Jade
I come back from the bathroom and stop dead in my tracks when I see Memphis sitting at our table. Anger bubbles in my stomach and climbs its way up my throat, burning like acid. How dare he show up here? After the way he left? Didn’t he get the picture earlier when I ran into him? I don’t want to talk to him, don’t want to see him. I thought that was clear. Why doesn’t he just go back to wherever in the hell he’s been hiding for the last ten years?
I take a deep calming breath and push myself forward. I have a seat and intend on ignoring him for the rest of the night. However, I didn’t realize how hard that would be. His presence isn’t something that can be ignored. His strong frame is covered in rippling muscles. His blonde hair and green eyes are striking against his tanned skin. I could get lost in those eyes. They’re the color of grass early in the morning, fresh with dew, sparking with the rising sun, and so bright, they capture everyone’s attention. But that smirk, that’s what gets me the most. It’s sexy and teasing at the same time. It’s inviting but exclusive, only meant for me. And while that thought makes excitement course through my body, it also makes me raise my guard up. I don’t want to get hurt by him again.
Blake leans over and whispers something in Pearl’s ear, and she smiles and nods before they stand and move to the dance floor, leaving us alone.
Memphis looks over at me, and I see something brewing behind those green eyes of his. He leans just a bit closer. “I’m sorry, Jade. I really am.”
I scoff. “Sorry for what? Are you sorry for taking my virginity even though you knew that you were going to up and leave? Are you sorry for leaving the way you did? Or are you sorry that you left me here, alone for almost ten years, while I tried to get over you?”
He clenches his jaw. “All of it.”
I shake my head. “What do you want, Memphis?” I pick up my beer and take a long drink from the bottle. “Why are you here? Why come back all these years later?”
“This is my home, Jade.”
I cross my arms over my chest and sit back in my chair.
“Look, all those years ago, I wanted what we had, but I was scared. I was scared that we’d just get sucked into the grind here. I thought that we’d end up like my parents. I’d run the garage and you’d take care of the kids, and that’s it. That would be our whole life. I wanted to see what else was out there. Can you really blame me for that?”
I sit back up and train my eyes on him. “Do you know what hurt me more than anything?”
He doesn’t answer, so I continue.
“It’s the fact that you didn’t tell me. Sure, you took my virginity, but I still would’ve given it to you just because I loved you. I could have accepted that you wanted to leave because I loved you enough to let you go and find yourself. But what I couldn’t accept was that you felt like I wouldn’t understand, that you needed to sneak off in the middle of the night just to escape me.”
His facial features soften. “That’s not why I did it, Jade.” He breathes out, his eyes falling closed. “I knew we both needed more. You deserve more than I can ever give you. I mean, you’re beautiful, and smart, and kind, and loyal. You deserve the world, not just this town. And I knew that if I came to you and told you that I was leaving, that you could easily talk me out of it, and I would’ve stayed because I love you. Don’t you see? I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough to stay, and I wasn’t strong enough to tell you that I was leaving. I did the only thing I knew how. I ran. I ran from you, from our love, from this idea of life that I knew were heading for. I wanted more for you, for us. And I knew the only way either of us would get that was if I left.” By the end of his speech, he’s breathless. We both take a few minutes to get our emotions under control.
“I know I did everything wrong, but is there any way that you think we can move past this?”
Pearl and Blake come back from dancing and take their seats. The conversation between Memphis and me fall away like it never even happened.
“So, Memphis, what have you been up to since you left?” Pearl asks, and it feels like she’s trying to smooth things over.
His eyes move from me to her. “Well, I joined the army and spent a few years doing that. When I got out, I traveled for a bit. I went to Florida, Hawaii, Alaska, New York, and California. I just wanted to see what was out there. But in the end, nothing looked as good as home. Nothing felt like home. So, here I am.” He holds his arms out at his sides and then lets them fall back into place.
