That reminded her. She’d placed a replica of a child’s pull-along car on her watch list, and the auction would end that evening. She should check whether she had any competition yet.
Before she could open her computer, a knock came at the door. Surprised, she pulled at the waist of her pajama top. She hadn’t requested maintenance or ordered food delivery. Her neighbors kept to themselves. It wasn’t yet time for Girl Scout cookie orders, and management frowned on door-to-door solicitation.
“Alena? May I come in?”
Alena dropped the hem of her shirt. Raven? Even though she had given Raven her home address for yesterday’s pick-up, she still couldn’t grasp the situation. How had Raven come here, and why? When Lorelei had asked if she would be at home, Alena had said yes without thinking. Florida was a long way from Michigan, after all. She considered changing back into her skirt and leggings, but it seemed pointless. Raven had already thrown her away, so why try to make a good impression now?
That last thought saved her. How dare Raven throw her out and come after her?
“No!” She shouted through the door. “I’m busy. Go away!”
The knocking came again. “I’m afraid there’s been a misunderstanding. I’ve come to apologize.”
That made Alena stop in her tracks. From the little she’d read, mistresses did not apologize. Even more, they didn’t drive halfway across town to make the apology. She gave her pajamas a rueful tug. If only she’d gotten laundry done instead of crying and feeling sorry for herself! She threw on her robe, a pink terrycloth one more suited to stay-at-home moms than successful authors, and unhooked the door chain. If Raven wanted to apologize, she could apologize to the robe.
On the doorstep, Raven leaned forward with her hand outstretched to knock a third time. She wore a navy blue variation of yesterday’s close-fitting outfit that made her look both tall and imposing. She blinked at Alena, who felt more keenly aware of her disheveled hair and mismatched clothes. Alena tried to shove a rocking horse behind the door and out of sight.
Raven held out the white envelope Susan had tried to foist onto Alena earlier. “Please,” she said, opening Alena’s reluctant hand and placing the envelope inside. “We made an agreement, and I didn’t keep my word. I can’t make things up to you, but at least I can help you with your bills. Even if you don’t want to speak to me again, let me help you this way.”
Alena opened her mouth to tell Raven to get lost. She didn’t want to be bought, and she had no intention of providing another afternoon’s amusement. She threw her head back, but something in Raven’s expression halted her. Instead of the regal, self-assured ice queen of yesterday, uncertainty sparked in the older woman’s eyes. She hesitated as if asking for Alena’s approval, or even permission.
Without knowing why, Alena felt guilty. While she hadn’t agreed with Raven’s actions the day before, she didn’t want to change roles. She had gone yesterday hoping for validation. What did Raven want from Alena now?
It was easier to take the money than explain why she couldn’t, so she slipped the envelope into the pocket of her robe. She looked down, feeling dirty. She didn’t want the money. Even if it funded her eBar obsession for a few more months, she didn’t want money from a woman who didn’t want her.
“May I come in?”
Without blinking, Raven entered and seated herself at Alena’s dilapidated armchair. The chair had seen its better days in Alena’s youth, when her mother had recovered the armchair in plaid material. Now, decades later, the plaid clashed with its surrounding furniture and sprouted dirty stuffing from the back seam. Alena wanted to tell Raven to get out, but the odd juxtaposition of beaten-down chair and elegant occupant made her laugh instead. Raven looked unnerved, but she remained silent.
“I’m sorry,” Alena said at last. “I—”
“I’m the one who’s sorry.” Raven clasped her hands together. “Forgive me, but let me please ask you one question. What did you hope to gain from visiting me? What did you want when you heard about my proposed arrangement?”
Alena stared into the distance, wondering why she allowed Raven this second chance. What could she offer, after all? What could Alena hope to give in return? She’d already been judged once and found wanting. “I know you can’t be a Victoria,” she said, hating herself for being the sucker once more. “You’ll be different. I don’t know if I can handle someone telling me what to do, and giving up a whole night and day every week is a bigger commitment than I’ve made in a long time. I like my space. I like being my own person. But…”
Raven leaned forward, eyes alight with hope. “But?”
