No one would believe something like that, straight out of a movie. But what a hunk. Over six feet tall with dark brown hair, those blue eyes sparkling like sapphires. She should have guessed something was wrong with him. Too perfect. So attractive, so direct, he asked her out to dinner the first time they met.
Little did she know the price she’d pay for a simple yes answer. A simple acceptance to what seemed like an innocent invitation. Better to have thrown herself under a speeding bus.
For the rest of the afternoon, she wandered from site to site then found a beer garden. Gray clouds swirled and rain threatened to come down, but there was less noise outside. She took out her cell phone and dialed the old number. Likely it wouldn’t work, but she’d try it anyway. To give him a warning that she’d come for him.
“Sveiks, Imants.” She said hello to Imants when someone answered. Silence. “Is this Imants?”
Someone breathed on the other end.
“Excuse me, is this Gunita?” he answered.
“Who else sounds like me? Of course, it’s Gunita,” she replied, then lowered her voice remembering her public surroundings.
“I haven’t spoken to you in over twenty years. How would I know it’s you?”
“Just like you to keep old things and old numbers. Are you happy?” She swigged the beer and wished she ordered a mixed drink instead.
“I suppose. At this moment, I’m more surprised than anything.”
“Let me ask you again. Are you happy? You stole my daughter. Now you stole my life.”
“I can’t change the past. You gave up the imprint. We are nothing and I have nothing to answer for.”
“Nothing to answer for? You took everything from me, Imants. Every last thing. How could you have nothing to answer for?”
“Is this why you called me? To re-hash a past I can do nothing about?”
The phone trembled in her hand. She wanted to ream him. “Just remember, Imants, what goes around comes around. And when we least expect it, we get hit where it hurts the most.”
Drops dampened her hair and stained the stones on the street to a darker ash. She clicked the phone off. Brought from home, she wasn’t sure how her number appeared in Imants’ caller ID, but she didn’t care. Crazy his number still worked. The drops spattered harder, and lightning cracked across the gloomy clouds. She downed the beer, paid, and ducked under a nearby roof.
What time was it? Heavy sheets of rain cut across the darkening sky. She glanced at her phone then tucked it into the inner pocket of her purse. Four o’clock! Geez. How wild. She’d forgotten how early sunset arrived in autumn.
Her stomach tensed as the streets grew shadowy and the streetlights flicked on. She could kick herself. How could she have lost track of time? The vampires would be out in force and if they got her, she wouldn’t even remember the attack.
And lucky her, she forgot her umbrella in her hotel room. She took off her jacket, spread it over her head, and dashed toward Dome Square and her hotel. A whole lot of good the protection did. Rain hit her at an angle and soaked her to the skin. She shivered and her teeth clacked. Her heart pelted against her ribcage as hard as the rain fell. She needed to get inside before dusk came. Before one of her enemies hunted her down.
Chapter 9
Sarma’s incisors grew and she stared at her own index finger. Her cheeks heated with frustration. Reinis stared at her, waiting for her to make a move. They’d maintained Auseklis with Reinis’ blood, but he hadn’t gained much weight. His pale color lingered, and for a vampire baby, he remained a small size.
Her chest hurt. Her body ached. The fact that her son didn’t grow weighed on her shoulders. She didn’t cause his illness, but the lingering effects were her fault. Why couldn’t she overcome her fear? Nausea swamped her, and her extended hand trembled. She despised herself. Everyone else in the coven and her family must hate her, too, for not being stronger. For not helping their Morning Star. They just hadn’t said a thing. Yet. Because she couldn’t do a simple task. Bite down on her finger and give him three easy drops.
She looked up at her heartmate. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I know I need to. I know he won’t recover fully until I help him. But Reinis…I just can’t.”
He pursed his lips and grunted. “We can’t wait much longer. Don’t you see he’s not improving? You can help him, Sarma. You’ve got to do it.”
Auseklis’ tiny mouth wiggled like he wanted to feed. Like he smelled her blood and needed it. Her chest tightened and she looked away from him.
