This lake is a perfect representation of my life. Growing up in Meyers, protected from the outside world. Jay has seen so much, been places I’ve only dreamt about. I want to climb into his head, see the things he’s seen. “This is the only body of water I’ve ever been in.” I look at the sky. ‘These are the only stars I know.”
“This is a pretty stellar view.” He isn’t looking at the water or the sky. He wraps his arms around me. “Some places, some moments, you’ll never have again. You have to appreciate the place you’re in, the person you’re with.”
I lay my hands on his warm chest and feel his want for me. I’m going for it, tonight is the night. No more planning, no more lists. It’s time to get it on.
“Abbi,” he whispers. Words balance on the tip of his tongue.
I don’t allow him to finish. I kiss him so he knows what I want, what I’m thinking. I let my body speak for me.
“Let’s get out of here.” I take his hand and lead him off the dock, across the beach, and into the woods.
A million thoughts race through my head: Raine’s voice telling me not to freak out; Trevor saying it’s just sex; P in the V. No biggie.
I’m not even looking forward to the actual sex. Just the after. Once the deed is done, I can quit stressing about when it will happen and with whom. After he takes my virginity, I’ll be able to enjoy the next guy. It won’t be a big hoorah. It’ll just be sex.
Jay’s face is barely visible in the darkness. His eyes are almost glowing from light seeping through the trees. This feels right. He feels like the one I was waiting for all this time.
“Did you see that?” He jerks to a stop, holding up a protective arm. For a moment I think he’s teasing, trying to scare me, and then I see a large shadowy figure up ahead.
“Jay.” I step back from the approaching shadow.
Its steel gray eyes glow in the moonlight. It watches us a few more seconds, then takes off into the darkness.
“Let’s go!” Jay gives chase to the creature.
“Are you crazy?” I reluctantly follow, it’s best if we stay together. I wouldn’t want to run into the creature alone.
We clear the woods, and Jay stops short of the factory door.
“We lost it.” He doubles over to catch his breath.
“What was that?”
“Not what, who.” He’s amped, excited, like he just spotted Bigfoot. He pulls open the metal door. “Let’s get inside.”
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
He paces in front of the large cylinders. “I don’t know where to start.”
“How about telling me what was in the woods.”
“Remember the story I told about the wolves?”
“My grandmother used to tell me one very similar. Without the bloodshed.”
Jay looks hopeful. “Did she tell you anything about herself, your parents? Did she explain who she was?”
“I know who she is.”
He paces frantically, searching for words. “Abbi, there are things about your family you don’t know. Things they’ve kept from you.”
Anyone who knows me is privy to the fact that my parents keep me in the dark about most things. How would he know that?
“You’re different, Abbi. Special.” He stops in front of me. “And so am I. That’s why we’re drawn to each other.” Heat radiates from his hands to mine. Maybe this night isn’t a total bust. I lean forward, hoping he’ll kiss me. I feel his angst bubbling to the surface.
“You want me,” he says, not in a sexy way. “And I want you. I want you in a way I’ve never wanted another female.”
That was kind of romantic. I tiptoe to kiss him, and he pulls back. I insert myself into his personal space.
“Tell me you want me,” he insists.
If that what it takes to flip his switch.
I press against him. “I want you to kiss me.”
It starts soft, then increases in intensity. His experienced tongue invades my mouth. He laps my tongue and gently nibbles my lip. I try to keep up, try to match his desire, but it’s useless. I’m a puddle of feels. He cups my ass and carries me backward until I’m against the wall. He is no longer being polite, his urges take over. Raine says sex isn’t a cordial matter, it’s brash and bliss at the same time. I’ve had countless conversations with her and Trevor about sex and how I’d know when it was time. They always said the thing: you’ll know.
He moves his attention to my neck. I grab his hair and whisper in his ear, “I’ve never wanted a guy the way I want you.” My tongue moistens his earlobe. He moans and sucks at my neck. I realize why girls allow guys to give them a hickey. Blood rushes to places that make me feel alive. Yeah, I get it. Hickeys. Yes, please.
