by M.G. Marquez
CHAPTER FIFTY
MAGGIE
I woke up, screaming. I could feel the rush of adrenaline all over my body, as well as the coldness of Fear embracing me. I wrapped my arms around me, then covered my ears, and felt my head. I’m still whole. Intact. No hole. No blood.
Just a dream, Maj.
“Janella,” Panting, I turned around and saw Guji standing by the door. He’s dead worried. “You’re screaming again,”
“I’m fine,” I choked.
“You want me to sleep beside you?”
“No. It’s okay. Good night,” I lied on my bed and covered myself with my blanket. Curled up like a kitten, I cried. Why am I here? Why am I in this place, in his life? Why am I putting my life in danger?
I can go. I can escape.
But I shook my head. There can be a lot of reasons why, but there’s a single reason why not. Why not?
I felt the other side of the bed sank and an arm was draped over me. “You can scream all you want here. I’ll never go deaf,”
I wanted to touch his arm but retreated at once.
I went to school though I’m feeling a little awful when I woke up. My head’s kinda heavy, so are my feet. I don’t want to go to school. But I did.
While walking toward school, something dropped from above. When I looked down to see what that was, I saw a black rose lying on the ground. Hesitantly, I picked it up. I looked around before moving into a sprint. Once I’m inside the campus, I turned the card around and read what’s written on it. This was different from all I got.
I am counting your days, Janella Ponce. I’m on the 99th actually. Be careful.
Having read that, I dumped the rose at the nearest bin to me. I decided to walk on.
“Oooh eyebags. Can I have those and make a fortune?” Nikki teased while pressing the dark circles under my eye.
“Can I have your brain and make a fortune? I’ll be a billionaire, I bet.”
“So, where’s Guji?” She asked me, looking around. I raised both of my shoulders and said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since morning. Did you?”
“Oh, no. You guys go to school together, isn’t it? Why ask me?”
I disregarded her and put my bag on top of my desk. I dropped my head and slept. No nightmares today. Nightmares only happen at night. I waited until shapes of different colors drowned me to sleep.
Before I went home, Fred gave me a bar of Hershey’s cookies n’ cream and made my spirit more alive. “Such a sweet boy, Fred.” I was about to hug him for such sweetness but he pushed me away.
“Maybe Mean’s watching. She’ll be jealous – OUCH!” I punched his stomach.
The next day, it was Jason who handed me the same brand of chocolate, same flavor. “What’s into you guys? Why are you giving me chocolates?”
“Well,” he checked his watch and said, “Valentine’s Day is two days away. The boys love to give chocolates to girls they like,”
“Shit this. You like me?”
“Not that kind of like you’re thinking, stupid. I like you as a sister. And I bet Fred and Klein feels the same way,” he smiled and patted my head. “Which reminds me, have you seen Guji?”
“No. Did you?”
“No. I’ve been calling him but he never returns any of them. I wonder where he’s gone,” he said goodbye to me before going on. I pursed my lips and walked to the other direction.
Guji was never home since Monday. Today’s a Wednesday already. I’m starting to worry.
I dialed his number and for the nth time, it was his voice mail which answered me.
“BD, hey. Klein gave me a bar of Hershey today. Just like Fred and Jason the other days, haha. How are you? Where are you?” I bit my lower lip to fight the loneliness here inside of me. I don’t want to think that he ran away because he heard something from my sleep. That I’m in danger because of him. He won’t do that to me. “Anyway… I called to tell you that our research supplemental materials are done. I’m editing it already and am ready to pass it by tomorrow. So… do you want to pass it with me? Well. It is okay if you don’t want to. Bye.”
Before ending the call, I still managed to say “I miss you. So much.” After that, I buried my face on my pillow and tried to fall asleep.
I went to school early the next day to set up Fred’s surprise for Mean. I want this to be perfect because Fred’s been crying to me because he’s afraid of rejection. Oh Fred. He’s going to propose to Mean today, Valentine’s Day.
