* * *
Indeed Dominic was. Now.
He wanted to be very sure that Rachel Walker didn’t think that the fact she’d once been Rachel Hadley gave her any say in how he lived his life.
‘Right,’ he said, and stood. ‘I’m headed up to Maternity before they page me again.’
I’ve got this, Dominic decided as he made his way.
He and Rachel were all caught up. There was nothing left to say.
There was no way he was going to change his life, or tiptoe around Rachel. They’d spoken, she’d said she was fine with them working in the same building, and she was engaged to someone else. They had both moved on.
But he couldn’t deny he was keen to see this Gordon chap for himself.
The man who made Rachel happy.
His skin crawled at the very thought of it, and his jaw was clamped even as he entered the ward.
‘Dominic!’ Freya, the midwife who was Richard’s wife, greeted him warmly as he stepped into the delivery suite. ‘We’ve been waiting for you.’
‘I’m sorry it took me so long.’ He introduced himself, and apologised to both the patient and her partner for the delay.
‘Just don’t run off.’ The patient, Sonia, gave a weak smile that soon changed into a grimace of agony.
‘The last anaesthetist got paged to go to Theatre just as Freya was getting things ready,’ explained Josh, Sonia’s partner.
‘Well, I can vouch for Dominic,’ Freya said. ‘He gave me my epidural and I’ve been crazy about him ever since.’
It was one of Freya’s funny little stories to relax women in labour.
As Dominic set up, he looked over at Josh, who was comforting Sonia and telling her how great she was doing. They were both so young.
Dominic gave a lot of epidurals, and usually he could just shut his mind down on the past and get on with the job. But there were days—and this was one of them—when it was impossible to keep the memories away.
‘We’ll have you feeling a lot more comfortable very soon,’ he said as he washed his hands and then put on surgical gloves.
Sonia was amazing. Her partner held her hand and shared a worried glance with Sonia’s mother, who was stroking back her hair from her sweaty face. There was just so much love and support in the room.
There was no real comparison to when he and Rachel had gone through this, Dominic told himself. This baby, soon to be born, was healthy and full-term, yet for some reason it was just getting to him, when usually Dominic refused to allow it to do so.
With the epidural secured, he stepped back, and Josh, along with Freya, helped Sonia lie back on the delivery bed.
‘You’ll be feeling much better soon,’ Dominic said.
‘I think I’m already starting to.’
‘Told you he was good!’ Freya said.
Dominic ran through his instructions again, and Freya thanked him as he left, but as he stepped out of the delivery suite, it felt as if the sound of all the babies crying in the unit was playing in stereo in his head.
Wah, wah, wah.
He sat there, trying to write up his notes, as the tiny babies cried and wailed. And all he could think was that he couldn’t recall the features of his son with the precision he required.
Dominic didn’t have so much as a photo of him.
Rachel had them all.
But it wasn’t just her reappearance in his life that had him wanting a photo. He’d tried to get one a few years ago, but the hospital where his son had been born had long since closed down.
Wah, wah, wah.
For Dominic, the worst part was that, despite having been told he had died, despite having seen his still, silent heart on the ultrasound while he was still in Rachel’s womb—despite all that—when he’d been born, when Dominic had seen his son for the first time he had still expected him to cry.
Dominic put down his pen and buried his face in his hands, not even noticing that Freya had come to the desk.
‘You okay, Dominic?’ she checked.
Normally he’d make a joke—especially to a colleague—and laugh it off. But right now he could not make a joke and he could not laugh it off. He was at work on a ward, updating his charts, and about to break down. That would never do.
‘Dominic?’ Freya checked again.
‘I’ve got a thumping headache.’
He didn’t, but for appearances’ sake Dominic accepted a glass of water and took a couple of headache pills.
No, he and Rachel were not all caught up. They had some unfinished business after all.
He wanted those photos and he was going to ask her for them.
Having made the decision, he headed back down to Emergency. There he found Rachel, restocking the drawers in the Resus nurses’ station, and as he tried to decide how best to broach the subject, she shot him a look.
‘What?’ Dominic said, surprised at the venom in her look when she was normally so inscrutable.
‘You know very well what.’
‘I don’t.’
‘You. Earlier,’ she said. ‘Answering for me.’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘Telling May Gordon’s name.’
‘So? May forgets names all the time. It was just a little sarcasm aimed at her,’ Dominic lied smoothly. ‘I was pointing out that even I know your fiancé’s name.’
He knew that not for a second did she believe him.
‘Don’t do it again,’ Rachel warned. ‘I’m doing my level best to stop this from getting out.’
‘Guess what, Rachel?’ Dominic answered. ‘You don’t get to tell me what to do. Don’t you remember that conversation we had in the canteen?’
He took a seat and tried to focus on what he’d come here to ask, but Rachel incensed him out of all reasonable proportion with all her no-go zones. Even the scent of her hair as she filled the drawers incensed him—because even all these years on beneath it was the scent of her. And it made him speak without thinking.
