by Vicky Jones
“Oh yeah, Shona. The mechanic. She was here, but she left about an hour ago with a brown-haired woman. The teacher from Fairview. Hello? Hello?”
Chapter 36
Chloe woke up on the couch after barely an hour of sleep. There was still no sign of Shona. Fighting back tears, she busied herself with her normal morning routine: getting David washed, dressed and ready for preschool. Seeing no sign of Shona at the garage on her way to drop him off, her anxiety began to grow by the second. As soon as she got David outside his classroom, her emotions spilled over. Encouraging him to go catch the last five minutes of playtime out in the yard, she then strode straight up to Lucy, who was sitting at her desk preparing the morning’s activities.
“Where the hell is Shona?” Chloe growled as quietly as her remaining self-control would allow.
Lucy looked up half in shock and half in surprise. “What?”
“You heard me. I called the bar. I know you spent the night with her. She never came home last night and she’s not at the garage. So where is she?” Chloe slammed her palms down on Lucy’s desk, causing her neatly folded paper cutouts to spread out.
“Look, Mrs. Clark, you need to calm down. The children will be in from play in a minute and I don’t want them to hear you say something you’ll regret.”
“Ha. That’s rich, you being all caring and responsible all of a sudden. Shona told me all about what you did to her back in Mississippi. She told me what you were. What you are.” Chloe almost spat that last sentence out, leaving it hanging in the air like a stain. “The disgusting things you used to do for money. ‘Slut,’ that’s what she calls you,” Chloe lied, aiming low on purpose. “You’re not responsible enough to look after my dog, let alone my child. I’ll tell the principal everything.”
“Tell her what exactly? Tell her that I’m the reason why your sister, who is actually your girlfriend, was beaten up because she’s queer? How does that sound? You’d have that poor boy out there taken away from you again before you could finish your sentence.”
Chloe was speechless, half with rage, the other half knowing Lucy was right.
“We both got secrets, right?” Lucy added, nodding to encourage Chloe to agree.
“I just want to know where Shona is,” Chloe murmured.
“Shona came home with me last night,” Lucy revealed. Chloe’s eyes widened, then let out of huge wave of tears. “We got a cab home. She was drunk, and yes, I made a pass at her.” Lucy heaved in a huge sigh. Chloe couldn’t even breathe. “But no matter how much I tried, all she could do was ramble on about how much she loved you. She is completely devoted to you.”
Chloe’s eyes refocused as she tried to take in what Lucy was saying. “You didn’t sleep together?”
“No. She passed out on my couch. I threw a blanket over her and by the time I came out of my bedroom this morning, she was gone.” Lucy shook her head. “I screwed up all those years ago. I had my chance, so now I guess I’ll always be left wondering. That’s my punishment.” She looked up at the clock. “I gotta bring the kids in now. Go sort things out with her, Chloe—she loves you.”
Minnie had been sitting in her living room telling Shona all about her latest visit with her husband for over ten minutes before she stopped and wrinkled her brow. “What’s the matter, Shona? You seem like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders since you got here.”
“Hmm?” Shona replied, snatched from her daydream. “Oh, I’m real sorry, Minnie. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”
“You can tell me anything, you know that,” Minnie said, laying a hand on her shoulder. “Did something happen last night? I mean, I’m not used to having guests knock on my door at 7 a.m.”
“That’s just it, though, Minnie. I can’t fully remember what happened last night,” Shona replied, then began filling Minnie in on her troubles with Chloe and her night with Lucy. Minnie listened quietly as Shona spoke. “And while I was asleep on her couch, I had a dream.” Shona paused, her face reddening. “About what it might have been like that night, if Chuck hadn’t burst in. Oh Minnie, we were so close to kissing, we might have ended up…”
Minnie tutted. “Oh, Shona, you think this old duffer has never had sex? I’m not too old to hear the words, y’know.” She let a tiny smile cross her lips and encouraged Shona to go on.
