by Neil Gaiman
FIRST OF ALL:
WHEN YOU START OUT ON A CAREER IN THE ARTS
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING.
THAT IS GREAT.
PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING
KNOW THE RULES, AND KNOW WHAT IS
POSSIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE.
YOU DO NOT.
AND YOU SHOULD NOT.
THE RULES ON WHAT IS POSSIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE IN
THE ARTS WERE MADE BY PEOPLE WHO HAD NOT
TESTED THE BOUNDS OF THE POSSIBLE BY GOING BEYOND
THEM.
AND YOU CAN.
IF YOU DON’T KNOW IT’S IMPOSSIBLE
IT’S EASIER TO DO.
AND BECAUSE NOBODY’S DONE IT BEFORE,
THEY HAVEN’T MADE UP RULES TO STOP
ANYONE DOING THAT AGAIN,
YET.
SECONDLY:
IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT YOU WANT
TO MAKE, WHAT, YOU WERE PUT HERE TO DO,
THEN JUST GO AND DO THAT.
AND THAT’S MUCH HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS AND,
SOMETIMES IN THE END,
SO MUCH EASIER THAN YOU MIGHT IMAGINE.
BECAUSE NORMALLY, THERE ARE THINGS YOU HAVE TO DO
BEFORE YOU CAN GET TO THE PLACE YOU WANT TO BE.
I WANTED TO WRITE COMICS AND NOVELS AND
STORIES AND FILMS SO I BECAME A JOURNALIST
BECAUSE JOURNALISTS ARE ALLOWED TO ASK
QUESTIONS, AND TO SIMPLY GO AND FIND OUT HOW
THE WORLD WORKS, AND BESIDES, TO DO THOSE
THINGS I NEEDED TO WRITE AND TO WRITE WELL,
AND I WAS BEING PAID TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE
ECONOMICALLY, CRISPLY, SOMETIMES UNDER ADVERSE
CONDITIONS, AND ON TIME.
SOMETIMES THE WAY TO DO WHAT YOU HOPE
TO DO WILL BE CLEAR CUT, AND SOMETIMES
IT WILL BE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO DECIDE
WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE DOING THE CORRECT
THING, BECAUSE YOU’LL HAVE TO BALANCE
YOUR GOALS AND HOPES WITH
FEEDING YOURSELF, PAYING DEBTS, FINDING WORK,
SETTLING FOR WHAT YOU CAN GET.
SOMETHING THAT WORKED FOR ME WAS
IMAGINING THAT WHERE I WANTED TO BE
(AN AUTHOR, PRIMARILY OF FICTION, MAKING GOOD BOOKS,
MAKING GOOD COMICS, AND SUPPORTING MYSELF
THROUGH MY WORDS)
WAS A MOUNTAIN.
A DISTANT MOUNTAIN.
MY GOAL.
AND I KNEW THAT AS LONG AS I KEPT WALKING
TOWARDS THE MOUNTAIN I WOULD BE ALL RIGHT.
AND WHEN I TRULY WAS NOT SURE WHAT TO DO,
I COULD STOP, AND THINK ABOUT WHETHER
IT WAS TAKING ME TOWARDS OR AWAY FROM
THE MOUNTAIN.
I SAID NO TO EDITORIAL JOBS ON MAGAZINES, PROPER JOBS
THAT WOULD HAVE PAID PROPER MONEY, BECAUSE I KNEW
THAT, ATTRACTIVE THOUGH THEY WERE, FOR ME THEY
WOULD HAVE BEEN WALKING AWAY FROM
THE MOUNTAIN.
AND IF THOSE JOB OFFERS HAD COME ALONG EARLIER I
MIGHT HAVE TAKEN THEM, BECAUSE THEY STILL WOULD
HAVE BEEN CLOSER TO THE MOUNTAIN
THAN I WAS AT THE TIME.
I LEARNED TO WRITE BY WRITING.
I TENDED TO DO ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT FELT
LIKE AN ADVENTURE, AND TO
STOP WHEN IT FELT LIKE
WORK,
WHICH MEANT LIFE DID NOT FEEL
LIKE WORK.
THIRDLY: WHEN YOU START OFF, YOU HAVE TO DEAL
WITH THE PROBLEMS OF FAILURE.
