“I met her at Almack’s. I thought she was Tilly. But it was her daughter, traveling back in time? Did I actually care for her?” As soon as he thought he wrangled the memory it was gone.
“Indeed you did, but you cared for gold more. And you had quite a stash of it from what I’ve been told. Continuously growing, too. But then everyone’s memories were wiped clean by someone very powerful. More powerful than your would-be bride.” Milo tapped the side of his head and grinned. “But no one’s better at memory spells than yours truly. It took me a while, but I pulled them out from my beloved Gloria. A few others, too. It was all real. And I want what they had. I don’t like living in a smelly hovel. I much prefer the estate in the country with the fine cooks and maids galore.”
“I remember the estate,” Nick said wistfully. “Like I actually lived there.”
“You did, you ninny. Begging your pardon, but this is important. To both of us. And there are others on your side. We all want it back. That imperious brat was the glue that held us together and after she was gone it all fell apart. She got a second chance, why shouldn’t we? I can pause time on my end until you meet her again, but it won’t be easy because her harridan mother is hell-bent on changing her future.”
“Is that possible?” Nick’s mind reeled at what he heard but with every word he believed a bit more. “Tilly Jacobs is her mother?”
The disheveled man shrugged. “I’d prefer if it wasn’t possible. And it’ll be Lady Ashford soon.” He smiled. “How’s your nose, lad? It doesn’t look as if you lost any of your fine looks after the blow you took.”
Nick scowled and clenched his jaw. People were still tittering over that encounter of his with Ashford’s mistress, at least at the functions he was still welcome at.
“Lady Ashford? I can’t imagine that ill-mannered wench wielding such power.”
“Yes, let me tell you a bit about power. That investment I told you about?”
Nick nodded. “Yes, it’s working out a treat. I’m leaving for Italy in a few days.”
“That’s exactly where the fine lady wants you. Far, far away from her precious child. That investment was set up by Ashford, and the man who delivered it to you on a silver platter? That was Lady Ashford’s step-grandfather. You’re being played like a newly tuned fiddle, boy. Banished from the country with an allowance. A pittance compared to what you had in the future.”
Nick raked his fingers through his blond locks. “But why? What happened to make it all fall apart? I know Tilly’s not my greatest admirer but why did she so thoroughly destroy what we built?”
Milo paused, blinking rapidly. “That’s a mystery to me as well,” he said, clearing his throat. “Er, it’s perhaps I wasn’t as good at restoring memories as I thought, or it may be a paradox not letting anyone recall something since it will happen another way if we were to get another chance. Do you want another chance?”
Something told him to take the money and live quietly in Italy. Who would know where it came from? But something deeper and darker hissed at him to dredge up what was left of his pride and get revenge.
It grew until it was a thirst no amount of ale could quench. If those memories were real, and he felt quite sure they were as more kept popping into his mind without Milo’s help, he wanted that grand life. Why live quietly in a foreign land when people would bow down to him?
He thought of his brother Jeremy. The irritated look in his eyes whenever Nick had to confess a sin in order to have Jeremy get him out of trouble. The way he finally stopped lecturing him, completely giving him up as a wastrel. But if he could become a king? It would be quite a different look in his brother’s eyes then.
A laughing couple bumped into him, sending him clanging against the gates. The man apologized profusely after Nick shot him a stony glare. They hurried away, eager to get inside to the festivities.
“I chose a second chance and end up huddling outside Almack’s like a refugee,” he muttered.
He had no voucher. He was banned long ago. But all he had to do was meet her and Milo assured him the gears of time would click into their proper places. No amount of meddling from the high and mighty Ashfords could stop it this time. Not armed with knowledge as he was now.
But where were they? Milo had promised tonight. If it didn’t happen tonight, he had no choice but to leave for Italy. Once again he searched the crowd and finally saw light glinting off Milo’s bald head. A gray haired woman clung to his arm and a beauty swathed in blue shuffled a few feet behind them.