“I think I told Lucy ‘no’ when she tried to take me to her bedroom last night, but I can’t remember if she talked me round. It’s all a blur. I’d had way too much to drink and I don’t usually touch the hard stuff. Chloe is all I have ever wanted.” Shona paused and rubbed her forehead. “But I woke up feeling like if something hadn’t happened between me and Lucy last night then I’d have missed out. Does that make any sense? Lucy never knew I was starting to feel something for her back in Mississippi, and if she had kissed me back then I wouldn’t have stopped her. I was so confused after everything that happened when I was a kid back in Louisiana that I couldn’t read the signs with Lucy until that last moment. And just when I figured it out, and I had the chance to go for it, in burst that ogre Chuck. Then I met Chloe in Alabama and I fell completely in love. She loved me from the moment she saw me, and I her. We’ve been through so much together that I know in my heart I wanna be with her for the rest of my life, Minnie. So why do I feel like this about Lucy?”
Minnie leaned back in her chair. “And how is it you feel about Lucy?”
“Curious. Like there was so much more to happen with us. But now it can’t. Do you understand?”
Minnie nodded. “Shona, this is the oldest problem in the book. ‘What if I’d done this differently? What if that had happened instead?’ You think other people don’t feel like this sometimes?”
“Do they?”
“Of course they do. But let me ask you one thing.”
“OK?”
Minnie took a deep breath. “Can you imagine your life without Chloe and David in it?”
Shona shook her head.
“Then there’s your answer. Lucy is just the one who might have been, not the one who should be. Chloe is your future. It takes more than one temptation to break something as strong as what you two have. So talk to her. Tell her how you feel, before it’s too late.”
Lucy was staring into space later that afternoon as the class sat at their tables painting. When he had finished, David got up and walked over to Lucy’s desk. He lay his still-wet picture down in front of her and grinned.
“I’ve finished, miss.”
Lucy snapped back into reality and gazed down at the picture. What she saw nearly brought her to tears. There was a beautiful white house in the middle of the paper, with blue window frames and the ocean behind it. Standing in front of the house was a stick woman with brown hair wearing a red and white polka dot dress and red pumps. The second stick figure was wearing blue overalls, brown boots and had bright yellow hair. Between them stood a smaller figure dressed in exactly the same color clothes as David was wearing today. The stick boy was holding a hand of each of the two stick figures on either side of him, all three faces with wide smiles on their red painted lips. A yellow stick dog with a red collar was sitting next to the group holding a bone in his mouth. There was a bright sun shining in the blue painted sky and floating above the house was an angel, wearing a white blouse, green cardigan and pale blue full skirt. The angel was smiling and above her greying hair bun was a bright yellow halo. At the top of the paper David had written ‘My Happy Place’ in green paint.
“You like it?” David asked. “It’s my favorite place in the whole world. There’s Momma, and Shona, and Cooper, and me. Grandma Dorothy keeps an eye on me from Heaven.” He stood back from the desk after pointing out all the figures.
“It’s a beautiful picture, David. Your momma will love it. Go put it on the rack to dry. You can take it home later.”
Every word Lucy spoke was harder to force out than the previous one, the lump in her throat almost choking her. David obeyed just as Polly came in to pass on a message. Stand
ing up, Lucy excused herself and left the class in Polly’s hands.
Lucy called Shona to ask her to pick David up that afternoon. She didn’t feel right about going round to the beach house, not with Chloe there. It was hard enough to say what she had to say to Shona without seeing her rival in the beautiful home David had painted. When Shona arrived at the school gates, Lucy walked him over to her.
“Jump in the truck, kid. I won’t be long. I just gotta talk to your teacher,” Shona instructed, knowing that she had her own question to ask Lucy. David obeyed and sat in the passenger seat. She then walked over to Lucy who had hung back.
“Hi,” Lucy said.
“Hi.” Shona toed the dirt as she struggled to find the words to ask what she needed to know. “Um… Last night. Did we…?”
“What?” Lucy blushed, understanding the question. It felt like an age to Shona before Lucy answered. “No, Shona, we didn’t. You couldn’t stop talking about Chloe and how much she meant to you.”