He slows and takes my hand. We walk wordlessly to the boom-boom room. It’s been a long time since I set foot inside the small apartment. Nothing in the room ever changes except the wall. Names, dates, messages. I spot Ozzy’s signature several times. The door clicks shut, and I look at Jay. He’s inspecting the room. The full-sized bed. The Aztec-patterned comforter I stole from home three years ago. A stack of magazines, a set of poorly folded sheets, and a deck of cards are on a small desk.
Jay, still shirtless, sits on the bed. It moans beneath him. He reaches out for me, pulling me between his legs. I take off his jacket and toss it on the floor. He explores under my shirt, caressing my back.
“This is what you want?” He lifts the shirt, exposing my stomach, and plants a kiss on my bare skin.
“Yes.” I look over his head at the names on the wall. I’ve waited three years to add mine. Finally.
“Do you want our first time to be like this?” He pauses his exploration. “We can do so much better.”
He said our first time, not my first time. This isn’t just about me. I feel incredibly selfish for not considering his feelings. I forget there is another human involved.
“This is the only time we’re going to have together.”
He shakes his head. “We’re going to have so many other chances.” He withdraws his hands. “We can wait.”
Jay has roamed the earth with his father. Every day a new adventure. He doesn’t understand the monotony of my life. This moment is the most exciting thing to ever happen to me, and he’s ending it early.
“Wait for what?” I snap. “We’re here now. We have this moment. Who knows what will happen tomorrow?”
He stands and points to the wall. “Do you really want to see your name up there? My name? Is that all this is to you? A hookup? A great story to tell your future husband?”
Nail. Head. Bam.
“Of course not,” I lie.
“I need to know the truth, Abbi.” He takes my hand. “Do you want me after this? After camp? Is this real to you?”
I never thought past camp. I don’t allow myself to dream of the future. Especially not a future with Jay. “I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I don’t plan that far ahead.” Kalysia does that for me.
“I’m not going to bail after summer is over. I plan on sticking around for a while.”
I die a little inside. If he does stay in Meyers, seeing him every day and knowing I can’t have him will kill me. “My mother will never allow us to be together.”
“She won’t have a choice.” His statement is comical.
“You don’t know my mother.”
He takes me in his arms. “I know a way you can break free from your parents and live life on your terms.” He cups my face and kisses me lightly. “I’m serious, Abbi. I can make all your dreams come true. I can give you the world. You only have to trust me.”
“You’ll make my dreams come true?” I repeat.
“Yes.” He caresses my face. “I want to spend my life making you happy.”
Pause.
When did this become some happily ever after, true love, Disney princess moment? I like him. I want him. That doesn’t mean I want him forever. Decisions like that aren’t made over roasted marshmallows and
camp sing-alongs.
“We don’t need to decide the rest of our lives tonight. Let’s just”—I kiss his neck—“have fun.”
He moans. I ease him back on the bed. He flips me over so he’s on top. I tingle at his touch. All my senses are chanting his name.
You can do it, Jay! You got this.
“Abbi,” he breathes. “I want you.”
“I want you too.” I urge him back to my mouth.
He rises to his knees, shirtless, breathless, glistening from the absurdly warm room. I’ve never seen a man fully naked. I keep my eyes north of his abs. “We need to—”
“Raine says there is a stash of condoms in the desk.” I point.
He shakes his head. “This isn’t happening tonight. Not here.”
The crowd boos.
“What?” I rise to my elbows, it feels less vulnerable, less desperate.
“We can do better than this.”
He keeps saying that, and I’m no closer to believing him. There’s only one reason a guy puts on the brakes.
“You don’t want me.” I scoot up the bed, away from him.
“I do,” he declares.
“Not in that uncontrollable have-to-have-you-right-now way.” I roll off the bed and grab my shoes and his hoodie. “This is so embarrassing.” This would never happen to Raine.
“Abbi, you have it all wrong.” He follows me to the door. “I do want you that way. Believe me.” He moves his junk around in his pants. “We’re destined for something so much more than this.”
