by Kailin Gow
feeling stupid. “I could run back to get it...” I sighed,
thinking of the jog across the field.
“No problem,” said Varun. “The hotel gift shop sells
swimsuits...”
“Oh, I couldn't...” I didn't want to admit to Varun that
any bikini sold in the Cutter Imperial Hotel would probably
amount to half my mother's monthly salary.
“Hey – they give me free stuff all the time there! It's
a small perk, but a good one. Uncle Tony wants the staff to
treat me like everyone else, of course...but I'm sure I could
score you one for free if my man Tom's behind the counter.
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You just hold on!”
He disappeared, only to emerge moments later
carrying a hot pink bikini. “I hope you like Electric Scarlet,”
he said. “That was all that was available in your size.” Now
it was Varun's turn to blush. “I mean, I kind of guessed your
size.”
“As long as you figured out I'm not the same size as
Alice,” I said. Varun looked confused, and so I regaled him
with the tale of my mortification that day at wrestling. Varun
tried to maintain a respectful silence, but burst into laughter
when I told him about Misty's response to the boys' cat-calls.
“Knowing the guys in that class,” he said. “They
probably deserved it.”
I slipped into a changing room, finding that – unlike
Alice's gym clothes – the bikini fit me perfectly. Varun's
“kind of guessing” had evidently been based on a more
detailed study of my curves.
I tied my scarf around my hips and re-emerged.
“Oh my...” Varun let out a gasp. For a moment, his
eyes seemed to go dark, like a clouded sea, and something
like pain came over his face. As his eyes lingered upon me,
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it looked like he was seeing something else, some one else.
He wasn't looking at me at all but through me, his mind and
face clouded up with something painful.
“What is it?”
That was enough to break the spell.
“Oh, nothing,” he said. “You just – uh – you forgot
to take off the tag.” He came closer and took hold of my
bared shoulder, pulling on the plastic tag. I could feel his
rough, warm palms against my skin, as he touched me, my
body ached to lean back into his. His fingers lightly traced
the blades of my shoulders as he pulled out the tag.
“There you go,” he said, staring at the floor. “Now
you're good to go. Really good, I mean. I mean – you know,
the bathing suit. It fits. I guess I got the size right and
everything.”
Varun's embarrassment amused me. From what
Coach Matthews had hinted at, Varun was pretty used to
luring girls into his embraces. But from the way Varun acted
around me, he seemed more than a little tongue-tied.
“Hel lo, new girl!” A handsome K-pop idol Asian boy
with a pearly smile, washboard abs, and a surfboard in hand
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sauntered out of the dining area. “I see you brought
entertainment for the grownups too, eh Varun?”
“Brandon, shouldn't you be slopping out pizza?”
“We're waiting for a second batch from the kitchen.
Little monsters swallowed them all down already. Sally's
making sure they don't kill each other in the meanwhile.
Anyway, who are you?” He turned to me.
“This is Mac Evers,” said Varun. “She goes to our
school.”
“Nice one!” Brandon laughed. “If we had girls like
you at Aeros, Mac, I definitely would have met you by now.”
“I transferred in this morning,” I said. “I'm a new
senior. We used to live on Angel Island.”
“I'll do my best to make you feel welcome,” Brandon
took a couple steps towards me, getting ever so slightly too
close.
“Welcome, Brandon. Not harassed.” Varun rolled his
eyes. “Told you, Mac. Fresh meat.”
“She gave me a scare, though!” Brandon kept
talking. “When I saw her from a distance, in that hot pink
bikini – you know, she always used to wear pink. And from
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the back, you know...God, I thought I was seeing a ghost.”
Varun visibly stiffened. “It was the only color left in
the gift shop.”
“I was like ‘whoa! Is that Jana? Am I seeing
something spooky?’ Really Vertigo, right?” Brandon kept
laughing, but Varun's silence made it clear that he was
evidently not amused. “Sorry, man.”
“Go get your pizza.” Varun looked away.
Luckily, we were interrupted by another girl – Sally,
according to the name-tag – who grabbed hold of us all at
once. “You are not leaving me alone with these brats,
Brandon! One of them asked me if he could touch my
breasts! Little pervert. You guys come too.”
She dragged us into the dining room, where we all
began serving out the next round of pizza pies. I breathed a
sigh of relief as the awkwardness passed. Who was this Jana
– and why had the mention of her name made Varun so
upset?
