by Jewel, Bella
How did she not know she grabbed my hand? I lifted my hand and placed it on her thigh, and her eyes flew briefly to me. The second I felt her fingers brush against mine, I took the silent invitation to entwine my fingers with hers and join our hands as one. There would be no standard hand holding; I was going to smother hers with mine, and wait until she was the one to break. She needed this, she just didn’t realize it. I couldn’t ignore that her eyes held everything she wanted to hide. Ashlyn was the type of girl who dreamt of a happily ever after, and the tears that swam in her eyes weren’t completely filled with joy and excitement for her best friends. There was the briefest sign of heartache that flashed before me, not because it was Ky getting married, but because she had resigned herself to a life of never getting this.
“Congratulations, big brother. I couldn’t be happier for you.” I held my free hand out and shook Ky’s in cheers.
“Now you two are coming ring shopping with me,” Ky declared. Then he pulled two twenties from his wallet and put them on the table.
He could not be serious.
“Don’t look so shocked, Josh. You’re coming with me. I need both of your opinions. Let’s call it a bonding session.” He looked at me expectantly.
“You’re kidding, aren’t you?”
“Would you joke about buying your girlfriend an engagement ring?” he asked.
“Well, I have no immediate plans on proposing to anyone, so I can’t really answer that.”
“There will come a time, little brother, and fuck me if I can’t wait for it, just so I can remind you of this exact moment.”
“Josh, get your head out of your ass. We have rings to look at, rings to try on, and a ring to buy,” Ashlyn demanded in pure sass.
Shit, her voice was getting high pitched again as her excitement levels rose. She untangled her hand from mine, pushed back on the chair, and joined Ky. Then they both looked at me eagerly. I was being ambushed, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. Usually in these situations, I’d at least have Eden with me, and we would mount a solid defense.
“Fine,” I pushed back on my seat and scoffed, as Ashlyn started bombarding Ky with questions about different cuts of rings and diamonds, and how he was planning on asking her.
Ky shot me a pleading look over his shoulder as the three of us walked out of the diner. So now he wanted my help? No way big brother.
A smirk was all he got.
6
Ashlyn
I was dropping bombshells like strippers were dropping panties. What’s that saying? Grab life by the horns, balls, or whatever. Well, that was exactly what I chose to do.
Three days ago, Ky dropped his own bombshell about his plans to propose to Eden. Do you know how hard it was to talk with her and not scream “he is going to propose?” It was like giving me chocolate and telling me to just look at it.
Now I had my own bombshell to drop on my friends. I was nervous, but the excitement of the unexpected was something I couldn’t resist. I was sick of fighting something that would be so good for me. It was time to start the final chapter in the reinvention of Ashlyn Hart, and it would be the biggest chapter to date.
My nerves ran rampant as I entered the restaurant, but I still had a spring in my step and a smile on my face. Earlier in the day, I sent Josh, Ky, and Eden a text and asked them to meet me at Joe’s Place, the italian restaurant at the bottom of my apartment building, for dinner.
When I came into view, their eyes followed me as I crossed the busy restaurant. Josh gave me the once over, and shot me a questioning look. Considering he was the only one to know of the fuck up known as Lachlan Johnson, I knew my sudden change in attitude made him suspicious, so I offered him my first smile of the group.
"You look mighty pleased with yourself," Eden stated with a hearty laugh.
My eyes instinctively dropped to her left hand, only to find it ringless. Damn it.
Josh pulled out the empty seat beside him, and I slipped in. Placing my clutch on the table, I sent a smile around the table and couldn’t hold in my excitement any longer. "So, I have news, and I wanted to share it with all of you first. Then hopefully I’ll celebrate with you." I took a deep breath. "I've quit my job."
A collective gasp resonated around the table. It wasn’t a secret what my job meant to me, and each of them knew the hours and dedication I put into it, so hearing that I was turning my back on it was shocking. My dream was to always work in fashion. I worked my ass off in high school for a scholarship to the best college in the United States to offer a course that would allow me to live my dream. It led me to New York, and had allowed me to engulf myself in the industry. Three sets of shocked eyes stared back at me, but there was one hint of a smile encouraging me and pushing me forward, and that was from Josh.
I focused on that as I began to explain. "You all know fashion is my life, but sometimes you just have to do what’s best for you. I’ve made some incredible connections in this industry, and I'll be using them for my next venture. I'm starting my own fashion blog, and going out on my own. I already have some interested parties to work with me on a couple of things, which will cover startup costs. And word has gotten out, so I've been fielding emails all day regarding opportunities."
Saying it out loud made it seem concrete. There was no turning back now. I waited with baited breath for their reactions. What they thought meant the world to me, and I fed on their support in so many aspects of my life.
"Wow, Ash! That is huge," Ky replied, stating the obvious. “Really fucking huge. How did Alessandra take it?”
Alessandra De Solly was the high-profile, world-renowned fashion photographer that had hired me as her Head Stylist. It was a dream job. It saw me travelling the world, having a wardrobe that many people were envious of, and being able to wake every day to do something that I loved. My reputation and work ethic had enabled me to develop a great network in a highly-competitive industry, and it showed I was damn good at my job.
