by Jewel, Bella
“Change of heart?” Ki asked, surprise evident in his voice.
I shrugged, unable to look him in the eye as I offered it to the woman. “This is something I’ve been working on for a while.”
The second her hand touched it, I wanted to rip it back from her.
“It’s okay.” She covered my hand with hers and gently pried it from me. “I’ll be careful. I promise.”
With an enormous lump in my throat, I shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. It was too personal, and I’d never intended for anyone other than Mereki to see it.
Eventually, she looked up at me, and I was surprised to see her eyes were a little blurry. “Is this you?”
I nodded. “I actually didn’t realise what I was drawing until I’d finished.”
Her gaze returned to it. “You’ve captured something special here. I feel like I know so much more about you just by looking at this drawing.” She studied it again. “Quite remarkable! There’s obviously a great deal of hope and strength in this piece.”
“I have my boyfriend here to thank for that.”
She held her hand out and shook my hand, then Mereki’s. “I’m Madeleine Gibson. I buy art from up and coming Australian artists and offer it for sale from my gallery in Melbourne.”
Mereki and I glanced at each other with wide eyes. “I’m Emerson, and this is my Mereki. It’s really great to meet you, Madeleine.”
She smiled. “I know someone who’d love this. I’d like to buy it if you’re willing to sell. I’ll give you five hundred dollars.”
I leaned into Mereki, unsure if my legs were going to hold my weight. That was more money than I could wrap my head around, and it was such an incredible honour, but I didn’t know how I felt about parting with something so personal.
“Can you give me a minute to think about it?” I asked.
“Of course,” she replied. “I’ll pop back in a while. Take your time.”
After a few moments of staring blankly at the place she’d stood with a thousand thoughts flying around in my head, I turned to face Ki. His wide smile lit up his entire face, and pride shone in his eyes.
“When we were ten years old, you told me it was your dream to be a working artist.” He placed his hands on either side of my face. “And your dream was just validated by an expert.”
I sighed. “It feels like I’m selling a part of me that I’ll never be able to get back.”
“I think you need to let it go and light up someone else’s world.” He kissed me lightly on the lips, then studied my face for a few moments. “What are you thinking?”
“That I wish Jacob had stuck around to see me sell my first piece of art.” I scrunched up my nose. “That’s a terrible thing to say, isn’t it?”
He shook his head. “Jacob is nothing. Forget about him.”
“I love you,” I said. “I’m gonna do it.”
“I love you, too.” He kissed me again chastely, then wrapped his arms around me. “Congratulations, baby. Your dreams are coming true already.”
From the moment I’d started sketching the pebble art, it felt life-changing somehow, as if a force greater than I could understand was at work, guiding my heart and my hand. With her generous offer, Madeleine was offering me more than money. She had gifted me absolute confidence in my chosen path. For the first time in my life, I had no doubt in my ability to live out my wildest dreams. In that moment, I felt as light as a feather, floating high above all the negativity I’d had to endure, and I knew I had no real choice but to sell the drawing. I had to set it free, as it was going to open up the world to me.
When Madeleine returned, she looked at me expectantly. “Did I give you enough time?”
I nodded. “I’ve decided to sell you my drawing.”
Her eyes lit up. “That is wonderful news.” She opened her slim, brown leather wallet and removed five crisp one-hundred-dollar notes and handed them to me.
My eyes darted to the left of Madeleine, where Jacob was now standing with Trent, both holding a beer in their hands. Their eyes were as wide as saucers and fixated on the cash.
I didn’t say anything to them, but I felt a sense of deep gratification that they’d both witnessed this moment.
“I hope to see you again one day,” Madeleine said. “Do you have plans to come to the city?”
“Ki and I are hoping to do a little travel after we graduate, then we plan to move to Melbourne.” I glanced up proudly at Ki. “He’s going to study engineering, and I’ve applied to the National Art School.”
“That’s wonderful. I’m quite certain you have a very bright future.” She handed me a crisp, white business card. “Please come to see me at the gallery when you get to the city. I’d be happy to help you any way I can.” She pointed to the card. “The address is on there.” I took a quick glance, then placed it carefully in my pocket, completely thrilled.
“Definitely,” I said, excited that I now had a contact in the art world.
Jacob and Trent had disappeared by the time we said goodbye to Madeleine. If it weren’t for the fact I had all those crisp notes and her card in my pocket, I might’ve thought I’d imagined the whole thing. It was as if she’d just appeared out of nowhere and disappeared in a puff of smoke. I shook my head, not knowing quite what to do with myself. The one-hundred-and-eighty-degree turn today had taken had shaken me to my core.
Then I felt his arms around me.
“I told you, baby.”
“Yes, you’re very smart.” I hugged him and wanted to savour the moment, successfully pushing away the feeling that things were too good to be true.
Part of me regretted giving up my most personal piece because it was a tangible reminder of how all the struggles in my life had made me who I was—strong and loved. However, a bigger part of me was proud and happy. I’d sold my very first artwork. I’d made a fantastic contact and I had Mereki by my side. I would focus on these things.
