The Devil's Cave: A Humorous Fantasy Novel (The Legends of Damon Arkon: The World's Greatest Swordfighter)

by Everson Cook

  Damon looked up. There was a ledge he hadn't noticed that ledge before. That might actually work. Due to the awkward situations he often found himself in, he had a lot of practice scaling all kinds of things in all kinds of conditions. He found that he was rather good at it. Unless it was a mountain during a rainstorm. And he was not as good as he was with a sword of course, but good enough that if he had to choose between scaling to the top of a ledge, or dying by the hands of twenty strangers, the choice was close to obvious.

  Damon's heart had slowed enough that he could hear the guys getting closer, so he took to climbing. He wrapped his chains around a rock that jutted out from the wall a little above head level. His shoulders strained as he pulled himself up to his chin and swung his right leg up onto another rock. He needed to lose some weight if he got out of this alive Damon thought to himself. He pushed himself up on that rock and braced himself against the wall.

  He loosened his chains from around the rock that they were on and threw them and himself toward another rock. He snagged them around it and put his left foot where his hands used to be.

  A clearing of a throat behind him forced him to turn slowly around.

  "Going somewhere?" Belosic asked as he and Kaateria emerged from the other side of the cavern.

  He and Kaateria emerged from the other cavern. Kaateria's eyes appeared red and puffy. They both pulled at thick webbing that was stuck to their clothing. Damon wanted to stop and ask them what had happened, but his desire to live was greater than his curiosity, so he kept putting more room between him and the ground.

  Damon pulled himself up higher on the wall. The exertion was making him a little short of breath. As he paused to catch his breath he noticed that Belosic and Kaateria had sheathed their swords.

  "You're going to want to get those out," Damon said. "Well, at least Belosic will want to. Kaateria, you should probably start climbing. It's a lot harder than I make it look."

  It was then that Kaateria noticed the commotion that was coming down the stairs at them.

  "What's that noise?" she asked. She slid her hand to the hilt of her sword.

  "Remember our friends from the trail? Well, they brought more friends. And they're hungry," Damon paused and then added for dramatic effect, "for revenge."

  Belosic and Kaateria withdrew their swords.

  "Too much?" Damon asked. "It felt like a little too much. But, I really needed you to understand the gravity of the situation."

  "Thanks," Kaateria said, rolling her eyes.

  "Ok, well, if you don't mind, I've got some climbing to do," Damon nodded his head toward the ledge. "Unless, now you're convinced to give me a sword..." he asked. He raised both of his eyebrows.

  "Nope," said Belosic.

  "We're still fine with you not having one," Kaateria added.

  "Ok, suit yourselves. Just don't come crying to me when things get out of control."

  "We'll be able to handle it," Kaateria said.

  "I'm sure we've been put into worse situations," said Belosic.

  "Like babysitting you for example," Kaateria said.

  Damon laughed with mock sincerity. He looked at them both wearily. There was a difference between confidence and stupidity and he didn't think they'd be saved by either. He just wished that if one of them had to die that it would be Belosic.

  Damon didn't have time to worry about it though. He had to keep going and reach the ledge before it was too late. He threw his weight toward another hold pushing off with his foot and swinging the chain up and out in the process. The chain easily wrapped around the protruding rock. Damon swung his body over and brought his right foot forward putting his weight on it as it connected. He heard the rock give before he felt it. The rock crumbled underneath him. He pawed his foot out frantically. Damon gave out an oof as, finding nowhere to put his foot, he spun and slammed his back against the craggy wall. Damon winced as he felt something sharp dig into his spine. He was grateful that it was only a rock and not the tip of a sword. He gripped the chain in both hands as he dangled by it alone. Damon could feel the metal slicing into the soft skin of his wrists as his body swayed from side to side. He flailed his legs about as he tried to turn himself back around.

  Since it was the most inopportune time, the group of twenty finally hit the landing. Binnicus lead the way, followed by Curly, then Longsleeves. The last one through the door was a tiny man with large features.

