by Jewel, Bella
“Team Joslyn.”
26
Ashlyn
There was no way I could be hearing this. Austin had to be drunk, because he was spilling craziness all over the place. After reluctantly leaving Josh’s house the night before, I came home and barely slept a wink. All I wanted to do was call him and crawl into his bed, but he gave me space when I needed it, so I needed to give him the same.
After having an early dinner with Eden, I came home to Austin’s call. When I answered, I went into shock.
“Why did I receive a phone call from Josh asking what kind of time he’d do if he was to knock the fuck out of your ex-boyfriend?” he asked with an amused tone.
I froze just inside my living room, and tried to grasp what my brother had just said.
“What did you just say?” I asked in a stutter.
“You heard me. Josh filled me in on a few things that you should have told me, but that’s another story. I told him ways to get around it, and wished him good luck.”
“Austin Hart, you are a man of the law. You do not tell a person how to harm someone and get away with it,” I shrieked at my brother absurdness.
“Yes, I am a man of the law, but you are my sister. You take priority.”
“What did you tell him?” I asked quietly as I took a seat on the edge of the couch. My brain was rattled. This wasn’t good. This was bad, so fucking bad.
“Nothing for you to worry about. I like him, Ash. I like him a fucking lot. It’s good to know someone is protecting you over there. I approve.”
“Good to hear my big brother approves,” I said softly.
“So, are you fucking him?”
“Austin Joseph Hart, you do not ask your virginal little sister if she is having sex.”
“Virginal my ass. So, are you?”
I knew he wouldn’t let up. “We have enjoyed each other’s company.”
“So that is a yes to fucking him. What’s holding you back?”
“Are we seriously having this conversation?” I groaned, knowing full well that he wouldn’t hang up until I told him everything.
“Start talking.”
I took a deep breath. “I’ve always put Josh on such a pedestal. Throughout everything, he was always that guy . . . he is that guy. He makes me giggle, makes my stomach flutter, treats me like a queen, and the thought of growing old with him has crossed my mind plenty of times. We’ve spent a lot of time together lately, and he is—no he has, reignited a fire inside me. But, Austin, I know I’d never survive if I lost him. My heart would never recover, and that is what’s been holding me back from completely dropping my guard. So, I got scared, and I kind of suggested Friends with Benefits, and he freaked out.”
His deep laughter was not what I expected. What had I said that was so funny? “Why are you laughing? I’m opening up to you here.”
“You suggested friends with benefits to Josh Crawford?”
“And your point being?”
“Firstly, you don’t do casual. You never have. Secondly, there is nothing casual about his feelings for you. I can completely understand why he was insulted that you suggested it.”
“When the hell did you and Josh Crawford become besties?” I sighed in frustration, but my intrigue was firing on all cylinders.
“Since he called and asked me for my advice, and told me his intentions in protecting you. Don’t give him too much agony, Ducky. Listen to your heart, and tell your head to fuck off. Go to him, be happy, and let him be what you have always wanted.”
“We went on a date a couple of days ago,” I admitted with a smile at the memories.
“Keep going on dates. Open your heart to him. Be all romantic and shit.”
“I love you,” I said softly.
“Love you too, Ducky. Now get your ass off the couch and go to him.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the nickname he had given me all those years ago, even though it came about when he called me an ugly duckling. I shoved my phone back into my clutch and tried to digest everything Austin said. The one thing that resounded to me was “listen to your heart.”
The moment Josh rushed out of his bedroom to grab a candle the night he took my virginity, my heart was his. That was my first experience with a Josh Crawford kind of romance; a romance that was spontaneous, heart stuttering, and so beautifully unique that no other man had a chance. My heart liked it. A lot. The thought alone brought a smile to my face. The fears I now lived with weren’t devastating, and they weren’t brutal. They were life changing and beautifully unique. It was then that I realized I wanted to love and be loved by one man. A man that wanted to offer me the world. It was when I knew that I needed him completely in my life, like I needed air to breathe.
There was a sense of purpose in every step I took to his apartment. These were the days I was thankful for living on the same floor. I knocked loudly on the closed door and waited. I had no clue what I was going to say. For the first time in a long time, I had absolutely nothing planned, and it felt phenomenal.
The door opened slowly, and Josh appeared.
Shirtless.
In sweatpants.
With stubble and stupidly-perfect hair.
“Ashy, are you okay? What are you doing he—”
I placed my open palms on his chest and pushed him back into his apartment. Before I could stop myself, and like I was a woman possessed, my lips slammed to his and he stumbled backward. With my foot, I kicked the door shut, while never tearing my mouth away from his. Four days without kissing him was too long. My tongue traced the seam of his lips, and he immediately granted me access. My tongue darted into his mouth and caressed his with the passion of 1000 first kisses. If I couldn’t give him my words, I’d show him with my actions. His arms wrapped around my waist, and I was lifted from my feet. Then my legs wrap circled his hips as we moved through his apartment. My gasp echoed through the heated air as my back slammed against the wall.
“You and me, Ashy,” he said with a growl against my neck as his teeth nipped at my skin.
