Just Pretend

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Just Pretend Page 18

by R. R. Banks


  “It's nice to see you too, Laurel,” I say – not that I really mean it. “You look well.”

  “I am well,” she says.

  “I'm glad to hear it,” I say. “What are you doing these days?”

  She shrugs. “A little bit of this, a little bit of that,” she says. “Always looking for the next challenge.”

  The way she delivers that line, her eyes fixed to mine, make it clear to me that she sees me as the next challenge.

  Yeah, not going to happen.

  “Yeah? That's good. I'm glad to hear it,” I say and raise my wine glass to her. “I wish you many new adventures, and exciting challenges then.”

  She runs the tip of her finger around the rim of her wine glass, leaning her chin in her hand, her arm propped on the table, on her elbow.

  “Why didn’t you ever return any of my calls?” she whispers.

  “I'm not getting into this with you, Laurel,” I say. “Not now, not ever again.”

  She shrugs. “I think I deserve an answer.”

  I pitch my voice low, trying to avoid being overheard. “After fucking my best friend – in my own apartment – you deserve two things: Jack and shit.”

  She laughs, a rich, throaty sound. “Are you still holding onto that?” she asks. “Don't you think it's time you let go and move forward?”

  “I have,” I say. “You see the dark-haired beauty down there? That's my fiancée. That’s me moving forward.”

  “That silly waif?” she laughs. “That'll be over in six months.”

  I give her a long, level look, trying to temper my rapidly escalating anger. “You don't know shit, Laurel,” I say.

  “I know enough to know that she's young. Naive. Idealistic,” she says. “I know that she has a real affinity for the poor – whom you disdain.”

  “Nice, so you stalked her?”

  She shrugs. “Googling somebody isn't exactly stalking,” she says. “I mean, the information is floating around out there for anybody to see.”

  “And why would you do that?”

  “I wanted to see what I was up against. My competition,” she says. “Turns out, I'm not competing against all that much.”

  “You realize, of course, that game is long over. You lost,” I say. “Competition's over, and there's no comeback for you. I'm with Bailey now. End of story.”

  “Yes, well, I've been known to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, Colin,” she says. “Come on, baby. You know we're good together. We get each other in ways you and the waif never will. You know you should be with me.”

  I give her a feral grin. “I'd rather stick my cock in a paper shredder.”

  Taking my plate and glass of wine, I stand up and carry it down to the other end of the table, taking a seat next to Bailey. She gives me a smile and squeezes my thigh beneath the table. I look back at Laurel, who's glowering at us with murderous intent in her eyes.

  Just to illustrate the point I was trying to make – or maybe, just to twist the knife a little bit – I lean over and plant a soft kiss on Bailey's cheek. She giggles and returns the favor. Then she gets lost in her conversation with Holly and Paige. It's amazing that the three of them are clicking so well, and are chatting away like long lost friends. It warms my heart to see.

  Leaving her mostly full plate behind, Laurel picks up her glass of wine, and stalks out of the room to pout. I just roll my eyes and shake my head. Brayden looks over at me, giving me a shrug. I motion for him to join me in the kitchen that's situated behind the dining room. He stands and follows me through the door. The moment it's closed, I round on him.

  “I knew this shit was going to happen,” I say.

  “What?” he asks. “What happened?”

  “Laurel, man,” I say. “She's still running around, thinking there's some chance we're going to get together. She sees Bailey as competition.”

  He whistles low and runs a hand through his hair. “Shit. That's not what she told me, little brother,” he says. “I swear it. She said she was in a good place in her life and had zero interest in trying to rekindle anything between you two.”

  “I told you she's a goddamn liar, man,” I say. “An opportunist, and a master manipulator.”

  “Shit,” he says. “This is going to be awkward.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it,” I say. “The best thing we can do is put her back on the plane and fly her ass home.”

  He sighs and shuffles his feet. “I don’t know. I feel bad for her, man,” he says. “She's obviously lonely. She's got no one.”

