I shrug. “I’m not really the planning type.”
He makes a dissatisfied grumbling sound. “You don’t have a five-year plan?”
I laugh at that one. “I barely have a five-day plan. Do you have your future already mapped out?”
It’s his turn to shrug. “I have at least an idea of what I want.”
I make the universal sign for go on.
“I want Sweets Tavern to be a success. I want to settle into Sugarhill… get married… have kids… you know the American dream.”
Panic pools in my gut. Marriage? Kids? Yikes.
Those are things that I never really considered for myself. I’m not at all the maternal type. I really can’t see myself as a mother. I’m excited about Lani and Ana’s babies, but being an auntie is different. I get to spoil them then hand them off when they start to cry.
Marriage? With the right man, maybe. Another thing I never actually considered. I planned to keep relationships casual… no falling in love. Except I’m reasonably sure I’m already there. Could I see myself spending forever with a man like Clay? The scary thing about that question is the answer is yes. I can see myself falling in love and being with Clay forever. I still can’t see myself having children.
“The American dream sounds nice,” I say noncommittally.
It’s not a lie. I do think it sounds nice—for someone else. A wave of sadness overcomes me when I realize that Clay and I have an expiration date. I try and push the thought aside, but I can’t. Now to decide if being with him temporarily is better than not being with him at all.
I lay my head back down on his chest and feign sleep, essentially cutting off any further conversation on the subject. No more pillow talk. I can’t handle any more revelations today.
The next two days are difficult. I beg off seeing Clay Monday because I have a busy day and have to work through lunch and work later than usual. He offers to bring me dinner from the diner, but I refuse, telling him I’m going to eat a bowl of cereal and pass out after a hot shower. Tuesday is another white lie followed by the truth. I cancel our lunch date for an emergency job—it’s true I got a call, but it isn’t an emergency.
I tell him I’m busy Tuesday night because I have dinner with the girls. That’s the part that’s not a lie. Only, there will be no dinner—cupcakes all the way—and I’m the one that called the group together for an emergency meeting. I need to talk to them about Clay and what to do about his whole five-year plan thing.
“What’s the emergency?” Margo says as soon as she’s in the door.
“She won’t talk until we are all here. Where the heck is Lani anyway?”
My door swings open, and Lani waddles in apologizing and saying something about small bladder problems.
“It’s fine. Thanks for coming, guys.”
“Considering you’re the only one of us who has never called an emergency meeting, it was basically a given that we would drop everything to come over. What’s happening, honey?” Ana asks.
“It’s Clay…” I sigh. “You all know we’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now. Things have been going really well… like really well.”
“O-kay,” Margo says, looking confused. “What’s the problem?
“He keeps asking about the future. He wants the American dream. The wife, the kids, the whole nine yards.”
Recognition dawns on my friends’ faces. Now they understand my dilemma. I’ve never been quiet about my lack of maternal instinct. They all know I’m excited to play aunt to their rugrats but having any of my own is not something I crave like they do.
“You see the problem?”
They all look at me with equally curious expressions.
“Theoretically, there is a problem… but what if he wants you more than he wants kids?” Ana asks.
“People don’t just change their life’s dreams for someone they’ve known less than a month,” I argue.
Margo shrugs. “You don’t know. Love changes us all.” She waves her hands between all of us. “I mean, look at the four of us…”
I give her a look. “You mean three of you. I’m not in love.”
That makes them all laugh, Margo the most hysterically of them all. “Whatever you say.”
“I’m not! If I was in love, wouldn’t I be considering changing my dreams to be with him, not worrying about if he would want to change his dreams for me?”
And really, isn’t that the crux of my problem? How can I make someone change what they want if I’m not willing to change what I want for them? And this is a situation where there is no compromise. We can’t meet in the middle about becoming parents. We either are, or we aren’t, and I don’t want to be.
“What do I do?” I ask my friends looking around at them desperately. I’ve never been in love, but I’m pretty sure I’m falling—if I haven’t already fallen—in love with Clay.
“I say you just go with the flow and see what happens. You don’t have to make any decisions yet. The relationship is still new,” Lani says, rubbing her pregnant belly.
“Meanwhile, the three of you knew within a couple weeks and had your lives all planned out.” I throw myself back on the couch, wiping my hands down my face in frustration.
“You can’t measure your relationship against ours. We knew our guys for years before we started seeing each other,” Lani retorts.
I don’t want her to be right, but she is. “Fair enough point. I’m still no closer to a solution…”
“What if there is no solution needed? What if you’re freaking out over nothing? Why don’t you talk to him?” Margo puts in her two cents.
I look at her like she’s batshit crazy. Maybe a sane and rational person would talk things out, but I never claimed to be sane and rational. Right now, I’m feeling quite the opposite.
“If you don’t want to discuss it yet and you don’t want to break things off, then just keep going like you have been. See where it takes you.” Margo could be the next Dr. Phil.
“Yeah… maybe that’s the best plan for now…” I just hope it doesn’t end in my heart being crushed and broken to bits.