I roll my eyes. “This fairytale you have about us being together after camp. Forget it. My mom will never allow us to date.”
He forces me to look at him. “This isn’t about your mother anymore. It’s about you. The choice you make. I promise, Abbi, when the time comes, you’ll choose me.”
Is this guy for real?
“Don’t hold your breath.” I push him out of the way and run back to camp. He maintains a respectful distance. So much so that when I run into Sophie-Ann, she doesn’t see Jay bail into the bushes.
“Abbigayle Kincaid,” Sophie-Ann whisper-screams. “You know better than this.” She looks behind me. “Can I assume your partner in crime is with you? I was just about to check on Raine’s cabin when I found you missing. I nearly called your mother.”
“Of course you did.” I stomp around her like a sullen child. “I’m alone. I just went for a run to clear my head.”
She looks toward the bushes, where Jay is hiding. “Are you sure you’re alone?”
I pull her hand and attention back to me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left my campers. I wanted one last night run before it’s all over.” I play the sad card. “I’m really going to miss this place.”
“This is a confusing time of life, but everything will work out for the best.” She smooths my unruly hair. Bed-head.
“I’m really tired.” I fake yawn. “Goodnight, Soph.”
“Night, sweetie.”
I pin a melancholy smile on my face as I turn toward my cabin, hoping I delayed her long enough for Jay to make an escape.
“One more thing, Abbi.”
“”Yeah?”
“Make sure you return Jay’s jacket to him tomorrow.” She spins toward camp central with a little wave.
Shit.
Chapter Twelve
Sophie-Ann has effectively kept me and Jay apart. Our activities have been scheduled on opposite sides of the camp. She even manipulated my lunch break by asking me to help in the office. Her strategy is redundant. I avoid all things Jay. The sting of rejection is a great deterrent.
Jay and his fantasy of us living happily ever after is absurd. In a week I’ll be home, Jay will be gone, and all this stress will have been for nothing. A few days ago, a week felt short. The next seven days are going to be the longest of my life.
My mood bleeds into everything I do, the girls are starting to notice. Sarah is the first to speak of it, during archery.
“Trouble in paradise?” she snarks, releasing her arrow. It hits the bull’s-eye. Word has gotten around camp about me and Jay. That puts me back on Sarah’s hit list.
“There is no such thing as paradise,” I snap and hand her another arrow.
“Are you PMSing?” Leslie gives me an empathetic look. “I have chocolate stashed,” she whispers.
“Thank you, I’m fine.” I walk to the safe zone and drink from my water bottle. “And don’t let me find your stash.” I wink so she knows I’m only half-kidding.
Amanda sits on the grass under the blue awning and complains about the heat. “It’s too hot for this.”
“I know.” I join her in the shade and dump the rest of my water on her head.
“Why don’t we ever get a water activity?”
“Yeah, Abbi,” Sarah sasses.
“Hey, this isn’t my fault. It’s the rotation.”
“Are you avoiding Jay?” Sarah is too smart for her own good.
“No!”
“I think you are. You never go to the lake at free-time.”
“I’m busy.” I stand and start cleaning up to show that some people work around here.
“We didn’t sit next to him at the bonfire,” Leslie adds. “He was trying to get your attention the entire night.”
“Was he? I didn’t notice.” I pick up a pile of arrows and place them in the bin. “Has he said anything about me?”
“Not to me.” Sarah smirks. “We usually talk about other things.”
“I think he still likes you.” Amanda opposed everything Sarah believes. “You should totally go for him. Isn’t that what camp is about?”
“‘Camp is about personal growth,’” I quote from the website. “Trying new things, breaking personal barriers, making friends.”
“Exactly,” Sarah mocks. “I say you just move on.” She pats my shoulder as if she’s the mature one. The way I’m acting, I don’t blame her. Hiding from Jay is immature.