YOU NEED TO BE THICK - SKINNED,
TO LEARN THAT NOT EVERY PROJECT WILL SURVIVE.
A FREELANCE LIFE, A LIFE IN THE ARTS, IS SOMETIMES
LIKE PUTTING MESSAGES IN BOTTLES, ON A
DESERT ISLAND,
AND HOPING THAT SOMEONE WILL FIND ONE OF YOUR
BOTTLES AND OPEN IT AND READ IT, AND PUT SOMETHING
IN A BOTTLE THAT WILL WASH ITS WAY BACK TO YOU:
APPRECIATION, OR A COMMISSION, OR MONEY, OR
LOVE.
AND YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT YOU MAY PUT OUT
A HUNDRED THINGS FOR EVERY BOTTLE THAT WINDS
UP COMING BACK.
THE PROBLEMS OF FAILURE ARE
PROBLEMS OF DISCOURAGEMENT,
OF HOPELESSNESS,
OF HUNGER.
YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO HAPPEN
AND YOU WANT IT NOW,
AND THINGS GO
WRONG.
MY FIRST BOOK - A PIECE OF JOURNALISM I HAD DONE FOR
THE MONEY. AND WHICH HAD ALREADY BOUGHT ME AN
ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER FROM THE ADVANCE - SHOULD
HAVE BEEN A BESTSELLER. IT SHOULD HAVE
PAID ME A LOT OF MONEY. IF THE PUBLISHER HADN’T
GONE INTO INVOLUNTARY LIQUIDATION BETWEEN THE
FIRST PRINT RUN SELLING OUT AND THE SECOND PRINTING,
AND BEFORE ANY ROYALTIES COULD BE PAID, IT
WOULD HAVE DONE.
AND I SHRUGGED,
AND I SHRUGGED, AND I STILL HAD MY ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER AND ENOUGH
MONEY TO PAY THE RENT FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, AND
I DECIDED THAT I WOULD DO MY BEST IN FUTURE
NOT TO WRITE BOOKS JUST FOR THE MONEY.
IF YOU DIDN’T GET THE MONEY, THEN YOU DIDN’T
HAVE ANYTHING. IF I DID WORK I WAS PROUD OF,
AND I DIDN’T GET THE MONEY,
AT LEAST I’D HAVE THE WORK.
EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, I FORGET THAT RULE,
AND WHENEVER I DO, THE UNIVERSE KICKS ME
HARD AND REMINDS ME.
I DON’T KNOW THAT’ IT’S AN ISSUE FOR ANYBODY BUT ME,
BUT IT’S TRUE THAT
NOTHING I DID WHERE THE ONLY REASON FOR
DOING IT WAS THE MONEY WAS EVER
WORTH IT,
EXPECT AS BITTER EXPERIENCE.
USUALLY I DIDN’T WIND UP GETTING THE MONEY, EITHER.
THE THINGS I DID BECAUSE I WAS EXCITED,
AND WANTED TO SEE THEM EXIST IN REALITY,
HAVE NEVER LET ME DOWN, AND I’VE
NEVER REGRETTED THE TIME I SPENT
ON ANY OF
THEM.
THE PROBLEMS OF FAILURE ARE HARD.
THE PROBLEMS OF SUCCESS CAN BE HARDER
BECAUSE NOBODY WARNS YOU ABOUT
THEM.
THE FIRST PROBLEM OF ANY KIND OF EVEN LIMITED SUCCESS
IS THE UNSHAKABLE CONVICTION THAT YOU ARE
GETTING AWAY WITH SOMETHING,
AND THAT ANY MOMENT NOW
THEY WILL DISCOVER YOU.
IT’S IMPOSTER SYNDROME, SOMETHING MY WIFE,
AMANDA, CHRISTENED THE FRAUD POLICE.
IN MY CASE, I WAS CONVINCED THAT THERE WOULD
BE A KNOCK ON THE DOOR, AND A MAN WITH A CLIPBOARD
(I DON’T KNOW WHY HE CARRIED A CLIPBOARD, IN MY HEAD, BUT HE DID)
WOULD BE THERE, TO TELL ME IT WAS ALL OVER,
AND THEY HAD CAUGHT UP WITH ME, AND NOW I WOULD
HAVE TO GO AND GET A REAL JOB, ONE THAT DIDN’T
CONSIST OF MAKING THINGS UP AND WRITING THEM
DOWN, AND READING BOOKS I WANTED TO READ.
