by Everson Cook
Damon hemmed and hawed, but eventually agreed to Kaateria's terms.
"Hold your hands out."
"You're not going to slice them off with your sword are you? I might be more interested in keeping them on if that's the case."
"No, I'm not going to cut through them. Just hold your hands out."
Damon reluctantly lifted his arms. He pulled the chain tight between them. Kaateria examined them and then nodded. Then tapped them gently with her hand.
And they rattled as they slid from Damon's hands and coiled on the ground.
"Are you serious? That's all it took? I could've done that at any time."
"Yep," Kaateria said with a shrug.
Damon rubbed at his wrists working the blood back into them.
"I found it odd that no one that we ran into ever seemed alarmed that I was shackled. Like it was an everyday occurrence seeing a man in chains. A simple, 'Hey, do you want some help getting out of those?' Or 'Hey, are you being held against your will?' would've sufficed."
"I guess you just look like the kind of guy who enjoys being tied up."
"Ahhhh, ok, that makes sense."
Damon glanced up at the darkened sky.
"You know, we have until the sun sets again tomorrow. And it's pretty dark. We could just rest up. Take a nap. Not here of course."
"We've got to keep moving. The sooner we can catch up to the Belosic the better. We've got to get to that ring before he does."
"I was thinking, now that it's just the two of us, maybe we could forget about the whole ring thing."
"No."
"Oh," Damon said. "All right then."
He shrugged.
And with that being settled, the companions began making their way deeper into the woods.
34
After convincing Damon to not run away by throwing her sword through various widths of wood at varying lengths of distance, Kaateria climbed up on top of a rock and looked back in the direction from whence they came. She held her hand up to her eyes to shade them from the setting sun. She scanned the horizon until she located the rock pillar. She slowly turned around until she was looking in the direction opposite the sun. Satisfied, she turned and yelled down to Damon.
"I think if we wait here we should be able to find exactly where the sun beam directs us."
"See any sign of Belosic from up there?" Damon shouted back.
Kaateria glanced around. The only thing she could see were trees, some rocks, a couple birds, and more trees. And possibly a guy running naked through the woods. Kaateria shook her head rapidly as if trying to clear it and blinked her eyes a few times. She was starting to get overtired.
"No."
"Ok, then this is as good a place as any."
"I don't see anything that might be a cave either."
"I'm sure it's there. I can feel it."
"Maybe you could use those feelings to just take us to where we need to go."
"It doesn't work that way. It's like a dull throbbing that signals to me we're headed in the right direction. But I can't use it to pinpoint the exact location."
"That doesn't make sense."
"I guess maybe the protectors of the ring thought that would be too easy."
"I guess," Kaateria shrugged. "I'm going to stay up here and keep a watch out. If you see or hear anything, let me know."
"And you'll toss me your sword?"
"No, I'll scramble back down. After checking for what I can view from up here. Have to make sure it's safe for me first."
Damon slumped down, his back rested against the rock. His legs spread out before him.
"I'll try not to let you die," Kaateria continued.
"Thanks. Very reassuring," Damon said. Then added, "So, what's our plan? You know, once we find the cave..."
"We go in, find Meridtora, grab the ring, bring it back to King Glendorrys, and part ways. Easy."
"Well, when you put it that way."
"But, we both know that it isn't going to happen that way."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, this Meridtora is supposed to be extremely beautiful, right?"
"That's the rumor," Damon said. And he hoped that rumor was true.
"So, more likely what's going to happen is that we're going to find the cave, find Meridtora, and then you'll get us killed. Or, at least, you'll get me killed. You'll become one of her minions."
"Neither scenario sounds all that bad to me then, really," Damon said. He tilted his head up to give Kaateria one of his boyishly-charming smiles.
His nose was met with a rock.
Blood bloomed from the wound.
And the smile quickly disappeared.
"Ow!"
Damon cupped his hands under his nose. They filled quickly with the maroon liquid. His eyes also filled with liquid. Salty and clear in nature. He refused to call them tears. Because he wasn't crying. He was just really in pain. At least his nose wasn't broken. If it was, well, that would change the story on the tears.
"I'm so sorry. I only meant to drop it on your head. It wasn't that large a rock," she said apologetically.
"Yeah, well, I'm very sensitive. In the nose area." Damon motioned his hands around his nose. Doing his best not to throw the blood around.
Kaateria scrambled down the boulder.
"You've got to tilt your head back."
Damon did as he was told.
"Here." Kaateria reached her hand out and squeezed the bridge of Damon's nose between her fingers, stemming the flow of blood.
After a couple minutes it had completely stopped.
Damon tilted his head back down. He tossed the blood that he still had cupped in his hands, for reasons unknown to him, into the long blades of grass that grew up around the boulder. He wiped his hands on his pants to dry them.
He looked deeply into Kaateria's eyes. But not too deep. Just the right amount of deep. The level of deep where it felt like they were possibly making a connection.
Kaateria stared back into his. An adequate amount.
"Hey, are you guys going to kiss?"