Blake nods. “I traveled a lot for work, and let me tell you, there’s no place like home.”
“Where do you work?”
“I own and run a construction company. What about you? What are you planning on doing now that you’re back?”
“I’ve been helping my dad out at the garage. I plan on sticking around for a while and getting my old life back, including my girl,” he says, looking over at me. Pearl smiles wide as she squeezes Blake’s bicep.
“I have a boyfriend,” I blurt out, causing his smile to fade. “Yeah, me and Paul—we’ve been together for six months now.”
“Oh, please, Jade.” Pearl laughs out. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are glassy. It’s easy to see that she has a pretty good buzz going. She looks away from me and over to Memphis. “She doesn’t have a real boyfriend, Memphis. She has a guy that she’s been talking to on the internet. They’ve never met. Hell, who even knows if he is who he says he is.”
“Pearl!” I yell, feeling like someone just dumped a bucket of ice water over my head. “How could you say that? I thought we’d talked about this.” My mouth hangs open, and I can feel the sting of tears in my eyes, but I try holding them back. I don’t want Memphis to see me crying, not over something as stupid as this.
“Oh my God,” she says, realizing what she’s done. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…I wasn’t thinking…I’ve been drinking, and it just came out.”
I shake my head and push my chair back, standing and leaving them and the bar behind me. When I hit the parking lot, the tears I’ve been trying to hold off overfill my eyes and roll down my cheeks.
“This is so stupid, Jade,” I whisper to myself as I lean against the side of my Jeep. “You know she’s right. Even if Paul is real, he isn’t real to me. We’ve never met. We’ve never touched or kissed.” I wipe the tears from my eyes and straighten when I hear the crunch of gravel. I look up in time to see Memphis coming to a stop before me.
“Please, just don’t,” I breathe out, shaking my head, no longer having the energy to fight him off.
“Just listen,” he starts. “I know things between us are fucked up, to say the least. I treated you badly, and I completely understand you wanting to avoid me for the rest of your life. But this town is small, too small to avoid anyone. I’m sorry for what I did. I really, truly am, Jade. I hate myself every day for it. I’m not asking for you to forgive me or take me back. But I do ask that when we see one another, you don’t feel the need to run and hide. I want us to be able to smile and wave, maybe even talk, then go our separate ways.”
I look up at him from beneath my lashes. “So, you want to be friends?”
He nods. “I want to be friends. Life’s too short to have an enemy, especially in this town.”
I nod, not sure how I feel about that. “I’ll think about it.”
Without another word, he turns and walks away, leaving me alone and staring after him.
When I get home, I let Noodle outside and pour myself a glass of wine. I take it back to the living room with me, where I sit on the couch and open my laptop to see if Paul happens to be on. There’s already a message waiting for me.
Paul: Sorry about the last week. We’ve had a lot of storms, and the internet connection has been horrible. Forgive me?
I smile.
Jade: There’s nothing to forgive.
A few minutes later, he replies.
Paul: How have things been?
Jade: Not great. My ex-boyfriend came back
to town. I’ve been trying to avoid him like the plague, but he seems to go out of his way to find me.
Paul: I’m sure he’s just realizing his mistake of letting you go. Losing someone like you has some lasting effects.
Jade: You’re sweet, Paul. I wish you were here with me. Maybe you could be my arm candy for a moment.
Paul: Oh, we could make him jealous for sure, babe. I’d love to be on your arm right now.
Jade: I’d love it too.
Paul: So, how do you feel about this guy? Should I be worried?
I bite my bottom lip as I think about his question.
Jade: To be honest, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to convince myself that I hated him. But now that he’s back and I’ve seen him, it’s hard to make myself believe it. But I know one thing. I won’t ever let myself be with him again. I can’t trust him. He broke my heart once. That’s all you get with me. So, no, you shouldn’t be worried.
