There was no way I could ask her to come with us. Some guys brought their girls along with them on tours, but they were the ones who had lives they could easily leave behind or jobs they could take with them. It wasn’t like that with Leah. She was very focused on getting promoted at her dream job and achieving everything she set out for herself. It was just like me working hard to get further in my music career. It wouldn’t be fair to ask her to come along and leave all that behind. It would be like her asking me to stop playing music.
But would there be any point in even trying to keep things going if I did go on the tour? Could we really be apart for that long and still have a relationship left alive when I finally came back home at the end of the tour? A year was a long time to be apart. It wasn’t just a quick trip or a show or two. This was months and months away from each other. It was very likely there would be times when we weren’t even able to talk on the phone for a few days at a time because of our conflicting schedules. I worried there would be no way to keep up our connection if we were living separate lives like that.
But it wasn’t just about keeping up with a relationship or having a warm body to come home to when the long stretch of the tour was over. On the other end of the spectrum, I wasn’t worried about not wanting to think about her, or the inconvenience of a long-distance relationship when I was on the road with fans throwing themselves at me. There would be women at the shows. Groupies like Trixie, new fans, devotees of The Monsters who weren’t able to get their attention so they were willing to settle for anyone who could play music. It would be easy to bed a different woman every night if I wanted to. But I wasn’t going to want to. Thinking about Leah back home wasn’t going to hold me back or keep me from doing what I wanted to do, because I wasn’t going to want to be with anyone but her.
I was in love with her. That wasn’t even a question. I knew it with every fiber of my being. I wanted to be with her and really see where this relationship could take us. The thought of leaving her behind was painful and left me questioning everything. I didn’t want to leave her, but at the same time, I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. This was huge. Being able to open for The Monsters created a whole new world of potential for us. It put us in front of massive audiences that may never have heard of us in any other way. It gave us the chance to make an impression, reach out to new people, and network. This was a stepping stone to the type of success we wanted. I couldn’t just walk away from that.
I didn’t know what to do or how to handle the decision. By the time I got back to the apartment, the only thing I had decided was I couldn’t tell Leah yet. As much as I wanted to share my excitement with her and tell her all about this new opportunity, I didn’t want it to turn into the difficult, uncomfortable conversation I knew it would if I went into it without any idea of what we were going to do. She would ask questions I couldn’t answer and bring up issues I didn’t want to face.
Until I figured those things out, I wasn’t going to bring it up. I would wait until I figured out a workable solution and continue to see how things were going for us. There was still a little bit of time before the tour started. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to let me think and come to some decisions. Maybe it would work out better than I thought. Just because she couldn’t get on the bus and come along on the tour with me didn’t necessarily mean we had to be completely apart for the entire year.
Leah didn’t work all day every day. She had breaks, vacations, weekends. There were times when she would be able to slip away. Some of our travel days would bring us far distances between shows, but it wasn’t always that way. There were times when we would play a cluster of several shows right around in the same area. That would make it easy for her to take a few vacation days or plan a long weekend and come be with me. It wouldn’t be the same as being able to see each other every day, but it would at least give us something to keep the relationship alive.
Even with that, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Long-distance relationships never were. I knew more than a few guys who tried to keep things up with women in different cities. Most of the conversations we had about their girls were about how hard it was to not be near them and how much they missed them. Some fell victim to the women who swarmed the audiences and crowded around the doors at the end of the shows. They had feelings for their girls back home, but sometimes that just wasn’t enough to temper the craving for a warm body and some affection. Afterward they felt guilty and it hurt their relationship, their music, everything.
I wasn’t going to let that happen. Whatever it took, I was going to protect both my career and my relationship with Leah. I was going to make it work. The first thing I needed to do was find out the tour schedule. That would give me an idea of where we would be and when so I could figure out opportunities to connect. When I had a full plan laid out and could show her all the times we would be able to see each other, then I would tell her about the tour.
24
Leah
There was so much of a rush standing there in the audience, waiting for the show to start. It was unlike anything I’d experienced before I met Jayson. It wasn’t just the music. That was enough to get my blood pumping, but there was so much more to it than that. It was him. It was knowing he was there and created the throbbing sounds. He woke up the audience and sent them into a frenzy. Somehow watching that happen and knowing I was the one he was thinking about, that of all the girls in the audience screaming for him, I was the only one he was paying attention to, sent a thrill through me.
All around me, fans screamed and jumped up and down, trying to get the band’s attention. They weren’t even playing yet. The music around us was just a recording, warming us up for the live versions of the songs that would soon be playing. But the groupies didn’t care. Anything having to do with these men got them going. The other guys looked out over the crowd and winked or waved, not necessarily directing it at any specific girl. That was the point. They could cast a wide net and any of them who thought that little acknowledgement was thrown their way would come to them at the end of the show and they would have their pick.
