A small grin spreads across his face. “I told you I had some errands to run.”
“Errands? I didn’t realize errands took four days.”
He lifts the tall beer glass to his lips and finishes it in two large gulps. “Had to run up to Bozeman for some lumber and to meet with an architect for a job I have up there.”
“So your business is back up and running then?” A small lump forms in my throat as I motion for Will to grab me a beer.
“Yup. That was the deal I made with Ma. I told her after the cabin renos were done, I’d be back on the road with the biz. I’ll check in on her and make sure things stay kept up, but she can hire a handyman with all the extra revenue she’s generated lately.”
I had forgotten how much he traveled with his business. That’s a big reason why I never really interacted with him much over the years, even though he technically still lived here. I remember his mom telling me how much she worried about him and missed him when he was gone. She’d go weeks without hearing from him.
“Yeah, you did a great job with those cabins. They look fantastic, and I can’t believe how booked up they are.” We both nod, and he turns his attention back to the TV for a brief moment.
“Got any big projects coming up?” I try to sound nonchalant, but I can hear the tension in my own voice.
“Go ahead and ask what you want to ask me, Pearl.” He doesn’t take his attention away from the TV.
“What is this?” The words tumble out of my mouth.
“What do you want it to be? You know the line of work I’m in, that I travel and I’m away a lot. I’ve got a project in Alaska that will be at least two to three months, and the Bozeman job could be just as long.”
I want to tell him that I’m falling for him, that what I feel is real and all-encompassing, that I want more with him, but I’m too afraid. I’m afraid he thinks he’s just a replacement for Trevor, a rebound. I’m afraid I’ll end up brokenhearted and alone. I’m too afraid I’ll end up like Tracey.
“Actually, can we talk about this outside?” I glance around the restaurant. “There’s a few too many eyes and ears in here. I’ll meet you out there,” I say as I toss a few bills on the bar and head toward the door.
I lean up against his truck since my car is right under a lamppost. I don’t want the local town gossip seeing us together and getting the wrong idea. I mean, they’d be correct about us, but I don’t need everyone meddling.
The restaurant door opens, and I see him step out and glance around before spotting me waving by his truck. I watch him walk toward me, and the lust I have for him takes over. If I can’t have a relationship with him, maybe I can just enjoy him and get him out of my system like Jade said.
Before he can say anything, I push off the truck and grab a fist full of his flannel shirt in my hands, pulling him toward me until his mouth is on mine. He stumbles before catching himself against me.
He reaches around and grabs my ass, pulling me tighter against him as his other hand grips my hair. He’s rough, but it’s exciting. He knows I’m inexperienced, and he’s gentle when necessary, but he doesn’t let it stop him from taking what he wants.
He breaks the kiss and steps back, running his hands through his messy hair. “Pearl, unless you want the rest of Grand Lake to see you bent over the hood of my truck, we need to stop.”
I pick up the keys he dropped when I kissed him a moment ago and unlock his truck. I open the driver’s side door and climb in, scooting over the passenger side. Without a word, he gets in and we drive to his cabin in silence.
He slides the gear into park and shuts the truck off once we arrive, but instead of getting out, he pulls me onto his lap. It’s completely dark and secluded where he parks, but I still glance around as he undoes the buttons on my shirt. He presses his soft lips to my exposed neck and trails kisses and licks down my chest. My shirt hangs open, leaving me exposed in my bra.
He reaches a hand up and pulls the cups down, taking my breasts in his hands. It’s like he’s trying to memorize me. He puts his hands around my back, pressing me forward until he begins to slowly lick and nibble my breasts, stopping only to switch from one to the other. I can feel his erection pressing against me.
“Tell me how this is going to be, Pearl,” ge says as he presses my hips down firmly against his manhood.
I let out a small moan as I feel wetness pooling in my panties. “I—I just want you. How long till you leave?”