She covered her mouth and shook her head. “I know. I know I have to do this. Don’t you think I’m aware, so painfully aware that I’m the block to my own baby getting better? I feel horrible. And yet I can’t do it.”
The baby’s grunts became whimpers. Soon he would cry. And that killed her. She waited for Reinis to yell at her, to pressure her to tell him why she didn’t want to do it. To scold and blame her. The way she told herself over and over what an awful mother she was for not being able to help Auseklis. Everyone else must think so too. Why couldn’t she get over herself?
Instead, Reinis exhaled a long, slow breath, came to her side, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Something must not feel right for you. I’m sorry this is so hard, Sarma. I’m sorry I’m a vampire, and you’re a vampire. And that you were forced into all of this. I wish I could help you. I wish I could take whatever pain is holding you back.”
His arms eased the strain in her body, brought cool affection to the hot guilt that crushed her. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Though she hadn’t revealed much about what blocked her, somehow, he instinctively dialed in on what happened with her. He wouldn’t judge her. He never had. Even when he became angry about something, he did so out of fear or protection. She didn’t deserve his kindness, but maybe she could explain this feeling to him. Maybe he would hear her out.
She released his arms, picked up Auseklis, and carried him to the loveseat. “I’m sorry, son. So, so, sorry. For not helping you the way I should.”
What if Auseklis heard what she had to say and he didn’t like himself because she couldn’t accept what she’d become? That would add another layer of pain to his life he didn’t need. Why did becoming a vampire hurt so much? She nursed and rocked him. Reinis came to her side and placed a pillow beneath him.
“Whatever it is, Sarma. You can tell me. I’m here for you. I’m your heartmate. We’re supposed to carry our burdens together.”
In her arms lay the most precious thing she’d ever seen or had in her life. She needed to fight this feeling for him. The only way to get past it was to explain her struggles. Auseklis needed her to speak.
“I hate being a vampire.”
Reinis coughed and jolted forward. His pupils shrank to pinpricks. “You hate being a vampire?”
“That’s what I said,” she mumbled. Darn it. Now she upset him. She slumped her shoulders and focused on Auseklis’ hand clutching her finger. The harsh words came out. What would he say? He’d probably decide he made a huge mistake in choosing her as a heartmate. In fighting for her to be his for all of eternity. How could he not feel insulted? She side-glanced at him, waiting for him to respond.
He stood, strode over to the bassinet and gripped the edge. “What about being a vampire makes you hate it?”
She caressed Auseklis’ feather soft hand. His innocent green eyes stared up at her. He was perfect. Not like her. Broken and ugly. Why did he have to look at her now? His beauty hammered in how much she hated herself for not being able to do something different. “I don’t know how to explain really. It’s not a specific thing I can understand. I don’t know how to tell you.”
He pivoted around. “Then let your mindguards down. Allow me to experience what you feel. Maybe I can help you understand.”
She dared to steal a glance at him. “You’re not mad at me? You’re not offended?”
In a blink of an eye, he rushed across the room and kneeled next to her. He took her hand and squeezed
it. “Why would I be offended? Nothing you can say will hurt me. I don’t blame you for what you feel. Sarma, my sister tried to kill you. She forced you to become a full blood against your will. I don’t imagine this has been the dream vacation you imagined when you came to Latvia.”
Sarma let his hand go and brushed his cheek, loving his short stubble under her fingers. She missed him so much. “Paldies, Reinis. For supporting me. For holding me when everything makes me feel like I’m failing. For not judging me. For making me feel safe when nothing has been right since we met. Except for you. I’ll let you in.”
Auseklis had fallen asleep in her arms. She wrapped him tightly and cradled him in her arms. Then she closed her eyes and lowered the guards that protected her mind from anyone reading what she thought, but also kept her trapped in the loneliness and fear that had been gnawing at her. She breathed softly, opening her heart. The imprint whirred, and the familiar warmth lit up like soft silver moonlight.