Not Jayson. He focused on getting his drums adjusted and making sure he was ready to play. Then he looked up and our eyes met. A smile stretched across his face when I waved at him. He waved back and winked. I knew that wink was just for me.
“You’ve got it bad,” Piper said from beside me.
I looked over at her, then back at Jayson. He was back to concentrating on his drums, and I let out a breath, nodding.
“Yes, I do,” I admitted.
We watched for another few seconds before Piper leaned slightly toward me.
“Have you told him yet?” she asked.
Even though the people around us were loud and not paying any attention to us, she lowered her voice so no one would overhear. I appreciated the discretion. Of all things I’d tried to keep to myself throughout my life, this was one I wanted to protect above all others.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “But I’m going to do it soon.”
“Leah…” she started, and I pushed ahead, not wanting to hear her admonitions.
“I’m going to, Piper. It’s just not the right time, yet. Right now, I’m just enjoying being close to him. Nothing is going to be the same once I tell him. I just want to enjoy some time with him before everything changes,” I told her.
It made sense to me, and I wanted it to make sense to her. I needed that time. Our relationship was so good, and I had fallen so hard for Jayson. He made me happy like no one ever had and watching him climb through his career was amazing. It was fulfilling, and I couldn’t wait to see how much more he could accomplish. Telling him about the pregnancy would completely change everything. I still didn’t know how that change would unfold or what it would mean, but I knew it would change. I wanted to build a stronger foundation first.
“It won’t be much longer before you don’t really have the option to tell him,” Piper pointed out. “You don’t want to get to that
point. Tell him before he figures it out for himself.”
“I’m going to. I’m going to tell him soon.”
At that moment, I was saved from the awkward conversation by Luke jumping down off the stage and coming toward us. He was the only one of the four other than Jayson who might not have been throwing winks and blowing kisses to anyone who would look at him. His might have been directed at one specific person, and I knew just who that was.
There was a distinct swagger to his walk as he made his way up to Piper and grinned at her.
“Hey, Piper,” he said. “You look beautiful tonight.”
Piper looked down at the black jeans and plain white T-shirt she was wearing. I knew for a fact it was what she’d worn to work that day with the only change being taking off a cardigan. Working late meant she didn’t have a chance to put on anything else, and the ride over to the show only gave her enough time to take off the sweater and throw on some of the makeup I kept in my glove compartment for such emergencies. But it was a sweet sentiment.
“Thank you, Luke,” she said. “Are you excited for the show?”
“More excited now that I know you’re here,” he said.
They were slipping into flirting, and I couldn’t help but smile. Taking a step back, I gave them more space and watched. The bassist wasn’t a bad fit for my friend. He would be good to her, and it was obvious how much he liked her. I had to feel bad for him, though. Piper was basically torturing him. She went to the shows and danced, flirting with him from the audience and chatting with him after he played. But she never went home with him. That was going to take some time.
The thing was, I knew Piper was into Luke. She might not have ever come right out and said it, but I could see it when she looked at him and heard the way she talked about him. She just wasn’t easy. She definitely wasn’t one of the groupies or even just a casual fan who wanted a thrill. Piper thought of herself much more highly than that. She liked it when guys put in an effort and tended to carry it along for a while to see if they would be willing to keep it going. So far, Luke was doing a pretty good job. He made sure Piper knew he was thinking about her and gave her special attention. She hadn’t caught him with anyone else. I was feeling fairly confident they would hook up soon.
“You know, I’m not going to play as well on the road if you’re not there. You’re just going to have to come on tour with us,” Luke said.
At first, it sounded like he was teasing, but then I realized he was serious. My eyes widened.
“Wait, what?” I asked.
Luke looked over at me like he had forgotten I was even there. His eyes narrowed slightly.
“The tour,” he said. “Didn’t Jayson tell you?”
“Didn’t Jayson tell her what?” Piper asked, sounding slightly impatient and wanting to get the attention back on her.
It worked and Luke turned back to her with a wide smile.
“The Monsters have hired us to open for them on their national tour,” he told her.
Piper’s face lit up, and she gasped. “That’s incredible! Congratulations! I’m so excited for you. That means big things for you, right?”
Luke nodded. “Yeah, it does. The Monsters are really moving up, and we can ride their popularity right to the big times.”
Piper laughed and moved slightly closer to him, her flirting reaching epic new levels now.
“Does that mean I can get comped tickets since I know the band?” she asked.
She was clearly excited, and I had a feeling this revelation was going to put them on the fast track to something much more than flirting. But I was devastated. My mind was reeling, and I could barely even hear the conversation going on between them. Jayson hadn’t even mentioned the tour to me. This was huge, a major step in his career and the potential for the band, but he hadn’t said anything to me about it. Did that mean he didn’t even consider me worth knowing about it? Maybe he didn’t think it would matter.
But it was more than that. It wasn’t just about him not telling me about the tour or what that might mean about his feelings for me. There was no way he could be a father and also be on the road. These tours were long and intense. He would barely have enough time to himself to breathe and eat. He wouldn’t be able to be an active part of our baby’s life.