“A few weeks,” he says as he leans forward again and licks at my nipples. It’s like an electric current goes straight to my lower belly.
“Then let’s make the most of it,” I say, leaning forward to capture his mouth with my own.
Twelve
Blake
I watch as Pearl casually moves around my kitchen, whipping pancake batter while closing the fridge with her hip. It’s been a few weeks since our first night together, and I’ve thought of little else besides when the next time I’ll be able to feel her was going to be. I take another sip of my coffee from my vantage point in the doorway. She insists I let her cook and not interrupt her "perfect pancake recipe."
I can’t help but smile when I see a small blush creep up her neck when she sees that I’ve been watching her. The T-shirt of mine she’s wearing barely covers the top of her thighs, and every time she reaches up or slightly bends over, I can see the bottom of her ass peeking out. I toss her a little wink and smirk to see her giggle. My chest tightens at the lovely sound that she makes. It’s unnerving how natural things seem between us, how easy she just fits into my life. It’s not just the sex. It’s the way her smile makes me feel, how I can see her eyes light up when I smile at her, the way she lies perfectly in the nook of my arm, against my chest when she reads, and how her scent has permeated every inch of my cabin.
I feel the knots start to form in my stomach as I think about our future, or lack thereof. We never finished the conversation outside the bar. My guess is we’re both living in denial. I leave for Bozeman in six days, and I want to savor every second I have with her, but at the same time, I want to run away and not face how hard leaving her is going to be.
“What’s going through that head of yours?” I didn’t even hear her sneak up behind me. She snakes her arms around my waist and lays her hands flat against my chest. Her warmth feels so right against me, so real and pure.
“Just going through a mental checklist of things I still need to get done before I head up to Montana.” I can almost feel the warmth leave between us when I mention leaving. I knew it would kill the mood, but I need to put some space between us and regain mental clarity. We stand in silence for a moment, neither of us moving. Finally, I step out of her embrace and turn toward the kitchen.
“Smells delicious. You trying to fatten me up?” I pat my belly and hope I’ve lightened the mood, but she doesn’t move. She’s staring out the back window still, and I can see the small hint of a tear forming at the corner of her eye. I take a step to move toward her, but she quickly turns and heads toward the bedroom.
“Go ahead and eat. I’ll be right out,” she says with a half smile before disappearing around the corner. I recognize the attempt at self-preservation and don’t push the matter. Either we face the music and have a conversation about it, or we’ll continue to be in denial and avoid it till I leave.
It’s Sunday, so neither of us have work. Pearl has been working fewer shifts at the restaurant since business has picked up at the cabins. We sit sipping our coffee in silence as the wind rustles through the aspens.
“I love it here,” she says barely above a whisper. “Think you’ll ever leave? Permanently, I mean?”
I rub the back of my neck. “I dunno, haven’t given it too much thought. I suppose I could after Ma passes. I don’t really have a reason to stay other than her.” I stare straight ahead when I respond, but I can feel her eyes on me.
Without a word, she gets up and walks back in the cabin, letting the door slam. I can feel the tension rad
iating off her body from outside. I give it a minute before following her.
“Pearl?” I look around, but I don’t see her anywhere until she walks out of the bedroom fully dressed in her own clothes with her purse.
“You heading out?” I ask.
She stomps over to the front door and shoves her foot into her boot, yanking it on before repeating the process with the other one.
“Yeah. I don’t want to keep you around here since you clearly have no reason to stay. Maybe you can get a head start since you want to run away so bad.” She turns and places her hand on the doorknob. In three steps, I’m across the room. I put my hand against the door, preventing her from opening it.
“God dammit, Pearl. I knew you’d take it the wrong way.” The truth is there really isn’t any other way she could take what I said, and I knew that when I said it. I’m a coward, and instead of just manning up and telling her that I can’t be her future, I’d rather just make her hate me.
