The Sum of All Kisses

by Julia Quinn

  Sarah grabbed her cousin’s hand. “Come with me,” she urged. “I’ll help you find her.”

  Honoria nodded limply, letting Sarah lead the way. They snaked through the crowds, trying to balance speed with discretion. Sarah did not want her cousin to be forced to speak with Hugh Prentice, but she would die before she allowed anyone to think that they were running from his presence.

  Which meant that she was going to have to stay. Perhaps even speak with him. Sarah would have to save face on behalf of the entire family.

  “There she is,” Honoria said as they approached the grand ballroom doors. Lady Winstead was standing in a small clutch of matrons, chatting amiably with Mrs. Dunwoody, their hostess.

  “She must not have seen him,” Sarah whispered. She wouldn’t have been smiling otherwise.

  “What shall I feign?” Honoria asked.

  “Fatigue,” Sarah said immediately. No one would doubt it. Honoria had turned ashen the moment she’d spied Hugh Prentice, setting the grayish smudges under her eyes into stark relief.

  Honoria gave a quick nod and dashed off, politely pulling her mother aside before whispering a few words in her ear. Sarah watched as the two of them made their excuses, then slipped out the door to the waiting line of carriages.

  Sarah let out a pent-up breath, relieved that her aunt and cousin would not have to come into contact with Lord Hugh. But every rainbow had a black and grimy lining, it seemed, and Honoria’s departure meant that Sarah was stuck here for at least an hour. It would not be long before the gossips realized that Lord Hugh Prentice was in the same room as a Smythe-Smith cousin. First there would be stares, and then whispers, and then everyone would be watching to see if they crossed paths, and did they speak, and even if they didn’t, which one would leave the party first?

  Sarah judged that she needed to remain in the Dunwoody ballroom for at least an hour before it no longer mattered who left first. But before any of that, she needed to be seen having a lovely time, which meant she couldn’t stand at the edge of the front hall by herself. She needed to find a friend with whom to chatter, and she needed someone to dance with her, and she needed to laugh and smile as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

  And she had to do all of that while making it perfectly plain that she did indeed know that Lord Hugh Prentice had wormed his way into the party and that she found him utterly beneath her notice.

  Keeping up appearances could be so exhausting.

  Luckily, within seconds of reentering the ballroom, she spied her cousin Arthur. He was dull as a stick, but he was dashingly handsome and always seemed to attract attention. More importantly, if she yanked on his sleeve and told him she needed him to dance with her immediately, he would do it, no questions asked.

  Upon completing her dance with Arthur, she directed him to steer her toward one of his friends, who then had no choice but to request her company in the ensuing minuet, and before she knew it, Sarah had danced four times in rapid succession, three of which with men of the sort who made a young lady look very popular. The fourth was with Sir Felix Farnsworth, who, sadly, had never made any lady look popular.

  But by that point, Sarah was becoming the sort of young lady who made the gentlemen look popular, and she was glad to lend a glow to Sir Felix, whom she had always been rather fond of, despite his unfortunate interest in taxidermy.

  She did not see Lord Hugh, but she did not know how he could have failed to see her. By the time she finished drinking a glass of lemonade with Sir Felix, she decided she had put on a good enough show, even if it hadn’t been a full hour since Honoria had departed.

  Let’s see, if each dance lasted about five minutes, with a bit of time in between, plus the brief chat with Arthur and two glasses of lemonade . . .

  Surely that equaled one family name restored. At least for this evening.

  “Thank you again for a lovely dance, Sir Felix,” Sarah said as she handed her empty glass to a footman. “I wish you the best of luck with that vulture.”

  “Yes, they’re great fun to pose,” he replied with an animated nod. “It’s all in the beak, you know.”

  “The beak,” she echoed. “Right.”

  “Are you leaving, then?” he asked. “I was hoping to tell you about my other new project. The shrew.”

  Sarah felt her lips move in an attempt to form words. Yet when she spoke, all that came out was “My mother.”