“Yvan, where are the balloons?” I asked hysterically while scattering rose petals on the stairs.
“Just calm down, okay? You ordered them just this morning so don’t demand,”
“I should’ve ordered them yesterday but your friend here just didn’t give me enough money. Bastard.” I kicked Fred’s side who’s sitting on the stairs. “Just make it fast. And thank you,”
“You’re always welcome,”
The balloons came later and everything was all set. Fred walked up to me and tugged my sleeves. Annoyed, I asked “What do you want?!”
“Boss, I need a hug.”
“I think you need a punch instead,” but I hugged him anyway. I tapped his shoulder blades. “Don’t be such a gay. I know you can do this,”
“Thanks Boss. You’re the best,”
Nica texted and said she and Mean were at the gate. That became our signal and hurried to our positions. When I saw that Mean’s on the circle I made just for her, I called Fred and the others to come down from the second floor to start the show. When the music and the dance choreographed by Fred himself started, I saw that Mean’s cheeks were flushed and was jumping in place in kilig. I knew that would happen.
I watched how artistically Fred went down the stairs. He was dancing while singing. I smiled because I’m a proud Boss.
He took her hand and together they went up the stairs to the balcony of the building. Up there, we used rose petals to make a large heart and a text inside of it, saying “Will you be my girl?”
Fred knelt in front of her and took her hand. I gasped.
“Mean Ramirez, will you be Frederick Yun’s girl?”
One, one two, two three.
“Yes,”
And I think I threw a shoe at Fred at that. We all cheered and celebrated Fred’s 246th relationship, and hopefully the last. We ate, sang, and made our Valentine’s Day/Friendship Day amazing.
“Thanks for the day guys. I love you all,” I said as I dropped off my house. My sister’s out for a duty so I guess I’ll be alone tonight. I put my things down and lied on my bed. I stared at the ceiling and counted the times I called Guji but never called back. It’s Valentine’s Day and I didn’t get to see him. Amazing.
It’s past 11:20 and my eyes never ached this bad. I need to sleep but I can’t. Maybe it’s because I only have 96 days to live. Pretty bothered, yes.
My phone beeped and that made me sat up. Fred sent a message telling me that they have found Guji, unconscious. He said that he’ll come over my house and fetch me. When I heard the honking outside, I rushed out. The car’s door was already open for me so I jumped in.
“What happened?” I asked.
“You’ll know when we get there,”
“Get where?!” Instead of answering me, he just drove fast. It’s just a matter of minutes when we stopped by Guji’s house. “He’s here?”
“Hurry!” Klein took my hand and we ran inside the mansion. Hana approached me, teary-eyed. I looked around and realized that they’re feeling the same thing. I turned to face Fred and saw that he’s crying for Pete’s sake. He looked horrible.
“Where is he?” I demanded, firm. “Tell me where he is,”
Klein held my hand and led me upstairs. We walked on until we reached a door that I’ve never opened before. “He’s here?”
“Yes.” He turned the knob and pushed me inside. Once inside, he closed the door behind me in.
My eyes squinted in the darkness. “Guji?” I walked in the darkness and felt something weird a
round my legs. A bunch of something round and light was bouncing everywhere whenever I walk.
“Ouch,” I complained when something thin like paper slapped me in the face. “Guji? Are you here?”
In a snap, the lights went on and I heard someone playing the piano. My heart skipped a beat when I realized that I’m in the middle of a Sea of Red Balloons. My mouth went O-shaped when I heard his voice, singing.
“Oh, I want to make you smile,
Whenever you’re sad,
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad,
All I wanna do… is growing old with you,”
Guji. He looked at me from head to toe and kept his laughter to himself. Okay. I rushed here wearing a T-shirt and a pair of Spongebob shorts. I even got myself a pair of mismatched slippers. A perfect outfit for such a perfect moment.