“You called Austin,” I mumbled as his hands slid up my skirt until it was bunched around my waist.
“Yep.”
“We need to talk about that, but first I need you to either fuck me here or put me down so I can go back to my apartment to find my vibrator, because hearing that about you and then coming here and seeing you with your shirt off and fuckable hair has made me desperate. Tonight you claim me, Josh. You claim me so no other man gets me.”
He pulled his face away from the confines of my neck and stared at me in wonderment. “What are you saying?”
“Make me yours.”
I hadn’t even finished talking before his hand slipped into my panties. My head slammed back while his remaining hand held me in place. I could hear how wet I was with every intense stroke of his finger, and that sound alone caused my body to shake with excitement. My lips came back to his and I let him devour me. When Josh took control, I knew he would take me to a place of no return.
“Always so wet.” With one swift movement, Josh thrust his cock deep inside of me, and I cried out his name as fireworks were set off within my body. “You’re mine, Ashy. Always have been, and always will be.”
We were frantic. He pumped into me like his life depended on it, and my body met every one of his movements. Our lips hovered near one another, his breath becoming mine, and my pants becoming his. This was pure lustful fucking. There was no romance, no gentleness, and no sweetness to this. This kind of fucking would leave me aching for days. My skin would be peppered with bite marks, and my lips would be bruised. I could not wait to spend the next few days reliving this moment. My core clenched around his cock and the animal-like growl that fired up his throat encouraged the lioness within me.
“You keep clenching my cock like that and I’m coming inside your pussy.”
No man had ever come inside of me, and the thought of Josh being the first sent me into an uncontrollable spin. It would be the first ste
p in giving him my complete trust; something I knew he deserved.
I moved my lips to his ear and, with broken breath, whispered, “First man to fuck me, and now the first man to come inside of me. Claim me, Josh. Mark me forever.”
There was nothing in the world that turned me on more than seeing Josh’s eyes turn dark and intense with need. My words were exactly what he wanted to hear, and his body reacted immediately. All I cared about was Josh, and living in the here and now. His name fell from my lips in pure ecstasy as I begged him to go harder and deeper. He never disappointed. My body clenched around him as a billion stars fired behind my eyes. I came undone with a scream of his name and, within seconds, his face was buried in my neck as he spilled all of him deep within me.
He retreated from my neck, and soon our foreheads rested together while our breathing collided into a perfect melody.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he whispered so delicately that my already-screaming heart thundered in extra delight within my chest. We moved as one through the apartment, my quivering legs wrapped tightly around his hips. He was still planted deep inside of me, so with every step he took, my body felt like I was headed for another life-altering orgasm. My eyes never left his, and the contentment that gazed back at me cemented the reality of what we had just done. His eyes fired possession, ownership, and commitment, and there was nothing I wanted to see more.
Gently, he lowered me onto his bed. When he pulled out, I felt the loss immediately. He stood beside the bed and allowed his eyes to roam over me. I had never felt so wanted in my life. I inhaled sharply as his fingertips grazed my hip and unzipped my skirt, then he pulled it over my thighs, along with my panties. His stare landed between my thighs, and a searing heat shot through me.
“I can see myself spilling out of you, and it’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” he said in a low, growl-like voice. Tonight he had claimed me like a king choosing a virgin to warm his bed.
I watched eagerly as he leaned over, and in one torturously slow movement, slid a finger through my pussy. I shivered under the sensation, and gasped loudly into the still air. He lifted his finger, which was covered in his own release, to my mouth, and placed it between my lips. I sucked it with enthusiasm, while his eyes locked with mine. As I swirled my tongue around his finger, his eyes closed, and I felt my chest swell with pride.
“You have ruined me, Ashlyn Hart. Absolutely ruined me.” He groaned as I released his finger. “I’ll go grab a cloth.”
He disappeared into his bathroom and returned with a warm cloth, then proceeded to clean my still-sensitive sex, before pulling a pair of his sweats up my legs and dressing me in one of his tees.
“Are you spending the night?” he whispered, climbing on the bed beside me and rolling to his side to face me.
Gazing back at him, I took a moment to enjoy his features through sleepy eyes. He was a stunning man. He had eyes so dark I felt like I was looking at melted chocolate, yet so expressive that they told you everything he was thinking, with a perfectly pink set of lips, and a strong jaw line that looked like it had been chiseled by the gods. He was almost too handsome.
“Yep.”
“You are what I want, Ashy, and I know I’m what you want. I feel it in the lightness of your touch. I see it in the intimacy of your gaze, and I taste it in the sweetness of your kiss. My role as a man is to give my woman what she has always wanted. I will give you your happily-ever-after, Ashy, and it will be my greatest accomplishment. Your bruises and hurt are mine to heal, and I will protect you for the rest of my life. You have my word. You’re mine, Ashy, and what’s mine is mine forever.”
God damn it, he was going to make me die from swoon overload.
* * *
The last twenty-four hours were my eye-opener, and it made me realize that one moment can open your eyes to exactly what you had been too blind to see. It was my first step to a new beginning. Today it was my time to take the reins and show him and the world that I was indeed his.
