TNT – Unarmed And Dangerous

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by Andrea Lombardi


TNT

  Unarmed and dangerous

  By Andrea Lombardi

  Copyright 2013 Andrea Lombardi

  Cover design by Andrea Lombardi

  *****

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  Please note that the present edition of this screenplay has been formatted to optimize reading on mobile devices. The properly formatted screenplay can be downloaded from sergiodisera.tumblr.com.

  *****

  Table of Contents

  TNT – Unarmed and dangerous

  Also by Andrea Lombardi

  TNT

  Unarmed and dangerous

  By Andrea Lombardi

  FADE IN:

  EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - EARLY MORNING

  A desert, misty landscape of wrecked cars and rusty dumpsters. Silence broken just by the snore of a BUM.

  Then by a growing creak, as a FRIDGE VAN rolls through the puddles up to the battered sign of a bar.

  INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS

  The bar is deserted, messed up as its sign. The barman keeps wiping a glass as the door opens, a MILKMAN walks in with a crate of bottles. Picks up one and moves for the toilet.

  MILKMAN: Take it off the bill, I'm takin' a piss.

  INT. BATHROOM STALL - CONTINUOUS

  The milkman locks in. Lights up a cigarette when a bottle rolls up to his feet from down the barrier. He picks it up without blinking...

  MILKMAN: Damn hurry...

  ...pushes his one the other way.

  MILKMAN: ...not even time for a cigarette.

  He just drops it down and walks OUT, heads for the door and --

  MALE VOICE (O.S.): Yo Tony, what's the rush?

  A menacing, over-tattooed BLACK BEANPOLE appears behind him.

  PIPE: Going away without a word?

  The milkman heaves a sigh, removes his cap to reveal the mean face of TONY, 40s, looking all but a milkman.

  TONY: You should be already out of here.

  PIPE: C'mon, man, we're in a crapper! It's fucking dawn, just us and smell of piss in here!

  A toilet flushes as three hundred pounds of lard and golden chains step out another stall.

  BEANIE: Tony, my man, what's up?

  TONY: (sighs again) And I already told you about not using my name, didn't I?

  BEANIE: Well, what the fuck does it mean?

  PIPE: Cool down B, mister X here's right. And we're gonna be good kids since we need other shit before tonight.

  Tony just stares at him.

  PIPE: Or milk, whatever you call it.

  TONY: I bet you never wondered why we're trading bottles at fuckin' 5 o'clock, have you?

  BEANIE: (a beat) 'Cause you're busy later?

  PIPE: We can meet whenever the fuck you like, man, we don't give a fuck!

  The bathroom door opens, the barman steps in.

  BARMAN: Hey, what the hell are you all doing in here?

  PIPE: Piss off, punk, we're talking business here! (Back to a frozen Tony) Two pounds of coke, ten p.m., I'll let you know where.

  EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY

  Pipe and Beanie yawn out the bar and across the street, where the bum is now cleaning the headlamps of a shining white Mercedes SUV.

  BUM: There you go, bright and shiny!

  He smiles wide, holds out his hand.

  BEANIE: What the fuck do you want? You need an asshole on your forehead?

  He pops out a gun, the bum beats it at the speed of light as Pipe shouts behind him.

  PIPE: Yeah, get the fuck away! If it wasn't full of coke I'd break your head with this bottle!

  INT. FRIDGE VAN - CONTINUOUS

  Tony catches up to VITO, the big guy at the wheel. Rap starts pumping outside as they watch the SUV peel away.

  TONY: Gonna tell the boss, I'm tired of messing with these fuckers!

  VITO: Don't worry about them, they're just punks.

  TONY: Well, to hell with them, then!

  VITO: Relax, you just have to wait...

  He turns the key and the engine squeaks to life.

  VITO: ...it's a jungle out there, only the strongest survive.

  EXT. DOWNTOWN street - DAY

  The creak grows louder as a school bus stops at a red light.

  INT. SCHOOL BUS - CONTINUOUS

  A deafening chaos rages on as a formless mass of screaming kids jumps from side to side of the cabin. The DRIVER glances in the mirror.

  DRIVER: Everything good down there?

  From the eye of the storm emerges TIM, 23, face contorted in a grimace of pain as two kids try to rip off his arms.

  TIM: I'm fine, thank --

  BAM!! A freight train hits his stomach as JIMMY, 8 yrs, 150 lbs, tackles him down amid the laughter of the kids. The driver hits the blinker.