Alena’s voice came out soft, faint, and quivering with the fear of second rejection. “Lorelei said I needed someone. I’ve watched how much happier she’s become now that she’s found Celine. I didn’t want to step outside of my comfort zone, but I trusted Lorelei. She said you’d be good for me.”
Raven held out her hands. It was as if she didn’t want to, but she couldn’t help herself. Even though it was Alena’s home, not hers, she became the hostess wherever she went. Alena hung back, unwilling. She’d had enough hurt for one weekend.
“I was wrong,” Raven answered. “I was wrong about you, wrong about the situation, and afraid. You awakened in me feelings I’d never intended to have for any submissive, and I doubted myself. I made up reasons to doubt you and to send you away. Your friend Lorelei has told me in no uncertain terms that if I ever hurt you again, I should flee the country.”
Alena laughed. Happiness flooded her chest. Lorelei had come through. She didn’t know how, but Lorelei had found the words to fix things. She couldn’t understand why Raven wasn’t posting diatribes against both of them all over Kinklife, but she was glad. Raven asked her forgiveness. Raven had come all this way to tell her that she, Alena, was wanted.
“Will you give me a second chance, my dear? May we start again?”
Raven opened her arms, and this time Alena walked toward her. She took the strong hands in her own, allowed arms to encircle her, and folded herself into the embrace of the older woman’s lap. Laughing and crying, she accepted a kiss to the cheek.
“What could you want from me? What made you change your mind?”
Raven stroked Alena’s hair, tracing the tiny scar where Alena had fallen as a toddler and required stitches in the emergency room. “How you sell yourself short! I could ask you the same question, girl. What could you want from a mistress so insecure she sent away a submissive rather than admit her fears?”
Alena couldn’t understand. Lorelei seemed sure of herself, even when she had told the story of uncertainty earlier that day. If anyone should feel unsure, it would be the submissive who waited for rejection or acceptance. “How could you be afraid?”
Raven played with the sash of the ridiculous pink bathrobe. “We’re both new at this. If you’ll forgive me, I’ll forgive you, and we’ll start fresh. Can we do that?”
Alena nodded, even though her head told her no. What was she getting herself into? “So what happens now? Do I go to you next Friday?” Don’t be a fool, Alena! You haven’t talked about any boundaries or rules. You’re going to let her do everything all over again?
Raven cuddled her, kissing her cheek again. “Would you, this once, allow me to take you home tonight? I’d feel awful if we had to wait a whole week. And…” She coughed, her cheeks turning a slight pink. “I’d miss you. I can’t wait to begin working together.”
So many questions flooded through Alena’s mind. What was she agreeing to, exactly? What would “no safeword” mean? What if Raven insisted on something that Alena objected to morally? Lorelei talked to her. It must be okay. I can trust Lorelei, can’t I?
Alena closed her eyes and basked in Raven’s embrace. Someone wanted her. Needed her, even. Had set aside everything else to come and ask for her. And, for that matter, had given her a spanking that sent her into a thrill of excitement and happiness. How could anything about this setup be negative? Raven h
ad apologized, after all. How wonderful it would be to trade loneliness for belonging. It was only once a week, right? Alena could make anything work once a week. Plus, she’d never have to worry about finances again. Maybe she could even bid on the pull-along truck as well as the car. Margaret Bloom inspired an entire line of children’s toys to go along with her poetry, and Alena had always wanted to collect them all.
Alena gave a long sigh and released her fears. Maybe Raven would turn out to be wrong for her, after all. But why not try? As much as it might hurt to face rejection a second time, the sweet kisses felt better than anything Alena had experienced in months.
“Okay,” she said. “What do I need to bring?”
“Just you,” answered Raven, and she helped Alena stand. “You never need to bring anything but you. I’ll provide the rest.”
