Damn Red. This is all her fault. Get to know the guy. Become his friend. If I weren’t trying to be his friend, this never would have happened. I’d still be sitting alone and dreaming of this crush I have on him, but eventually, it would fade away. Now that he’s kissed me, I don’t see it fading away any time soon.
When I get home, I grab my phone and call Red.
“Hey, sweet cheeks,” she answers.
“This is all your fault, you know?”
She giggles. “No idea what you’re talking about. Care to fill me in?”
“He kissed me! He really, really, really kissed me, Red.”
“Who? The sheriff?”
“Yes, keep up!”
“Okay, I’m sorry. So the sheriff kissed you? I don’t see how that’s a bad thing. You said he was sexy.”
I flop down onto my couch. “He is sexy.”
“Then, was he a bad kisser?”
“He’s a freaking amazing kisser, Red.”
“What’s. The. Problem. Then?” she nearly yells.
“He’s my boss! I work with him. I can’t be kissing my boss! Before, it was just a little crush. I could ignore it and wait for it to fade away. But instead, I listened to you and tried to become his friend. Well, a lot of good it did me because he kissed me! And it was amazing, Red. His hands tangled in my hair, they roamed my body, and then he let out this growl as he picked me up against him and set me on the hood of my car. He stood between my legs and kissed the life out of me. It was easily the best kiss of my life. But it’s also bad because he’s my boss!”
“Okay, calm down. Just breathe.”
And I do.
“We talked about this, remember? He’s not always going to be your boss. Right now, just consider this as laying the groundwork. You’re friends now, so you know you’ll get along. You’ve kissed, and you found out you have amazing chemistry. So now, just hang back and wait. When you’re no longer working there, ask him out. Then you’ll be free to do as you please. Just be patient, Nina.”
I snort.
“I know patience isn’t your strong suit, but hang in there. Just think, if you can just be patient, you can have everything you’ve ever wanted.”
I sigh. I know she’s right, but damn it. I don’t want to wait. I’m pretty sure if he would’ve tried screwing me right there, I probably would have let him. It’s been years since I’ve had sex—well, since I moved to this town, and I’ve lived here for two years. It’s been way too long since I’ve been with any man, but he’s nothing like the men I’ve been with in the past.
I’ve always been the shy girl—the extroverted introvert, which meant the sexy guys didn’t want anything to do with me unless they needed tutoring. But Bryce? Hot damn, is he sexy! His tall body hovering over mine makes my knees shake. His muscles rippling has me ready to drop my panties and throw them at him. In my mind, I picture them landing on the top of his head.
I feel too amped up to go to sleep. I need answers. I mean, what was that kiss? Did he mean to kiss me like that, or had he just had a little too much to drink? Does he like me? Does he want to start something up? If he wants to, would I go through with it, even though I know it’s wrong? I need answers.
I stand up and grab my keys, heading straight for the car. I drive down the mountain just a bit until I find the place that’s been on the market for months. His truck is in the drive, so I know this must be it. I park the car, turn it off, and head for the front door.
I knock loudly on the wooden screen door, but nobody answers. Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. But I have to know. I have to tell him it was a mistake, that it was wrong. That we both need to forget what happened. We can blame it on the drinks. I mean, I was in no way close to being drunk, but I can pretend if I have to.
I’m just turning to leave when I hear the door open behind me. I spin around to find Bryce right in front of me. He’s only wearing a towel around his narrow, toned waist, and there is water beading up and rolling over his defined pecs and six-pack. I find his eyes first, but then I can’t stop myself from taking in the whole package.
My mouth is suddenly dry, and I lick my lips, really wishing I was licking the water rolling across his abs right now. I step toward him with my mouth open to tell him all the reasons why what we did was wrong, but that’s not what happens. I don’t know how I got from standing in front of him to being pressed against him with my mouth on his, but that’s where I find myself.
