He didn’t move a muscle. Just looked at her with narrowed amber eyes.
“Get the fuck out,” she spat at him. “I will not be insulted like that.”
“It’s not impossible,” he said evenly. “It’s happened before. Agents turn. Or maybe you’ve been connected with him the whole time, working your way up through the DEA for some purpose of your own. It wouldn’t be the first time gang members infiltrated the police.”
She just stared at him, her body rigid and quivering. She felt as if sharp blades stabbed inside her. Did he really think that? But she was tough. He could think what he wanted, but she knew the truth.
How she was going to convince him of that was another matter. She could tell him the whole story. And he’d think she was crazy. Or she could tell him part of the story.
But at that moment anger and hurt ricocheted through her and she didn’t want to tell him a damn thing.
“I want you to leave,” she said again, voice tight.
“Make me.” He folded his arms across his chest and met her gaze squarely. “I want answers.”
Oh, there’s what she wanted. A reason to kick his ass. Oh yeah.
She marched over to him, grabbed his shirt and hauled him up off the bed. His eyes widened, hands flung out to the side as she almost pulled him off balance.
“Hey!”
“Make you?” she said through gritted teeth. “Did you just tell me to make you?”
“Uh…Sera, you’re gonna hurt yourself…”
Still gripping his shirt, she whirled him around so his back was to the door, then gave him a shove. He stumbled back. She took one step back with her right leg, planted her left foot firmly onto the floor, and brought her knee up. With a sharp extension of her leg, she laid the ball of her foot into the center of his chest in a stop kick just as he made a move toward her.
Ryan landed hard on his ass. He lay on the floor, eyes closed and she stood there, breathing heavily, hands on hips, staring down at him. She sucked her bottom lip in. Shit. Had she hurt him? He wasn’t moving.
Then his eyes opened and blinked. He looked a tad foggy.
“What the fuck was that?” he demanded hoarsely. He pushed up onto his elbows, looked around him. His forehead creased, and he bent his legs and struggled to his feet.
She stood in front of him, mouth firm, hoping she looked appropriately scary and confident. Her nerves shimmered with adrenaline.
“I said, get out.”
“Oh no.” He shook his head, rubbed his butt with one hand. “You’re gonna pay for that, angel.”
Ryan was ready to chew bullets and spit them out. There was no possible way she could have done that. But she had. That was gonna leave a bruise on his ass. A girl had just knocked him on his ass. Jesus. The humiliation stung more than his butt.
Clearly she’d just caught him by surprise.
“I can make you leave,” she said. And he started to believe her.
“Okay, I’m sorry I said that.” He didn’t move toward her. Probably best to keep his distance until she calmed down a little. He eyed her arms. She had muscles, nice firm biceps and delts on slim, curvy arms that he’d noticed before as attractive when she bared them in a tank top, but…wow. Strong.
And her legs…also strong. She was in awesome shape. In more ways than one.
He swallowed, shoved a hand through his hair. The elastic holding his hair back had loosened and strands hung around his face. Much as he wanted to turn her over his lap and spank her cute, little ass for that, he knew he couldn’t.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “Could we just talk about this?”
“Let’s not.” She glared at him, tipped her chin up. Her fiery combativeness intrigued him, goddammit. More than that, it fucking turned him on. He wanted to close his eyes against that realization. Oh man.
“All right. I’m sorry I said that. About you setting us up. That was out of line.”
She continued to glare at him.
“That’s what’s going to happen, Sera. If you don’t tell me everything. I’m going to wonder about it…worry about it…and consider the possibilities. That’s my job.”
Her body softened slightly. She blew out a long breath. “Yeah.”
“You have to tell me.”
Silence crackled between them. “Okay,” she finally said. She waved at the chair in the corner. “Sit down.”
She sat on the edge of the bed and he took a chair.
Her fingers twisted together and she looked down at them. “I’m sorry I kicked you,” she said in a low voice. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
He gave a jerky nod, lifted a hand.
“When I was a teenager, my father left us.”
He nodded. Waited.
She didn’t look at him. “My mother started dating this guy. Snake. I guess…she fell in love with him. I don’t really know. He was a prospect for the DAs. Into drugs. He used them. He sold them. He got my mom hooked on them.”
Okay. It couldn’t have been Dominick—the recognition didn’t seem that strong.
“What’s the connection?” he asked.
She frowned at him. “I’m getting there.” She shoved her long, dark hair off her face. “Snake was a prospect for the DAs in Oakland at the time. Dominick’s chapter. Dominick wasn’t president then, but they were in the club together there. I met him once, when I was a kid.”
“Where did you grow up?”
“San Francisco.”
“Ah.”
“Snake was…” She paused, rolled her lips in as she appeared to struggle with words. “He was an abusive, low-life criminal.”
“Like many DAs.” He was starting to see some things.
“Yes. And my mom, like many of the DAs women, put up with a lot because she loved Snake. Put up with a lot.”
Again, he nodded, not knowing the details but he could imagine a helluva lot, based on his experiences.
“My mom became addicted to meth. It was…awful. She needed it more than anything. She loved that drug, more than she loved me. She’d do anything to get it. Snake controlled her with it, got her to start…selling herself…for drugs.”