12
Clay
“Anyone know what the emergency was tonight?” Torin asks.
“Ana wouldn’t say, just that Prue called, and they were eating cupcakes at her house tonight.”
“Didn’t they have the night planned already? Book club or something?”
Torin and Carson look back and forth between themselves, then to Amos, then me. Amos’ attention comes to me and settles on me like a lead balloon. “No… book club is on Friday night.”
“So they were called to an emergency meeting at Prue’s house, and no one knows why?” I ask, giving each of them a look in turn. Amos averts his attention, and I have a suspicion he knows more than he’s letting on. “Amos?”
He throws his hands up in the air, then grabs his beer and takes a long pull from the bottle. “Look, man, all I know is that Prue is freaking out about something and that she needed to talk. She sounded pretty upset from what I heard.”
Worry floods my system, and I bolt upright from my chair to go check on my girl. Maybe whatever is wrong is why she’s been pushing me away for the past couple of days. I’m kicking myself for not pushing her into letting me come over last night.
“Clay, sit down,” Amos says with authority. “In girl speak, this emergency girl chat is over you. You’re the last person she will want to barge in on them.”
What the hell. “What could possibly be an emergency level call to her best friends because of me? Everything has been going great with us. There’s nothing to complain about… at least I thought everything was good.”
Amos puts a hand on my shoulder. “Man, who even knows. Sometimes even when things are fucking perfect, girls need to hash shit out. My guess would be it has something to do with the fact that Prue has never actually dated before, and shit with you has gotten serious fast.”
I calm down a little at that. It would make
sense if she’s worried about how fast things are moving… not as fast as Amos, Torin, and Carson moved with their ladies, but it’s been fast. Especially for two people who haven’t been relationship people in the past. I try to let go of my worry, but there is a niggling doubt in the back of my mind that tells me there is something more going on.
I’m halfway home when she calls. I answer on the first ring, anxious to hear her voice.
“Hello, princess.”
She lets out a huff, and I can imagine the feisty eyeroll that goes with it. “Hey. What are you up to?” she asks, sounding vulnerable and entirely out of character.
“Heading home from watching the game with the guys. Apparently, it’s a thing whenever the womenfolk get together.” I overexaggerate my drawl, hoping to make her laugh.
She lets out a little chuckle, rewarding me for my ridiculousness. “Oh… I was going to ask if you want to come over, but if you’re already headed home-”
I’m already doing a U-turn to head across town before she even finishes her sentence. “I’ll be there in ten minutes, princess.”
“You don’t have to-” she starts.
“No, I don’t have to, but I would love nothing more than to have you wrapped up in my arms tonight.”
I can hear the smile on her face when she agrees and says the door will be unlocked so she can take a quick shower. My foot turns to lead on the peddle in hopes of getting to her place long before she’s out of that shower.
I let myself into Prue’s house, smirking when I hear the shower still running. I turn the lock and start towards the bathroom, stripping off my clothes as I go. I slip into the shower behind Prue, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her back against me.
“I’ve missed you, princess.” I kiss the shell of her ear and give her a little squeeze.
Prue relaxes back into my hold, wrapping her arms around mine, holding me to her. “I missed you too, Prince Charming.”
“You okay?” I ask, sobering the mood with those two words. I turn her in my arms and lift her face up to mine with a finger under her chin. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
She closes her eyes and lets out a gusty sigh. “I know… and I will… I just-”
I press a kiss to her lips and hold her closer. “You can talk to me when you’re ready. Just know I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thank you.”
13
Prue
I wake up wrapped around Clay, and everything feels right in the world. I nuzzle into his chest and enjoy the quiet of the morning. After our shower, we came to bed and just cuddled. I fell asleep, my heart full of promise. The worries of yesterday seem so far away and trivial. I know my fears are valid, but they don’t seem to be as big as they were. Maybe my friends were right, and I just need to see where things go.
Maybe I can be enough for him…
Clay’s arms tighten around me, telling me he’s awake. “Mm, mornin’, baby.”
My heart trips over a beat or two at that term of endearment. I thought I liked being called princess, even if I tell him it’s ridiculous every time… I really like ‘baby.’ Look at me, Pruette Olsen, badass, enjoying squishy sweet pet names. Pretty sure I just signed over my badass woman card. I don’t care either. I’d rip it to pieces and eat the dang thing if it meant I could wake up like this all the time.
“Did you sleep okay?” I ask.
He rolls over until he’s on top of me, between my spread legs. “Very good,” he says with a sexy smirk. “You?”
I wriggle against him, feeling his morning hardness pressing against my softness. “Mm…” I groan. “So good.”
Threading my fingers through his sleep mussed hair, I pull him down for a kiss. We kiss almost lazily as our bodies slowly start to move together. His cock slips between my damp folds, rubbing over my clit. I wrap my legs around him on a moan, wanting more friction on that sensitive bundle of nerves.