In that instant, all my plans changed. I wasn’t waiting for the perfect moment to tell him about my pregnancy anymore. I had to keep quiet about it and not let him ever know. Jayson was a good guy. If I told him about the baby, he wouldn’t want to leave me without his help. He would want to be there for the pregnancy and definitely after the baby was born. He might do something noble like insist on quitting the band so he didn’t have to go on tour. That would kill his dreams.
Of course, that wasn’t the worst that could happen. As much as I didn’t want to think about him giving up something he’d worked so hard for, what was even worse was thinking about him leaving me altogether. He could break up with me and disappear. That was a rejection I didn’t think I could handle.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the show. Every time Jayson looked at me, I tried to smile and look like I was enjoying myself, but I was distracted. After the show, we met outside and he brought me home.
Rather than walking me to my door, he took my hand and guided me to his apartment. As soon as we were inside, he gathered me in his arms and ducked his head down for a kiss. He moved his mouth to the side of my neck and kissed along it until he reached my ear.
“I’m going to spend the next several hours making long, slow love to you,” he whispered. He drew my earlobe into his mouth and bit down playfully. “I’m going to show you that every inch of your body belongs to me.”
I could have stopped him there. I could have pulled away from him and told him I knew about the tour. Or not. I could have just pulled away and told him not that night and we would talk the next day. But I couldn’t. He felt so good so close to me, and I didn’t want to be away from him. That night possibly more than ever before, I needed him.
My mouth found his and we kissed deeply. There was no rush, no urgency behind it. I didn’t want to waste even a second or hurry through any of the moments I had with him. This was to savor him, to enjoy every bit of him I could. I concentrated on the feeling of his hands on my body and the taste of his tongue sliding across mine. There was a faint hint of the drinks he’d had at the bar, and I knew I would always remember that taste. I wanted to memorize him, to etch into my memory every single detail I possibly could so that when the time came I was away from him and found myself missing him, I could call them to mind.
Because I knew that was it. This wasn’t going to be something I could carry on or try to work out. Jayson didn’t know it, but that night as I kissed him with everything in me and offered my body over to him, we were saying goodbye.
25
Jayson
Leah kissed me, pressing her body against mine and opening her mouth so I could taste the softness of her tongue. She wrapped her arms around my neck, digging her fingers into my hair as if trying to hold me closer and anchor herself to me. I held her against me, feeling the warmth of her body and the lushness of her curves.
I had plans for the night. It stretched on long in front of us, and I wanted to fill every second of it with worshipping her. My body craved her; my heart ached for her. She was mine, and I wanted to show her that so she wouldn’t have any way to question it. The journey we were on together was only getting better by the day, and I couldn’t wait to see what was ahead of us. As I guided her back into my bedroom, undressing her as we went, I no longer had even the hint of worry or fear about the tour coming up. It didn’t matter if we had to be away from each other between shows. It didn’t matter if we were only able to see each other for a few hours or a couple of days each time when she was able to get away. We would be fine. We would work it out. This was real, and nothing was going to take us apart.
We got into my bedroom, and I broke the kiss so I could
lower myself to my knees in front of her. I’d already gotten her shirt off on our way into the bedroom, and I leaned forward to kiss her stomach. My hands slid up her thighs and under her skirt, taking hold of her panties so I could guide them down her legs. Leah rested her hands on my shoulders to hold herself steady as she lifted her feet so I could remove the scrap of lace and toss it aside.
My mouth touched the inside of one ankle and made its way up along the inside of her leg until I found the tenderness just before her core. She shivered, but I didn’t give her the satisfaction she desired. Instead, I moved my mouth over to the other leg and repeated the trail of kisses. Leah moaned and her hands left my shoulders to release the zipper on her skirt. I tugged it away and finally she was completely bare. She was mine, vulnerable and beautiful. I’d never felt like this about a woman, and I just wanted it to continue. I would happily drown in the happiness I found with her.
Guiding her legs apart, I brought my mouth between her thighs and drew my tongue through her center. She let out a shuddering breath and dropped down into my arms. I gathered her close as I sat back, settling her into my lap. As our lips played against each other and my hand slipped into her slick warmth, I used my other hand to finish undressing.
Soon I was inside her, buried deep so our bodies melded to one another. I used one hand to rock her hips while the other swirled over her clit. Leah’s head fell back, and I quickly took my hand away. She looked at me with disappointment, and I smiled.
“Not yet. Slow. We have all night,” I whispered to her.
A distant look crossed her eyes, and for a moment, she looked sad. Then she leaned forward and brushed her lips across mine. I swept the tip of my tongue across them and bent my legs to hold her closer, filling as much of the space around our bodies as I could.
The Boy Next Door: A Standalone Enemies-to-Lovers Romance Page 13
