by Vera Roberts
“Yeah.” I reply again and she rolls her eyes. “It’s cute.”
“Are you talking to boo-thang?” Hayley smirks as she admires herself.
“No,” I shake my head as I keep scrolling through his feed. He has the typical pics of sunsets, various dishes I’m assuming his chef made, and the typical white boy things like posing with his friends and watching whatever game on TV. Cameron lives a rather plain and boring life, which is vastly different to who he is in real life. “I’m stalking his IG.”
“Might as well as add him since you’re dating him now.” Hayley shrugs as she looks at herself in the mirror. “Might as well make it official.”
“One date and several phone calls is nothing official.” I counter. “It just means we’re digging each other.”
Hayley stares at me for a long minute and I feel like I’m under Claire Huxtable’s gaze. “Yeah, okay.” She doesn’t believe me and honestly, I don’t believe me, neither.
But I’m not Cameron’s girlfriend and adding him is going to do what? His comments are filled with either girls lusting after him, haters going after his father, or the fellow bros talking about how clean he looks.
Where would I fit? The lusty girl who’s so hot and bothered, she has to dunk her phone in ice? I’m not a fan of Cameron’s father and his politics tells me everything I need to know about how he really feels about black folks.
It makes me wonder why Cameron is so interested in me if he knows how his father really feels? Am I some sort of gotcha back at dear old Dad? Or is Cameron really feeling me?
“If you follow him and it doesn’t work out, just unfollow and unblock.” Hayley shrugs. “I don’t know why you’re making it more than what it really is, Tay.”
Because I’m neurotic and emotional is what I really want to say. I don’t say it because I know Hayley will just agree. Bitch. “I guess you’re right.” I shrug.
“Nah, I know I’m right.” Hayley sits next to me and gawks at my phone. She swipes up and clicks on a few photos. She reads the comments and bristles at some of them. “Are we certain this is the same Cameron we met at the club?”
“We are.” I deadpan. What I’m seeing online and what I know in person seem like two different people. Or is it? I can honestly say I don’t know that much about Cameron. “He’s pretty quiet online, though. He never posts political beliefs. He only talks about his favorite music and engages in playful discussions about his favorite rappers.” I scroll down to another controversial posting he made. “He did say Black Lives Matter when it wasn’t popular to say.”
“With all of those black folks he hangs around, he better be about that life.” Hayley giggles and I follow. “Just follow him, Tay. If he claims you, cool. If not, you know where you stand. Not rocket science, babe.” She leaves to go change.
I stare down at Cameron’s profile for good measure. Why am I so antsy about a simple action? I guess it wouldn’t hurt to follow him. He has so many followers, I doubt he’ll even care.
Swallowing my pride, I press the follow button. Now it’s official. Cameron’s not-quite girlfriend but more than a friend is following him. Am I going to be disappointed when he doesn’t follow me back? How much will I really care now that I’m in my senior year?
A moment later as Hayley was checking out, I received my answer: Cameron followed me back.
~~~~~~
It feels like I’m in a brothel.
I’m in the living room as both bedroom doors are closed. Meadow has someone from her harem in her room, while Hayley is using our shared bedroom to entertain Que. She was showing off the outfits she bought with his money but I’m not a fool. It doesn’t take two hours to go through just six outfits.
I’m in the living room with my headphones on, hoping I quieted out every moan, bed creak, and wall pounding. I don’t even dare to remove them unless I know for certain no one is doing any freak shit.
While my girls are getting their backs blown out to smithereens, I’m in the living room studying for my psychology exam. I doubt I’ll even remember half of this crap once I leave college but it’s good to have. I’ve already diagnosed a few people from a distance but I can’t honestly say if they’re serial-killer crazy or if they just need to lay off the ooh-wee and get some fresh air.
I’m at the point in the book where they’re talking about the difference between a narcissist, borderline personality disorder, and antisocial. It’s weird how all three are semi-connected but they’re all vastly different from each other.