I’m not sure if I jumped into his arms, but I have a leg on either side of his hips, and his hands are cupping my ass as he tuns and carries me into his house. He sits down on the couch with me on top of him as both our mouths move at lightning speed. It would be so easy right now to pull his little towel away and find exactly what I’ve been searching for.
His hands massage my ass and make their way up my back. His hands tangle into my hair, pulling gently. He pulls until our lips break apart and my head tips back, exposing my throat to him. His lips move from my lips to my jaw, over to my ear, and down my neck, with his teeth lightly brushing against my skin. My entire body breaks out in goosebumps, and I find my hips rocking against him.
The moment his dick comes to life and pushes against me, his hands squeeze tighter, almost like he’s egging me on. A moan slips past my lips when I get just the right amount of pressure where I need it. While his hands move over my hips and up my sides to my breasts, his mouth moves lower down my chest to where the collar of my shirt cuts him off. His hands work the shirt up my stomach, pushing until he has it up above my breasts. His mouth moves back to my skin, kissing, licking, and nipping at the swell of my breasts. His hands kneed them, switching from a light caress to a firm squeeze. He lets out another growl that makes my stomach tighten, but then he sighs and pulls away, leaning his head back against the couch as his eyes find mine.
I’m nearly panting, my chest rising and falling as I look down at him.
“Nina,” he starts, and I know exactly what he’s going to say. He’s going to say the same thing I came here to tell him.
I let out a long breath and shake my head. “You don’t have to say it, Bryce. It’s the same thing I had on the tip of my tongue when you answered the door.” I push my shirt back down and try to get off his lap, but his hands tighten, stopping me.
I look at him once again, embarrassment washing over me. I was supposed to push him away, but I didn’t, and now he’s turning me down. I know it’s for all the right reasons, but it doesn’t stop the hurt that’s flooding my body.
“It’s not that I don’t want to, Nina. I’m very much attracted to you. I think you can obviously tell. But it’s wrong. We work together. It isn’t ethical. And I just moved here. I swore to myself that I’d do everything right this time.” He shakes his head. “But this isn’t right. You know that.”
I nod as I feel the threat of tears. “I know, and that’s exactly what I came here to say. I’m sorry this happened. It wasn’t intended.” I push myself off his lap and head toward the door. “I didn’t come here for this, you know,” I say, pausing with my hand on the latch of the screen door.
“I know.”
Without another word, I push through the door and jog to my car. I climb behind the wheel and peel out of his drive as fast as I can, needing to get away before the tears fall. I know we can’t act on our feelings, but it doesn’t stop the embarrassment of being rejected or make it go away. I know better. I should never have gone over there. I should have waited and talked to him about it at work. Then I would’ve been able to say what I needed to say without jumping on him the way I did. If I were in the office, I would’ve been able to control myself better.
I shouldn’t be blaming my lack of control on him, though. Sure, I had every intention of going there to tell him we can’t act on our feelings. But when I saw him nearly naked with water running over those hard muscles, I lost track of my thoughts. They all started blurring together, creating a tornado of yearning, need, passion, and
desperation, plus the added excitement of taking something forbidden.
I walk back into my house and go directly to the shower, needing to wash this night off of me. I can still feel his strong hands on my body. I can still taste the hint of bourbon on my lips from his kiss. And my knotted-up stomach is still just as tight as it was when he pulled away from me at the side of the road.
I know what I need to do to put him behind me. I need to distract myself. After I shower, I’ll go to my computer and work on the website for the youth center. I need to do something that will require some brainpower, something that keeps my hands busy while my thoughts are able to drift. That means work. And a lot of it.
Eight
Bryce
My thoughts are filled with visions of her. The way she felt when I lost control and kissed her for the first time, how warm she was against me, how sweet she tasted. I had to shower all that off of me. I wasn’t expecting her to come knocking on my door. With all of that rolling around inside of me, when she threw herself at me, I lost it. I thought, fuck it. I’m taking what I want, and I want her. There really was no way to push her back, not when I was already as lost as I was.