‘I don’t see why it has to be such a secret.’
‘Don’t you?’ she checked.
‘No. I honestly don’t.’
‘Perhaps I don’t want it to get out that I was married to The Primary Hospital’s own resident alley cat.’
‘Ha-ha.’ He said it sarcastically.
‘You’ve changed,’ she accused.
* * *
And it wasn’t just because he’d become something of a womaniser, thought Rachel. The Dominic she had known had been loyal and faithful. Something twisted inside her as she recalled the slightly shy, somewhat awkward boy she had once known.
But Dominic wasn’t apologising for anything these days.
‘Of course I’ve changed,’ he retorted. ‘From what I recall, the old me wasn’t getting very far.’ And then he warned her with a pointing of his finger. ‘Don’t try and police me, Rachel.’
So much for professional and polite!
‘I’m just trying to keep the past where it belongs. I’ve barely been here a week and I do not want to be the topic of gossip.’
She had filled every drawer bar one, and to show him he didn’t affect her in the least, she asked him to move—just as she would if it were anyone else—so she could get the last one done.
‘Excuse me,’ she said.
He shifted his knees to the left without a word, and as her arm brushed his, Rachel wondered if the fire alarms were about to go off, because his very touch scorched.
‘Thanks.’
To her displeasure, she knew they were both turned on and trying very hard not to be.
‘We clearly need to talk,’ Dominic said. ‘But away from here.’
‘I don’t think we do. We’ve already talked, in the canteen, and said all that needs to be said.’
‘Ther
e’s something I need to ask you and I’m not comfortable doing it at work. Look, I don’t want to make any trouble between you and your fiancé...’
She opened her mouth to tell him that she and Gordon had split up, but closed it as he continued.
‘There’s that pub I told you about, just across the road from the main entrance,’ Dominic said. ‘I’m on until six...’
Rachel shook her head. ‘I finish at four.’
‘Then I’ll speak to Richard and see if I can get away early. I’ll be there around five and I’d really appreciate it if you would join me.’
And she had to concede, while she did not want to go, that if their paths were going to cross at work, it was going to take more than a ten-minute catch-up in the hospital canteen to work out if it was doable.
Perhaps he’d already decided that it wasn’t and he was going to ask her to consider leaving.
And if he did say that they couldn’t work together and asked her to go, Rachel pondered as she worked her way through the afternoon, what would her response be?
Righteous indignation and How dare you try and dictate my life thirteen years on? Or would she fold over in sweet relief and say Yes, of course I’ll leave, because I’m finding this impossible too?
But of course she wouldn’t say any of that. Far more likely she would fall back on her usual tactic of not giving him the slightest sign that he was getting to her.
Except he was.
There was a very good reason she didn’t want their past getting out. She did not want his name attached to hers. She did not want the inevitable questions and she did not want to have to relive or explain her past when she was struggling to picture a future.
Here.
Working alongside him.
When her shift ended she made her way to the changing rooms, but she still didn’t know if she was going to meet Dominic or slink off home. From her locker, Rachel pulled out the jeans, jumper and boots she had worn to work that morning, topped them off with a trench coat, and decided she wouldn’t bother with make-up—though usually she’d have put on at least a dash of lipstick if she were catching up with a friend.
Dominic wasn’t a friend, though.
May came into the changing room as Rachel was running a brush through her hair before pulling on a woolly hat.
‘Any plans for tonight?’ May asked.
‘Not really,’ Rachel said.
She was surprised by how much she wanted to confide in May, to tell her she was thinking of going for a drink with her ex-husband, Dominic, and how conflicted and confused she was feeling about it all. But of course she didn’t. The habit was too ingrained. Rachel had long learnt to keep her thoughts to herself.
‘Just a quiet one,’ she added as she wound a scarf around her neck.
‘Well, enjoy.’ May smiled and took up her bag and headed out.
Rachel doubted she’d be enjoying herself, but decided that she had to be brave. She would meet with Dominic—just to hear what it was he wanted to ask—and then she’d go home.
He might not have been able to get away early, Rachel consoled herself as she stepped into the pub.
Except, despite the pub being busy, she saw Dominic straight away.
Gosh, he looked completely amazing as he sat there sulking in a beautiful grey suit. He was drumming his fingers on the table, but when she walked in he looked up immediately and raised his hand in greeting.
Rachel gave him a wave to say that she’d seen him, and then went to the bar to get a drink.
* * *
He’d been waiting for fifteen minutes. Richard had agreed that he could leave early to meet Rachel, and had also enquired after his headache. Clearly Dominic was a hot topic of conversation between his boss and his wife. Still, as much as that irked, right now the person who really irked him was Rachel.
He was actually surprised to see her, as he had braced himself for the fact she might not come. Yet here she was, looking utterly gorgeous and quietly, despite his reluctance, turning him on.