AND THEN I WOULD GO AWAY QUIETLY AND GET THE
KIND OF JOB WHERE YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE THINGS
UP ANYMORE.
THE PROBLEMS OF SUCCESS.
THEY’RE REAL, AND WITH LUCK YOU’LL EXPERIENCE
THEM. THE POINT WHERE YOU STOP SAYING YES
TO EVERYTHING, BECAUSE NOW THE BOTTLES YOU
THREW IN THE OCEAN ARE ALL COMING BACK,
AND HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO.
I WATCHED MY PEERS, AND MY FRIENDS, AND THE ONES WHO
WERE OLDER THAN ME AND WATCHED HOW MISERABLE SOME
OF THEM WERE: I’D LISTEN TO THEM TELLING ME THAT THEY
COULDN’T ENVISAGE A WORLD WHERE THEY DID WHAT THEY HAD
ALWAYS WANTED TO DO ANYMORE, BECAUSE
NOW THEY HAD TO EARN
A CERTAIN AMOUNT EVERY MONTH JUST TO KEEP WHERE THEY
WERE. THEY COULDN’T GO AND DO THE THINGS THAT MATTERED,
AND THAT THEY HAD REALLY WANTED TO DO; AND THAT
SEEMED AS BIG A TRAGEDY AS ANY PROBLEM OF FAILURE.
AND AFTER THAT, THE BIGGEST PROBLEM OF SUCCESS
IS THAT THE WORLD CONSPIRES TO STOP YOU DOING THE
THING THAT YOU DO, BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL.
THERE WAS A DAY WHEN I LOOKED UP AND
REALISED THAT I HAD BECOME SOMEONE WHO
PROFESSIONALLY REPLIED TO EMAIL, AND WHO
WROTE AS A HOBBY.
I STARTED ANSWERING FEWER EMAILS, AND WAS
RELIEVED TO FIND I WAS WRITING MUCH MORE.
FOURTHLY: IF YOU’RE MAKING MISTAKES, IT MEANS
YOU’RE OUT THERE DOING SOMETHING.
AND THE MISTAKES IN THEMSELVES CAN BE USEFUL.
I ONCED MISSPELLED CAROLINE, IN A LETTER,
TRANSPOSING THE A AND THE O, AND I THOUGHT
‘CORALINE LOOKS LIKE A REAL NAME. . .’
AND REMEMBER THAT WHATEVER DISCIPLINE YOU ARE IN,
WHETHER YOU ARE A
MUSICIAN OR A PHOTOGRAPHER, A FINE ARTIST OR A
CARTOONIST, A WRITER, A DANCER, A DESIGNER,
WHATEVER YOU DO,
YOU HAVE ONE THING THAT’S UNIQUE
YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO
MAKE ART.
AND FOR ME, AND FOR SO MANY OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE
KNOWN, THAT’S BEEN A LIFESAVER.
THE ULTIMATE LIFESAVER.
IT GETS YOU THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND IT GETS YOU
THROUGH THE OTHER ONES.
LIFE IS SOMETIMES HARD.
THINGS GO WRONG, IN LIFE AND IN LOVE
AND IN BUSINESS AND IN FRIENDSHIP
AND IN HEALTH AND IN
ALL THE OTHER WAYS THAT
LIFE CAN GO WRONG.
AND WHEN THINGS GET TOUCH,
THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. . .
MAKE
GOOD
ART.
I’M SERIOUS.
HUSBAND RUNS OFF WITH A POLITICIAN?
MAKE GOOD ART.
LEG CRUSHED AND THEN EATEN BY
MUTATED BOA CONSTRICTOR?
MAKE GOOD ART.
I RS ON YOUR TRAIL?
MAKE GOOD ART.
CAT EXPLODED?
MAKE GOOD ART.
SOMEBODY ON THE INTERNET THINKS
WHAT YOU DO IS STUPID OR EVIL OR
IT’S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE?
MAKE GOOD ART.