  Some of the seventeen newcomers gasped as they took in the size of Belosic. They had been told that Damon was traveling with two companions and that they would be able to make quick work of them before the more strenuous task of taking on the world's greatest swordfighter. None of them were told that Damon was traveling with a giant. Information they believed would've been nice to know before committing to killing him as it was common knowledge that giants were dirty fighters. And while Belosic wasn't officially a giant, he was larger than most men and could pass as a member of either race to the ill-informed.

  Many more gasped when they took in the beauty of Kaateria. Curly had described her to the men at great length and incredible detail down to the placement of each freckle and the location of a tiny mole to the outside of her right eye, but it wasn't enough to fully prepare them. It would be a shame to have to kill her, but they were men who lacked shame.

  Damon surveyed the crowd and decided that at his current height, the tallest guy could still plunge a sword into him. Even if it was just his feet, Damon imagined it would still hurt quite a bit. Plus, he rather liked his feet. They were quite helpful when it came to luring women to bed due to their size. He had to figure out a way to get higher or lose them.

  "Well, well, well. Lookie here boys," Binnicus said. "We've got ourselves a little birdie and a couple of eggs. What's the matter little birdie? Get caught in mid-flight?"

  The group laughed.

  "Look, I know you're mad about Tim, but let me remind you again that he dealt the final blow," Damon pointed a finger in the direction of Belosic. Or, at least he attempted to. The swinging made the pointing somewhat inaccurate.

  Belosic glared at Damon, before stating to the gathered crowd, "He was going to die anyway. I only did what was right. I put him out of his misery. If you want to fight, I'll put you out of yours."

  "Oh, that's a good line. I'll have to remember that one," Damon said appreciatively. "It gave me goosebumps. I could strike fear in a lot of people with it. Are you guys full of fear? I bet you are."

  "You won't have to remember it for long," Binnicus said to the agreement of his crew. They were relieved that Binnicus had spoken first because a few of them were absolutely willing to admit that the words did strike them full of fear. And the rest were willing to admit it, but only if forced. However, by the time Binnicus was done talking they all felt the moment for answering Damon's question had passed and it would only be awkward to do so now.

  "Ok, well, if you could just leave me out of it for a while, maybe take on those two first, that would be very appreciated. At least let me get to a point where I'm not just dangling in the air."

  Binnicus agreed, "Sure, why not? But be quick about it. We'll be lucky if these two even cause us to break a sweat."

  "So far all I've heard is talk," Belosic said.

  "I prefer a man who is willing to take action," Kaateria said. "Doesn't look like that's any of you."

  Damon groaned. He was a man of action. He was the world's greatest swordfighter. Although he could admit to himself that he was also a man who liked to talk. But was that not an action? Sometimes he found women so confusing.

  An average-sized man with patchy clumps of gray and black hair on his head and equally patchy skin on his face, stood in the back getting agitated. He was a man of action as well. Or at least, believed he would be when called upon to do so. He'd never been put in a situation where he needed to take action. Although for a beauty like Kaateria he would be or do whatever she wanted. He began rolling his sword's handle in his sweaty palm and bounced from
foot to foot.

  "Let's go guys. Let's go!" Patches yelled from the back. He smacked the broadside of his sword against his chest and shook his head violently from side to side. Then let out a howl.

  "Calm down back there you," Binnicus yelled leaning back toward the agitator. He wasn't willing to turn and find out who it was. He was sure that he would get stabbed if he took the chance.

  Belosic and Kaateria were crouched low ready to spring when necessary. They each held their sword in their right hand. Kaateria was turned slightly so that she could watch for anything coming from the left. Belosic was covering the right. They moved so that their backs were covered by the wall. They didn't want to get surprised by anything coming from the other entrance.

