by Jaci Burton
“I think she’s taking drugs.”
“Really.”
“Yeah.” She looked down at her hands for a while, played with the cuticle on one of her fingernails, then swept her gaze back up to Rick. “She never even liked to take acetaminophen for a headache, Rick. So how could she make such a drastic change?”
Now he knew he’d have to say something. “Drugs alter people’s perception of things.”
“Do they? I don’t know. I’ve never known anyone who took them.”
“I’ve known plenty of people who have. It changes them.”
She wrapped her arms around herself and stared out the window. “I don’t know what to do for her.” She looked at him. “I mean, I do, from a professional standpoint. But she’s my friend.”
He nodded. “It’s different when it’s someone you’re close to. You lose your objectivity.”
“So what do I do?”
“You can’t make her stop taking drugs if that’s what she’s doing. All you can do is talk to her, see if she’ll open up to you, then try to make her see the reality of it.”
“I know all that. But I want her to stop. Right now. Selfishly, I want her to be the old Lacey—the one I grew up with, the one I’ve been friends with since we were kids.”
“That person is gone, Ava. That’s the first thing you’re going to have to accept. Time and experience changes a person. You’ll have to learn to live with Lacey as she is now, and move forward.”
He saw the shimmer of tears in her eyes and wished he could wipe them away. But if Lacey was on drugs, then what he’d told Ava was the truth. Only Lacey could help herself. Ava could only be there to support her. Deep down, Ava knew that. It might take her a while to come to grips with it, though.
She sighed. “How did you get to be so wise? You’re almost like a counselor yourself.”
He laughed. “Me? Hardly. I’ve just been on the streets a long time. Seen a lot. Know when to get involved and know when to back away. Sometimes you can lend a hand, and sometimes just an ear. You learn to recognize the difference.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
She went over to him and sat on his lap. “For being willing to listen. We don’t know each other all that well. And I don’t have many—any—friends. Except Lacey. We used to confide in each other. There’s been a void in the year she’s been out of my life. I hadn’t realized until now how much I’ve missed having someone to talk to.”
“Maybe you need to broaden your circle of friends.”
She wound her arms around his neck. “It’s not that easy for me.”
He slipped an arm around her waist, liking the feel of her sitting on his lap. Comfortable. Too comfortable, actually. He’d fallen into an easy rhythm of talking to her, listening to her.
“You have another friend already and it wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Her brows arched. “I do?”
“Yeah.” He kissed her, a light brush of his lips across hers. He didn’t want to take it further than that because he knew once he started he wouldn’t stop. Not when he liked kissing her so much. “Me.”
Her lips lifted. “Is that what we are, Rick? Friends?”
Warning bells clanged, loud and clear. Did she want more than that?
Did he?
No. He didn’t. It wasn’t in his nature. In his lifestyle. In his future.
“Yeah. We’re friends.”
He saw the light dim in her eyes, wished he hadn’t been the one to put it there, but he wouldn’t give her false hope.
“I can’t be what you want me to be, Ava. All there can be between us is what there is right now.”
“Which is what? Sex and friendship?”
He smiled. “What’s wrong with that?”
She sighed. “Nothing at all. I’m hardly an incurable romantic looking for a happily ever after, so you don’t have to worry about me.”
It was sad that she wasn’t. Weren’t women supposed to be out there looking for the man of their dreams?
Or maybe those kinds of guys didn’t exist. He just knew he wasn’t one of them.
She leaned into him then, laid her head on his shoulder, and, goddamn, it felt good. There was something about holding Ava in his arms that was unlike holding any other woman. Maybe because she wasn’t like the other women who’d passed in and out of his life before. She was solid, steady, knew exactly what she wanted out of life—and what she didn’t want. And rather than being closed off to new experiences and things that might be a little scary, she opened herself up to them, took a chance on being hurt. She was an adventurer, even if she didn’t know it.
For the right guy, she was perfect.