Warm shivers spread over her skin. Reinis’ imprint hummed in his chest when they connected. He scanned her emotions and dug deep into her mind, analyzing her memories, her notions about being a vampire. She opened herself to the depth of her being, the way she had when they made love the first time on the beach. When their hearts had beat as one for the first time, the way two heartmate’s hearts joined when they imprinted each other.
He sighed. “You feel like a monster? Like you can’t feed Auseklis because you feel terrible about yourself?”
She nodded. “When my mother said she hid the fact that I’ve always been part vampire because she hates us, it hit me in the gut. But I don’t understand it. I look at all of you in such admiration. Amazement. Our abilities are what most humans dream of having. You never scared me. Well, not much anyway. And I love my son as he is. So why don’t I accept me?”
The imprint hummed harder. She trembled and stiffened. Something wanted to come up, but she didn’t know what. She contemplated putting Auseklis in his bed but she didn’t want to move. Reinis picked through her brain uncovering images and emotions as he went. Her mind flickered through memories of life since she’d come to Latvia. Her body quaked. Waves of heat then cold rolled through her. She couldn’t take much more of this. Without warning, scenes of Velta attacking her surged in her mind. A shock wave hit her and she lurched forward. She slammed her mindguards up, closing Reinis out of her mind. He couldn’t see this. The worst part.
In that moment, her conversion displayed before them with every gritty, painful emotion that had accompanied it. Terror. Sadness. Revulsion about what had happened. The darkness that overcame her as she plummeted toward death. Velta’s fangs tearing her flesh and the determination to murder her. Agonizing pain shot through her veins like it occurred all over again. Silent sobs shook her body and she swallowed back the cries that threatened to tear out of her mouth. She didn’t want to wake her son.
She popped her eyes open. Reinis caught her and took Auseklis out of her arms. He put the sleeping baby into his crib, picked up a blanket and wrapped it around her. The ugliness racked her and she didn’t want to look Reinis in the eyes. He rocked her in his arms but he couldn’t wipe away that sick sensation that she had become a ghastly beast.
Chapter 10
Gunita sipped on her third glass of wine. Might as well make the last afternoon in Latvia a good one. She ordered smoked herring and cucumber salad at the Black Cat House Restaurant. She’d been there for several days and decided to return home early. Not sure what insane idea made her come here. She’d committed a mistake. She wasn’t going to search for Sarma.
And she wasn’t going to go after Imants either. Better leave it all alone and return to San Francisco. How would she find him anyway? She couldn’t remember the name of his coven. House of something…from Latgale? Latvia was a small country, but finding a creature trained at hiding? Impossible. No doubt about it. She wanted Imants to suffer. But how in the world could she get back at a vampire with super strength and senses? Why didn’t she head to the forest and pick a fight with a grizzly bear?
The Black Cat House was one of her favorite places in Riga. A yellow, five-story building with two black cats perched on its turrets. The story told was that a man who wanted to enter the Blackhead guild she’d been at a few days ago, was not allowed entry, had built the enraged felines with their backs arched, tails raised, and rear ends pointed toward the guild. The cats no longer faced their tails toward the guild, but it was an appropriate place to visit before she rescheduled her flight.
She inhaled the smoky fish scent and sank her teeth into bitter, black bread. Sweet cucumber and dill salad crunched between her teeth. Nothing like the real thing. At home, they imported the bread. This herring was a recent catch. Every morsel made the trip worth it. Gunita savored every bite and nibbled the food to solidify her last memory of this place. Because she’d never, ever return.
Gunita glanced around the restaurant. Someone watched her. After living with Imants, she’d learned to have heightened senses. At first, she had no clue what a devil he was, but after he explained it, he told her he was not allowed to be with her because she was human. And he had another family. With four children. Triple disgusting. She allowed him to hang around for a while before she rid herself of him for good, but she always had one eye over her shoulder wondering if “someone from his coven would kill her” for being with him.