It didn’t take long to pack up the stall, and soon we were walking hand in hand towards the music. It was a warm, late spring evening, and I sighed, smelling summer in the air. This was going to be a summer to remember.
“New York then Paris?” I asked, patting my pocket and trying to look serious. “We’ve got five hundred bucks now.”
“Paris then New York,” he replied, winking.
Mereki and I regularly talked about travelling overseas. One day, we’d spend time in these cities we’d only seen in movies and books. Paris was high on the list for art, but I’d always insist we go to New York first because I knew how much Mereki would love it there with the iconic skyscrapers. We were going to see the world and broaden our horizons one day, and we were going to do it together.
“How do you want to celebrate?” he asked, taking my bag and throwing it over his shoulder. “Do you want to stay here and listen to the live music?”
I shook my head. “I just want to be alone with you down by the river, watching the sunset.”
“Now who’s the romantic?” he asked, squeezing me closer to him.
“I can’t wait to get out of this town, but I’ll miss our place by the river, so I want to make the most of it.” I stopped walking and slung my hands around his neck, getting lost in his dark eyes. “It’s the place that brought me to you.”
Chapter 10
When Mereki and I arrived at the river, we sat on the grass and I snuggled into him.
“Let’s make a pact to come back here on this day at sunset every five years, no matter what,” he said, staring at the burning orange ball descending towards the horizon. “November nineteenth. I would say every year, but I think that’s unrealistic, and I don’t want to come back here that often. Do you?”
“Wouldn’t you want to visit your mum and dad?”
He shrugged. “They can visit us in the city.”
I remained quiet for a few moments, deliberating. Three little words. They could have meant nothing, but in that moment, to me, they meant everything. “I don’t like
how you said ‘no matter what,’ as if there might ever be a reason we wouldn’t be together.”
“Is that what you thought I meant?” he asked, shaking his head. “Of course we’ll be together. I just meant that who knows what we’ll be doing or where we’ll be in five years. We’ll be twenty-three years old and probably finished with our studies by then. Hopefully I’ll be kicking arse at a big engineering firm, and you’ll be working on a major exhibition.”
I laughed at the beautiful picture he’d painted. “Well when you put it like that . . .”
“I just think we should always remember what this place means to us and come back to where it all began. We’ll tell the river about all the exciting things we’ve done since we left.”
I pushed up onto my knees and threw my arms around his neck. “That’s a wonderful idea. Let’s do it.” I kissed him hard on the lips before pulling back to meet his gaze. “So, four days after my twenty-third birthday, we’ll both be right here watching the sunset, no matter what.”
Nothing and no one would ever come between us.
It was late when we finally left the river and started the trek home. As we neared the small row of shops a few streets from his house, Ki’s whole body suddenly tensed. His grip around my shoulders tightened, and my heart rate picked up. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m not sure, but I thought I saw someone up ahead in front of the milk bar.”
The moon and a few flickering streetlights made for reasonable visibility, but I couldn’t see anyone. We kept going, but when a stray dog barked, I clutched my chest. “Holy shit.”
“Must’ve just been dogs,” Ki said, exhaling. His tight grip around me eased as we picked up the pace, eager to get home. “Get outta here,” he growled, flicking his arm as one of the dogs scampered closer.
“I think I just lost a few years off my life,” I said, rubbing at my chest.
“Relax, Kalimna.” He kissed the top of my head. “Let’s just keep moving.”
Before we’d taken another step, a strong hand gripped my arm, and my bag was ripped from my shoulder. My heart leapt to my throat. I was yanked away from Ki. I stumbled, struggling against the grip as I was dragged down the small alleyway between the milk bar and the barber shop. There were men, but I wasn’t given the opportunity to see them clearly because I was slammed up against a brick wall facing the wrong direction. All I could see were shadows. Were there three of them? Four? I could hear Mereki shouting, but I couldn’t make out the words over the blood rushing through my ears.
A hand, large and rough, covered my mouth. As I dragged air in through my nose, I could smell cheap booze. I wanted to scream, but my throat was dry, and in a moment of sheer terror, I wondered if I would die like this.
“Fuck! Let her fucking go!” Mereki screamed.
Fear consumed me. I wanted to see him, but what I wanted more was for him to get away from here. I didn’t want him to get hurt trying to save me, but I knew there was absolutely no chance he would leave. I wrestled violently, but it was a wasted effort. Whoever had me was too strong, and I was just wasting energy trying to escape.
“I’ve got the cash,” said one of the men.
They could have it. Just don’t let Mereki be hurt.
With a hand no longer over my mouth, I screamed. “Get away, Ki. Please get away.” I wanted nothing else. “Please let him go. Do whatever you want with me, but don’t hurt him.” His life was worth more than anything else to me.
I received a sharp shove to the middle of my back and my knees hit the rough gravel, then I toppled forward. My wrists were held behind me, so I couldn’t brace my fall. My face slammed into the ground.
“It’s okay, Kalimna.” His voice was desperate, and his words were followed by a thump, then a groan. I strained my head to the side and managed to catch a glimpse of him in my peripheral vision. In the moonlight, I could see his nose was bleeding, and one of his eyes was closed. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
“Shut up, you little bitch.” I was slapped across the back of the head by a man I could feel kneeling between my legs, pushing them apart. Oh my God. He was going to rape me in front of Ki. This couldn’t be happening.