  “Your mother is a shrew?”

  “No! I mean, not ordinarily.” Oh, good heavens, it was a good thing Sir Felix was not a gossip, because if this got back to her mother . . . “What I meant to say is that she is not a shrew. Ever. But I need to find her. She specifically told me she wanted to leave before . . . ehrm . . . well . . . now.”

  “It is near to eleven,” Sir Felix supplied helpfully.

  She gave an emphatic nod. “Precisely.”

  Sarah said her farewells, leaving Sir Felix with Cousin Arthur, who, if he wasn’t interested in shrews, at least put on a good show of it. Then she set off in search of her mother to let her know that she wished to depart earlier than planned. They didn’t live far from the Dunwoodys; if Lady Pleinsworth was not ready to leave, it should not prove difficult for the Pleinsworth carriage to transport Sarah home and then return for her mother.

  Five minutes of searching did not reveal Lady Pleinsworth’s whereabouts, however, and soon enough Sarah was muttering to herself as she tromped down the corridor to where she thought the Dunwoodys had a gaming room.

  “If Mama is playing cards . . .” Not that Lady Pleinsworth couldn’t afford to lose a guinea or two in whatever it was that matrons played these days, but still, it seemed rather unfair that she’d be gambling away while Sarah was saving the family from utter embarrassment.

  Caused by her cousin, while he’d been gambling.

  “Ah, irony,” she murmured. “Thy name is . . .”

  Thy name was . . .

  Thy name could be . . .

  She actually stopped walking as she frowned. Apparently irony’s name was some word she couldn’t think of.

  “I am pathetic,” she muttered, resuming her search. And she wanted to go home. Where the devil was her mother?

  Soft light shone from a partially open doorway just a few feet ahead. It was rather quiet for a card game, but on the other hand, the open doorway would seem to indicate that whatever Sarah walked in on, it would not be too inappropriate.

  “Mama,” she said, walking into the room. But it wasn’t her mother.

  Irony’s new name was apparently Hugh Prentice.

  She froze in the doorway, unable to do anything but stare at the man sitting by the window. Later, when she was reliving every awful moment of the encounter, it would occur to her that she could have left. He wasn’t facing her, and he didn’t see her; he wouldn’t see her unless she spoke again.

  Which of course she did.

  “I hope you’re satisfied,” she said coldly.

  Lord Hugh stood at the sound of her voice. His movements were stiff, and he leaned heavily on the arm of the chair as he rose. “I beg your pardon?” he said politely, regarding her with an expression that was completely devoid of emotion.

  He did not even have the decency to appear uncomfortable in her presence? Sarah felt her hands turn to rocky little fists. “Have you no shame?”

  This elicited a blink, but little else. “It really depends on the situation,” he finally murmured.

  Sarah searched her repertoire for suitable exclamations of feminine outrage, finally settling on “You, sir, are no gentleman.”

  At that, she finally gained his full attention. His grass-green eyes met hers, narrowing ever-so-slightly in thought, and it was then that Sarah realized—

  He did not know who she was.

  She gasped.

  “Now what?” he muttered.

  He didn’t know who she was. He had bloody well ruined her life, and he didn’t know who she was?

  Irony, thy name was about to be cursed. />
  Chapter Three

  How They Met

  (the way he remembers it)

  In retrospect, Hugh thought, he should have realized that the young woman standing before him was unhinged when she declared him no gentleman. Not that it wasn’t the truth; for all that he tried to behave as a civilized adult, he knew that his soul had been black as soot for years.

  But really . . . “You, sir, are no gentleman” directly following “I hope you’re satisfied” and “Have you no shame?”

  Surely no adult of reasonable intelligence and sanity would be so redundant. Not to mention trite. Either the poor woman had been spending too much time at the theater, or she’d convinced herself she was a character in one of those awful melodramas everyone was reading lately.

  His inclination was to turn on his good heel and depart, but judging by the wild look in her eyes she’d probably follow, and he wasn’t exactly the speediest fox in the hunt these days. Best to tackle the problem head-on, so to speak.