He just wasn’t the right guy.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her, expecting nothing.
But he sure got a hell of a lot in return.
More than he’d ever expected. And maybe he could offer her something. Comfort. Take her mind off her friend.
He tilted her back and she lifted her dark lashes, looked at him with eyes that made his gut clench and his dick harden. She must have read his mind, because she reached up, caressed his cheek with her soft hand, and rubbed her thumb across his bottom lip.
He kissed her, and she sighed into his mouth. A sigh of surrender, of giving herself to him. She told him by leaning into him and sliding her tongue against his that this was the kind of comfort she wanted. No hesitation at all. The way she seemed to melt into him made him tighten his hold on her with a fierce possessiveness he’d never felt for a woman before.
He’d felt lots of firsts with Ava, and none of them were good for his long-term outlook. But he wasn’t going to think about any of that right now. He was going to think about Ava’s breasts pillowed against his chest, her full lips sliding across his, and those sweet sounds she made that made him rock hard in record time.
He dipped her over his arm and ran his hand over her breasts, absorbing the sound of her gasp as he scraped his palm back and forth on her nipples. Wanting more of that, he raised her shirt, released the clasp on her bra, and freed her breasts, then lifted her just enough to fit one soft peak into his mouth.
Ava fisted her hand in his hair and held on tight while he sucked her nipple. Her body writhed against him, lifting and rocking, and she made this sound that drove him crazy—a purring sound that came from deep in her throat, almost like a soft growl.
Every time he thought she was calm and soothing, she taught him something new about her.
Ava could get riled—sexually wound up like a wildcat. And, oh man, did that turn him on. His balls tightened feeling her squirming against him, knowing all he was giving her was his mouth on her nipple, and knowing she wanted a hell of a lot more than that right now.
He released her nipple and lifted her upright on his lap, then pulled her shirt off, followed by her bra.
“Stand up.”
It wasn’t a request, but he couldn’t wait any longer. Fortunately she didn’t seem to mind. She stood and watched while he unzipped her jeans and jerked them down to her ankles.
“Goddamn boots,” he murmured, but didn’t take the time to sit her back down to remove them. Not when he wanted her—just like this. He slid his hand between her legs, felt the wetness there. And her legs quivered.
He wanted her really ready for him. He pulled her by the hips and drew her against him, then leaned between her legs to take a nice long lick of her sweet pussy. This time she let out a soft moan and laid her hand on the back of his head, her fingers curling into his hair.
God, she was hot, tasted like butter, and he could lick her like this all day. The way she responded, arching her hips forward to feed him her pussy, gave his hard-on a punch that made him ache all over to be inside her.
“Yes,” she whispered, her voice laced with a hard edge of need. “Right there.”
He gave her exactly what she asked for, swirling his tongue around her clit. He tucked his finger inside her pussy—damn—so
hot and wet. He finger fucked her, slow and easy, just like he licked her, listening to her gasp, moan, whimper, and, oh man, he really loved those sounds she made. They made his balls quiver. He lifted his head and used his thumb on her clit, taking a moment to gaze up at her face. Her expression was tight, pained, her lips parted as she panted hard and fast. Her hips were thrust forward, undulating against his hand as he worked her pussy and clit with his fingers. He leaned in and licked her again, took her clit between his lips and sucked.
She exploded, crying out, pushing her sex against his face as she came. Her pussy convulsed around his finger in tight contractions. He held on to her, licking her until her tremors subsided.
But she was still shaking all over.
He knew the feeling. So was he.
He lifted her then, his patience long gone, and laid her on the bed, taking only a few seconds to yank her boots and jeans off. He grabbed a condom, unzipped his pants, pulled out his cock, and crawled on top of her.
She was ready, her legs spread, her arms wide open and beckoning to him.
He dragged her hips to the edge of the bed and slid inside her, felt her close around him, her pussy gripping him tight. He gritted his teeth to keep from shooting off right then. She’d gotten him so hot so fast he was ready right now. But he wanted her to come again.