  Damon continued struggling to get turned back around, or he would've suggested that Kaateria or Belosic close the door. The skin on his fingers was starting to bubble with blisters. He shimmied his hips from side to side building up momentum.

  "Let's go!" Patches yelled again. Everyone was standing there ready to fight, but no one wanted to make the first move. His wild eyes tried to make contact with the others standing near him, but they all held their gazes elsewhere.

  "Hold," Binnicus yelled back. He held up his left hand.

  But Patches struggled with the command. His body was shaking with anticipation. He felt like he was going to explode if they didn't get going soon. He continued fidgeting. He opened the fingers on his free hand wide and then brought them back into a fist. He bobbed his head to the beat of something only he could hear. His weight shifted from one foot to the other.

  Patches couldn't take it anymore. He raised his sword over his head and let out an anguished howl. He started to push his way to the front of the crowd barking as he went.

  Damon finally got his hips swiveled and brought his boots up to wall. He leaned back a little bringing the pressure off of his wrists.

  "WooHoo! I did it." Damon looked down to find no one was really paying attention to him. They were too busy sizing each other up. Watching and waiting for someone, anyone to make a move. This would not do for Damon. "Hey, up here. I did it guys," he shouted. "I'm sure you were worried about it, but hey," Damon kicked himself away from the wall and swung back. He raised his eyebrows and jutted out his chin. He let go of the chains for a brief moment and, with his fingers spread wide, waved both his hands about.

  Patches turned to see what Damon was yammering on about. The noise drew Patches's attention away from the group of men standing between him and the front of the line. He stopped carefully weaving his way through them. Patches' big, heavy boots hit those of one of the men in front of him tripping Patches and sending him sprawling. He threw his sword forward as he tried to brace himself for impact with the ground. Patches had found himself on enough floors to expect it to hurt when he hit. The sword arced through the air gracefully before eventually pointing down at what would be its final destination. With great force, the tip of Patches' sword drove toward the feet, one real and one quite obviously not, of the one-legged man standing immediately in front of him. If the sword had fallen a few inches to the right it would've just grazed the man's wooden leg resulting in a few splinters. Unfortunately, that was not the case. It pierced the man's good foot with a loud crunch of breaking bones. The sound was familiar to the one-legged man as he had heard it once before. He knew immediately that he would never have a good foot again.

  The one-legged man cried out in anguish. Blood began seeping through his leather footwear. He doubled over in pain. The act caused his sword to jut straight out from his waist behind him. As Patches continued his descent toward the floor he fell right into the blade forcing the steel into his stomach. His eyes went wide with disbelief. Blood spider-webbed on his white tunic. Patches wheezed. Red fluid began dripping from his mouth. Patches dropped to his knees. The blade ripped further up his chest cavity. The one-legged man did his best to stand back up, causing the blade to rip out of Patches who continued his forward momentum hitting the ground with a solid thud. The one-legged man thought he'd still be able to fight, but the torment was too much for him. He put pressure on his foot and blood shot out into the air like a geyser. He wasn't going to be able to continue like this. He too dropped to his knees and crawled away to nurse his wounds.

  A younger guy in the group who had never seen any action, but had recently decided he didn't want to follow in his father's footsteps and become a farmer, clutched his stomach as he bent over and vomited. The chunky liquid hit the ground and splashed back up on the boots of those around him. The stench was horrible and a few men pinched their nostrils. The young man had been promised gold beyond his imagination, a chance to see the world, and a large chested woman to see it with. But, the sight of blood and the metallic smell that followed was too much. Maybe farming wasn't so bad, he thought. And there was that small chested girl who lived at the farmhouse next door who was pretty if he squinted. He dropped his sword, knowing he would never need it again, and ran back up the stairs.

  "Bless the Gods," Damon said as he watched what was happening from his perch slightly above the crowd. He grasped the chains in his hands as he quickly got back to climbing toward the ledge.