I think about my mother and where she would play within all of this. Narcissist definitely comes to mind. The last time I kept up with her, Laurie was about to go to Bali to look at the sunset there. She could easily look at the sunset here in Atlanta, but I guess Bali is more exotic and she wouldn’t get questions about why she wouldn’t be attending my graduation.
I wonder how different my life would be if Laurie decided to stay with my dad and raise me. Would we be best friends? Would we be butting heads every chance we got? Would we have gone on shopping sprees and have tea time parties? Or would we have been enemies?
As crazy as this sounds, I’m even jealous of my friends who have awful relationships with their parents. At least they know where they stand at any given time. I don’t have any closure; just a whole lot of ‘what ifs.’
Odd Future blares in my ears as I focus on my studying. Reminiscing over my Mommy issues isn’t going to make suddenly pass this class. I need to focus so I get the hell out of Clark Atlanta so I can help Daddy manage his coffee shops.
It’s crazy how my future is already mapped out before I’m even out of college. I’m going to run Daddy’s shops until he retires. Somewhere along the way, I’ll probably get married, pop out some kids, and live somewhere nice and comfortable.
It sounds incredibly boring and predictable. Safe, if you will.
Maybe that’s the future my mother saw and decided she wanted no parts of it. She probably knew she was going to wake up every morning and do the same shit on the regular and decided she needed more than just worrying about a certain type of coffee in stock.
I’m already depressing myself and I’m not even 21 yet. Studying is not in my future and I quickly close my book. I pick up my phone to see if anything monumental happened within the last two hours and my phone is dry as hell. Either I’m that boring or my friends are doing everything but studying.
I knew I was lame, but even this is a first for me.
I’m tempted to call Cameron. Would I come off too desperate? I followed him and he followed me back; that was good enough, right? It’s a Thursday afternoon and he’s probably…oh hell, I don’t even know what he could be doing.
He’s probably not wasting time over my wack ass, I could probably guess.
I went outside for some fresh air when my phone rang. I smiled to see it was Cameron on the other end. I did the standard wait so it didn’t appear I was desperate to hear from him, then I picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“There’s my favorite girl,” his deep voice purrs over the phone and desire hummed in my panties. “How are you, baby?”
“I’m doing better now.” I sigh. “Long afternoon of trying to study but I just don’t care.”
“Mmm…I don’t like it when baby girl is unhappy.” He hissed out. “Can I be a distraction this once?”
“Gladly.”
~~~~~~~
We walked along East Lake Park, fingers interlocked on a beautiful Atlanta autumn day. Cameron is dressed casual with a V-neck green shirt and jeans. The outline of his muscular body is more pronounced and I’m a little pissed we’re outdoors with people around.
“I have a question,” I decide how bad I want to ruin this special moment between us. I’ve already come this far so fuck it. “Your post earlier? That line you used? What was that from?”
“I thought a child of 80’s music would’ve recognized a lyric from the best-selling album of all time.” His brown eyes twinkle at me. “Lady in My Life
.”
“Michael Jack.” I nod. “Of course.”
“I remember college days. A lot of studying. A lot of partying.” Cameron went to Brown university. It still surprises me he went to a prestigious Ivy League school considering he didn’t have to go to school at all. “You’re almost there.”
“Just over it,” I shrug. “I only have a semester left and it feels like forever.”
“Fatigue,” he answers and kisses my hand. The sensation warms in my heard and travels all the way down south. “You’re tired of it and you just want to finish but you also don’t know where to go from here.”
“That’s exactly it.” I let out s small breath. “I’m just stressed out. I have all that work to prepare for, my birthday is coming up, and my dad is getting harassed about selling his property…it’s just a lot right now.”
“Your birthday is coming up?” He glances over at me and I shrug.
“I don’t like to make a big deal about my birthday. It’s not…” Important. Special. Anything I want to remember. All of the above. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s your birthday,” he nudges and I shrug again. “Your 21st birthday. That’s kind of a big deal, Taylor.”