“She is super happy for me, and has asked that I do some commission work with her on the bigger shoots.”
"Have you got a name for your blog yet?" Eden asked, joining the conversation.
I turned my focus to her and smiled. "Not yet. I’m still waiting for the perfect name to hit me."
"Stoked for you, Ashy," Josh said softly, his eyes still firmly locked on mine.
“Thanks, Joshy. I’m feeling good.” I knew there was double meaning to my words, and I felt something flush through me knowing that only he and I understood it. “I have some other news, too.”
I lifted the glass of wine that Ky had placed in front of me and took a long sip. The blog news was nothing compared to what I was about to drop. I took a deep breath and allowed my eyes to glance over each of them, wanting to memorize them in a calm and accepting state.
"I’m also thinking of moving to London after the summer."
There, I said it. It was now out in the universe, and suddenly it felt real.
You could have heard a pin drop. I sucked in a desperate breath, as I felt the air around me was being sucked out. Eden’s eyes shot wide, Ky’s jaw ticked, and Josh’s hands clutched onto his glass so tightly that I was waiting for it to shatter and send shards flying across the table.
"What the fuck?" Ky piped up, and it shouldn't have surprised me that he'd be the first to comment. "Would you care to explain why you feel the urge to move across the fucking ocean to another fucking country?"
One thing about the Crawfords was they certainly didn’t mind using obscenities to get their point across.
"London has a huge fashion market," I stated matter-of-factly. I matched his glare as my defenses shot up and my need to protect myself kicked in.
Ky leaned over the table toward me and lowered his voice. "So does New York, Ashlyn."
I shook my head slightly. "There's nothing holding me here, Ky."
"That's bullshit," Josh scoffed, shocking everyone with his loud outburst. My head swung around to him and he sco
wled at me in frustration. “Bull-fucking-shit, Ashlyn.”
“You have no say in this, Joshua Crawford.”
“So now she uses my full fucking name,” he mumbled under his breath and tore his glare away from me in complete dismissal.
“What does Lachlan think of this? London is further from Australia than the states?” Ky asked with a lingering annoyance.
“Can you just support me on this? Is it really too much to ask for my best friends’ support? Yes it’s a big decision, but it’s my decision. I’m still here for another couple of months, can we just focus on that?”
I could feel Josh’s eyes burning into me at the mere mention of Lachlan. I lifted my glass to my lip and finished my wine as an uncomfortable silence fell between the four of us. After the waiter came to the table and took our orders, Ky and Josh spoke quietly about work while I fumbled with the napkin.
"I love the idea of your blog, babe." Eden’s voice was sweet, and I looked at her and smiled. "Though I’m not excited about you leaving, I've always wanted to go visit London, and now I’ll have a reason."
I decided to ignore the two men who were brooding over my decision, and concentrate on the one person who seemed to be supportive. "I was actually hoping to set up a meeting with you to discuss a few things for the blog."
Her smile went wide. "Sure. I've got a shoot tomorrow, so I’ll pop over afterward."
Once our meals arrived, I fell into quiet conversation with Eden. It seemed my news of London would not be discussed, but Josh and Ky seemed happy to talk about my blog. My excitement about London could not be diminished, though, and I spoke openly with Eden.
“So are you going to sell your apartment?" Eden asked as she twisted spaghetti around her fork.
"Yeah, I think so. Starting next week, I’m having some work done on it so I’ve reserved a room at The Grand Hotel, because I can’t stay at my place while they work on the bathrooms."
"Do I not exist?" Josh asked, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, still pissed at his reaction about London. “Good to see you’re talking to me now.”
“Why would you spend money at a hotel when I’ve got a spare room?”
Me staying with Josh? That would be like giving me a flute of gasoline and putting it onto a simmering fire. We had a fiery relationship, that seemed to always simmer just below the surface, and it was only a matter of time before it was ignited. He frustrated me to tears, but he was also the one guy that wouldn’t leave my thoughts alone.
I stared at him, wondering if he understood my blatant reluctance. By the shift in his brow, as if he was silently saying “so,” I knew he had no clue.
“I don’t want to impose,” I replied, giving the most pathetic excuse in the world.
“Impose?” His lip quirked, and I knew he was getting ready to question every response I gave.
“You know, when you have all your hookups turning up, I don’t want to be a cock block.”
“You are so considerate of my cock’s needs, Ashy. No hookups will be turning up at my apartment. My apartment is a hookup-free zone.”
Ky laughed at his brother's way with words, and Eden rolled her eyes while trying to halt the smile begging to show.
“So what’s your excuse now?” Josh smirked, arrogance beaming off him at the thought that he had won this argument.
“What happens if I want to have people over?” I asked, knowing I had to bring out the big guns. My brow quirked at the idea of what I was suggesting. His jaw ticked. It made me aware that my subtle notion was thoroughly understood, and that he was now thinking of me bringing men to his apartment. Not that I had any desire to actually do it.
Through gritted teeth, he replied, “We will cross that path if and when we come to it.”
Damn him to hell. I had nothing. What more could I really say? I grabbed my wine glass and finished the rest of my red, while glaring at him over the rim.