When my watch alarm goes off for free-time, I excuse the girls and head to the dock to prove to Sarah and myself that I’m not a child. I march through camp central, ignoring Sophie-Ann and Rusty’s requests for volunteers to help with parent night. I pass Raine on the trail near our cabins.
“Abs, where are you going?” She’s holding up her mouthwash bottle. “I’m meeting Rory at the theater. Earth to Abbie!”
I wave her off. I’m on a mission. I’m going to walk right up to Jay and tell him how I feel. I won’t take no for an answer. I cross the road to the lake, my shoes sink in the sand. I stomp to the lifeguard stand and stop beneath it. Prepared to give Jay a piece of my mind, a piece of something else if he’ll take it. Jay isn’t in the chair.
“Hey, Trev.” I pretend not to be disappointed by his presence. “I was thinking about hitting the outlets next week. You in?”
“I’m broke, baby doll. After camp I need to find a j-o-b.”
“I can ask my grandfather if he has any openings.” Monte promised me a job whenever I was ready. I’d love to gift it to Trevor.
“Nah, I’m good. I have some things lined up.”
I don’t get a chance to ask what because Sarah and the girls run towards us, stopping short of the lifeguard chair when they see Trevor.
“Where’s Jay?” Sarah pouts and scans the beach.
“You’re stuck with me today.” Trevor stands and tries to flex.
The girls aren’t amused. They grumble about the heat and how boring free-time is without Jay.
“Sophie-Ann said he’s sick.” Trevor rubs an obscene amount of sunblock on his chest and stomach. “He drank too much lake water or some crap.”
“Why are you still talking about Jay?” I empty the sand from my shoes. “I don’t care where he is.”
“Sure, you don’t.” He squeezes more cream from the tube and slathers it on his legs.
“You know you’re supposed to rub that in, right?” I point to the thick white layer of cream covering his body.
“This works bet
ter. I hate that tingly feeling.”
“What tingly feeling?”
“You know, the feeling you get when your skin is exposed to direct sunlight.” He shivers. “It feels like bugs are crawling all over me.”
“You’re insane.” I look out on the lake, where campers are playing on the floating obstacle course. “Remember when we used to be the ones racing on that thing?”
“I still hold the camp record.”
“I thought Ozzy beat your time?”
“Girl, no.” He places a wet towel over his head, then secures his hat over it. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever won at this godforsaken camp.”
“You really won’t miss this place?” I gesture to the natural beauty that surrounds us.
“Give me dirty sidewalks in an air-polluted and I’m a happy camper.”
When it comes to leaving Meyers, Trevor is as desperate as I am. We fantasize about running away and moving to the city. He builds and decorates imaginary apartments on a game called The Sims. He created avatars for each of us, with cool careers and funky hair. We only make it a few years before burning the house down.
“Abbi!” Leslie yells from the lake. “Can we hear some music?”
I look at Trevor. “What do you think?”
Music isn’t forbidden, but Rusty doesn’t like us to play it loud on the water because it makes it harder to hear someone calling for help.
“Music is life.”
I head to camp central to find the old battery-powered radio in the storage cabin behind Black Bear—Jay’s cabin.
Chapter Thirteen
Jay
The sickness began after breakfast. Lauren warned me this would happen if I mistakenly ingested the serum. My boys were strapped up for the ropes course when the pain started. I knew immediately I’d screwed up. My insides felt like they were on fire. Landon was fort-building nearby. He saw me doubled over in pain and radioed camp central to let them know I was sick. I claimed it was sunstroke. The last thing I need is the camp nurse drawing my blood.
I drink a concoction every morning with lake water, it’s the only water source we can guarantee isn’t contaminated. The mixture counteracts the serum they’re giving the counselors. I must have mixed it wrong or accidently eaten something from the counselor’s pantry. The soda Abbi gave me the other day was sealed, so it was fine. Who knows how or where they sneak the serum into the food supply. I’ve seen all the counselors taking vitamins. Bottles of them line an entire shelf in the pantry. I snagged one to take home with me for testing.
The Lunam Legacy (The Lunam Series Book 3) Page 7