He held his arms rigid so he could watch his cock go in and out of her, could watch her pussy lips grip his shaft every time he thrust against her.
“Come on, ride with me,” he said, pulling out and sliding inside her, forcing himself to take his time despite the need to fuck her hard.
She grabbed his arms and dug her nails in. The pain only ratcheted up his pleasure, made it even harder to maintain control. But he did, because with every thrust she tightened around him, the look on her face told him she was getting closer. He leaned down, pressing their bodies together. He swept his hand under her ass to lift her up, and ground against her.
“Rick. Damn. Yes. Just like that. I can feel it against my clit.”
He loved when she talked to him, told him what she needed.
She bent her knees and gave him more access, and this time he couldn’t hold back. He drove inside her hard, letting out a guttural cry when his orgasm ripped through his body like a rush, blinding him to anything and everything but the feel of Ava’s body shaking underneath him, the sounds she made making him shudder against her as he lost control and gave everything up to her. He drank in her loud cries with a kiss, his tongue dueling with hers as they went over the edge together.
Spent, sweating, he could only take in deep gulps of air with every breath. They slid onto the floor and Rick pulled Ava on top of him, hoping like hell he hadn’t hurt her. He’d had her in such a tight hold at the end he was afraid he’d crushed her.
She lifted her head and he swept her hair away from her face, hoping he wouldn’t see anger or fear there.
Instead, her lips curled in a smile. “Well, that was fun.”
He let out a short laugh. “You surprise me.”
“Yeah? How?”
“Sometimes you seem so straitlaced, like I have no idea what you’re doing hanging out with a bunch of bikers. Other times, like this, you’re so wild and out of control.”
“Really?” She grinned. “Hmm, maybe I’m a woman of mystery.”
He cocked a brow. “Maybe you are.”
“Good. I like that.”
“In other words, you aren’t going to tell me which one is the real Ava.”
She sat up. “What fun would that be?”
What fun indeed? He had to admit he liked her just the way she was. He’d never known another woman like her. Maybe it was because she was wholly unpredictable.
Which didn’t make his assignment any easier, because as soon as he thought he had a handle on why she was here and what she was doing, she surprised the hell out of him. She was innocent one minute, a wild vixen the next. And he still had no idea who she really was.
As soon as they cleaned up, there was a knock on the door. Rick went to look at the peephole. It was Bo and Lacey, so he opened the door.
“Oh, you’re here, too. Hi,” Lacey said as she brushed by Rick.
Bo nodded and walked in.
“What’s going on?” Rick asked.
Bo yawned. “Nothing much. Late start today.”
“Long night?”
Bo laughed. “Yeah. But oh so worth it. You two should have stayed. We’d have had some fun.”
Rick didn’t share women. Not his kind of fun. “Yeah, well, some other time, maybe.”
Like never.
“What’s going on over there?” Rick motioned with his head to the excited conversation between Lacey and Ava.
“Oh. I’m giving Lacey a trip to Mexico. She wants Ava to go with her.”
“Yeah? When?”
“Today.”
Those warning bells clanged so damn loud inside his head that Rick couldn’t hear himself think. “In the middle of the rally? Why not wait ’til it’s over?”
Bo shrugged. “It just hit me spur of the moment.”
“What hit you?”
Bo looked over at the women. “Lace, you okay for a few? Rick and I are gonna go grab some coffee.”
Lacey waved her hand. “Go on. We’ll meet you down there.”
They ordered two coffees in the small coffee shop downstairs, since the restaurant was full with the lunch crowd.
“So what’s with the impromptu vacation?”
Bo shifted, leaning forward. “I have a seller just over the border, and Lacey’s my mule. She’s going to do the pickup for me.”
Rick tensed, hid the shock that rocked him. “Yeah? Does she know that?”