“Please don’t hurt Ki.” I desperately tried to turn my head again, but now one of his hands was pressing down on the back of my head. The other was pushing up my skirt and yanking at my underwear.
“Don’t touch her,” Ki roared. “Please don’t touch her.”
The man behind me was eerily silent. By contrast, my heart hammered, willing Mereki to be quiet. They would hurt him again.
My attacker managed to rip my underwear off, and I closed my eyes, willing my mind to fly away. I thought about the drawing I sold earlier today—the roadmap back to the light. How could I have sold it? Shapes swirled around in my mind. They were usually so clear, but now they were a fuzzy mess, chaotically morphing into a blurry and unrecognizable horror show.
An unearthly roar snapped me back into my horrific reality, and then I was crushed by at least twice as much weight as before.
“I’ll save you, Kalimna.” Ki’s voice was so close to my ear; his words breathed hope into my body. “I love you.”
Then he was gone, and my heart was filled with a fear unlike anything I’d ever experienced. It felt like life was being drained from me with every second that passed.
“Ki!” My scream died in my throat as a blow to my head sent me plummeting into darkness.
I floated above my lifeless body, watching in horror as a pool of blood surrounded me, paralysed by confusion and fear. I might’ve been screaming, but maybe I wasn’t doing anything at all. Someone was definitely screaming, but there was no one else here. So this was what it was like to be dead? Where was I? My vision blurred and shimmered, so I closed my eyes, welcoming oblivion.
Pain.
The only thing I could feel. Something wasn’t right. I was totally disoriented before even trying to open my eyes. Foreign smells invaded my nostrils, and my brain tried to place the scent of pine, lemon, and bleach. I was lying in a bed—the sheets weren’t soft, and they felt cold against my skin, and then I heard beeping. Random beeps coming from somewhere, but my foggy brain couldn’t make sense of it. I needed to open my eyes, but I was afraid. My eyelids felt like shields from whatever I was about to face. I hoped that they’d remain closed. Then no one could see me. I could hide.
“Emerson.”
I didn’t recognise the voice, so I defiantly squeezed my eyes shut tighter.
“Emerson.” The female voice repeated. “Can you open your eyes?”
She sounded friendly.
Then my mind flooded with fear. At the edge of my consciousness was an inkling of something so intensely painful that I shoved it away. Absolutely not going there.
Disinfectant. That was what I was smelling. The crisp sheets. The beeping.
Oh my God. I was in a hospital. Why was I in a hospital? My eyes snapped open and were met with a stern, yet friendly-looking woman with a uniform and a name badge.
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Nurse Marina asked.
“How did I get here?” I asked groggily, wincing as I propped my body weight onto my elbows.
“Just relax, sweetie.” She placed a hand on my shoulder and gently eased me back. “You need to rest. The morphine drip should keep you comfortable.”
My eyes drifted tentatively over my body. “What happened to me, and where’s my boyfriend?”
“You were attacked and took a blow to the back of your head.” She placed a hand on my arm. “The police would like to question you as soon as possible.”
“The police?” I asked, my heart catapulting out of my chest.
“They just want to learn what happened so they can find whoever did this.”
Before she could answer my question about Ki, I surrendered to the darkness, unwilling to face reality.
When I opened my eyes again, I was floating above my hospital bed, and all I could do was watch myself aslee
p.
The door opened and to my relief, Marina, the friendly nurse, was now accompanied by Mereki. I was overcome with joy and tried desperately to call out to him but couldn’t use my voice.
“Wake up!” I screamed at my sleeping form. “Wake up, Emerson. Mereki is here to look after you now.”
While Marina busied herself tucking in my sheets and checking my chart, Ki stood next to my bed, intently gazing at me with his beautiful, loving eyes. It gave me great peace to know that when I woke, he’d be there to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be okay. We could talk to the police together and find a way to move on with our lives. I just needed to wake up.
Part Two
Chapter 11
~ Present ~
“Hey, honey. I’m home,” I say, slamming the front door so hard it shudders.
Mereki doesn’t turn to acknowledge me. I’ve learned to simply be grateful he’s still here at all, when each time I come home, I wonder if today’s the day he’ll be gone for good. I’ve learned to accept the heartbreaking anticipation and take joy from the gift of another day, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less when he ignores me so blatantly. I’ll find a way to turn this all around.
“I’m going to take a shower,” I say, breaking the crushing silence. Making my way to the bedroom, I strip off my flour-covered clothing and hit the shower. I need to wash my hair most days. It’s an occupational hazard of making cakes for a living.
Clean and refreshed, I collect my strewn clothes and place them in the laundry basket. It’s then I notice the pebble on the floor. I left the park a mess, but thankfully, Carrie didn’t notice I’d been crying when I got back to work. One little pebble, responsible for such mental anguish. It must’ve fallen out of my pocket, and I quickly pick it up, smoothing my thumb across the surface.