Still in her terrycloth robe and plaid pajamas, Alena stepped out the door with Raven at her side. As she disappeared into the enormous, sleek black car, Raven made her sit down. Raven held her hand the entire way, never letting her go.
“You’re my girl now,” Raven said, and Alena knew it was so. Nothing in the world could be better than being Raven’s girl.
Chapter Ten
On the way home, Raven held Alena’s hand. The girl blushed and stammered, finger-combing her hair and alternating between pulling her robe tighter and trying to hide it. Maybe Raven should have let her get more comfortable before leaving, but impatience had gotten the upper hand. Besides, she couldn’t wait to try dressing Alena in a more appropriate style. She tried to offer reassurance.
“Don’t worry about your clothes. I have some you can wear, and Clara will alter them for you.” How sweet Alena would look in the dresses chosen by Mother years ago! Raven would have given anything to look good in them, but watching Alena wear one would be even better.
Alena wriggled in her seat. How soon could Raven make her wriggle for the right reasons? “I forgot to lock my door. I don’t have my keys, or wallet, or anything.”
Raven leaned forward. “Peter. After you drop us off, please return to Miss Alena’s home to lock it. Where are your keys, dear?”
Alena gave a blank look. “On the keychain?”
Raven laughed. “Sassing already? Or are you that disorganized?”
“You didn’t give me much of a chance to get organized,” Alena pointed out. She gave a shiver.
“Cold?” Raven put an arm around her, surprised at the newfound protectiveness. She’s a newbie. You’ve barely met her. Slow down! “Or scared?”
Alena tugged at the end of her bathrobe sash. “Wondering what it’ll be like.”
They turned onto Raven’s street and pulled into the semi-circle driveway. Peter got out to open the door for her, and she guided Alena forward. “How can we know until we try?”
* * *
Midnight: Any luck yet?
Raven: Perhaps.
Midnight: Perhaps! Do tell.
Raven: I have a new girl sleeping in the guest room. What more can I say?
Midnight: No! I expected you to drag your feet for a month or two.
Raven: She’s a funny little girl, completely new to the scene but with a charm of her own. Makes the cutest noises when she’s spanked.
Midnight: You are smitten already! How did you find her?
Raven: Well, I put up the advertisement you suggested. Something feels right about this.
Midnight: I’m thrilled for you, but aren’t you moving a bit fast? When did you meet her?
Raven: Uh. Yesterday. But she went home in between, so technically this is our second meeting.
Midnight: Should I assume she brought her U-Haul?
Raven: Ha, ha. So funny.
Midnight: You spanked her already? Raven, I’m delighted you may have found someone, but I hope you’re thinking things through.
Raven: Oh, goodness! I’ve had quite enough of people telling me what to do. First you insist I find a girl, then the girl’s friend tells me to be careful with her, and now you’re getting cold feet. We had a lovely, chaste evening filled with harmless conversation.
Midnight: I’m happy for you, my friend. I just don’t want to see you get hurt—or her. I’ve known you for years, and you’ve never latched onto anyone this quickly. Are you sure she’s legitimate? Are you preparing her for your service?
Raven scoffed.
Raven: She’ll only be here one day a week. We’ll take it slow, but thanks for the advice, Mom.
She grinned before Midnight’s reply appeared.
Midnight: Let’s hope you don’t teach her to brat, Sassy.
Years before, Midnight had taught Raven about submission. They almost never spoke of it now, but Midnight’s nagging brought out the long-ago dynamic.
Raven: All the better to spank her, my dear.
Midnight: LOL! I see there’s no reasoning with you. Very well, I wish you both well. Just don’t spoil her. There’s nothing worse than a spoiled sub.
Raven: Yes, Mom! Thanks, Mom! :P
Chuckling to herself, Raven signed off. She set her pen and notepad to the side, switched off her computer, and made a few marks in her planner. She had much to arrange before Alena’s first official visit. A girl to discipline, at last! The possibilities were endless. She should book an appointment with her hairdresser and maybe make-up consultant as well. Lorelei knew Alena the best, and she advocated a gentle approach. After all, Raven didn’t want to come on too strong. She’d screwed up once already.