Paul: Good. I know we haven’t met yet, but I look forward to these talks every day. When we finally do meet, it’s not going to be like meeting a stranger. It’ll be like running into an old friend.
Jade: I hope you’re right. Have you figured out your schedule yet? I can’t wait to come visit you.
I wait, staring at the screen. It says, Message read, but then, Connection lost pops up under it. I slam the computer shut and push it onto the couch, annoyed. I wonder if he does this to me on purpose. Is he lying about who he says he is? Is he just putting off the inevitable?
Noodle senses my anger, and he comes to sit in my lap. I run my hand through his thick, black and white fur and feel myself begin to calm down. I don’t know how I’m supposed to ignore him, or, I guess, be friends with him now. Doesn’t he see how hard that’s going to be? Maybe he’s not still in love with me. That would make being friends much easier. Deep down, I know I still love Memphis, but I also know that we can’t go back. We can only push forward. I wouldn’t ever be able to trust him again. I’d always be on edge, waiting for the day he decides to pack up and leave again.
The beer and wine begin to take over, and I feel myself grow tired. I shut off the TV and head for bed, Noodle trotting along behind me.
Six
Memphis
It’s been a week since the night I met Jade at the bar. Since then, I’ve made sure to do all the runs to town to pick up parts and food for the garage. I’ve also gone back to The Place every night, hoping to see her again, but I haven’t seen her anywhere. It’s like she’s not only avoiding me now, she’s avoiding the whole town. I can’t stand it any longer. I have to see her. I have to talk to her. I don’t know how I managed to stay away from her as long as I did, but now that I know she’s close, the pull she has on me has only gotten stronger.
On my lunch break, I leave the shop and head into town. I know my mom said that she’s working at the local vet’s office. If that’s the only place I can see her, that’s where I’ll go. I swing by the bakery, Bean and Bun, and grab her favorite blueberry muffin and coffee before driving over to the vet’s office.
She’s behind the desk when I walk in. She looks up from her paperwork with a smile, but then she sees that it’s me, and her smile falls as her eyes squint in my direction.
I hold up the muffin and coffee. “I’m not here to fight. I even brought a peace offering,” I say, placing the coffee and muffin down on the counter in front of her.
She frowns but picks it up and takes a sip. “What’s up?”
“Have you had enough time to think over what we talked about?”
She nods and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know if I can do it, Memphis. I mean, I agree that this town is too small to ignore one another, but you broke my heart and stole my trust. I don’t see how I can get over that.”
I hang my head and look at her from beneath my lashes, sticking out my bottom lip in a pout. This always got her.
She lets out a giggle and shakes her head. “Don’t do that to me.”
“Come on, Jade. Remember all the good times we had? Remember how much fun we had, how much we laughed?”
She rolls her eyes. “Fine, whatever. We can be friends. Happy now?”
My smile breaks free. “Yes, I am. Friends get drinks. Tonight? The Place?” I point at her as I’m backing toward the door.
“No, no drinks,” she argues.
“Six o’clock work for you?”
“What? No!”
“Alright, see ya there. Don’t stand me up. You know how I hate that.” I walk out the door. She doesn’t come chasing me out, so I take that as a good sign as I climb behind the wheel and drive away as quickly as possible.
Six o’clock rolls around, and I’m sitting at a pub table all alone with my bottle of beer. I look at my watch and see that it’s already going on six-thirty. She isn’t going to show. I wave down the waitress and order a double Jack on the rocks, and she walks away to get it. I lean back in my chair, annoyed that my stupid little plan to get Jade back isn’t working. Of course it isn’t working. She’s too smart to fall for all my old tricks a second time. I was lucky that I got her once. Twice, that’s just unheard of.
“Well, you got me here,” she says, sitting across from me and making me jump.
Surprise takes over my expression, and my mouth drops open. “I…I can’t believe that you showed up,” I say, shaking my head.
“Me neither. This better be worth it.”
The waitress comes and sets my glass down, and Jade reaches out and takes it.
