by Marie Hall
"I counted the paces. It is sixty-three to the wall. I took three more than that every time. I am sorry," she finished, holding her breath and ready to be flipped over and soundly thrashed.
"You counted the paces?" He snorted then tried to clear his throat. "Purposely went three paces beyond the wall."
"Xavier?" He leaned further to the side and tried to catch her eye, but she tucked her chin down more. "Xavier, I… Sometimes, I mean every time, I turned back to face the house and I… made a few rude jesters, stuck my tongue out."
That undid the last of his restraint, his bellowing laughter filled the room and nearly toppled her from his lap. "Of course you did. Such defiance," he sputtered out between gasps for air. "I can hope for such acts be so perfectly measured. Did you do anything else, my lady, to put me in my place so well?"
She wasn't sure what he meant. If he already somehow knew, and she denied things again… "No, I do not think… well, I did throw some rocks at the wall thinking of them, you."
"Heaven help me," he gasped and sucked in several breaths trying to rein in his humor. "Of course you did. Of course you did." He settled them back into the chair and wrapped his arms around her, still chuckling. "You scold."
Io could say nothing. But she managed a good huff at his insult which only made him start laughing all over again.
"We will get through this, Io. We will get through everything, as long as you never change."
His words gave her the comfort she needed. She leaned against him and closed her eyes.
Chapter 19
Io wrung the cloth out before spreading it open and wiping it across her face. Leaning her head back on the rim of the tub, she sighed. The water was long cold, and the heat from the fire no longer warded off the chill. She'd have to get out and dry off. But the calm soaking gave her wasn't something she wanted to yield just yet.
The last week… the thought made her eyes fill with tears. Not even knowing she'd saved a few, both from the hangman and from the whip, helped. She couldn't yet reconcile the necessity everyone around her insisted the punishments were valid with the fact that no one had truly been hurt by any actions of the condemned. Nor could she hold her head up and meet the eyes of those who served here, even when all insisted they served willingly.
Not even when the twelve men, twelve not five like she thought, stood before her and announced they'd no intention of ever leaving this house because they didn't believe they'd ever find a better lord and lady to serve, could Io find solace.
She tried to make her husband rescind the orders to execute the ten people he'd charged with treason. She stood at the foot of the gallows and argued for their lives even as the ropes were placed around their necks. She'd fallen on her knees at her husband's feet and begged for him to have mercy even as both Landon, who been the one who'd locked her in, and Christopher, who'd not only driven spikes in her saddle causing her to be thrown but had been caught outright stealing things from the house and carrying them to Lady Charlotte who still waited in Paxtire, cursed and threatened her life up until the moment theirs was taken. Xavier's understanding of mercy towards anyone who threatened her was a quick death. That he'd chosen, for her sake, not to torture the criminals to death as he'd have preferred was his only showing of mercy. He was in those few hours, the very devil he was reported to be.
The several who'd gone under the lash for lesser crimes of disloyalty, had also chosen to stay on and serve the house, at a lesser status than they held before. But Io had no idea how things settled out because, until this morning when Xavier came in and stripped the covers from her, she'd hardly left the bed, and she'd not left the chambers at all. Only his threats of punishment even made her sit up. They were tempered greatly with gentle touches and teasing looks and Io knew the only person she hurt with her sulking and self-pity was her husband.
He'd chosen her over everyone, turned against those in his service so she might have a house to claim as hers, only to have her refuse to make the claim he'd fought for her to have. Hiding away was the act of a coward, and she'd given her word she'd not be one. So today, she'd gotten up, dressed and made her way through the house to assess what needs there could be and if anyone really wanted her as mistress.
She been flooded by people wanting her direction and attention the moment she showed herself in the hall. Questions flew at her from everywhere about so many different concerns. And each time she'd give answers, input or suggestions, she was rewarded with smiles, words of thanks and praise that she was again running the house. She'd heard that praise when she sat for the last meal of the day in the hall. Xavier missed the meal, having a need to attend some matter outside the gates at the last minute, but those in attendance talked and laughed and repeated their gratitude for being a member of the house.