But as things went further, I couldn’t ignore the doubt building in my body. She’s young, too young for a man like me. I’ve been to places, seen things. I can’t forget my past, and I won’t bring someone else into it. She’s already discovered that I was at the same bombing which killed her parents. When she finds out I wasn’t there to help them, then what? Will she hate me? Will she blame me? Or will she tell me the same thing countless other people have said about the matter: you did what you could, you did your best.
The truth is, I remember her parents. Right before the bomb went off, I looked up from the floor after being shot, and I locked eyes with her dad. He wanted to rush across the room to help me, but he was torn between helping me and leaving his wife. As unconsciousness tugged at me, he finally pulled her along with him so he could try and protect her while helping me. I remember him putting his hands across the gunshot wound in my chest and applying pressure. The pain was enough to pull me from the darkness, so I opened my eyes and saw him hovering over me. I had so many questions. Why was he helping me? Why wasn’t he trying to find a way out of here? All hell had broken loose by this point. The doors weren’t being guarded like before. My mouth opened to ask, but it was like he sensed what I was going to say. He said, “Because this world needs you.”
Then, the bomb went off, and everything went black. I never knew what happened to the man who had helped me. I didn’t know if he and his wife made it out alive or if they perished in the bombing. It wasn’t until I was released from the hospital nearly a month later that I found out. I went to the station and did some digging, searching through names and then looking them up to put a face to the name. I finally found the man and discovered he and his wife both died when the bomb went off. It killed me to know that two people died in my place. I planned on going to his family and telling them that he died a hero, but when I looked into their relatives, I found only one family member. Her name was Katharina Camilla Waters. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to face her. She was so young and now all alone in the world, thanks to me.
I guess now I wish I would’ve kept up with her and her whereabouts. I ran from her in Denver, and she doesn’t even know it. I ran here. Whether it’s either a fucked up coincidence that she’s here, too, or some twist of fate, I don’t know.
When she was introduced to me as Nina Waters, I didn’t put two and two together, even though the last name gave me a ping of confusion. Once she told me about the bombing, I knew exactly who she was. I should’ve kept my distance then, but I’m a stupid man. I should’ve known you can’t run from things that haunt you. If you could, you wouldn’t need to run to begin with. Either way, I’m sure when she finds out I’m the reason she lost her parents, she’ll never want to look at me again anyway. Maybe I should just tell her and get it off my chest. That would keep her away for sure, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about us getting close again. But something in my chest won’t let me do it. I don’t want to bring all that up for her. Not here, her safe haven.
When I wake up in the morning, I feel like I haven’t slept at all. Probably because every time I shut my eyes, I was back there, in that bank in Denver. I push myself out of bed anyway and start toward the bathroom. I look myself over in the mirror to find bloodshot eyes staring back at me. There are dark circles under them, and they make me look twice as old as I am. What in the hell did Nina see in me anyway? I mean, look at me. I keep my hair short, so the gray fades in a little better, and I have wrinkles around the corners of my eyes and between my brows. I’m not the guy she needs in her life. She needs someone young who can keep up with her.
I splash some water on my face, brush my teeth, and pull on my uniform before taking off toward the station. At least today is Saturday. I don’t think Nina works on Saturdays, and I’m thankful I get a little peace today. I don’t have to look at her and know all the hurt I’ve caused her. I don’t have to worry about trying to avoid her. I can just go in and do my job, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Keep myself busy, so maybe I can tire myself out enough to sleep better tonight.
I stop and grab a coffee and a donut. I scarf the donut down before I park my truck and climb out, taking the coffee in with me. I walk in and stop in my tracks when I see Nina bent over another desk, working out a computer problem. But she isn’t dressed as she normally would be. She’s wearing a pair of tight, black yoga pants, tennis shoes, and a gray top that hangs low under her arms, showing off her black sports bra. Her blonde hair is pulled up high, showing me the slender neck of hers that my lips were just against last night.