“So, is that the new trendy thing or what?” Brandon
came over to me. “Hanging out at kids' parties?” I couldn’t
help noticing how he was just as well-built, tall, and
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handsome as the Cutter Cousins. His chocolate eyes took me
in appreciatively.
“My mom works here,” I said. “Antonio asked me to
help out. Figured I'd meet some of the younger staff as well.”
“That's how he lures us all in,” Varun gave a mock-
sigh, his annoyance evidently forgotten. “Charming us with
pizza.”
“Hey, it works!” Brandon stuffed a pie into his
mouth. “Next up is surfing, Mac. You ready to take these
little perverts out for a spin?” His good-natured humor was
contagious. I could see how Brandon and Varun were close
friends.
The party passed without a hitch. The boys gleefully
played Marco Polo and water-tag in the pool before heading
to the ocean for a spot of surfing. As Sally had suggested,
they were a little too keen to stare at my bikini top, and I
heard a few snickers from the more obnoxious loudmouths,
but we managed to get through the evening without too many
accidents. At last, as the sun began to set on the water, its
orange flames shooting through the dark ocean, we returned
to land to roast marshmallows. Varun vanished into the hotel,
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returning with his guitar in tow, and began to play as Sally,
Brandon, and I helped man the making of the s'mores.
“Down on the island/where everything's lovely
Down on the island/where everything's fine
I knew a girl, I knew my true love.
Down in the waters I made her mine.”
Varun's voice rang out true and clear – a
light, lovely
sound. The cool light of the sunset made his golden hair
shine even brighter than before.
But down on the island/where everything changes
Down on the island/where time goes by
I knew a girl, I knew my true love
Down in the fires I watched her die...”
Varun's face grew mournful once again as he played,
and I couldn't help but wonder what lay behind his bright
blue eyes. Did Varun, like Chance, have secrets too?
After the kids left, we began clearing up, paper plate
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by paper plate.
“So, isn't Chance supposed to be here?” I asked
Varun, trying not to sound too eager. “Your dad said he was
supposed to learn the ropes of the family business and all
that.”
Varun snorted. “Yeah – he'll learn what he needs to
know in a year. That'll take. Some of us have been working
with this hotel since we were kids. I'm sure he's busy on a
date or snorting cocaine or whatever it is he does.”
“I take it you guys aren't close?”
“Is it that obvious?” Varun smiled. “Sorry – I mean,
I should let you make your own judgments about him.
Maybe he's changed.”
“He wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy with me, either,”
I said.
“Last time I saw him,” Varun sighed. “Last time I
saw him was when Jana died.” He took a deep breath. “Three
years ago.”
“Jana? Was that the girl – I thought that was in
England.”
Varun gave a dark laugh. “No, not that girl. You see,
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Chance gets around quite a bit. A lot of girls seem to get
burned up when he's around. The rumor about Eton – I don't
know if it's true. Maybe he was setting fires again. Maybe
some girl just left her cigarette burning out by mistake. But
Jana...”
“The girl Brandon mentioned,” I said quickly. The
girl I look like. “ I saw that he upset you.”
“Yeah,” he walked over to pick up another pile of
discarded plates. “I don't usually like to talk about it. But I
feel like I can talk to you, you know? Like I can trust you.”
“You can trust me,” I said quickly.
“I'm glad. Listen, Jana – she was Haven's best friend.
She was a great person – really nice, smart. Interesting, too.
She and I – you know. She was my girlfriend. Until Chance
came back for the summer.”
“And you think he had something to do with – with
what happened to Jana?”
Varun shrugged. “I don't think he stopped it,” he said,
his voice growing bitter. “He's just as responsible as if...” He
stopped short. “Never mind,” he said. “She loved him, you
know. A whole year with her – and then Chance showed up
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and suddenly it was like I never existed. And they started
taking risks together, you know. Going to places on the
island where it wasn't safe. Fire-dancing with the locals
without being trained. Like – hopped up on adrenaline. And
I know that wasn't her, Mac. That wasn't what she was like –
she wasn't stupid. But she loved Chance so much she was
willing to take any risk possible...and he didn't watch out for
her. He just cared about himself. About being cool. And he
as good as killed her for it. I would have watched out for
her.”