“I just…” I look away and watch the kids on the playground. A mother is chasing her young son. I can’t believe I’m jealous of a child. “I never really had anything to celebrate.”
Cameron stands next to me and sees my view. He grips my hand tighter. “Your mom?”
I shake my head in frustration. “Every birthday, my dad threw me a huge party. Every time it came to blow out the candles, I wished for her to reappear and stay. She promised me she would be around for my sixteenth birthday, only to never show up. She made another promise for the eighteenth with the same results. She briefly said something like she was going to pay for a ticket for me to go to London for my 21st because I guess that’s where she’s at now or going to be.” Tears threaten my eyes and I blink them back. “So, I’m not really a fan of birthdays.”
There’s silence between us and my mind goes into overdrive about my diarrhea mouth. I spoke too much. I ruined a good afternoon and turned it into a ‘woe is me’ fest that I was trying to avoid. Next time I’ll just shut up when Cameron asks about my birthday plans, if he does ask again.
He stands in front of me and lifts my eyes to his gaze. “I’m going to do something nice for your birthday.” He declares it without argument.
My heart warms and I try not to smile too hard. “And what are you going to do?”
He caresses my face and cups it. I kiss the inside of his wrist and he moans his reaction. “I know a spot.”
Seven
“HE’S TAKING YOU TO NEW YORK?!”
I shrug and calmly look at the bag to see what I’m going to wear. The spot that Cameron knew was a whole-ass ‘nother state. We’re only going to be in Harlem for three days, but I feel like I need a different outfit for every meal we’re going to have, if that makes sense to anyone but me.
“Yeah,” I stare down at my suitcase and wonder if I really need ten pairs of underwear for a three-day trip. You can never have enough panties. “I’m excited. I’ve never been to New York before!”
Hayley folds her arms and stares down at my suitcase. “You’ll need your hair wrap. Don’t forget all of your skincare. Pack light makeup if you can.”
“And that’s why you’re my bestie.” I quickly rush to the bathroom and gather the items, packing them neatly in the suitcase. “We’re staying in a suite but separate rooms. His suggestion.” I hastily added.
“Separate rooms, huh?” Hayley folded her arms. “I don’t see the point of that, but it’s your life.”
Hayley has been getting her back blown out on a regular basis by Que. I’m glad they’ve finally moved their business to his brownstone instead of taking up sleep time in my bedroom. It’s bad enough Hayley comes home all bowlegged and shit.
“He respects my space,” I defended Cameron, “and I think it’s a sweet gesture.”
“I think it’s a gay one, but what do I know?” Hayley blinks. “So, I guess you’re bringing no lingerie or any of that?”
I didn’t think to bring lingerie. Well, let me be honest – I don’t own any. So, why would I bring some? “I don’t have any.”
“Um, you need some lingerie, missy.” Hayley sat on the bed as I finished packing. “Isn’t there a spot you could go to while you’re out there?”
“I’m sure there is. I’m not worried about it.” I sat next to her and lean my head on her shoulder. “What if I say no and he dumps me? How am I going to get home?”
“I’m sure he won’t dump you because he’ll respect you. Gay Man got you two separate rooms.” Hayley snickered and I roll my eyes. “Real talk, it’ll be fine. As long as you two are communicating, ain’t no thang.”
“It ain’t no thang.” I get a notification from my cell and see it’s Cameron telling me he’s on his way. “He’s coming soon.” I pause for a beat. “Has Que ever told you how he and Cameron know each other?”
“They grew up together,” Hayley shrugs, “and they have the same stuff in common but that’s the extent of it. Why you ask?”
I shake my head. “I get the feeling Cam isn’t being completely honest with what he does but I don’t know for sure.”
Hayley chuckles. “Well, what do you think he does?”