PROBABLY THINGS WILL WORK OUT SOME HOW,
AND EVENTUALLY TIME WILL TAKE THE
STING AWAY, BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER.
DO WHAT ONLY YOU DO BEST.
MAKE GOOD ART.
MAKE IT ON THE GOOD
DAYS TOO.
AND FIFTHLY,
WHILE YOU’RE AT IT,
MAKE YOUR ART.
DO THE STUFF THAT ONLY YOU CAN DO.
THE URGE, STARTING OUT, IS TO COPY. AND THAT’S NOT A
BAD THING. MOST OF US ONLY FIND OUR OWN VOICES AFTER
WE’VE SOUNDED LIKE A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE.
BUT THE ONE THING THAT YOU HAVE
THAT NOBODY ELSE HAS IS
YOU.
YOUR VOICE, YOUR MIND, YOUR STORY, YOUR VISION.
SO WRITE AND DRAW AND BUILD AND PLAY
AND DANCE AND LIVE AS ONLY
YOU CAN.
THE MOMENT THAT YOU FEEL THAT, JUST POSSIBLY,
YOU’RE WALKING DOWN THE STREET NAKED,
EXPOSING TOO MUCH OF YOUR HEART AND YOUR MIND
AND WHAT EXISTS ON THE INSIDE, SHOWING
TOO MUCH OF YOURSELF.
THAT’S THE MOMENT YOU MAY BE
STARTING TO GET IT RIGHT.
THE THINGS I’VE DONE THAT WORKED THE BEST WERE THE
THINGS I WAS THE LEAST CERTAIN ABOUT, THE STORIES
WHERE I WAS SURE THEY WOULD EITHER WORK, OF MORE
LIKELY BE THE KINDS OF EMBARRASSING FAILURES
PEOPLE WOULD GATHER TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT
UNTIL THE END OF TIME.
THEY ALWAYS HAD THAT IN COMMON:
LOOKING BACK AT THEM, PEOPLE EXPLAIN WHY THEY WERE
INEVITABLE SUCCESSES. WHILE I WAS DOING THEM,
I HAD NO IDEA.
I STILL DON’T.
AND WHERE WOULD BE THE FUN IN MAKING
SOMETHING YOU KNEW WAS
GOING TO WORK?
AND SOMETIMES THE THINGS I DID
REALLY DIDN’T WORK.
THERE ARE STORIES OF MINE THAT HAVE NEVER
BEEN REPRINTED. SOME OF THEM NEVER EVEN
LEFT THE HOUSE.
BUT I LEARNED AS MUCH FROM THEM
AS I DID FROM THE THINGS THAT
WORKED.
SIXTHLY:
I WILL PASS ON SOME SECRET FREELANCER KNOWLEDGE.
SECRET KNOWLEDGE IS ALWAYS GOOD.
AND IT IS USEFUL FOR ANYONE WHO EVER PLANS TO CREATE ART
FOR OTHER PEOPLE, TO ENTER A FREELANCE WORD OF ANY KIND.
I LEARNED IT IN COMICS, BUT IT APPLIES TO OTHER FIELDS, AND
IT’S THIS:
PEOPLE GET HIRED BECAUSE, SOMEHOW, THEY GET HIRED.
IN MY CASE I DID SOMETHING WHICH THESE DAYS WOULD BE EASY
TO CHECK, AND WOULD GET ME INTO TROUBLE, AND WHEN I STARTED
OUT, IN THOSE PRE-INTERNET DAYS, SEEMED LIKE A SENSIBLE
CAREER STRATEGY: WHEN I WAS ASKED BY EDITORS WHO I’D
WORKED FOR, I LIED. I LISTED A HANDFUL OF MAGAZINES
THAT SOUNDED LIKELY, AND I SOUNDED CONFIDENT, AND I GOT
JOBS. I THEN MADE IT A POINT OF HONOUR TO HAVE WRITTEN
FOR EACH OF THE MAGAZINES I’D LISTED TO GET THAT FIRST
JOBS, SO THAT I HADN’T ACTUALLY LIED,
I’D JUST BEEN CHRONOLOGICALLY
CHALLENGED . . .
YOU GET WORK HOWEVER YOU GET
WORK.