“Jesus.”
“And…” She lifted eyes dark with torment. “She was going to sell me.”
Ryan surged to his feet, barely aware he had risen. He clenched his fists. “How old were you?” he demanded.
“I was fifteen.”
“Jesus Christ. Did you…did she…?”
Sera shook her head, hair sliding in a silky fall over her shoulders. “She didn’t do it, because I tried to commit suicide.”
“Whaat?” He gazed at her, his heart a hard ball in his chest. “Oh fuck.”
“I didn’t succeed. Obviously. I took some of her stuff, tried to overdose.”
“Oh, Sera.” He stared at her.
“In many ways it was the best thing that could’ve happened. I ended up in the hospital and there was no hiding what was going on in my family. Social workers were all over me. I ended up in foster care.”
“What about your brothers?”
She stared at him blankly. “My brothers?”
“You said you had brothers.”
Huh? Then the fog cleared. “Oh! That first night we met!” She shook her head, unable to stop the small smile that tugged her lips. “I made that up. I don’t really have any brothers.”
He frowned. “Oh.” He shook his head. “What about your father? Couldn’t they locate him?”
“No. It was like he disappeared. At first my mom told me he was just gone for a while, that he’d be back.” She twisted her fingers together. “I kept asking and asking when. And then one day she told me she’d talked to him and told him never to come back again. I didn’t believe her. I thought if he’d come back, he would have come to see me. But he didn’t. Or maybe…” She shrugged. “Maybe he did come back and she gave him the boot and he didn’t bother trying to see me. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter.”
Ryan wanted to curse again, but just shook his head, fists still clenched. He forced himself to relax his fingers.
“The foster home I ended up in first was…dysfunctional.”
Ah hell. He could guess what that meant. The tightness in his chest intensified.
“The next one was better, but then I turned eighteen and I was on my own.”
“How did you…Sera. To become a DEA agent…all on your own…”
“I was determined.” Her small chin was firm, her mouth pressed together, her eyes steady. “I felt…you’ll think this sounds crazy…I felt a calling. Like I had to do this.”
He shook his head. “No. I understand.”
“I thought about becoming a social worker. So I could help other people. But I…” She paused, swallowed hard. “I decided this was what I wanted to do.” She lifted her gaze to his. “My mother died shortly after I was taken away from her. I’ve always held Dominick Casas partly responsible for that. He and his drug dealing have killed so many people, Ryan. He’s one of the biggest players in northern California, and now with this new drug, targeting young girls…his influence and power are spreading.”
“Yes.” He processed everything she’d told him. “But why did Casas look like that at you? Did he recognize you?”
“I…don’t think so. I think he just thought I…he was attracted to me.”
“Fuck.” He paused. “You sure that’s it?”
“That’s too hard to believe?”
“No! That’s not what I meant.” He growled. “I just want you to tell me everything.”
She sighed. “I probably look a little like my mother. She was a few years older than I am now when he met her, but he may have thought I look familiar because of that.”
“Shit.” Anger flared in him, burning hot. “You could have jeopardized everything by doing that.”
“He doesn’t know who I am and he never will. I’m well backstopped.”
“Shit happens. Christ, Sera. I can’t believe you’d be so stupid. Take such a risk.”
“Now I’m stupid.” She pushed her hair back. “I knew you didn’t think much of me, but in the space of a few minutes you’ve accused me of being a liar”—she stuck out her thumb—“a criminal”—her index finger poked out—“and stupid.” She added another finger. “Thank you very much.”
He could have growled in frustration. His nerves were on edge with tension and amplifying everything. “You’re not stupid. But if he recognized you…”
She shrugged. “So what if he did? I was a kid, on the verge of getting into drugs and prostitution just like my mother. Why would it surprise him if I ended up the girlfriend of a gang member, selling drugs?”
True. “But then how do you explain the alias and the bogus background?”
She blinked at him. Kept her face carefully controlled, although he saw he’d scored a point with that one. Ryan rubbed his face. Sucked in a breath, let it out slowly. “Sera, if you’re going to be part of this mission, you have to be a team player. You have to think about the big picture, about the entire operation. You can’t just do your own thing. The consequences of your actions affect everyone, not just you.”
She just sat there, hands in her lap. He waited for an apology that didn’t come. Shit, she was stubborn. But now he understood better where she was coming from. Why she was so tough and independent. Why she was so determined to nail Casas and his lab.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said, voice tiny.
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have accused you of setting us up.” He moved to the bed beside her, the urge to pull her into his arms and comfort her almost overwhelming. “Thank you for telling me that.”
She stood. “Don’t get all mushy,” she said. “I’m fine. I’ve made it this far. I can look after myself.”
“Yeah. About that…you knocked me on my ass, Sera.”
She rubbed her upper arms. “And I’ll do it again if you don’t watch it.”
“Not likely, sweetheart. You might have caught me off guard once, but never again.”
She smiled. “You’d like to think that. Remember, I know taekwondo.”
“Right. Fourth degree black belt. But…”
“It’s all in the technique. Anyway, now you know I can look after myself. With you. With anybody. Right?”