“I have no clue.” My voice is soft and full of uncertainty. “But I just get the feeling there’s more to him than he’s willing to admit.”
“And now you have an entire weekend to drill him on that between the times he drills you.” Hayley laughs and I shrug off the sexual innuendo. “Nah, but for real, just ask him. He’ll be legit with you. What does he have to hide? Everyone knows who his daddy is!”
That was the problem. Everyone knew who Cameron’s father was. That would be the main reason why Cameron wouldn’t be completely honest.
~~~~~~
There’s rich and then there’s wealth. Cameron and his family are definitely wealthy. As I lay down in the bed, my only thought is how I didn’t know private jets could have bedrooms.
Cameron and Que greeted me and Hayley at our apartment and they took us to the airport, where a private jet awaited us. Que and Hayley drove the Rolls Royce back after we said goodbyes and promised to pick us up on Sunday.
Cameron said he had to take care of some boring business and I left him to go lay down in the back. I know he told me he owned several businesses but I just feel there was more to it. Were all of the businesses legit? Or was he just telling me something to leave him alone?
I’m not sure how much I should care about any of this. What Cameron does with his money is truly his business and I’m reaping the benefits of this. I just hope I can quiet this nagging feeling in my gut like there’s something more.
Just as I was about to settle in for a nap, I hear the bedroom door briefly open and close. I lift up my head and see Cameron walk in. He looks so damn good in his t-shirt and jeans, like it’s a staple in his closet and he doesn’t veer too far from it.
He removes his shoes and settles in the bed with me. I turn around and he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. We’ve kissed and made out plenty of times, but this is the most intimate we’ve ever been.
I thought my heart would be pounding and racing, but it’s not. I’m safe. I’m happy. And I’m with my man. I place my palm on his heart and feel how it’s rapidly beating, like he just ran a marathon. Yet, he’s so calm, cool, and collected.
“What’s on your mind, beautiful?” He studies my eyes as he softly blinks.
“Are you okay?” I ask and he nods. “Your heart is racing.”
His brown eyes softened a bit, but I still see a vein firmly popped out of his neck. His face may say one emotion but the rest of his body says something opposite. “Had a tense meeting but I’m better now.” He kisses the tip of my nose and I purr in response.
What meeting could Camero
n’d have forty thousand feet in the air? “Okay,” Cameron is dropping the subject and in turn, so do I. “What are we going to do in New York?”
“Whatever you want. I have a few places I want to take you.” He interlocks fingers with mine. “We’re going to meet up with some friends later and then we’ll have the whole weekend to ourselves and whatever you want to do.”
“Sounds wonderful.” Cameron wraps his arm around my back and rubs it.
His hands are warm and soft and I feel so secure with him holding me. I feel protected like he would never let anything come to harm me. I’ve never felt that way about anyone before, but I never had the opportunity, neither.
“How much longer do we have until we land?” I ask.
“About three hours or so.” His eyes are closed and he looks super comfortable.
“Okay.” I pause and wonder if I’m really about to do what I’m leaning towards. I decide YOLO. “Cam?”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve never sucked dick before.”
Cameron’s eyes slowly open and he just stares at me with obvious question marks behind the irises. “Okay.”
“I’m just saying if you’re expecting me to be an expert, I’m not. I just…” My eyes look everywhere but Cameron’s face since he’s boring holes into my body. “…I don’t want you to get back to the hotel and think I’m going to be some porn star and blow you away in bed because I’m not.”
Cameron gently grabs my face and pulls me to his gaze. “I have no expectations of you, Tay. I told you this was a no-pressure weekend and I still stand by that.”
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I held. “Okay. I just wanted you to realize what the deal was.”
“I understand.” He pauses. “Have you ever had your pussy eaten before?”
A weird swirl of emotions course through my body. Anticipation, nervousness, arousal, and surprisingly, delirium. My head is spinning, yet I don’t feel dizzy. “No, I haven’t.”
“Would you like it if I did it for you?” He asks.