“Aw, you even ordered me a drink? Thanks, friend.”
I don’t miss the sarcasm, but I don’t ask about it either. I nod. “No problem.” I sit up straight and take a swig of beer. “So, tell me about this boyfriend of yours.”
She cocks her head to the side and scoffs. “So, you’re going to make fun of me for it too?”
I show her my palms. “I swear, I’m not. I was just asking. How’d you meet? Where’s he from?”
She takes a sip of her whiskey and lets out a long breath. “His name is Paul. We met on a dating website but ended up taking things off the app and to messenger. He’s really nice and sweet. Since we’ve been talking, I haven’t felt so alone, and I’ve felt alone since…” she looks up at me, and it’s like she suddenly remembers who she’s talking to, “well, since you.” She motions toward me.
I hang my head as shame pumps through me. “I really am sorry, Jade. I just—”
“There’s no excusing what you did, Memphis. I didn’t come here for another apology. Let’s just drop it, okay?”
“Why did you come here?” I ask, feeling myself being pulled closer to her.
“I don’t know. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing here. I wasn’t going to come. But the next thing I knew, I was changing out of my work clothes and putting on makeup. Then I was driving and before I could stop myself, I was here.”
There’s a long silence between us. “You remember that time that you failed your final exam in Mr. Wilmer’s class?”
She laughs and nods. “I thought my mom was going to kill me.”
“Remember what I said?”
She pulls her eyes from mine. “You said not to waste time worrying about the future when you could be using this time to be here with me.”
I nod. “The same thing works for the past. Don’t waste time thinking about it when you could be using this time to be here with me.” I shoot her a smile, and like that, her resolve falls away.
We sit and sip our drinks while talking and chatting about old times. It’s like no time has passed. Right now, we’re both just a couple of teenagers, picking up where we left off. I tell her about my time in the army, and she tells me about sticking around here to help her mom, who has had bad luck in the health department. She tells me about skipping out on college and getting a job at the vet’s office, but how lately, she’s been wanting more and is about to start some online classes, hoping to do more than just book appointments and file papers at the office. She wants hands
-on experience working with the animals.
The longer we sit and talk, the more drunk we get, and the funnier everything seems to be. I’m not exactly sure what I said to get her on the dance floor, but that’s exactly where we end up, in one another’s arms.
Her breath is blowing lightly against my neck, and I can feel her racing heart as it beats against my chest. Her heat sinks into me, warming every part that I thought had frozen over long ago. I breathe her in deep, and that familiar scent of lavender and honeysuckle fills my nose. Breathing her in is like walking through a field of wildflowers, with the warm sun shining down on you. She’s warm, inviting, and welcoming. God, how did I ever manage to walk away from her?
She pulls back slightly and looks into my eyes.
“What is it?” I ask quietly, just loud enough that she’ll hear me over the music.
She shakes her head and closes her eyes like she’s trying to fight against herself. “I thought that after all this time, touching you and being with you would feel different, like you were just a stranger. But that’s not how this feels.”
“How’s it feel?”
“It feels like no time has passed,” she replies just as I move in, pressing my mouth to hers.
The second our lips meet, it feels like I’ve been zapped by electricity. There’s a tingle, a burn, something egging me to keep going, to keep pushing.
I expect her to pull away, but she doesn’t. Instead, her hot tongue comes out and demands entrance. I give her exactly what she wants, and she melts against my chest. My hands move up to her face, cupping her cheeks as I beg to take the kiss further. I realize that neither one of us are dancing now. We’re too lost in one another to do anything but feel, remember, love.
“Jade,” I whisper against her lips as I rest my forehead against hers. Her eyes are closed, and I see her take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, Memphis. I can’t do this. Not again,” she says, pushing away from me and running from the bar, leaving me alone on the dance floor.
Grand Lake Colorado Series: A Complete Small Town Contemporary Romance Collection Page 12