"I want no one to die for me. Not ever," Io said to them when the condemned were lined up waiting to die. She'd repeated it again and again as each had their crimes read out publicly and their sentence to die announced.
"That is why we willingly would, my lady," Heslin, one of the guards who'd almost hanged said when he stepped up and pulled her from her knees. "We would fight to the death and know it is an honor to do so." He must have seen her lack of understanding because he went on. "There are nobles, my lady, who find enjoyment in death and destruction. They have no regard for the lives of those who serve them. That you are so opposed to this, even in matters of your own welfare, tells all of us how you respect us. Should you ask us take up swords, risk our lives for you, you would do it only as the very last resort. It would be a command given with great reserve and consideration. You are the very kind of nobility every man prays to serve."
Io recalled those words over and over as she watched the people interacting with each other in the hall. The snippets of conversation only bolstered Heslin's statement as did the continued ease she felt from those serving in the hall. None seemed to fear approaching her. They were as they'd been those days before Lady Charlotte and the ladies Blake arrived. Happy.
Dragging the cloth from her face, Io levered herself up and climbed out of the water. Her fingers and toes were wrinkled as she'd soaked for so long. The water may not have washed away every worry, but it freshened her spirit. She was wrapping the sheet around her when the door swung open, and Xavier strode in a smile on his lips and a wicked look in his eyes.
"My lady," he shouted and crossed to her in four steps. "I see you have prepared yourself in anticipation of receiving me." He growled as he lunged. His face buried against her neck and he used his lips and teeth to tease the soft flesh.
Io couldn't help it, she laughed. "Get back, you lout," she squealed when his cold fingers slipped under the sheet and brushed her nipple.
"If I am a lout," he said as he nibbled at her ear, "you are a scold."
Io laughed out loud and shoved him back. "I am a scold and well you know it." She held him at arm's length. "But at least I do not smell like stale ale."
Xavier stepped back and frowned at her. "Yes, it was too cold to stand outside and discuss matters in the wind," he said, working his tunic over his head. "Given the crowd, it was too cold to do anything outside or even in one's home."
He said the disapproving words but then chuckled as he tossed his shirt down with the tunic and made his way to the tub. Before Io could warn him, he'd dunked his head and shoulders. He came up gasping. "Io, that water is freezing. Are you just getting out?"
"It is not freezing," Io said, handing him a fresh cloth which he dunked in the water and then rubbed over his skin. She made her way to the wardrobe to fetch a dry sheet, glancing back over her shoulder to watch him strip out of the rest of his clothes. When he set his foot on the tub, it was clear his body didn't find the water as cold as he claimed. "Did you eat, or should I call for a tray?" Io asked, trying to pull her eyes from him.
"My appetite for food is satisfied," he said, taking the sheet she offered. "My appetite for… other things…" his eyes boldly roamed over her, "remains.
" He snagged her wrist and pulled so she slammed against him.
Her laugh was smothered by his lips. The rush of heat swept through her, making her dizzy. His hands settled on her arse, lifting and pulling her up and against him. No, the water hadn't been anywhere near cold enough. Io took great pleasure in his moan as she ground against his hardening cock.
His tongue forced its way through her lips, and Io's knees buckled right into Xavier's hold. He carried her through the inner chambers, and without pause, or a break in the kiss, through to the bedchambers. He set her down so he might secure the doors, and Io made her way to the bench where a fresh shift laid waiting.
"What are you doing?" Xavier spoke right in her ear though she'd not heard him approach. He tugged the shift from her grasp and tossed it down. "You will not have a use for that," he said as his fingers went to the top edge of the sheet she was wrapped in. "Or this." He tried tugging it loose, but Io held it in place.
"Then put out the lights, my lord," she suggested with a smile as impatient now as he to start the fun.
He pulled back abruptly as if she'd slapped him, and his expression this time wasn't one of playful discontent. "No," he said and again reached for the sheet.