My body wants to carry me over to her, pull her against me, and kiss her like she’s never been kissed before, right here in front of everyone, but I hold back and force myself to walk into my office instead.
Two weeks have passed, and I haven’t talked to Nina once. I’ve seen her around work, but she turns and walks in the other direction every time. She hasn’t come to our Friday night playtime at The Place either. I take everyone for drinks, and I bring in coffee, donuts, and other baked goods, but nothing lures her out of the dark hole she keeps herself locked in. It’s about time for the city council meeting, and I’m not sure if she still wants me to speak on behalf of the police station.
I try to work up the courage to ask her while we’re at work, but she ends up taking off early before I have the chance. The meeting is Tuesday night. There are only a few days left, and I need to know so I can prepare a speech. When I leave the station, I drive straight past my house and head to hers. I raise my hand and knock on the door. She answers it, wearing a tiny pair of Nike shorts and a Nike sports bra. Her skin is covered in beads of sweat rolling down her neck and between her breasts. I look her over and lick my lips.
Her eyes are wide. “Can I help you?” she asks, annoyance leaking through her voice.
“Uhhhh, yeah.” I shake my head, hoping to clear it of all thoughts. “I was just wondering if you still wanted me to speak at the meeting on Tuesday night. After what happened between us, I thought you might not want me there.”
She lets out a nervous laugh. “Nothing happened between us, Bryce. We’re still just as close as we ever were. And about the meeting,” She holds up her hand and lets it fall. “Use your judgment. If you want to come, then come. And if you don’t, just blow it off. But it would mean a lot to me if you helped me see this thing through. This isn’t about me; this is about the town and helping the kids get what they need.”
I nod. “Okay, I’ll be there.”
This time, she gives me a genuine smile. “Okay, thank you.”
I nod and turn to leave, but at the last second, I spin back around. I look down at her while she looks up at me. Her chest starts rising and falling quicker, like having me this close is making it hard to breathe. “Nina,” I start.
“Br
yce.”
I wet my lips. “You and me, that night, it was amazing,” I breathe out.
“It was,” she agrees.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. And well, I’ve been trying to talk myself out of wanting you.”
“How’s that going for you?” She leans against the doorframe and crosses her arms, making her breasts press together.
“Not good,” I admit. “Every time I see you, I just want to pull you against me and kiss you senseless. I want to push up those little skirts you’ve been wearing and slide into you, not pulling out until you beg me to.”
Something is charging between us. It’s drawing us closer together. I’m just as breathless as she is as I imagine my words being acted out.
“Then do it,” she whispers, and it’s all the permission I need.
I reach out, grab her by the hips, and pull her against me until my mouth is firmly pressed against hers. Her tongue glides alongside mine, only pulling me deeper into the ocean that is her. I wrap my left arm around her and use my right arm to pick her up against me. She wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my hips as I walk her deeper into the house. I kick the door closed behind me and peek my eyes open just enough to see the hallway in front of me. I follow it, figuring it has to lead to a bedroom.
The bedroom door is already open with the bedside lamp brightening up the room. I walk us into her bedroom and lower her down onto the bed, settling between her parted knees. Already, I’m rock hard and ready to go, and I push myself against her core with our clothes between us. But the moment she feels me ready for her, she lets out a breathy moan that only makes me want to work faster before she can change her mind—before I can change my mind.
Her hands are already between us, unbuttoning my shirt. She starts at the bottom and works her way to the top, finally pushing it over my shoulders. I pull away from her long enough to slide my arms out and toss it onto the floor. With my shirt gone, she pulls my undershirt up and over my head. Our lips find one another again, and I unfasten my utility belt from work and drop it onto the floor. It falls with a loud thunk. Her hands start to unbutton my pants, but I push them away, wanting to get her out of her workout clothes.
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