“You’re helping me pack then.”
“I knew you couldn’t say no to me, Ashy.” He shot a shit-eating grin at me, then went back to his pasta.
“Whatever.”
* * *
A week passed, and Josh was still firm on the idea that I would be staying in his spare room while the work was being done on my apartment. He even went as far as cancelling my booking at the hotel. We had a fight about that too, but he just told me to stop being stubborn, and that he would hardly be at his apartment anyway.
Seven a.m. came way too soon. My week with Josh started today, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been thinking about it constantly over the past seven days. The unnerving feeling in my stomach when I thought about it wasn’t welcome. Don’t get me wrong, Josh and I were close, super close. He had the cockiness that did stupid things to my lady parts, and he had those damn back dimples that would taunt me when we went to the beach. He was a walking, talking, breathing, annoyance to my libido, and that was where the problem lay.
With a groan, I tugged back the comforter, threw my legs over the edge of the bed, and headed to the kitchen. I had an hour before the builder arrived, and I needed to eat and shower beforehand. As of this morning, I was officially no longer working with Alessandra, and the founder of a blog that still didn’t have a name. It was exhilarating, yet frightening, and I had plans to get a start today. The thought alone brought a smile to my face.
The front door burst open as I was standing in the kitchen eating a bowl of Lucky Charms, and Josh strutted in wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that clung to his chest.
“Morning, Roomie,” he said, slightly breathless, before pulling open my fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.
“What are you wearing?” I stammered as I gave him the once over . . . actually, it was about the third over.
“I just went for a run,” he stated like it was the most obvious answer in the world. “I should be the one asking what you’re wearing.”
I looked down at myself. “Panties and a cami. I just got out of bed, give me a break.”
His tongue darted out and licked his lips, as his eyes roamed freely over my almost-naked body. “I’d have gotten you to move in years ago if I knew you’d be wearing that.”
“I’ll be sure to pack my onesie, because this body is going to be covered.” I laughed and nudged his shoulder as I walked through the kitchen and into the living room, as the sound of an incoming text message sounded. I spun around to look at the couch and grab my phone, and realized Josh had followed me in.
His eyes fell to my naked thighs and lingered over my hips, before gliding up my stomach, and landing on my boobs, which were straining against my camisole.
“Eyes up here, Joshua.”
A heated promise hit his eyes when they finally found mine. “You have a body that makes men want to sin.”
My breathing stammered, and heat flushed through my body. I was a confident woman. I knew my curves had served me well in the past, but having Josh make a comment like that and give me the look of complete worship made me feel more like a woman than any other man had before.
“He is a fucking idiot for messing around on you.”
He rubbed his hand over his face, and I couldn’t tear my eyes from him. The atmosphere had turned electric, and I needed to grab control. “I should go pack.”
“Here’s a key. I’m not sure what time I’ll be home tonight.” He placed a silver key in my palm and headed to the door. Just as he was about to step into the hall, he turned back and gave my body one more glance. “I’m really looking forward to having you around.”
Suddenly, my body was switched on once again, and chaos ran wild throughout me. Something told me that the unknown I was about to step into would be something I could never predict.
Three hours later, my bedroom was in chaos, and I was quickly gaining a headache from the builder banging away in my main bathroom. After Josh left me in a mass of confusing butterflies, I quickly showered, checked emails, and
began the arduous task of packing. My suitcase lay open with dresses, jeans, and lingerie exploding out of it and covering my bed. I sashayed around my bedroom as I listened to Ellie Goulding, waving one of my scarves behind me. Usually, I could feel Josh in the room, but now I was oblivious. I froze when I caught him leaning against my bedroom door, watching me closely with his arms folded over his chest.
“You really need to learn to knock.” I threw the scarf back onto my bed.
“And where is the fun in that.” He stepped into my bedroom, and his gaze went straight to my walk-in closet. “I had an idea for your blog name.”
My interest piqued as I waited for him to continue. I took a seat on the edge of the bed and couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. Josh disappeared into my closet and returned a few seconds later, holding my strapless bandeaux red dress in one hand, and my strappy, black, very-expensive heels in the other.
“I want you to wear this and these,” he said, dropping the heels and dress in my suitcase. I looked between him and my suitcase, confused.
“One of my favorite things about you is your randomness, but this is taking it to a whole new level.” I laughed.
“You’ll be wearing this when we celebrate the launch of Ashlyn’s Closet.” He smiled and walked out of my bedroom, leaving me completely speechless and overwhelmed.
“Ashlyn’s Closet,” I whispered to myself. “It’s perfect.”
7
Josh
The contents of Eden’s eager text message had been playing on my mind all day. Eden was known for her excitement, but there was something about this one that was crazy excited, even by her standards.
Joshy, we are going out for dinner and drinks tonight. Meet us downstairs at seven. Don't be late. I have a massive surprise for you!!!!!
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed dinner with my brother and Eden, but I never got so excited that I used multiple exclamations marks in my texts. Knowing that if I didn’t reply she’d be texting me all day, I tapped in a quick response informing her I’d be there, before placing my phone face down on my desk and turning back to the twenty-three unanswered emails sitting in my inbox.