  Kaateria hadn't been in any real fights, only practice, but she had seen enough bloodshed merely from the day Damon was brought before King Glendorrys to not be affected by the sight. She continued crouching and watching the group for someone to make a competent move.

  Belosic was also unphased by what had happened. He gripped his sword tightly in his hand. His bicep flexed from the motion. He gritted his teeth. His muscles tightened as he prepared to spring into action. Belosic wasn't one to rush into battle. He was patient. A well-trained killer. But he was ready when duty called.

  Binnicus was none of those things. And he certainly wasn't happy to have lost three men so quickly.

  "Fight," Binnicus yelled as he dropped his hand.

  22

  Damon looped his chains around the final rock. He pumped his legs and swung back and forth picking up his momentum. He kicked his legs out toward the ledge, threw his weight forward and went flying. He slammed against the edge and expelled a huge breath as his lungs were crushed by the rocks. He dug his elbows into the ledge and quickly crawled further onto it. He sat up and pressed his back into the wall behind him as he slowed his breath. If he wasn't going to be allowed to take part in the action, he'd at least have a great view.

  The first wave of men moved forward. Four of them swung their swords in sync at Belosic. Belosic pushed their blades away. He kicked one of the men in the stomach giving himself some space. Belosic swiped his blade through the shoulder of the next man who lost feeling in his arm and dropped his sword with a clang. The swipe opened up Belosic's side for an attack. The third man saw the advantage and cut into Belosic. Belosic spun through the cut and drove his blade into the third guy.

  The first guy recovered from the kick and circled Belosic. The fourth guy followed suit. The first guy took an aggressive step toward Belosic who tried to move out of the way. The fourth guy was anticipating the move though and had his blade ready to jab into the same side Belosic had been hit earlier. Belosic momentarily dropped to one knee. His hand landed on a rock that he picked up and chucked at the head of the first guy splitting it open above his eyebrow. Blood trickled into his eyes blinding him. He rubbed his bare hands over his eyes trying to clear out the blood. It wouldn't do any good. He got his vision back only long enough to see Belosic lunge toward him and force his steel through the man's stomach. Belosic yanked it out of him and threw the blade behind him where it jammed into the abdomen of the fourth man who Belosic had heard running toward him. He pulled it out and readied himself for the next attack. He didn't have to wait long.

  Damon juked and jived with each flash of steel. He mimicked Belosic's every maneuver as it if was Damon who was doing the fighting. He studied and analyzed the approach of each fighter. There were a few things Damon would've done differently, like not get
stabbed, but overall Damon appreciated Belosic's performance. Belosic was a no-holds-barred scrapper. Which was the kind of fighter Damon liked going up against the least due to their unpredictability.

  Kaateria circled the man who approached her. His long greasy hair hung over his dark eyes. If she didn't have to worry about fighting him, she'd take time to consider how he was even able to see through the thick strands. And maybe offer some tips on how to clean them. The man lunged toward her swinging his blade with the motion. Kaateria parried the attack. The man swung his blade a couple more times in quick succession. Kaateria blocked each one. They continued to circle each other. The man smiled at her. He swung the blade out from his side. Kaateria threw herself back at the waist. The man's steel hit nothing but air. Kaateria popped back up and took a swing of her own. The man blocked it. They each took another couple of swipes at each other. Then the man cuffed her upside the head with his free hand. Kaateria tasted the metallic blood in her mouth. She spit it out on the ground.

  Damon leapt to his feet.

  "Watch his right side, Kaateria. He's favoring it," he yelled from the edge of the ledge.

  "Really don't need your help right now," she yelled back, her eyes never leaving the man in front of her.

  "Ok, but I'm telling you he's favoring his right."

  Kaateria and the man continued to circle. Sizing each other up.

  "Seriously? My life is on the line here. Stop distracting me."

  "You could've just given me a sword. We'd be done with this already. Maybe checked to see if it stopped raining. Gotten something to eat." Damon's stomach growled. "You know, I don't remember when I ate last..."