“I’ll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold,
Need you, feed you,
Even let you hold the remote control,”
I looked up and still saw a sky of red balloons. I touched the black and white photos attached to their ends and laughed at them. They’re stolen pictures of us when we’re sleeping, talking, or fighting. Some of them were taken when we’re at the park, handcuffed. I blushed. My friends saw us flirting, damn that.
“So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink,
Put you to bed when you’ve too much to drink,
I could be the man who grows old with that Spongebob shorts,”
He stood up and walked toward me. “NO! Don’t you dare step any closer!” I threatened him while I’m trying to stop my eyes from crying. Gosh, this is so overwhelming!
He stepped forward, I stepped back.
I let out a scream because I couldn’t contain the joy of seeing him and this whole set. I screamed even more when I saw our wedding photo framed in the wall that was so large I could tell that it’s a lot bigger than me.
The Future of Us. The words were printed at the top of the photo and I can’t help but laugh.
“You were unconscious, huh?” I laughed. “Those guys are a bunch of liars,”
“I’m sorry. That was my idea,”
“Thank you for making me worry, Hot Shot. Look at me,”
“Great sense of fashion – HEY!” I spanked him hard.
“So what’s this about? Making up for the whole week of your absence? I mean, where the hell have you been?”
“Here. I’ve been here all along,” my jaw dropped at that. Slowly, I watched him knelt in front of me like he’s proposing. I covered my mouth and inhaled. He took out a box from behind and opened it.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I gasped.
“I may be older than you by two years, born much ahead of you,” he began saying. “I don’t even care what your age is. All I want now, at this moment, is to grow old with you. Let’s grow old together, Janella. Do you think that’s a great idea?”
I placed his cheeks on my hands while staring straight into his eyes. His eyes were a different shade of brown, lighter and fuller of life. “Of course I do. I love that,”
“So… will you be my girlfriend? Not just my girlfriend but mine for the rest of your life?”
Never hold back. Be true to yourself. Be human.
“Yes.”
Overjoyed, Guji took the wristwatch out of the box and put it on me. I’ve never had a wristwatch before. This is the first time someone gave me such.
“I’m time conscious, you know that.” He said.
“And you hate being late,”
“But I love it when time stops whenever I’m with you,”
I leaned in to kiss his forehead down to the tip of his nose. We both laughed and hugged and dropped ourselves in the Sea of Red Balloons. Drowning, I kissed him more, on his cheeks, on his nose, on his eyelids, kissed here, kissed there, kissed him everywhere.
“So… you’ll sign my bond paper now?”
“Later,”
Side by side, we stared at our photos. I reached one and pulled it into my view. I remember running after each other in the hallways and ending up in the dining hall and falling asleep. That’s the first time we ever get to sleep beside each other. I remember Nikki, Via and Paola taking this picture and laughing about it because I was drooling.
I shook my head. The memory was so fresh.
“I didn’t expect that I’ll fall in love with you,” Guji commented at the photo.
“Neither did I. You’re such an asshole,”
I felt my heart race minute after minute. The thought of me having a boyfriend right on the first second of February 15 is something. With Guji being that guy is a greater something.
Then I felt my heart throbbed. Not just the kind of heart-throbbing you get when you lie next to the one you love, this is different. This is the kind of throb you get when you’re afraid. And I am afraid right now. The thought of dying suffocates me.
But as I watch him talk about the life he dreams for the two of us, I decided not to speak anymore. I decided I should not to tell him my life’s in danger. That I’m going to die. That I’m going to be gone before he knows it.
He’s too happy.
And I could not possibly jeopardize this state he’s currently in just because his new girlfriend’s going to die in 96 days. I am selfish. I want to own his happiness now at the expense of the fears I have.
I am selfish and I choose to let him make happy memories with me before they take me away.
“You okay?” he asked me.
“I couldn’t be better.” I smiled. “I see that you’ve found your notes? I love the way you play the piano, been meaning to tell you.”
“My music comes from a great amount of happiness. I think it’s you who brought my music back. You are my happiness. You are great.”
I am selfish, and I want to own you.
For the last 96 days.