She took off her scarf and then her hat, in a ritual he knew all too well, then shook out her hair—which was lighter than it had been when they were together, and which she wore straight now.
Rachel carried over what he suspected would be grapefruit juice, and placed it on the table before removing her coat.
Dominic had to force himself to remove his gaze, because he did not want to notice her bust in the tight jumper she wore, nor picture the slim pale legs beneath her jeans, or the blaze of gold that lay between them.
* * *
‘I didn’t know if you wanted to eat?’ Dominic said. ‘I can ask for the menu if you’d like?’
‘No, thanks,’ Rachel said, and watched as he topped up his sparkling water.
He’d never drunk alcohol—well, only very occasionally—as he always liked to be sharp and had long ago told her he couldn’t see the point.
‘Was it a problem?’ Dominic asked. ‘Meeting me tonight?’
She knew he was asking if Gordon knew she was meeting him, and she didn’t know quite what to say, but again she chose not to tell him about the break-up.
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s no problem. So, what is it that you want to ask me?’
‘I’ll get to that. How are you finding working at The Primary?’
He was questioning her as if he were conducting an interview.
‘I like it.’ Rachel’s response was equally wooden, but then she relaxed and gave him an eye-roll. ‘Well, apart from the fact I’ve just found out that my ex-husband works there.’
‘How inconvenient,’ Dominic retorted, and they finally shared a smile.
‘Very,’ she agreed, and then asked, ‘How long have you been there?’
‘For ever,’ Dominic said. ‘I did my clinical training there and never left.’
‘So when did you decide to become a doctor?’ she asked, with what she told herself was curiosity but what she feared was a desperation to know more.
‘After you and I broke up I took stock, I guess, and I had the grades... To tell the truth, I had thought of medicine before, but wasn’t sure I’d be any good.’
‘But you’re the cleverest person I know.’
‘I meant socially,’ Dominic said. ‘But all that time working with your dad taught me a lot.’
‘How?’
He shrugged. Clearly he wasn’t prepared to open up entirely. ‘So, you say he’s seeing someone?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’ Rachel nodded.
* * *
Dominic was genuinely curious about his former father-in-law.
They hadn’t kept in touch, as such. There had been a couple of phone calls that he didn’t want to think about, and it had also taken Dominic two years to pay him back for the funeral.
Every month he’d sent half his wages—more if he could afford it.
And every month he’d got a brief note thanking him for the payment.
Until the final one.
Well done, lad.
We’re all square now and I wish you nothing but the best.
Dave
The note had meant a lot and he’d kept it.
‘What’s she like?’ he asked now.
‘Talkative,’ Rachel said.
‘Really?’
‘Opinionated,’ she elaborated. ‘She’s taking Dad shopping next week. Says she’s sick of his old jumpers.’
‘And he’s agreed to go?’
‘He’s smitten.’ Rachel rolled her eyes heavenwards. ‘Smitten! I caught them kissing in the kitchen.’
Now, that he couldn’t imagine, and Dominic felt his mouth gaped for a moment. ‘And how do you feel about it?’
* * *
Rachel tightened her hand on her glass. Dominic had always made her examine things. He’d always asked how she
felt. And now, just like thirteen years ago, she didn’t know how to share how she felt, so she settled for the classic response.
‘Fine.’ Rachel shrugged. ‘As long as he’s happy.’
Only that wasn’t quite true, and she could not entirely escape Dominic’s piercing eyes. She could almost feel her superpower fading against the scrutiny of his gaze. It dawned on her that apart from her brothers, who didn’t discuss such things, Dominic was the only person she knew who might understand the magnitude of her dad dating again.
‘It’s going to take a bit of getting used to,’ she admitted.
‘Has there been anyone else since your mum?’
Rachel found she was holding her breath, because in the past he had always been trying to get her to open up about her mum. He’d always slip her into conversation, when in the Walker household the subject of her mum had been strictly forbidden.
‘No.’ She gave a small shake of her head.
‘So she’s the first woman he’s dated in twenty-six years?’ Dominic said. ‘Wow.’
Yes, wow, indeed...
It touched her that without asking he could do the maths, that he still knew the dates and anniversaries that mattered so much to her.
‘I think it’s been going on for a while,’ Rachel admitted.
‘What makes you think that?’
‘Just a couple of things that were said. I actually think she’s angling to move in.’
‘Good luck to her, then. I remember trying to stack that dishwasher...’
‘Oh, it wasn’t just you he had a go at about it,’ Rachel assured him. ‘I don’t go near it. He’s so set in his ways I just can’t believe he’s started dating.’
‘She must be pretty special,’ Dominic commented, ‘to have got under that rhino hide of his.’
‘Maybe...’ she conceded.
He was making her laugh.
He was making her think.
But then, Dominic had always done that to her.
‘Give her a chance, Rachel.’
The Nurse's Reunion Wish (HQR Medical Romancel) Page 7