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to do that. I just—”
“I’m leaving, Shona,” Lucy interjected, her face set. “At the end of this semester. I can’t be here anymore, seeing you all the time. I can’t be the reason that poor boy has his family ripped apart by me not being able to stay away from you. You and Chloe are his whole world and I can’t come between that.” She paused and looked Shona square in the eye. “I love you, Shona. I always have. And I always will.” The words caught in her throat as she fought with all her might to stop the tears from falling. “So I need to walk away.”
Lucy turned to leave until Shona called out to her. Lucy turned around waiting, hoping, that Shona would say the words she’d been aching to hear for eight long years.
“Do you ever wonder what might have been? If Chuck hadn’t burst in that moment?” Shona asked, her own voice cracking.
Lucy didn’t hesitate before replying, “I think about it more than you’ll ever know”
“You ever wonder what that kiss would have been like?” Shona prodded
Lucy let out a sigh and cast her arms wide as she looked to the heavens. “Every day of my life since that night, even when I was with other people, but… Well, I guess we’ll never know now.”
Chapter 37
All the way home, Shona couldn’t get what Lucy had told her out of her mind. In her heart, she knew it was for the best and now she had to make it right with Chloe. Stopping off at the little flower shop before going home, Shona picked out the biggest bunch of red roses they had.
“We’re home,” she called out, closing the front door behind her and David, who ran off into the yard after Cooper who’d bounded up to him.
Shona placed David’s painting on the coffee table, then crept down the hallway with her bunch of flowers and over to the bedroom door. She opened it a crack and peeked inside. There, in front of the mirror, Chloe was about to try on a new red and white striped dress she’d bought that afternoon. Shona, without realizing she was doing it, simply stared at Chloe’s body, naked save for her panties.
“Oh my,” Shona managed to squeeze out between breaths.
Chloe span around, covering her modesty. Seeing it was Shona, she relaxed and smiled back. “I thought I’d treat myself.” She looked up at the wardrobe door where the dress was hanging. “You like it?”
“I love it. But do you have to put it on right now?” Shona walked closer, the roses hidden behind her back.
Chloe heard the rustling of the pink paper they were wrapped in. “What’s that behind your back?”
Shona brought out the flowers. Chloe reached forward and took the huge bunch. “For me?”
“No, for Cooper. Of course they’re for you,” Shona joked, then swept a strand of hair out of Chloe’s bright eyes. “You like them?”
“You know I do. They’re my favorite, but what’s the occasion?”
“Can’t I treat my gorgeous girl without there needing to be an occasion?” Shona’s grin melted away to a more sober expression. “I wanted to say I was sorry. About everything that’s been going on lately. With Lucy? I’m sorry I didn’t come home last night, but I swear nothing happened.”
“I know. She told me everything.”
Shona recoiled. “She did?”
“Yes. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for her. To let you go. I couldn’t do it.” Chloe stroked her fingertips over the soft petals of a rose.
Placing a finger underneath Chloe’s chin, Shona lifted her face to meet her own. “I could never want anyone else other than you, Chloe. You’re my heart. You always will be, no matter what happens or who comes along.” She wrapped Chloe’s semi-naked body in her arms and kissed her. “So, about that dress? Can you try it on in a little bit?”
“David might come in,” Chloe giggled as Shona edged her backwards in the direction of the bed.
“He’s playing with Cooper. We’ll be fine for five minutes.”
“Five minutes, huh?”
“Well, maybe ten,” Shona replied with a cheeky wink as she pushed Chloe down onto the bed. She lay on top of her, feeling the warmth of Chloe’s skin on her fingertips. “I wanna make it right.”
“I was worried when I saw Lucy.” Chloe paused and fiddled with the point of Shona’s shirt collar. “She’s so beautiful, Shona. I was worried you’d want her now, not me. My body’s changed since I had David. I’m not…”
Shona leaned back on her elbow and stroked Chloe’s hair. “Your body is as perfect to me as it ever was.” She let her palm slide over Chloe’s naked chest and stomach, finally coming to rest on her hip. “Even more so now it’s produced the second most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life. Chloe, how could I ever want any other woman? I was just so surprised to see her, and after she explained what happened, I was so confused. But not about my feelings for her. It was more I was confused by thinking one thing for so many years, then finding out it wasn’t how it really happened. It threw me off, that’s all. I needed to work that out in my head.” She cupped Chloe’s cheek in her palm. “But I could never want anyone like I want you. We’re a family now and I won’t ever let anything take that away.”