Bo’s lips lifted. “Hell no.”
“Has she done this for you before?”
Bo let out a soft laugh. “Yeah. A few times, actually. She thinks I love her so much that I routinely send her on these spa trips while I have business to attend to. I tell her it’s because I feel guilty and I don’t want her to be lonely.”
“Unaware she’s transporting drugs across the border, of course.”
“Of course.”
What a fucking asshole. Rick hid his disgust with a smirk. “No wonder she’s in love with you.”
“Hey, man, I treat her like a princess. I buy her presents, feed her, clothe her, cater to her, and once a month she gets a free trip. What more could she want?”
Honesty? Integrity? A man who actually cared about her and wasn’t putting her future on the chopping block for his own selfish gain?
“I can’t imagine. So what’s the deal? What are you running?”
“Cocaine. We’ve got a great supplier and he gives me plenty of product. I just sent the money over. It’s a nice clean transaction, and so far no hassles with the Border Patrol.”
“You’ve been lucky. How are they hiding it?”
“I had several hiding spots made in the new car I bought Lacey this year. And the scent is masked in case there are drug dogs. It’s slick, I’m telling you.” He leaned in closer. “We’re running a ton of coke here in the city alone. I’m looking to branch out territory, take it statewide and then beyond. You came back at just the right time. I’d really like to tap into your Chicago connections.”
His nonexistent Chicago connections. “You got it. Anything you need me to do, just let me know.”
As if he finally relaxed, Bo leaned back in the chair. “I have some really good guys working for me, but none that I’m close to like you and I were. I’d like to have you as my second-in-command someday. If you’re interested.”
“You know I would be.”
Bo nodded. “You’ll need to prove yourself, of course. Not just to me, but to the higher-ups in the Hellraisers national organization. Once you do, then you’ll progress fast and I’ll have you positioned right where I want you.”
“Okay. What do you need from me?”
“I need you to do a run for me into California tomorro
w.”
Rick just bet he did. What he wanted was to make sure Rick had no ties to Ava, so that he could ship Ava off with Lacey into Mexico. If Rick objected, then there’d be trouble.
This was make it or break it time.
The problem was, everything was now on the line—the assignment, Rick’s cover, and Ava’s safety. Rick would have to be very careful how he played the game moving forward.
“That sounds fine.”
“Good.” Bo paused, looked around, then back at him. “So tell me what’s the deal with you and Ava.”
Rick shrugged. “Ava’s just a fuck. I don’t even know her. I figured she was a Hellraiser babe.”
“Nah. She’s Lacey’s friend. Pops in to see Lace every now and then, but otherwise she’s nothing to the Hellraisers. I just wanted to know if she meant something to you.”
Rick had to play it cool, had to know where Bo was going with this. “To me? She doesn’t mean anything at all.”
“So she’s disposable.”
“Hell yes, she’s disposable. I don’t keep women in my life. Never have, never will.”
Bo’s smirk sent a warning signal his way, especially when Bo lifted his gaze over Rick’s shoulder.
Rick turned around.
Fuck.
Ava was standing right behind him. And the shocked expression on her face told him she’d heard what he’d just said.
Ava swallowed, but there was a lump in her throat the size of a baseball.
She was just a fuck. Disposable. He didn’t even know her.
The things he’d said shouldn’t hurt, because he was right. He was right about all of it.
But goddammit, it did hurt. It hurt bad. She didn’t know which was worse—being stunned over hearing Rick tell Bo how he really felt about her, or finding out how she felt about him.
When had she started to care?
Rick pushed back from the table. “Ava.”
She held up her hand. “Don’t. Just . . .”
She pivoted and turned, pushing past an open-mouthed Lacey. Hoping like hell that no one followed her, she punched the button for the elevator, grateful that the doors pulled open immediately and no one was in there. She hurried in and jammed the button for the second floor, her gaze fixated on the lobby in front of her, searching out Rick or Lacey.