  “Maybe she would if she wasn't such a rancid bitch,” I say.

  “Look, I'll play babysitter,” he says. “I'll make sure she doesn't get in your hair.”

  “Why are you so insistent on her staying?”

  “I guess I just feel sorry for her,” he says. “I mean, I can't imagine what it's like to have nobody. Nobody willing to take you in on Christmas – that's really sad stuff, Colin. I mean, think about it.”

  “She brought it on herself.”

  “Damn. When did you become so heartless?” he asks, grinning at me.

  I just shake my head. “When did you get to be such a soft touch, Brayden?”

  He shrugs. “I blame the wife and kid,” he says and chuckles.

  “Fine,” I say. “But you're responsible for her. Straight up. You keep her far away from me, and you especially keep her away from Bailey.”

  “Done,” he says.

  “I'm serious.”

  “I hear you, Colin,” he says. “I promise, I’ll keep an eye on her.”

  I blow out a frustrated sigh and run a hand through my hair. I don't have a good feeling about this. Not at all. I somehow knew this was how it was all going to turn out. Laurel is a snake in the grass. Always has been, always will be. Yeah, I feel bad that nobody is willing to take her in on Christmas, but I also think that shows a hell of a lot about her character, and the kind of person she is.

  I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I can't let her get under my skin. It's Christmas, and my family is here. I have to focus on that, rather than that petty, evil bitch. And I sure as hell won’t let her ruin our good time.

  “We good?” Brayden asks.

  “Yeah,” I answer. “We're good.”

  “Alright, great,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder.

  We head back into the dining room, and I'm intent on putting this behind us and focusing only on having a good time with my family.

  This time of year, family is all that’s important.

  Bailey

  “Can I just say, I'm really glad that woman didn't come with us,” Katie chimes in.

  “You and me both,” Paige says.

  “That makes three of us,” Holly agrees.

  I sit back in my seat and laugh. I feel a bit bad for Laurel, given the fact that everyone seems to hate her so much. Well – everyone except the boys. I understand where they're coming from, though. She's an old family friend with nowhere to go on Christmas. That has to be one of the loneliest feelings a person can ever experience. But, it forces me to ask myself – why did none of her friends invite her to celebrate Christmas with them? What does that say about who she is?

  I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't know what they've been through or their personal struggles, and I don't know what they're dealing with now. It's not for me to judge. I believe most people can be redeemed, and that at heart, most people are good.

  But, less than a day around that woman, and she's really making me reconsider those beliefs.

  We're sitting in a spa – the girls all insisted we go out for massages, facials, and mani-pedis. After that, they decided we'd go for lunch. They wanted to make a whole day of it. I've never actually been to a spa, so I'm feeling really out of my comfort zone and awkward.

  At the moment, we're all naked, sitting in a pool filled with hot mud. They say it's supposed to be good for the skin, I guess. They picked up on my awkwardness early, and as spa vete
rans, took me under their wing, so I'm relying on their experience to shepherd me through this bizarre, female-bonding ritual.

  “This is one of the perks to being married to a rich guy,” Holly says and giggles. “Spa days.”

  “I'll second that,” Paige adds. “I'd never been to a spa before Liam physically picked me up and dropped me off at one for the first time.”

  “Now, he can't seem to get you out of them,” Katie laughs.

  Paige throws a bit of mud at her sister-in-law. “Oh, shut up,” she says and laughs. “Last I heard, you rack up more frequent flier miles in spas around Savannah than I do.”

  “Well, that's true,” she replies. “But that’s only because Aidan forces me to go.”

  “They love to pamper us,” Holly explains to me.

  “More like, they like to go out for a beer and a game with their buddies, and keep us busy while they do so,” Paige clarifies.

  “That too,” Holly laughs.

  “Hey, I'm happy to go for a spa day whenever my darling husband wants me to,” Katie says. “Nothing wrong with pampering ourselves from time to time.”