Our kiss grows in passion as an orgasm bubbles up from within. My nails scratch down his back lightly until my hands meet the firmness of his ass. I grip him tightly, urging him on. It all becomes too much, and I trip right over the edge into my first orgasm. The release sends tingles down my spine, satisfying and yet not nearly enough. Clay reaches between us, gripping his cock and notching it at my entrance. He looks me in the eye as he slowly enters me. We both moan as he breaches my opening, stretching me.
He works his way inside me, one thick inch at a time, until he’s buried as deep as he can get. We’ve had sex so many times I’ve lost count, but this feels different. This feels like so much more.
“Clay,” I gasp his name as he pulls out just as slowly as he entered. My muscles clench around him, not wanting to let him go for even a brief moment. Before he can pull completely out, he dives back inside.
“You feel so good, baby. I love being inside your hot little pussy.”
I whimper at his dirty words as his hips build up momentum. I’m so close to falling over the edge again that I can’t keep the frustrated sounds I make when he pulls completely out and leaves me breathless, desperate for more.
Of course, he doesn’t disappoint me. Before I can voice my complaint, he’s kissing his way down my body. Licking each of my nipples on the way down to the place I need him the most. His tongue delves between my folds, and we both let out a moan.
I’m so sensitive that my hips jerk, trying to both run away from his tongue and move with his tongue at the same time. He licks lazy circles around my clit as he enters me with two thick fingers. He deftly finds my g-spot, rubbing that rough patch of flesh until my pussy is drenched, and I’m keening from the overwhelming sensations of his fingers inside me and his tongue on my clit.
“You taste so good, princess. Is all this cream just for me?” he asks on a growl.
I moan loudly in response to his dirty words, unable to form words of my own as he drives me closer to the edge.
“That’s it, Prue… come for me. Let me feel you clench around my fingers. Let me taste your sweet honey.”
Those dirty words, along with one final suck directly on my clit push me over. Lights spark behind my eyes. My back arches, and my fingers grip his hair holding him to me as he lashes my clit over and over, driving my orgasm higher until I’m screaming his name. I collapse onto the bed, utterly replete in my pleasure, yet still hungry for more.
Clay kisses his way back up my body, nipping at the underside of my breast before he is sharing my own flavor with me in a deep, sensual kiss. A kiss that blows all other kisses out of the water. I pour every bit of my love—and it is love, I know that now—and desire into the kiss. Hoping he can feel what I do through our kiss.
He enters me slowly, sparking my ardor. With long, almost desperate thrusts, he builds me back up until I’m crying out his name, begging for more. He gives it to me. He gives me everything as he answers the call of my love with his own.
For the first time in my life, I’m making love to the man that I love. There is nothing dirty or raunchy about this moment. It’s beautiful and life-changing. I know without a shadow of a doubt, this moment changes everything.
“Come with me, Prue. Come on my cock while I fill you with my release,” he demands.
There’s no denying him. His thrusts pick up in intensity as his eyes bore into mine. Any other time, I would avert my gaze, uncomfortable with the emotion. Not this time. This time I look at him, letting him see every bit of my love.
I say his name with a gasp as the most powerful orgasm of my life crashes through my body. He buries himself deep, and I feel his cock jerk inside me, filling me full of his release. For one tiny brief moment, I wonder what it would feel like to have this be the moment where our lives are welded together forever.
“I love you, Pruette Olsen.” Clay leans down and kisses me with everything he has. It’s all so perfect, I almost return the words, but something inside holds me back.
We lie together, curled around each other, sated and replete. I push asi
de my worries, enjoying the moment.
He sighs in regret. “I have to get up. The inspector is coming this morning. If not for him, I would stay in bed with you all day, making love and telling you how fucking beautiful you are.”
The shower is more sweet kisses and gentle touches as we wash and explore each other. Despite the fact that every touch is arousing us both, we never take it further than that. There’s some kind of mutual understanding that what happened before is momentous enough to be the only remembered moment of the morning.
Once he leaves, and I’m left to my own thoughts. Doubt and worry sink in. Clay loves me. He said the words, and my own froze in my throat. I’m reminded of our conversation about the future. He wants a wife and kids. I never saw myself as a wife, but I can see myself married to Clay. I can see a life just like this morning. Sweet sex and deep connections. Sharing our hearts every day for the rest of our lives.
It’s the children part that’s got me so troubled. No matter how much he wants children, I just can’t be that woman for him. This is one thing I truly can’t and won’t compromise on. Tears well in my eyes as I realize what I have to do. After my talk with the girls, I knew our time together had an expiration date… they told me not to worry about it and let things happen naturally.
Well, here we are at the fork in the road. He loves me, and I love him, and we can’t be together because we both see our lives playing out in entirely different ways. I have to end things between us—even if it breaks me open and leaves me empty inside.
14
Clay
The day seemed to drag on forever. Even getting the all-clear from the inspector that Sweets is ready for the grand opening didn’t bring the same level of happiness I felt over the one kiss goodbye from Prue this morning. All I want is to get back to her.
Losing Her Heart (Sweet Somethings Book 4) Page 5