Kaateria's head snapped around in the direction of the noise. Her hand instinctually went to her scabbard. Ready to draw her weapon and fight. But her hand found nothing but air. In her haste she had left her sword on top of the rock. She could've kicked herself. But she was sitting and it would've been difficult.
Standing behind her was a man.
And he was naked.
Entirely.
"Where are your clothes?" Kaateria asked. She hoped her voice didn't convey the shock that she felt. She was also relieved. One, because it meant that she hadn't been hallucinating. And two, she could only see one weapon on the man and it was unlikely to kill her.
"Bless the Gods, that thing is huge," Damon said. He was also in shock. But for different reasons. And he felt very little relief.
"Yeah, I don't know how that, uh, happened," the man replied. He looked down toward his waist.
"Well, I'm guessing it was very incredible genetics," Damon said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, uh, that? No, that was bees," the man said. "I don't know what happened to my, uh, clothes."
"Bees? Did that?" Kaateria said. She tried to keep her eyes locked onto the man's. But it was hard.
Damon continued to stare. He'd seen a lot of things in his time. But nothing like this. This was the thing people wrote songs about. Damon had heard them sung in the pubs. Usually around closing time.
"Yeah." The man raised his enlarged hand. "I'm allergic. Hey, uh, were you guys going to kiss?"
"No." Damon shook his head emphatically. "Were we?"
"I wasn't going to kiss you, if that's what you're asking."
"Oh, ok, yeah. Good. Because that would've been weird," Damon said.
"Really weird."
"Totally."
"Sure, uh, ok. Well, hey, uh, do either of you know where I could find a doctor? I'm not sure how much longer I can go with my hand like this. I should, uh, really get it checked out."
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"Yeah, back that way." Kaateria motioned back toward the village.
"You don't happen to know a man name Jin by chance?" Damon asked.
"No, why? Should I?"
"He's a guy I met recently Also didn't wear clothes."
"Oh, uh, yeah. I usually do. I took them off to go swimming. Couldn't find the spot where I left them." The naked man shook his head and chuckled. "And then couldn't remember how to get back home. I swear, I'd lose my, uh, head if it wasn't attached."
"They'll likely have clothes for you too. At the village," Kaateria said trying to move the conversation, and the naked man, along.
"They're all women," Damon said.
"I don't need women's clothes," the man replied. He looked at Damon with disgust.
"No," Damon said. "All of the men in the village have gone. Left to find," Damon paused for emphasis, "The Devil's Cave."
Then he trailed off as if there was an echo. "cave... cave... cave..."
"Hey, did anyone hear that, uh, echo," the naked man asked. He glanced around expecting to find it coming from somewhere.
"That was just me," Damon said.
"Ahhh, yeah. That makes sense," the man said.
"Actually, what doesn't make any sense is why you're not there," Kaateria said. "At the cave."
"I'm not very good with, uh, directions," the naked man said.
"So, you've just been wandering around these woods with no idea where the cave is?"
"Every once in a while I'll see a man, or a group of men, walking through the woods. I try to follow them, but something, uh, happens, and I lose my way."
"Looks like you've lost more than your way," Damon said.
"Never saw any women though," the naked man continued. He looked at Kaateria with a mixture of interest and distrust. Leaning more toward the latter than anything.
"Say, is that where you're, uh, headed?"
"Yes," Damon said.
"Mind if I, uh, tag along?
Damon started to respond, but before he could say "yes" or "not a problem" or "absolutely," Kaateria cut him off.
"We'll need to discuss it."
"Yeah, sure. Ok." The naked man nodded. "I'll just go stand right over there while you talk."
The naked man pointed at a pile of rocks with a tree growing out of the center. It was 50 yards away, a safe enough distance for him to not hear anything.
"No," Kaateria said, after waiting for the naked man to be far enough away that she was sure he wouldn't hear.
"But--"
"But nothing. We can't bring him along. What if he lets them know we're there and we lose out on the ring because of it?"
"I really don't think that will happen," Damon said.
"I do. And that's not even the worse that could happen."
"Fine," Damon said. "But you have to tell him. I'm not letting him down. The guy clearly doesn't have much going for him. Well, except for that whole thing with his dick..."
"Fine."
Kaateria turned back to let the naked man know they had reached their decision.
But he wasn't there.
Kaateria opened her mouth to shout for him, but quickly thought better of it.
"He probably finally figured out which direction the cave is in," Damon said.
"No." Kaateria shook her head. "He was walking that way. According to you, the cave should be back--" Kaateria's eyes widened in panic. "There!"
She scrambled to her feet, glancing quickly up at the sun. She raced up the rock. Her hands and feet a blur. Once to the top, she twisted and turned until she located the sun. Then she lined it up with the rock on the pillar. She moved her eyes along the path.
Again, Kaateria saw a man running through the woods. But this time, much to her chagrin, he wasn't naked.
It was Belosic.
He turned in their direction.
Kaateria crouched down.
She could still see him, but it didn't appear as though he saw her.
He was too focused on following the path provided by the light.
Kaateria kept her eyes trained on him until he disappeared.