She ignored Midnight’s warning against spoiling. Alena was sweet, tender, and unassuming. Hardly spoilable. Raven had a girl of her own at last, and she intended to enjoy every minute of it.
She walked through the hallways, straightening a portrait here and picking up a piece of lint there. Clara would have been horrified, but Raven enjoyed feeling needed. Fifteen years after her parents’ death, she still felt an impostor. She was still a girl of twenty-five playing at adulthood, not the mature, middle-aged woman who should have established herself in life. Even Clara and Susan, who had watched her grow up, now treated her as the Lady of the House.
Raven passed Alena’s room, and she paused in the doorway. The girl lay amongst piles of pillows, ivory nightgown ruffles at neck and wrists. Her cheeks flushed with sleep, she murmured before rolling onto her side.
Watching her, Raven wanted to stroke her hair. She didn’t want to wake Alena, though, and she remained motionless. Something stirred inside of her heart. She would now be responsible for guiding and protecting this younger woman. Was she up to the task? What if she failed?
Raven set her shoulders back. They’d take it slowly and gently, the two of them. Love and kindness would encourage Alena’s better nature. Already Raven had gleaned a wealth of information from their conversations. Alena worked hard, but she lacked discipline. She missed meals, skimped on sleep, and tended toward impulsive decisions. Raven would emphasize good habits, and slowly Alena would follow.
Wouldn’t she?
Chapter Eleven
A1star: Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Lorelei: Lol, what now?
A1star: You talked to Raven!
Lorelei: Ah, that. I did some more checking around, calling in references, etc. I hope it works out for the two of you, but she means business.
A1star: Oh, no. She was so sweet and lovely. So kind. She said you threatened her if she hurt me again, too!
Lorelei: What are friends for?
A1star: I just got back this morning, and it feels like a dream.
Lorelei: Wait. This morning?
A1star: Yup. We had wild, satisfying, and kinky sex until daybreak.
Lorelei: No more than my girl got.
A1star: I’m kidding!
Lorelei: I’m not. But we did make some gingersnaps.
A1star: Gingersnaps? But…
Lorelei: I’m kidding. Maybe.
A1star: Hm, starrygirl’s not online. Wonder why.
Lorelei: Oh, you brat. She’s
working.
A1star: Working, or “working?”
Lorelei: Speaking of work, shouldn’t you be writing?
A1star: Nah. I’ve got a sugar mama now.
Lorelei: Ha! You have a disciplinarian, and you will answer to her for your behavior.
A1star: Yeah, yeah. But that’s not you.
Lorelei: I may have to contact Raven and warn her about your brattiness, young lady.
A1star: Didn’t you say something about ginger? Is starrygirl awake yet?
Lorelei: I’ll chalk this one up to giddiness and let it go, but be warned. From now on, your behavior reflects on Raven even more than it does on you.
A1star: Very funny.
Lorelei: You’ve been part of the online community long enough to know how this works. I know you’re excited, but be careful.
A1star: What, that people will think badly of Raven if I tease you?
Lorelei: Well, do you tease me in public?
A1star: No, not really.
Lorelei: So think harder.
A1star: No one’s going to know we’re together, so why does it matter?
Lorelei: Has she asked you to keep it a secret?
A1star: No, but it just happened yesterday.
Lorelei: I think you’re missing the point. You’re seeing the fun and games of having someone to discipline you. I’m asking you to look at the responsibility.
A1star: Oh, please! We had to talk for ages about responsibilities and expectations.
Lorelei: Good. I’m glad to hear it.
A1star: Um. Lorelei?
Lorelei: Yes, dear.
A1star: Does this no safeword thing seem strange to you?
Lorelei: Does it to you?
A1star: Maybe.
Lorelei: In what way?
A1star: I don’t know, that everything’s maybe too good to be true? But she was so sweet.
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