“Seriously? How the hell else could I take that, Blake? Clearly, I’m just a good time fuck for you...hell, maybe it’s not even a good time. I’m just another notch in Blake Winthrop’s belt buckle. No need to sugar coat it with me, okay? I’m a big girl.”
“Yeah, clearly.”
“What, Blake? Just say whatever it is that’s on your mind!” She’s yelling now.
“You say you’re a big girl, and you act like I’m the bad guy here when you’re the one that is using me to get over my own damn brother! Wasn’t it just a few months ago you climbed into my bed thinking it was him saying you loved him? And now all the sudden those feelings are magically gone so you can get into my bed? You’re throwing a tantrum when you’re the one who suggested we just enjoy the time we had together. Isn’t that right, Pearl?” I hate that I’ve lost my temper with her again.
I can see tears welling up in her eyes, and instead of yelling back at me or slapping me like she should, she just hangs her head as sobs roll out of her. Her shoulders hunch forward, and she covers her face with her hands.
I want to reach out and comfort her, but the truth is I’m just a good time for her too. I’ve let myself fall for someone who just sees me as a rebound from her true love, my own brother.
“Hey, Blake. How’s the business going? You left for Montana yet?” Trevor asks.
I cradle my phone between my shoulder and ear as I lean down and gather up my tackle box equipment.
“Not yet. I head out on Saturday. I’m just heading down to Durango for a day or two for some fishing before I head out.”
“Durango? Why the hell would you drive seven hours away?” He stops. “What happened?” He says with a sigh. “Tracey call you?”
“What? No. Well, actually, yeah, she did, but that has nothing to do with my trip.” I know my little brother can smell my bullshit from a mile away.
“Riiiight. You live at the edge of Grand Lake and within an hour of some of the best fishing spots in Colorado, and you’re just taking a quick seven-hour road trip? Spill it, old man.” I can’t help but laugh at how perceptive he is.
I take in a breath. I’m not even sure where to start. “Tracey did call me a while back. Said she’d been doing some thinking and wants to talk. She tried coming to town, but I told her no. I haven’t heard from her since. But that’s not the problem…” I let the silence hang in the air.
“No?”
“I uh—I think I messed up.”
“Not you, Casanova. If you can’t figure out a lady issue, then we’re in a mess because you were always the one with the talent, not me.”
“It’s Pearl.”
“What? Is she okay? What happened?” I can hear the genuine concern in his voice. Since they reunited a few months back, I know they’ve kept in contact here and there, so I don’t know if she’s told him anything. My assumption is no by his reaction.
“No, you idiot. She’s the…she’s the lady problem.” The silence on the other end of the line is deafening. “Trev?”
“I’m not understanding, Blake.” Gone is the jovial tone of his voice, and it’s replaced by the unwavering tone our father used to use when we’d messed up something fierce.
“I…I think I’m falling for her, man.” I hear a sigh and then a small laugh, which relieves my anxiety a bit.
“I was completely joking when I said I thought she had a crush on you, but wow! Does she feel the same? Also, how long has this been going on?”
“Listen, man, if you want me to walk away, I’ll do it. I know you guys have something special, and you’re way closer to her than I’ll ever be.”
“Blake, if you love her, you better not let her go. Pearl and I have been friends for what feels like forever, but that’s all it ever was for me. I know she felt differently, and she and I talked through all of that a few weeks ago. Funny enough, back then, she said she’d met someone and she felt like she was falling for him…I had no idea it was you.”
My heart feels like it’s about to explode. Did he just say Pearl told him she was falling for me? Weeks ago? “Well, with how much I travel for work, I asked her what she wanted this thing to be between us, and she said we should just enjoy the time we have, but when I said something to the same effect, it hurt her feelings and she stormed out.”
“Oh, Blake, you’re an idiot, bro. You have to realize if you feel this way about her, she probably feels the same way. Imagine if she treated you like you were just a convenient piece of ass.”