He studied her. Sure, she had the grace and lean muscles of an athlete, but still… “Right.”
“Then we’re good. I’ll see you back in L.A. next week.”
He continued watching her. He didn’t want to leave. Didn’t want to leave her. Which was completely crazy. Thank god she was moving into the house next week and he could keep an eye on her all the time. And yet, clearly she didn’t think she needed any protection, any guidance.
Slowly he rose to his feet. “Okay. Yeah.”
And he left her motel room with mixed-up emotions about Sera and her role in the operation and her surprising abilities. And her past.
Shit. She’d really had a crap life as a kid. Thinking about what had nearly happened to her made his guts twist into knots. And her suicide attempt… Christ.
In the past he’d always thought of suicide as cowardly. Maybe taking the easy way out. But when he thought of fifteen-year-old Sera being pimped out, knowing the kinds of things that could have been done to her–his stomach roiled to the point of nausea. She had to have been terrified, and maybe the option she’d tried to choose was better than what she could have faced. And clearly, she wasn’t weak and cowardly. He’d like to say she was stupid rather than brave, but in all honesty he couldn’t say that. Inexperienced, yes. And she was definitely strong, physically anyway. She may have gotten lucky, managing to get him off balance and then landing a kick dead center, but that wouldn’t always happen. Even killer moves in martial arts couldn’t protect her from everything, and she could get herself into serious trouble with a misplaced sense of confidence, with that damn streak of risk-taking he recognized only too well.
Hell. She kept saying she could look after herself and he was beginning to believe her but even so, even though she’d knocked him on his ass, he found himself feeling unaccountably and annoyingly protective toward Sera. Dammit.
Chapter Ten
“You guys are pissing away money.”
Ryan glared at his SAC. “We have to.”
Darren ran a hand through thinning hair. “Not that much money, for Chrissake. Now you want to buy stolen Harley parts?”
“We think these are the motorcycles that were stolen in Clover City. They’re breaking them down into parts and selling them. This is probably only the tip of the iceberg.”
“Let’s just concentrate on one thing,” Darren said. “You’re losing focus.”
Ryan scowled and glanced at Manny, slouched down in his seat, office lights gleaming on his head, slowly chewing his gum. Nothing ever bothered Manny.
Then he looked at Sera, who appeared a bit confused, brows drawn down, gaze moving back and forth between him and Darren.
“I thought we needed to get as much evidence as we could, about any criminal activity,” she said.
Yay Sera.
Darren shot her a you-don’t-know-what-the-hell-you’re-talking-about look.
Waaaaait just a minute. Darren couldn’t look at her that way.
“That’s right,” Josh said. “We’ve got guns—trafficking and possession—drugs, stolen motorcycles. Possibly interstate. Extortion. Assault.”
“Possibly homicide,” Ryan added.
“Homicide!” The word exploded out of Darren’s mouth.
Ryan sent a sidelong look at Sera. “Not for sure on that one.”
Manny nodded.
“And we’re damn close on RICO. Come on, Darren. It’s worth it to spend a few bucks. The arrests we’re going to make…”
Darren sighed. “Fine. But this can’t go on forever. And no cowboy stuff.” He frowned sternly at Ryan. “You follow the rules. Hear me?”
“I hear you.”
But he wasn’t listening.
Rules were made to be bent, as far as Ryan was concerned. Which caused a large part of the friction between him and his SAC. Would Darren’s retirement ever come? Not likely before the end of this op.
When the meeting ended, Ryan, Manny and Sera retreated to offices to work on the paperwork. There were tons of surveillance reports to write, tape transcripts to verify, timesheets to do after the weekend they’d had. Josh, too, typed madly with two fingers on a keyboard at a desk.
“You didn’t say anything about the angel sugar lab,” Sera said quietly to Ryan, below the clicking of keyboards and the warbling of telephones.
He didn’t even look up from the computer at her. “That’s because that’s not part of this op.”
She slapped a hand down on the desk and his ass lifted off the chair, head jerking up. “Yes, it is part of this op,” she said through clenched teeth, leaning down to him. “That is my goal—the DEA goal—and we’re helping you with your goal. Remember? Remember the lecture about being a team player?”
“Uh…” Shit. She was right.
“We could be getting close to busting the biggest drug lab in California!”
“He calmed down, so don’t worry.” Ryan resumed typing. “Next time, we’ll use that to convince him to keep going.”
“Next time?”
He met her eyes. “Yeah. You don’t know Darren. He’s always threatening to pull the plug. Hates it when things don’t go perfect. And you’d think we were spending his personal money.”
She blew out a breath. “Great.”
“Do your reports.”
She retreated to another desk and began typing. He watched her fingers fly on the keys. She’d be done in an hour and he’d be there all week. He scowled.
He wanted to finish so he could get to the hospital and see his mom. He’d called as soon as he was back at his L.A. apartment. She was holding on, but still not expected to last much longer. He had to get there to see her. That familiar guilt settled on his shoulders like a weight once again. He’d been playing all weekend, drinking beer, having fun—sort of—playing at working. He knew what he did was important, but sometimes he regretted the things he had to give up for his career.
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