PEOPLE KEEP WORKING, IN A FREELANCE WORLD,
AND MORE AND MORE OF TODAY’S WORLD IS FREELANCE,
BECAUSE
1. THEIR WORK IS GOOD.
AND 2. BECAUSE THEY ARE EASY TO
GET ALONG WITH.
AND 3. BECAUSE THEY DELIVER THE
WORK ON TIME.
AND YOU DON’T EVEN NEED ALL THREE. TWO OUT OF
THREE IS FINE.
PEOPLE WILL TOLERATE HOW UNPLEASANT YOU ARE
IF YOUR WORK IS GOOD
AND
YOUR DELIVER IT ON TIME.
THEY’LL FORGIVE THE LATENESS OF THE WORK
IF IT’S GOOD,
AND
IF THEY LIKE YOU.
AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS
IF YOU’RE ON TIME
AND
IT’S ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO HEAR FROM YOU.
I STARTED TRYING TO THINK WHAT THE BEST ADVICE
I’D BEEN GIVEN OVER THE YEARS WAS.
AND IT CAME FROM
STEPHEN KING
TWENTY YEARS AGO, AT THE HEIGHT OF THE SUCCESS OF
SANDMAN.
I WAS WRITING A COMIC THAT PEOPLE LOVED AND WERE TAKING
SERIOUSLY. KING LIKED SANDMAN AND MY NOVEL WITH TERRY
PRATCHETT, GOOD OMENS, AND HE SAW THE MADNESS, THE
LONG SIGNING LINES, ALL THAT, AND HIS ADVICE WAS THIS:
‘THIS IS REALLY GREAT. YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT.’
AND I DIDN’T.
BEST ADVICE I GOT THAT I IGNORED. INSTEAD I
WORRIED ABOUT IT. I WORRIED ABOUT THE NEXT DEADLINE,
THE NEXT IDEA, THE NEXT STORY. THERE WASN’T A
MOMENT FOR THE NEXT FOURTEEN OR FIFTEEN YEARS THAT
I WASN’T WRITING SOMETHING IN MY HEAD, OR WONDERING
ABOUT IT. AND I DIDN’T STOP AND LOOK AROUND AND GO,
THIS IS REALLY FUN.
I WISH I’D ENJOYED IT MORE. IT’S BEEN AN AMAZING RIDE.
BUT THERE WERE PARTS OF THE RIDE I MISSED, BECAU
SE
I WAS TOO WORRIED ABOUT THINGS
GOING WRONG, ABOUT WHAT CAME NEXT,
TO ENJOY THE BIT I WAS ON.
THAT WAS THE HARDEST LESSON FOR ME,
I THINK:
TO LET GO AND ENJOY
THE RIDE, BECAUSE THE
RIDE TAKES YOU TO SOME REMARKABLE
AND UNEXPECTED
PLACES.
I WISH YOU LUCK.
LUCK IS USEFUL.
OFTEN YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT THE HARDER YOU WORK,
AND THE MORE WISELY YOU WORK,
THE LUCKIER YOU GET.
BUT THERE IS LUCK, AND IT HELPS.
WE’RE IN A TRANSITIONAL WORLD RIGHT NOW, IF YOU’RE IN ANY
KIND OF ARTISTIC FIELD, BECAUSE THE NATURE OF
DISTRIBUTION IS CHANGING, THE MODELS BY WHICH CREATORS
GOT THEIR WORK OUT INTO THE WORLD, AND GOT TO KEEP
A ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS AND BUY SANDWICHES WHILE THEY
DID THAT, ARE ALL CHANGING.
I’VE TALKED TO PEOPLE AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN
IN PUBLISHING, IN BOOKSELLING, IN ALL THOSE AREAS,
AND NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE LANDSCAPE WILL
LOOK LIKE TWO YEARS FROM NOW, LET ALONE A
DECADE AWAY.
THE DISTRIBUTION CHANNELS THAT PEOPLE HAD BUILT OVER THE
LAST CENTURY OR SO ARE IN FLUX
FOR PRINT, FOR VISUAL ARTISTS, FOR MUSICIANS,
FOR CREATIVE PEOPLE OF ALL KINGS.
WHICH IS, ON ONE HAND, INTIMIDATING, AND ON THE OTHER,
IMMENSELY LIBERATING.
THE RULES,