  “Are you unwell?” he asked carefully. “Would you like me to fetch someone for you?”

  She sputtered and fumed, her cheeks turning so pink he could see the deepening color even in the dim light cast by the sconces. “You . . . You . . .”

  He took a discreet step away. He did not think she was literally spitting her words, but with the way her lips were pressing together, he really could not be too careful.

  “Perhaps you should sit down?” he suggested. He motioned to a nearby settee, hoping she would not expect him to help her get there. His balance was not what it once was.

  “Fourteen men,” she hissed.

  He could not even begin to wonder what she was about.

  “Did you know that?” she asked, and he realized she was shaking. “Fourteen.”

  He cleared his throat. “And only one of me.”

  There was a moment of silence. A moment of blessed silence. Then she spoke.

  “You don’t know who I am, do you?” she demanded.

  Hugh regarded her more closely. She looked vaguely familiar, but logically speaking, this meant nothing. Hugh did not socialize very often, but there were only so many members of the ton. Eventually every face would look familiar.

  If he had remained at this evening’s gathering for more than a few moments, he might have learned her identity, but he had left the ballroom almost as quickly as he’d found it. Charles Dunwoody’s expression had turned ashen when Hugh had offered his felicitations, leaving Hugh to wonder if he had lost his last friend in London. Finally Charles pulled him aside and informed him that Daniel Smythe-Smith’s mother and sister were present.

  He had not asked Hugh to leave, but then again, they’d both known he’d not needed to. Hugh had immediately bowed and retreated. He’d caused those two women enough pain. To remain at the ball would have been nothing short of spiteful.

  Especially since he couldn’t bloody well dance.

  But his leg had hurt, and he hadn’t felt like pushing through the line of carriages outside to find a hired hack, at least not right away. So he’d made his way to a quiet salon, where he’d been hoping to sit and rest in solitude.

  Or not.

  The woman who had intruded upon his refuge was still standing just inside the doorway, her fury so palpable that Hugh was almost prepared to reexamine his beliefs on the possibility of spontaneous combustion of the human form.

  “You have ruined my life,” she hissed.

  That he knew to be untrue. He had ruined Daniel Smythe-Smith’s life, and by extension possibly that of his unmarried younger sister, but this darkly brunette woman in front of him was not Honoria Smythe-Smith. Lady Honoria had much lighter hair, and her face wasn’t nearly as expressive, although the deep emotion on this woman could easily have been brought on by insanity. Or, now that he thought on it, drink.

  Yes, that was far more likely. Hugh was not sure how many glasses of ratafia were required to intoxicate a woman of approximately nine stone, but clearly she’d managed it.

  “I regret that I have distressed you,” he said, “but I’m afraid you have confused me with someone else.” Then he added—not because he wanted to but rather because he had to; she was bloody well blocking the corridor and clearly needed some sort of verbal nudge to be on her way—“If I may be of any further assistance . . .”

  “You may assist me,” she spat, “by removing your presence from London.”

  He tried not to groan. This was getting tedious.

  “Or from this world,” she said venomously.

  “Oh, for the love of Christ,” he swore. Whoever this woman was, she’d long since sacrificed any obligation he had to speak as a gentleman in her presence. “Please” —he bowed, with flair and sarcasm in equal measure—“allow me to kill myself at your tender request, O unnamed woman whose life I have destroyed.”

  Her mouth fell open. Good. She was speechless.

  Finally.

  “I would be happy to fulfill your bidding,” he continued, “once you get out of my WAY.” His voice rose to a roar, or rather, his version of a roar, which was more of a malevolent growl. He thrust his cane into the empty space at her left, hoping its jabbing presence would be enough to convince her to step to the side.

  Her breath sucked the air from the room in a loud gasp worthy of Drury Lane. “Are you attacking me?”

  “Not yet,” he muttered.

  She snarled. “Because I wouldn’t be surprised if you attempted it.”