  DRIVER: Fine my ass...

  EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY

  The school bus pulls at the curb.

  INT. SCHOOL BUS - CONTINUOUS

  Tim lays almost senseless, a kid trying to steal off his shoes as the driver finally comes to the rescue.

  DRIVER: Hey, not bad to be your first day.

  TIM: You mean it?

  DRIVER: At all. Don't know what you were doing before, but let them push you 'round and you're done here.

  TIM: Well, I'm just trying to win their confidence... (ducks a flying schoolbag) I graduated in accounting, been a dog-sitter for almost three weeks.

  DRIVER: Yeah, whatever. I'm gonna get us a beer, think you can make it alone?

  TIM: Sure. (Wipes blood off his nose) And thanks for the beer, but I'm allergic to alcohol.

  DRIVER: (disgusted) Watch out, they'll try to escape.

  As he locks the door behind him Tim shoots the kids a look.

  TIM: Oh, I don't think so. Now that we're alone I bet we'll just get --

  Jimmy headbutts his stomach as the chaos resumes at once.

  TIM: Okay Jimmy, I tried by fair means. (Catches his breath) You know the tale of the bullied bully? He was bold and strong, until he met someone stronger than him.

  Jimmy just stares at him.

  TIM: Well, if I were you I'd start to change my behavior.

  JIMMY: If I were you I'd go away. Fast.

  EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY

  The driver enjoys his beer behind a HOT DOG KIOSK, inside which TOD, 25, is fumbling with a cocktail shaker and a backpack full of bottles.

  TOD: Et voilat!

  He hands a customer an uninviting, dense pink slop.

  CUSTOMER: And that should be my mojito?!

  TOD: Sure it is, man, the new recipe.

  CUSTOMER: Yeah, you said the same about the cheese in my Martini!

  TOD: Never been in Monte Carlo, have you? And by the way, you're pretty niggling to be buying drinks in a hot dog stand!

  CUSTOMER: Oh, you'll see how I'll niggle when I'll talk to your boss! (Moving away) And I'll also tell him how your hot-dogs suck!

  TOD: Well, it's your word against mine!

  He pops the finger on the customer's back when a FIVE-DOLLAR BILL materializes on the counter. Tod leans over to see the stretched arm of the kid attached to it.

  KID: A Miller, on the rocks.

  TOD: Sure you're eighteen, dude?

  The kid puts up another bill.

  TOD: Just asking...

  INT. SCHOOL BUS - DAY

  The racket goes on as a silent kid walks
up to the front.

  KID: Can I get off, please, I'm ill.

  Tim's terrified face pokes from behind the driver's seat.

  TIM: Yeah, good try bud. Nobody's getting out of here, okay?

  KID: I'm not kidding, Jimmy made me drink a beer, and it was ice cold!

  Tim turns white as the kid points to the KIOSK, where a bunch of brats are lined up before Tod and a bottle of tequila.

  TIM: What the hell is that fool doing?!

  He runs to the door, yanks the lever -- and snaps it off!

  TIM: This can't be happening...

  KID: Please, can I get off?

  TIM: Listen, I'm trying to solve a big one here, just try to resist and -- (smells something nasty) No!!

  He runs to a window, another, all blocked. Void breaks out around the poor kid as Tim tries to think fast and smart.

  TIM: The clothes!

  He takes off his jacket, ties it around the kid's waist.

  TIM: You've got to take them off or we're not getting out alive!

  He fights a retch as the kid's pants hit hard on the floor.

  TIM: Okay, now take that... thing and throw it away, quick!

  KID: Why me?

  TIM: You know the tale of the old sock?

  KID: No.

  TIM: Just throw it away!!

  He's on the verge of tears when Jimmy picks up the kid's panties without wincing.

  TIM: Yeah Jimmy, way to go!

  His smile quickly drops at the sinister grin on Jimmy's face.

  TIM: Oh no, don't do it, don't --

  The panties splatter on his face! A deathly silence falls on the bus, the kid's jaw drops down with the jacket as the door OPENS.

  DRIVER: Man, how I needed that -- hey, what's this smell?

  He petrifies before the naked kid. Tim stands behind him, little panties in hand, a vomit retch on its way.

  DRIVER: Holy fuck...

  He stands still as silence's broken by a skin crawling roar.

  INT. OLD A

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