  “More like all the time,” Paige says.

  We all burst into laughter. I can't help it. I love these girls. It's been less than a day, but I feel so at home with them, it feels unbelievable. They seem to accept me for who I am, regardless of my background. They don't judge me for what I have, or what I don't. They aren’t criticizing me for how I was raised. They simply talk to me like I’m their equal. Like I'm one of them. And it makes my heart swell with a sense of belonging and joy I've never experienced before.

  “So, Bailey, what do you do?” Paige asks.

  “Professionally, I'm a paralegal,” I say. “I work for a great firm. I do a lot of volunteer work for the poor in Boston. I'm pretty politically active – in fact, that's actually how Colin and I met.”

  Holly looks at me, with a wry grin on her face. “I have a hard time seeing Colin taking part in a political protest.”

  “Well, he didn't. Not exactly,” I say, feeling my cheeks flush.

  “Oh, this sounds good,” Katie says. “Do tell.”

  “Wait. I thought you guys met at an art gallery,” Paige says, looking over at Holly. “Isn't that what he told Brayden?”

  “Yeah, come to think of it, I thought that's what he said,” Holly says.

  A lightning bolt of panic shoots through me when I realize I went off-script. I forgot the backstory of this whole fiction. I stammer and start to panic, and suddenly want to dive beneath the mud and never resurface. I just want to leave, run away, and never come back. My heart thumps violently in my chest as I come crashing down from the unbelievable high I've been riding all day.

  I'm terrified that if I tell them, they'll tell me I sold out, that I prostituted myself for money and opportunity. I'm terrified they'll tell me I gave my soul as an artist away for access – or harshly judge me for a million other things. I'm so scared that I'm trembling.

  Maybe seeing my discomfort, Paige scoots next to me and grips my hand in hers. I don't want this to end. I don't want them to judge or ostracize me from the group for being an outsider. For being a fraud. A phony. For not being who I said I was. I mean, I am, but – I want to punch something so bad right now. Preferably Colin for putting me in this position in the first place.

  “Hey, it's okay,” Paige says. “Talk to us. You're part of the family. You're our sister now. You can tell us what's going on.”

  I want to believe every word coming out of her mouth, but I'm afraid to. I screwed up by forgetting the story I was supposed to memorize and remember. I'm afraid that if I tell them, they won’t accept me as part of the family, or their sister, any longer. I've never felt as warm and loved for who I am as I have in the presence of these three amazing, strong women. And I've gone and screwed it all up, simply because I couldn't remember a simple white lie.

  No, I screwed up in letting Colin talk me into perpetrating this fiction in the first place.

  All three women huddle around me, their eyes wide and concerned. Not concerned that I'm a phony but concerned for me. Seeing that care in their eyes makes me realize that not only will they not judge me, the three of them actually think of me as part of their family – as their sister. I can't explain it, but I know that I don't have to fear their judgment.

  I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Then, I launch into my story – the real story. I tell them everything from how we met, to our fake engagement, and everything in between. Except for the sex. They don't need to know about that. That's between Colin and me.

  “Well, I can't really say I blame him,” Holly says with a laugh. “I mean, I hate to say it, but the Anderson boys can be worse than a bunch of old women.”

  “Yeah, total sewing circle,” Paige says, and snickers. “I can totally understand why Colin would want to head that train off before it started.”

  “I'd like to say that my man wouldn't be party to that,” Katie says, “but I'm pretty sure he'd be the loudest one of the bunch.”

  They all laugh together, and I just watch them, my heart in my throat. I'm still unsure if they really understand what I did or what I'm doing. Paige looks over at me and pulls me to her. Our bodies are slick from the hot mud, and it feels really strange when she hugs me. Not to mention the fact that I've never hugged a naked woman before, which only adds to the awkwardness. Holly and Katie follow suit, each giving me a big hug before settling back into the mud.