  “Neither,” he said, eyes slitting, “would I.”

  She gasped again, this one a short little puff far more in keeping with her role as an offended young lady. “You, sir, are no gentleman.”

  “So we have established,” he bit off. “Now then, I am hungry, I am tired, and I want to go home. You, however, are blocking my sole means of egress.”

  She crossed her arms and widened her stance.

  He tilted his head and considered the situation. “We appear to have two choices,” he finally said. “You can move, or I can push you out of the way.”

  Her head bobbed to the side in what could only be described as a swagger. “I’d like to see you try.”

  “Remember, I’m no gentleman.”

  She smirked. “But I have two good legs.”

  He patted his cane with some affection. “I have a weapon.”

  “Which I’m fast enough to avoid.”

  He smiled blandly. “Ah, but once you move, there will be no obstruction.” He indulged himself with a midair twirl of his free hand. “Then I may be on my way, and if there is any God in our heaven, I shall never lay eyes upon you again.”

  She didn’t exactly step out of the way, but she did seem to lean slightly to one side, so Hugh took the opportunity to thrust his cane out as a barrier and shove his way past her. He made it out, too, and in retrospect he really should have kept going, but then she yelled, “I know exactly who you are, Lord Hugh Prentice.”

  He stopped. Exhaled slowly. But he did not turn around.

  “I am Lady Sarah Pleinsworth,” she announced, and not for the first time he wished he knew how to better interpret ladies’ voices. There was something in her tone he didn’t quite understand, a little catch where her throat might have closed, just for a millisecond.

  He didn’t know what that meant.

  But he did know—he certainly did not need to see her face to know it—that she expected him to recognize her name. And as much as he wished he did not recognize it, he did.

  Lady Sarah Pleinsworth, first cousin to Daniel Smythe-Smith. According to Charles Dunwoody, she had been quite vocal in her fury over the outcome of the duel. Much more so than Daniel’s mother and sister, who, in Hugh’s opinion, had a far more valid claim to anger.

  Hugh turned. Lady Sarah was standing just a few feet away, her posture tight and furious. Her hands were fisted at her sides, and her chin was jutting forward in a manner that reminded him of an angry child, trapped in an absurd argument and determined to stand her gr
ound.

  “Lady Sarah,” he said with all due politeness. She was Daniel’s cousin, and despite what had transpired in the last few minutes, he was determined to treat her with respect. “We have not formally met.”

  “We hardly need—”

  “But nonetheless,” he cut in before she could make another melodramatic proclamation, “I know who you are.”

  “Apparently not,” she muttered.

  “You are cousin to Lord Winstead,” he stated. “I know your name if not your face.”

  She gave a nod—the first gesture she’d made that even hinted of civility. Her voice, too, was slightly more tempered when she spoke again. But only slightly. “You should not have come tonight.”

  He paused. Then said, “I have known Charles Dunwoody for over a decade. I wished to congratulate him on his betrothal.”

  This did not seem to impress her. “Your presence was most distressing to my aunt and cousin.”

  “And for that I am sorry.” He was, truly, and he was doing everything he could to set things right. But he could not share that with the Smythe-Smiths until he met with success. It would be cruel to raise the hopes of Daniel’s family. And perhaps more to the point, he could not imagine they would receive him if he paid a call.

  “You’re sorry?” Lady Sarah said scornfully. “I find that difficult to believe.”

  Again, he paused. He did not like to respond to provocation with immediate outburst. He never had, which made his behavior with Daniel all the more galling. If he hadn’t been drinking, he would have behaved rationally, and none of this would have happened. He certainly would not have been standing here in a darkened corner of Charles Dunwoody’s parents’ home, in the company of a woman who had obviously sought him out for no other reason than to hurl insults at his head.

  “You may believe what you wish,” he replied. He owed her no explanations.

  For a moment neither spoke, then Lady Sarah said, “They left, in case you were wondering.”

  He tilted his head in query.

  “Aunt Virginia and Honoria. They left as soon as they realized you were here.”