Io twisted away, securing the sheet in place and giving him her back. "Xavier, please put out the lights." The last words barely left her lips before she found herself naked before him. The shock froze her in place long enough he managed to spin her around to face him, but before his eyes dropped from her face, she brought her arms and hands up to cover what he'd still not seen.
The scars across her side were not as bold as the ones on her thigh or her shoulder but they were there, marring the once smooth skin. Xavier pushed her hands away, and when she again tried to cover the damage done when she'd slid down the cliffside, he jerked them down to her sides with a look that dared her to try to lift them again.
The burn of tears rose in her eyes as she stood, letting his thumb trace over the jagged line. "I would not be acceptable now did I have to stand an inspection," Io tried to tease. "I am more scared than many of your soldiers," her voiced cracked, but she held the tears back. "Fortunate you wed me before all this disfiguration."
"Inspections and bedding are barbaric," Xavier remarked dryly.
"A man has the right to have a wife free of mutilations," Io said softly. "Though I have not ever been so, I suppose." She reached up and touched the scar on her shoulder. "You did not get a beautiful wife, and now I am less so." Her fingers dropped to brush the scars on her thigh.
Xavier abruptly spun away and marched across the room. She turned her back to him and tried to blink back the tears. She'd been clever to hide the damage with poor lighting and clothes, but she always knew someday he'd see what he'd been left with.
Again she'd not heard his approach and was startled when he grabbed both her wrists in one hand with a grip nearing painful. She naturally stepped forward to try and relieve the pain of his pull, only to be blocked when he set his foot on the bench.
Io screamed out as the implement cracked down on her arse. Still trying to catch her breath and pant the pain away, she wasn't ready when it fell again. The board connected twice. Io squealed, dancing up on her toes. The action didn't take her out of range, and Xavier punctuated each word he spoke with a stinging swat
"You are beautiful," he said through clenched teeth then tossed the paddle away with enough force Io heard it thump on the thick carpet. Before she could react, he swept her up, crossed the floor and deposited her on the bed. "I will not have this from you, Io," he told her as he loomed over her.
"I..." She sniffed then reached up to rub her shoulder.
Xavier knocked her hand away. "Do not hide that. Do not hide any of them from me. Are you so blind you see only scarred flesh?" He shook his head at her as she tried again to cover the mark. "That is not what I see. I see the truth."
"The truth?" Her breath caught in her throat when his fingers settled on the scar on her shoulder.
"The truth. These are not scars. They are the badges of victory." His hand shifted so his thumb could brush purposefully over the marked flesh. "This one, this one taken when they tried to kill you as a child, tells me you can survive. You are strong and self-sufficient. This." His hand drew down to the newly revealed cuts.
"That is what happened when I was taken to the cliffs," Io told him, looking away and waiting for his next words. They didn't disappoint.
"Proof again of the woman you are. They can push you down, but you will get back up, and this one," he let his hand cover the marred skin on her thigh, squeezing hard, "this one says you are determined, and when you are most determined, nothing will stop you from achieving your goals. These represent your strength, courage, and perseverance. They are the badges you wear. And when I see them, I am humbled to be in your presence. Honored to call you my wife, my lady, and even ashamed, because I know I have done nothing to deserve you. These marks no more mar your physical beauty than the unseen ones on your heart and soul mar the beauty that lies in both."
He took her chin in his grasp and forced her to meet his eyes. "You are more than beautiful, Io. You are a goddess to behold, a gift to know and a pleasure to love."
More than his words, the conviction in his voice created warmth within her nearly surpassing the burn the paddle created. Her heartbeat picked up as he lowered his body to cover hers, but that made the painful throbbing speed up too. Io squirmed trying to lift her backside off the bed. Xavier shifted forward, aligning their hips and settled his weight down. Io didn't mistake what she felt and she parted her legs that he might settle against her. But before he dropped his weight, he took advantage of her elevated hips to slide his hands under her seat. When his weight came down, it pushed her into his hands which he promptly flexed, squeezing each round half, hard. Io squealed and lifted against him. The maddening mix of pain and pleasure made it hard to discern one from the other.