“Nothing ever will. I promise. No one, not even ghosts from the past will ever break what we’ve got here, Shona, I swear to you. I love you.”
“I love you too, Chloe.” She lowered her lips to kiss her. “So much.”
“Davey, are you sure you can carry that?” Shona said with a raised eyebrow as he heaved up a breakfast tray from the counter. As he did so, Chloe’s coffee cup and toast plate slid into each other. His heart in his mouth for a second while the crockery settled on the tray, David then walked with short steps out to the back porch swing where his mother was sitting enjoying the early Saturday morning sun. From inside the kitchen Shona heard an entirely predictable crash of crockery hitting the deck. Rolling her eyes, she picked up a dish cloth and headed outside.
“Uh-oh,” David said, staring down at the shattered coffee cup and plate. Chloe looked up at Shona trying to keep a straight face.
“Takes after you, that one,” she said before releasing a loud burst of laughter.
“You got that right,” Shona agreed, shaking her head, then bending down to pick up the broken pieces. After she had stacked them back on the tray, she grabbed David and tickled him, then wiped his hands clean of splashed up coffee and brushed him down.
Chloe watched her son and Shona cuddle together as Shona set about reassuring him they weren’t mad at him. “I’m so lucky to have you both,” Chloe murmured.
“What’s that?” Shona said, looking up.
“Oh, nothing.”
“Come on, Cooper, let’s go play in the water,” David called out to his dog who came bounding over. The two of them ran off down the boardwalk and across to the water.
Both Chloe and Shona watched on in admiration of their carefree playing. Then Shona’s eyes darkened. “Say, did you hear that on the radio just now? They’re marching again in protest over do
mestic violence. I don’t know how a march is gonna do any good in ending it. The government need to pass a law or something making it illegal. Men. Goddamn bullies.” She sucked in her cheeks. “Thinking they can go around beating up women—it’s disgusting.” Shona had continued with her tirade not noticing how quiet Chloe had become during it. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to remind you…”
“It’s fine, I know you didn’t mean it. I hardly think about it now.”
Kneeling in front of her, Shona placed her hands on Chloe’s knees. “You’re safe now, OK? You believe me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. So, what are we gonna do today?” Chloe replied, catching David in her arms as he ran back from the beach, Cooper closely following him, his fur soaked in ocean water. “How ‘bout a picnic? We could take the boat out, maybe? Shona?”
“Yeah, sure, great idea. I’ll go bring it out.” Shona jumped over the rail around the veranda and landed on the sand a few feet below. As she began to walk over to the boat, they heard the doorbell ring.
“Can you get that, sweetie? I’ll go prep the boat,” Shona called back over her shoulder. Chloe rose off the porch swing and headed through the back door into the house. David and Cooper trailed behind her playing tug-of-war with a piece of rope.
Opening the door, Chloe froze. Her legs almost buckled underneath her.
“I believe you have something in here that belongs to me,” the smart-suited man drawled, taking one more step up towards the door. He was six feet tall, with jet black hair and horribly familiar dark eyes. A sly grin was draped across his clean-shaven, handsome face.
“What the hell are you doing here, Kyle?”
Chapter 38
Shona flipped over the little fishing boat that was stored behind the shed and brushed off the loose sand that had collected around the rudder. Picking out the shells David had collected last time they’d gone out together, she grabbed hold of the two paddles and began pushing it down across the sandy path that ran the length of the house and towards the beach. Stopping for a moment, Shona looked out to the horizon and took in a huge lungful of sea air. It was as if the ocean was calling her. Its waves were the calmest she’d seen for a long time, the morning sunbeams dancing over the surface.