I hang my head and rub my temple, realizing how much of a dick I’ve been. “I did bring up the fact that she was using me to get over you.”
“Okay. If I were there, I’d lay you out. You can’t throw that in her face, Blake. The hell is wrong with you? Is that how you really fell?”
“I don’t know! Fuck! I’m hurt. I wanted her to tell me she loved me and that she didn’t want to be with you anymore, but she just hung her head when I said it. I think she’s young and doesn’t know what she wants yet.” I toss the rest of the stuff in the back of my truck and get in.
“I think that’s a copout. I think you’re both scared, and you just need to tell her how you feel.”
“Yeah, I know. I just need some time. Thanks for the talk, Trevor. I’m going to get on the road.”
“Any time, brother. Just do me a favor, please. Be good to her and be honest with her. And for God’s sake, man, please tell her Tracey called you because that’s the kind of shit that will bite you in the ass if you try and hide it.”
Thirteen
Pearl
“I heard back from the Chicago job,” I say between bites of wings.
“And?” Jade asks, wiping off the sauce from her chin. She and I have several little traditions, one being wings and beer on Tuesday nights.
“The phone interview went really well, and they asked if I could fly out there for an in person interview. I told her I had to wrap something up here this week, but I could be out there by Friday morning if that works for them.”
“Aw, yay! I’m so proud of you and happy!” She pulls me in for a half hug, careful not to get her sauce-covered hands on my shirt.
“You have to wrap up the job at the Winthrop cabin’s this week?”
I was hoping she’d skip over that little detail and not ask me what I’d meant.
“Well, that’s part of it, yeah. I told Mrs. Winthrop about the job when I applied. I didn’t want to just leave her in a lurch if I got it. But also…Blake.”
She drops her half-eaten wing and spins to face me. “Meaning?”
“Well, since that night after the Fourth of July dance, we’ve kind of been…” I take a long drink of my beer, not wanting to say it.
“Spit it out!”
“Hooking up, I guess?” I feel like an idiot, not even sure what we’re doing.
“You guess?”
I turn away from her scrunched-up face. “Yeah. I mean,” I take in a long breath, “he has some pretty big jobs coming up out of state, and you know he’s gone for months at a
time. That’s not really how I want a relationship to go, with us not seeing each other for weeks and months, so we kind of agreed to just enjoy the time he had left. He leaves for Montana on Sunday.”
“I could see how that wouldn’t be an ideal relationship. Did you consider going where he is? You could travel and do the cabin marketing job from the road as long as you had wi-fi.”
I roll my eyes. She’s being nice, but it’s not realistic. “Yeah, I did think about that actually, but I’m happy here, Jade. Not to mention, Alaska? I looked it up. The wi-fi in the remote towns he builds in is terrible and unreliable, and that’s not conducive for my work. This is my home, and this is where I want to live. I don’t even know why I’m going to this Chicago interview.” I hang my head.
“What’s your heart telling you, Pearl? What do YOU want to do about this situation?”
“I want to be with Blake, but I’m also not willing to make the sacrifice and put my life on hold to be with him. I did that for too long with Trevor. I can’t keep selling myself short.”
“Well, I agree with you there, honey.” She gives me a thin-lipped smile.
“This is what’s going through my brain. I’m going to give Trevor a call and explain to him what’s been going on between us and see if he’s free to grab dinner when I’m in Chicago. He knows I have an interview and told me to hit him up when I arrived. Blake and I had a little fight and then he went on a fishing trip to God knows where. I don’t know when he’s getting back but maybe Trevor knows. I want to surprise Blake, apologize to him and end things on a friendly note, ya know? I do really care for him. I don’t want to lose him as a friend.”
“You mean you want to keep him around for a friends with benefits when he’s in town?” She laughs.
“Can’t hurt!” I laugh as we clink our beer glasses together.
Grand Lake Colorado Series: A Complete Small Town Contemporary Romance Collection Page 7