We fell silent. Varun took my hand and led me down
the beach. As we left the lawn, we came to a lush garden,
studded with tropical flowers. The sunset gave them all an
unearthly glow – yellow, pink, and orange. The night was
just starting to fall over the inky sea.
“Isn't it beautiful?” Varun turned to me. “The most
beautiful thing you've ever seen?”
“Yes,” I breathed. It was true. Nowhere in Angel
Island was anything like this.
“When I miss her – or when I'm lonely, I come here.
To think. To be alone. I've never taken anybody here before.
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But there's something about you, Mac. It makes me trust you.
It makes me feel like I can talk to you. Even about her.”
He slid his arm over my shoulders, pulling me
towards him. It was not the brash, stupid flirtation Brandon
had tried on me earlier. This was something different.
Warmer. Friendlier. I felt, as I leaned into him, as if I were
being enveloped within his kindness, his compassion.
Surrounded by beauty.
I could feel Varun pulling me closer, and I did not
move away. His lips were so soft, so gentle on mine.
As he stepped back, I could see his blue eyes
glimmer with happiness.
“I missed you, Mac,” he said softly.
But before I could ask what he meant, he pulled me
closer into another kiss – more passionate, more urgent, and
then – with his arms around me – I forgot what I was going
to say.
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Chapter 8
The sun woke me early the next morning, streaming
over my face in bright, hot rays. I murmured softly as I
emerged from my cocoon of dreams. I had been dreaming of
Varun, of how we had kissed until the moonlight emerged
above us, how he had offered me his arm like a perfect
gentleman and walked me across the lawn to our cottage,
how he had kissed me on the forehead as we stood before the
door, neither one of us wanting to be the first to say goodbye,
before kissing me once more full on the mouth, squeezing
my hand before I entered the room. I had gone straight to
bed, curling up with my blanket although the night was
humid, feeling the cotton caress my skin and imagine that it
was Varun's arms holding me tight. Being him was like
swimming in a warm spring, I thought – safe, all-
encompassing. I didn't want to leave the dream behind. But
it was day – a Saturday – and the promise of the whole
weekend lay before me like a pearl-hiding oyster. I had
homework to finish, sure – but I also had a whole day to
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explore the island. Last night, over pizza, Brandon had told
me how fantastic the island was for nature-lovers. There
were hills and mountains, he told me, caves and secret lakes,
forests that human beings hadn't even entered for century.
“Maybe I could take you for a hike tomorrow,” he'd
asked, in a tone that made it clear he wanted nothing better
than to be secluded with me in a hidden cave. His fingers
lightly brushed against my shoulders, and I felt a thrill go
through me as my mouth opened slightly.
Brandon’s chocolate eyes smiled at me as he looked
at my mouth. “So you’ve grown up on Aeros Island?”
“Been here as long as Varun and Chance,” Brandon
said. “We grew up together. And we were inseparable when
we were younger. But Chance…he went his own way
a
while back. Now it’s just Varun and I, and we are tight as
brothers.”
“I could see that,” I said.
“Varun’s cool, you know,” Brandon said. “He’s
generous, giving, and he doesn’t mind sharing.”
“Really?” I asked.
Brandon licked his lips. “Really.”
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“Girls, too?” I asked.
“If the right one came along that we both want,”
Brandon said. “Varun and I wouldn’t want the other one to
miss out.”
“Oh, I see,” I said.
“But she has to be some special girl,” Brandon said.
“One strong enough to take both of us.”
I gulped. Why did that sound so hot? And why was I
even contemplating it? It wasn’t like I was a virgin, having
lost it when I turned 16 two years ago, but in this territory, I
was, and it just sounded so forbidden…
“I’d like to take you out hiking tomorrow, Mac,”
Brandon said. “Show you some places that are so secluded,
no one can interrupt our exploration of each other.”
Oh, yes, I wanted to say, but I wasn’t about to jump
into anything that soon.
“Maybe some other time,” I said. I did wanted to get
to know Brandon more as he was fun and sexy too, giving
me a sense of familiarity when I first met him, too. I didn’t
know what, but it was somewhere between the cool comfort
of Varun and then the heated passion of Chance. Brandon
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gave off a vibe that was both to me, and I couldn’t figure it
out what.
“Okay, Mac,” Brandon had said. “Since Varun saw
you first, he should take you out first. But keep me in mind.