She did look remarkably like Tilly, but younger and sweeter. She most certainly wasn’t the brash tart who had broken his nose. His heart tugged at him to throw off this bizarre plan, take the ship to Italy.
Milo caught his eye and grinned and more memories rushed at Nick. The power, the ease of everything. And most of all, the gold. He leaned comfortably against the wall and nodded at Milo.
Chapter 19
As Ariana got jostled in the line, she began to worry the hex bag to make everyone think she was properly dressed wasn’t working. Noses flew into the air every time she made eye contact with anyone.
Gloria and Milo had disappeared and she stood on her toes to see if she could find them, thinking they couldn’t have gotten too far ahead of her. They were nowhere to be seen. Perhaps in Gloria’s eagerness to dance they magically cut the line and forgot all about her. Since she didn’t know any spells to do such a thing, she stayed where she was and kept her eyes cast downward.
The closer she got to the stiff matron checking the tickets, the more certain she was that it wouldn’t work and she’d be sent on her way in disgrace.
“Goodness, where’s your chaperone? You’re quite the brazen young miss this evening, raising eyebrows in every direction.” She whirled around to see a tall blond man grinning down at her. His grin instantly faded and he ducked his head. “I beg your pardon, I mistook you for someone I know.”
His wavy blond locks fell across his forehead and his eyes twinkled in the lights cast from the building. His clothes made her lose all thought for a second, all frills and embroidery. And tight. The buff colored breeches left little to the imagination and she felt her face heating up in the already warm night air.
His peacock blue coat was cut shorter than she was used to and the shiny silver buttons strained against his muscular chest. Her blushing face crinkled into a smile. He was the most marvelous specimen of manhood she’d ever seen, and he was a man. At least ten years older than her. She never felt more lacking in her life as she fought all her schoolgirl tendencies to giggle or gawk.
“Chaperone!” she squeaked. That was why everyone kept giving her judgmental stares. “I’m afraid I lost my escorts,” she said, dipping a curtsy. He was in the line for Almack’s after all. He had to be someone of import with those magnificent clothes and confident swagger. “Er, my name is Ariana Alexander. I hope that isn’t too forward, but as I have no one to properly introduce me at the moment and I’m not in the habit of speaking with strange men…” She trailed off and grimaced.
There went any chance of impressing him. If he hadn’t already deduced her age by her looks, her nervous rambling certainly gave it away.
“I hope you don’t find me strange,” he said with a throaty chuckle that sent a thrill up and down her spine. He stepped back and bowed deeply, swooping back up with a flourish. “I’m delighted to meet you, Miss Alexander. My name is Nicholas Kerr, but you must call me Nick. All my friends do.”
What was happening? What was happening? Was he some sort of rogue dandy, attempting to seduce her? She hoped so.
“Are we friends, then?” she said, aiming for coquettish.
By the way he gazed at her with his deep blue eyes, she thought she might be attractive to him as well. The little hex bag in her decolletage was working after all! As if reading her thoughts, his eyes dipped to that very area and she swore he looked appreciative.
“I certainly hope so.” He cocked his head to the side and studied he
r for so long she shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny. “Ah, I beg your pardon,” he said. “It’s only that you look so like someone I know. You don’t have a sister, do you? No, that can’t be right. She’s American and you’re clearly British.
Ariana stifled a gasp. He had to be speaking of her mother. This was the perfect opportunity to get some information. She put on her best American accent.
“I am American,” she said. “I’m half and half, actually. But I haven’t got a sister.”
She longed to blurt out that the woman he was thinking of was her mother and that she’d come from the future, but she wanted to keep talking to him. Even if she didn’t get any answers, she wanted to spend more time with this delightful man. She had to be subtle.
“Do you possibly mean Lady—” she stopped. Bugger, were they married yet? “Matilda Jacobs? You wouldn’t be the first person to tell me I resemble her.” That last part was true enough.