I walked down the hall of Beats and Bangs with an extra swing of determination in my step. I felt good. I felt confident. I was ready for this, whatever the hell it would mean, and if there was fall out, I’d face that too. We would face it. Together.
“I need to talk to you,” I announced, walking into Ky’s office with a sense of purpose, not bothering to knock. I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath before I turned to face him.
Ky looked up from his laptop in shock at my intrusion, and his eyes narrowed in worry. “What's wrong?”
“I can talk to you about anything, right?” I asked as I took a seat in the visitor’s seat opposite him, then placed my phone on the top of the desk and my bag on the floor.
“Of course,” he replied immediately and closed his laptop. Then he took the phone of the hook so we wouldn’t be interrupted. Seriously, could he be a better best friend?
I took a deep breath and sorted through my options. Ky sat behind his desk, his complete attention on me, and suddenly I felt like I was in the principal’s office, waiting to admit my misdemeanors. How was I meant to say this? I tapped my nails on the desk as I tried to formulate the words that wouldn’t leave him ripping his hair out and potentially flipping his desk.
Your brother is the best lay of my life and he has ruined me.
Downstairs is only open to your brother from now on.
I'm infatuated and falling head over heels for your brother.
“Ash, what's going on?” Ky pushed, and I met finally his eyes.
“I've been with Josh.”
There. I said it. Suddenly, relief spitfired through me, and I began to relax. Last night everything shifted within me. I saw Josh for everything he was. What I wanted was reignited. Lachlan hadn’t destroyed me, and I wouldn’t allow him that power. The look that flashed through Josh’s eyes when Lachlan spat his hurtful taunt about being second choice had made me sick. Josh was never second choice, but knowing that thought had sliced through him caused me to step up. I couldn’t let him think that. He was always number one, but I had been too scared to tell him. My stupid fears made the man that ruined me for all other men question where he stood with me.
“I know, Ash. You stayed at his apartment, so of course you were with him,” he replied with a non-understanding smile.
I looked inquisitively at my best friend. Shit, he had no clue what I was talking about.
“I’m seeing him, Ky,” I said with emphasis to make it clearer, rather than coming straight out and telling him that I was sleeping with his brother.
I watched in fascination as he attempted to understand what I just said. Suddenly realization and shock flashed over his face. “You two are fucking?” he bellowed, causing me to jump.
My eyes shot wide at his declaration. “Jesus! Would you lower your voice? I don't need England to hear about my sex life.” Ahh, London, I guess now you will only be a vacation spot.
“So, you are? Shit,” he said, rubbing his hands over his face. “Since when? And why am I only hearing about this now?”
Okay, his reaction was not what I expected. This was going better than planned.
“After deciding I didn’t want anything to do with men, I did what any woman wanting to abstain from men shouldn’t do; I moved in with Josh. Then I started randomly making out with your brother, amongst other things, and while I assumed it would be casual, your brother got the great idea to make me fall for him, and he achieved it.”
“He is a stubborn prick, you had no chance.” He laughed, and I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Women have no chance when a Crawford Brother gets you in his sight.”
“Very true.” His eyes softened, which would have been caused by Eden flashing through his thoughts. He shifted back in his chair and commenced staring at me.
Awkwardness flooded in, and I couldn’t hold his stare, so I looked everywhere but him.
“Are you happy?”
My eyes flew back to his, and a reassuring mix of
concern and hope gazed back at me. It was a simple question, but the question that could be the hardest to answer.
For the first time in a long time, I could answer honestly and without hesitation. “Yes. Very.”
“That's all I've ever wanted for you. If it's my brother that gives you that, then I'll be standing in your corner, but you've got to understand, if either of you fuck it up, I am in a shitty position. So please make my life easier, don't fuck it up,” he said with a sincere smile.
“I was expecting you to completely lose your shit,” I admitted. It was true, I thought I’d come in here and face the wrath of Ky.
“I know Josh has a very colorful history.”
“Are you talking about that tag teaming you two did.”
He sighed loudly and glared. “Do you have to always bring that up?”
“Hey!” I put my hands up in surrender. “If you double bang a girl, it’s going to be brought up.”
“You are banned from giving any form of speech at the wedding.” He snickered and shook his head. “As I was saying, his history is colorful, and he has done some crazy shit, but he is a good man and I know he wouldn’t fuck up anything with you. I’ve had a sneaky suspicion he has wanted to make you his for a while.”
I smiled, and I knew my facade was fading. Ky leaned forward, resting his chin on his interlocked hands, and narrowed his gaze. I knew I should have sent him an email, because I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now. I always got nervous under his stare, and today was no different. I felt myself losing control.
“I'm afraid Lachlan isn’t done with me. Even after the other night and his attack on Josh, I don’t think we have seen the last of him. He keeps texting, and I don’t think he got the point.”
“You should move back in with Josh for a while.”
“Ky, I am not being forced out of my apartment by a crazy ass ex-boyfriend. Josh has put in new locks, which I keep locked all the time, and only Josh and I have keys.”