By the door, a woman wearing a black fashionable dress spoke with the waiter. She pointed in Gunita’s direction as if to be seated there. A wide-brimmed hat and dark sunglasses almost disguised her appearance. All expensive looking. She wasn’t finished eating and didn’t want to abandon her plate. Who could that be? When she looked up again, the woman pulled a chair out from the table and asked, “May I sit?” She spoke in Latvian.
With a fork in hand, Gunita grimaced. The lady occupied the chair without waiting for an answer.
“Please, forgive the interruption to your meal. Feel free to finish. I have something important to tell you but we have no rush.” The woman placed her Gucci handbag on her lap but did not remove her hat or glasses.
“Do I know you?” Impossible to enjoy the meal now with this strange woman seated before her. Yet she couldn’t waste the pricy food so she cleared her plate.
“You do not. But you will know me soon. We share something in common. I’m sure you will agree,” she purred, her voice smooth like buttermilk.
“I don’t like puzzles or mysteries. Out with it. You have my daughter? You want a ransom? You can have her. She abandoned me the day she returned to Latvia.”
People stared at them and stopped eating at Gunita’s raised voice.
“Nothing like that. I’ll explain everything but we need a private place,” she explained with a smile over her lips.
“I don’t know you. I’m not going anywhere private.”
Gunita shoved the last bite in her mouth and motioned the waiter to come to the table. This lady was out of her mind. Better return to the hotel and not leave again that night. Had she been followed before today? Gunita frowned. With no clue about her intentions or if others were with her, taking cover was the best plan. She paid and marched out of the restaurant without looking back.
Before Gunita hit the street, the woman appeared in front of her. Her handbag rocked back in forth in her hands like she had dashed out of the restaurant.
Dizziness swamped her. The hairs on the back of her neck and arms stood like electricity shocked her. Adrenaline shot through her blood and her heart socked into her throat. The world turned on its side.
Only one species moved like that. A vampire.
Chapter 11
“Focus on the light, and with your mind tell it to go off. Reinis guided Sarma. It’s just like if you told me to turn off the light, but you’re doing it yourself.”
“But I want to fly. We should practice that instead.”
“If you can’t turn off a light, you’ll probably fall out of the sky and kill yourself. One t
hing at a time.” He chuckled.
“You’re right. But this is harder than I thought.” She turned toward the bright lamp with a shiny black shade. She’d been trying for three days to turn the light off with her mind with no luck so far.
“Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Believe in yourself. You were always more vampire than you knew.” He twirled the ends of her silky hair between his thumb and forefinger.
A smirk twitched on her lips. She’d been so wound up about not being able to do it, she had forgotten that she’d always been half vampire. With the pure blood flowing though her veins since they’d made her full blood, she had the power within.
They hadn’t finished the conversation about the horrible Velta memory, and she didn’t want to. But it made her a little more curious about what she might be able to do. She took a deep breath and without opening her eyes willed the lamp off. Reinis whooped and laughed again.
“You did it!” he hollered and scooped her off the ground, swirling her around, startling a sleeping Auseklis who bawled. He placed her down, approached the bassinette and scooped him up.
A smile grew in her heart as he rocked him and sang a lullaby in Latvian, hushing him back to sleep.
“You did it, Sarma. I knew you could!” Reinis gushed in a quiet whisper, patting Auseklis on the back.
Sarma approached Reinis and Auseklis and pulled them close, enclosing their son between them. Reinis extended an arm around her and kissed her on the lips. Seeing Auseklis in his father’s muscled arms was such a turn on.
“I always believed in you.”
“And I, in you.” A smile curled up on her lips that only he could produce. The imprint in her heart purred.
“Listen. We never finished our conversation after I read your mind. I think there’s a bit more to talk about.”
Sarma’s elation deflated. He had to remind her of that crap. “I’m sure. Not now though. Okay?”
Darkness Born: Paranormal Vampire Romance (Immortal Desire Series Book 1.5) Page 5