His eyes widened. “She is exactly who I mistook you for. She’s a great friend of mine.”
His last name finally clicked with her. “Are you related to Jeremy Kerr?” Jeremy was her father’s best friend. She’d seen him hundreds of times, even spent time at his property in Scotland. “Have you got a load of sisters as well?”
He nodded. “I do indeed, on all counts.”
His face told her he clearly didn’t want to discuss his family. The fact that she’d never met him before made her wonder if he was a bit of a black sheep. With a gasp, she wondered if he hadn’t lived that long. The thought of this handsome, charming man being cut down in the prime of his life twisted her heart.
The line moved up and she stood frozen as he looked down at her. For a brief second all the swagger left him and sadness showed in his brilliant blue eyes. The couple behind her made impatient noises for her to move up, but instead she stepped out of the line.
She didn’t want to be in that great crush of people, repetitively moving through dance steps with him. She wanted to know things he knew and even more, know him. Her heart sped up when he smiled.
Now there was something else in his eyes and she liked it far more than the melancholy. He looked as expectant as she felt. His smile widened and he held out his arm. She tucked her fingers into the crook of his elbow and returned his grin.
“Well, Nick, I hope you’re in the mood to gossip. I must know more about my doppelganger.”
He held open his jacket to reveal a silver flask. “Then let me offer you some refreshments while I tell you everything I know.”
***
When Owen was about five years old he fell out of his little row boat and into the pond. He was never supposed to be out there alone and the moment he hit the cold, enveloping water, he understood why his parents were so adamant about that rule.
Time seemed to slow down as the rushes at the bottom of the pond waved threateningly at him while they tangled about his arms and legs. He knew he was dead. Of course, a gardener saw him row out and had been about to holler at him to get his bum back to land or get it beaten. Instead the poor man ended up in the chilly water to fish him out. Owen lived, but still got the beating. But he always remembered the way everything slowed. That deep understanding that his life was over.
He felt exactly the same right now. The chilling glares everyone sent him were colder than the pond water. The rustling whispers were as threatening as the rushes. And time moved like molasses as Maria came toward him.
The look on her face told him everything. Her father grabbed her arm before she could reach him. He wouldn’t be able to explain. But what was there to explain? He heard a shriek somewhere off to his left but couldn’t tear his eyes away from Maria. With his hand still gripped around her arm, her father said something to her, a harsh glint in his eyes. She tried to wrench herself free from his grasp and for a mad moment, Owen wanted to rush to her defense. But her father shook her and shoved her toward the doors of the ballroom.
In two long strides, Mr. Winters was in front of him. “I expect you to leave my daughter alone,” he said, shaking his head. “You’ve humiliated her, deceived my family. I don’t think I need to tell you my permission to marry Maria is revoked.”
Owen mustered all his strength, trying to trick everyone in the room one last time. To save Maria the embarrassment of being made a fool, at least until he could explain to her in private. Make her understand he hadn’t meant it to go this far. He only wanted to feel more comfortable. He never thought he would fall in love with her and by then it was too late. The deception was in place.
He tried to make all of this known to her in the last glance he was able to give her before her mother whisked her away. Whatever powers he had earlier that day in Mr. Winters’ study had left him. It seemed no one was on his side.
“Please sir,” he began, on his own.
No words flowed from his mouth this time. His chest throbbed as he realized he really was losing Maria.
“Don’t,” Mr. Winters snapped. “Unless you can tell me what your cousin said is untrue, then don’t say another word.”
When Owen remained silent, he snickered and finally stalked away.
Owen was too stunned to speak. He could hardly breathe. His cousin? Ariana had done this? That couldn’t be right. Certainly she’d done horrible things to him before, but those were all childish pranks. No, it had to be a mistake.