"Are we in agreement now, my lady?" Xavier asked, again setting his weight over her but relaxing his grip. He smiled and chuckled, perhaps her confusion was on her face. "We agree, do we not, that you are beautiful in every way? Strong, brave, determined, and you have the softest arse in all of creation." His fingers wiggled against her flesh.
Io unsure how to answer shrugged, earning a second hard squeeze to the still tender globes. "Oh, Xavier," she complained.
"Do we agree?" he asked, relaxing his grip only to squeeze again. "Do we agree?"
"Yes, yes, my lord. We agree," she squealed again.
"You must say the words."
"What words?"
"That you are beautiful, strong and brave. A goddess." He settled more of his weight on her. Despite the pain, Io giggled, tried to cover it up with a dismissive snort, only to giggle again. "You have to say it, Io, or I will not know that we understand and agree." He set his head down next to hers then began nuzzling her neck, nipping at her ear.
"Xavier," Io said then moaned, tipping her head to the left so he had more access. "Ah, please."
"Say it. You are a goddess."
"I am a goddess."
"Yes, you are," he said, kissing his way down her neck and across her collarbone and up the other side of her neck as soon as she turned her head the other way. "But if you have doubts, I am not adverse…" He shifted and started laying kisses in a line between her breasts, and Io couldn't hold back the moan or prevent her body from lifting to meet his lips. "To doing a… nightly… inspection… of your person."
Io gasped when his mouth closed over her tit. His teeth scraped back until he reached her nipple and then bit down. He kept the sensation at the edge of pain, and again Io couldn't define what she felt as either torture or indulgence. Xavier moved from her left breast to her right. Pausing, he caught her eye, and a wicked grin crossed his face.
"Of course you can understand if I say my inspections…" He stopped speaking and gave her flesh some much needed attention. Once he brought that nipple to a stiff, aching peak, he starte
d working his way down her torso. His warm tongue licked random spots as he worked his way down to the apex where he created the most pleasure. "My inspections will be most thorough in nature."
She could feel his breath now as he teased her skin everywhere but that one place. "Xavier," Io sighed and lifted trying to direct him. "Make me feel."
"Feel what?" Xavier asked, lifting his head.
For a moment Io couldn't say. She knew he could make her feel as if she burned. Too, he could make her whole body sing with pleasure. But he'd always been able to do that. Now, though, he did so much more. "Make me feel… safe."
"Safe?"
Yes, he did that now. When he took her, he could make her feel safe in the act. It wasn't something he valued her for. If they did not, he wouldn't want her less. "Safe," she confirmed.
Xavier lifted and crawled up on the bed to lay his whole body over her. He gathered her tightly under him. "You are safe, Io. I am here to shield you, defend you, support you." He kissed her jaw.
"Make me feel… needed?" Io said. Knowing she was needed. She had a usefulness in this house that she'd never had before.
"I cannot breathe without you. I need you to make my heart beat." He placed a soft kiss on her cheek.
"Wanted?"
His answer was to press his hips down. Io spread her legs, and he filled her with a smooth forward shift of weight. "I want you in every way a man might want a woman. I want and need you. You are my only reason."
"Xavier, make me feel." Io lifted her hips to meet his movement. Xavier knew exactly what she wanted to feel, and he made her feel it with all the passion, pleasure and care she could ever hope to know.
Io laughed again and let Xavier roll to his back and drag her across his body. She rested her cheek on his chest with a sated, tired sigh. Xavier's fingers stabbed into her hair at her temple and combed back the wild mass.
His chuckle turned to a groan when he turned his head to the side and took note of the light coming in around the window coverings. "It must be near noon," he grumbled. The last few nights, their passions were long in finding satisfaction. Io made him young again in his want for her. And while he did need short periods of sleep between, he'd taken her no less than four times this time.