  As I sit there in silence, I realize that nothing between the four of us has changed. They still see me as one of their own. They aren’t judging me or holding it against me. They aren’t going to berate me for deceiving them. They just accepted it and moved forward. I'm so overcome with emotion that I almost want to cry. In fact, I feel tears stinging my eyes.

  “Whether you've been together for a year, or a few weeks,” Holly says, “all that really matters is that he's good to you, and you're good for him.”

  Katie nods. “There is such a noticeable difference in Colin,” she says. “And you're the reason for that, Bailey. All of us can see how happy you’ve made him.”

  “There's a light and a fire in his eyes I don't think I've ever seen before,” Paige agrees.

  “Not in all the time I've known him,” Holly says. “I've never actually seen him this happy. Not like this.”

  “Honestly, I wasn't even sure he knew how to smile,” Katie giggles.

  We all burst into laughter again, and that overwhelming feeling of camaraderie – of sisterhood – envelops me. It wraps me in its warm, rosy embrace, and squeezes me tight. I've never felt something so good or so pure. I've never felt more accepted or loved for being myself.

  “Thank you,” I say. “All of you.”

  “For what, hon?” Paige says.

  “For accepting me,” I say simply. “For not judging me.”

  Holly scoffs. “Like any of us have any room to judge,” she says. “We’ve all done things that we're not proud of. All of us.”

  I look around the mud pool and at the other two women are nodding in agreement.

  “It would be incredibly hypocritical for any of us to judge,” Paige says. “I mean, what’s the big deal? You've been together a few weeks, instead of a few months. So what?”

  “I guess, I'm ashamed of the fact that he's paying me to do this,” I say. “That I'm using his connections to get a gallery show.”

  “Sweetie, if that's all you have to be ashamed of, I think you're in pretty good shape,” Holly laughs. “I mean, my dad tried to sell me to a Mexican drug cartel.”

  I stare at her wide-eyed, and she nods. “You're kidding?”

  She shakes her head. “Wish I was.”

  “Liam's ex-wife kidnapped me and then tried to extort him into signing over his company to her,” Paige says.

  “And my ex tried to sell me into a human trafficking ring,” Katie says.

  I shift my gaze around the tub, taking in all three of them. T
heir stories are unbelievable to me. Like something out of a movie – or in this case, three different movies, actually.

  “Wow,” I say. “Compared to how you all got together, Colin and I seem –”

  “Normal?” Holly asks.

  I nod. “Yeah,” I laugh. “Kind of.”

  “It's like I told you,” Paige says. “The Anderson boys have a thing for taking in the strays.”

  “That's kind of how I've felt my whole life, to be honest,” I say. “Like a stray.”

  “Well then,” Katie says. “You fit right in with the rest of us.”

  I've never felt such a strong connection or bond to people I’ve just met in my entire life. It's a nice feeling. A safe feeling. One I could really get used to.

  I just hope when this is all over, I get the chance.

  Colin

  “What in the hell is she doing here, B?” I ask.

  Brayden looks over at Laurel, standing in front of the jukebox as she picks out a new song, swaying to the music. She glances over her shoulder at me, giving me a wolfish smile.

  “I'm keeping an eye on her,” Brayden says. “Like you told me to do.”

  “And you had to bring her here?”

  He shrugs. “It was either that or send her to the spa with Bailey and the girls,” he says. “I figured this was the lesser of two evils.”

  I sigh. He's got a point. The last thing I want is for Bailey to be trapped somewhere with Laurel. I know how evil she is, and how she'd try and tear Bailey down. It's not an ideal situation, but I guess it’s the best we can do.

  Turning, I join my other brothers at the bar. They're laughing hysterically about something that happened more than twenty years ago – as if it had just happened.

  “You boys need some new material,” I say. “Oh wait, don’t they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks?”

  “Oh, little brother's got jokes,” Liam says. “Funny boy.”

  “Funny looking, maybe,” Aidan chimes in.

  “I think he looks just fine,” Laurel purrs as she saunters over. “Better than fine, actually.”

 

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