He looked around for her and finally realized what an uproar there was on the other side of the room. Ariana’s friend Lottie was holding her face and sobbing loudly, surrounded by ladies. Perhaps he wasn’t the only subject of the rustling whispers.
“Owen, what’s this all about?” His mother pulled him toward a window seat, worry etched all over her face. He didn’t think how badly this would hurt his mother and it added a new layer to his anguish. “Are you engaged to Maria Winters?”
He had to say something. She looked so worried. “No mum,” he sighed, ashamed to feel tears prickling at his eyes. “Don’t listen to what anyone’s saying. It’s …”
He struggled to make up a story, something plausible so she wouldn’t believe the whispers. He had nothing. He laughed disgustedly. Where were all the easy words of the last few weeks? Those easy words had gotten him into this but they weren’t going to help him get out.
“Ariana’s angry at me, mum. I need to find her.”
She shook her head and grabbed his sleeve. “Leave her for a bit. She must be angry at more than just you. She hit that girl over there. Aunt Tilly went after her, so leave them be for now.”
He sank into the window seat and pulled the curtain around him, the tears streaming down his face in earnest now. She sat down beside him and tenderly patted his shoulder.
“I’ve thoroughly ruined everything,” he said.
If she heard the gossip, she did a good job of pretending she didn’t. “Nonsense. Ariana’s been mad at you before and she’ll get mad at you again. Is- is that all you’re upset about?”
He glanced over and saw the hopefulness in her eyes. He knew that she heard everything and now she wanted him to deny it. Deny he was ashamed of his family and lied to impress a girl. How he wanted to put his head in her lap and let her pet away the pain, but he didn’t deserve it. He denounced them the second he hexed Maria into believing something that wasn’t true.
“I’m so sorry, mum,” he said, choking on a sob.
She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. “Don’t cry,” she begged. “Everything will be all right. Your uncle will clear everything up. It’s all my fault for teasing you into thinking you had to marry a rich London girl.”
“I really love her, though.”
“I promise it will be all right.”
She squeezed harder and he heard her sniffle. Now he’d made his mother cry. He wiped his pathetic face and took a deep breath, bursting out of her embrace.
“It’s not yours or Uncle Julian’s to fix,” he said. “It was my doing and I’ll face it. But not now. I just want to go to my room
now.”
She looked at him long and hard. For a moment he thought she was going to pull rank on him she looked so distressed, but what could she do? Force him to believe everything would be fine so she could rest easy? The guilt added onto his heartache made him want to rent his clothes and gnash his teeth or something else equally biblical to rid himself of the terrible feelings.
“Go then, while that girl is still squalling and no one will pay you any mind. They’re bringing out the food soon so everyone’s spiteful tongues will be busy with something other than denigrating our family.”
He slithered away, feeling every eye in the place boring holes into his back. He meant to go to his room, but wanted to find out what had driven Ariana to pound the stuffing out of Lottie. If she was as miserable as him, they would certainly enjoy each other’s company. He met Aunt Tilly on the back stairs, who hugged him fiercely.
“You’re so precious to me,” she said. “You and your mother and father are my only family here.” She pulled away and gripped his shoulders, a wild gleam in her eyes. “Don’t forget that, and please forgive Ariana. She feels awful for what she did.”
He had never seen her so distraught. Confused, he nodded and trudged his way past her up the stairs. Then the confusion lifted like sunlight cutting through fog.
Ariana really must have been the reason everything fell apart. She probably said something to Lottie, then smacked her to try and keep her quiet. Then she confessed to Aunt Tilly, who thought he’d never forgive her. Well, he wasn’t sure he would. But he did mean to give her a piece of his mind. Whatever excuse she gave him wouldn’t stand.
He flung open her door after the briefest of knocks. He was so angry he didn’t care if she was in her nightclothes. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t seen each other in all forms of dress over the years. She wasn’t in her bed or at the dressing table and it took searching her wardrobe and under the bed to convince him she wasn’t in her room at all.
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