"Come on," Kaateria said as she got back to her feet, grabbed her sword, clambered back down the rock and dropped to the ground. "We need to get moving."
She grabbed Damon by the shoulder and helped him to his feet.
"I saw Belosic."
Kaateria started running.
"And he's found the cave."
35
Damon and Kaateria peered out from behind some bushes. There didn't seem to be anyone standing guard at the entrance of the cave. And they couldn't decide if that made sense.
On one hand, the entrance of the cave was hidden well enough that a passerby wouldn't even give it a second glance. That is, unless they noticed the welcome mat out front. And even then, they would more likely think someone had dropped it there by accident than to assume it was the entrance of a cave that held the most powerful ring in the five kingdoms.
Damon scooped up some dirt.
"What are you doing?" Kaateria whispered.
"Making sure it's ok to proceed," Damon said.
He cradled the dirt in his hands. He turned his body so that he was facing away from the cave's entrance. He glanced back over his shoulder. Then, after silently counting to five, he tossed the dirt up and over.
If it had worked like he intended, the dirt would have landed scattershot on the ground. It would have ideally drawn out anyone who was lying in wait, hoping to ambush them. Then Kaateria and Damon would have known how to react.
But it did not work like he intended.
Right when Damon threw the dirt up in the air, a big gust of wind threw it right back. Kaateria had the sense to keep her mouth shut. Damon, did not. His mouth was still hanging open from when he finished counting.
He spat and brushed at his tongue as he tried to clean his mouth of the crunchy dirt that now inhabited it.
"Gah, disgusting."
"Great plan," Kaateria whispered. Her face did not convey the same message.
Damon rolled his eyes.
"Come on," he said. He got to his feet and brushed the small amount of dirt that didn't make it into his mouth from his clothes. He spit a few more times for good measure. Then swallowed what was left.
"What are you doing?" Kaateria hissed.
"Trust me, if anyone was watching the entrance, they would've come by now."
"I suppose that's true. You did make quite a racket spitting up that dirt."
Kaateria stood and the two of them walked toward the entrance.
"Now what?"
"Poke it," Damon said.
"Poke it?"
"The mat. Poke it. Make sure it isn't a trap."
Kaateria prodded it with her sword. Gently at first. Then a little harder.
Nothing happened.
"Huh," Damon said.
"Huh?"
"I really thought it would be a trap. Quite surprising that it isn't."
Kaateria gripped the handle of her sword tighter.
"Flip it over."
"Flip it over?"
"Yeah, the mat. Flip it over. Maybe there's a key."
"You check for a key," Kaateria said.
Damon looked at her.
"You were going to let me become the victim of a trap. You check for a key," Kaateria said.
"There probably isn't a key. Forget it. No reason to check. I've never heard of a cave having a key, have you?"
"So how do we open it then?"
"Knock?" Damon shrugged.
"We're not going to knock. We're supposed to go in undetected."
"Well, there has to be a way to get inside, right? Check the outside. There might be a lever or a hand hold or something."
"We'll both check," Kaateria said.
"Fine. Ok. We'll both check. You check that side. I'll check this one."
Damon and Kaateria began running their hands over every nook and cranny of the cave. They pushed at the sides. They po
ked and prodded.
"Huh."
"What now?"
"You really do need a key," Damon said.
He motioned for Kaateria to come closer to where he was standing. Then he showed her the tiny opening on the righthand side of the door. It was the perfect size for a key.
"Or a finger."
"Be my guest," Kaateria said. She took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest.
"These hands are too valuable to just go around sticking my fingers in things. And when I do, it's generally after a pint or two, and usually with a pretty strong hint of where it will lead."
"Ok, there's only one way to do this then."
"You'll show me your boobs if I do it?" Damon asked.
"You never do think of anything else, do you?"
Damon shook his head.
"Well, and sword fighting," he said after putting some more thought into it.
"Well, the answer is 'no.' I'm not that desperate. I'll flip you for it."
Damon rubbed his chin contemplating his options. There weren't many. Maybe one, really. At most, two.
"That's fair. But I'm only going to agree to it if I get to do the flipping. We are using your sword for it after all. I'm sure it's rigged."
"Nice try."
Damon and Kaateria stared at each other. They were at an impasse. Damon ran through the available options again. Wondering if he had missed something. And he had. There were actually more options than he thought there were. Although most of them weren't really feasible unless one of them knew magic. Or, was a giant. With super strength. Or, was a super-strength giant who knew magic. Unfortunately, none of these things fit the current situation.
"Ok, fine."
"Ok."
Kaateria flipped her sword from one side to the other.
"This is heads," she said revealing a side that had the words "Property of Flenshorn; Please Return if Found" engraved on it.
"And this is tails," she said flipping it over and showing Damon the picture on that side.
"Is that a--"
"Faun? Yes. It's the Flenshorn mascot."
"I was going to say 'butt.'"
Kaateria took a closer look.
"I don't see it."
"Really? You don't see it? It's quite obviously a butt."
Kaateria examined it some more. Got her face right up in there. Then she shook her head.
