.
If she agreed to monitor her own father however, it would demonstrate that she was willing to do anything necessary to fulfill her duties as a CIA operative. But it was more than this that gave Clara reason to accept, she also knew that whether she accepted or not, some CIA operative somewhere would be tasked with taking a look at her dear old dad.
