Niall warned, “Do not do anything you shall later regret.”
Regret? Aaron almost bellowed in disbelief. Had he not weathered a lifetime wading in a sea of regret? Why the devil should any more trouble him? Mayhap, the grief would finally surge over his head and swallow him whole into its depths for good.
For the love of God, he could not bear another moment.
“Get out!” His shout resounded from the stone walls.
“Allow me to explain. Please,” Connor pleaded as Niall grabbed the young man’s arm. “You cannot send her away.”
Like hell he could not. He was done with the lot of them and their feeble excuses.
“Get him out of my damned sight,” he growled at Niall. “And send the messenger posthaste. I expect to see Macgregor’s scarred visage darken my doorstep two days hence.”
Nodding his acceptance, Niall backed toward the entrance and hauled Connor outside the chamber with him. At last, the door closed after them, leaving Aaron alone in miserable silence.
Heartsick and his head pounding from his outrage, he dragged his feet to the chair and threw himself in the seat. He dropped his head against the wood back with a sound thwack and expelled a harsh breath. What began as the single best day of his life promptly turned into a wretched nightmare he could not seem to rouse from.
As determined as MacGregor was, he would waste no time fetching his sister. Aaron gave the man a day and half at the most and then, Mairi would step out of his life once and for all. Truth be told, Aaron was unsure whether to cheer or cry.
Chapter Twenty-Four
’Twas past high noon the following day when Connor finally gathered enough courage to knock on Mairi’s chamber door. Once her soft voice bade him enter, he poked his head inside. He found her seated on the edge of bed, her forlorn features trained on the burning hearth across the room.
She’d donned the same clothing she’d arrived in a fortnight ago. Only now, she appeared far more fragile than the day he’d taken her from her home. Lines of exhaustion and distress creased her pale countenance. Dark circles hung beneath her dulled eyes. The sparkling fire within the woman had been extinguished and naught but ashes remained. Her red-rimmed gaze met his and she proffered a wan smile that tore at his heart.
Since Niall dispatched the messenger early the previous morn, Mairi had hardly spoken a handful of words nor had she eaten a bite of the fare that he, Kate, and Gertie brought from the kitchens. She’d remained in the solitude of his brother’s bedchamber, eagerly counting the moments until MacGregor rescued her from her misery. Not that Connor blamed her.
Saints, was love always such a complicated mess?
He swallowed past the swell of guilt and sorrow clogged in his throat. He never should’ve brought her there. From her grieving stare to her tear-stained cheeks, he was just as responsible for her pain as his brother, if not more. His own ridiculous naivety and far-fetched reasoning had led him astray. Somehow, he’d believed love an insurmountable match for any measure of obstacle. Alas, he’d sorely misjudged the situation between Mairi and his brother, and the pair’s stubborn reticence.
With a great deal of reluctance, he managed to find his tongue. “Niall spotted MacGregor and his men’s approach from the top of the bluff.”
Wordlessly, she nodded and rose to her feet to cross the chamber.
“Shall I come back for you once your brother arrives?” he suggested, unwilling for her to leave.
Saints, he partly wished to lock her away in the chamber to prevent her from departing their lives altogether. Once she left them, he feared the lass would take the best part of his brother with her.
“Nay, I shall wait in the hall so that I might bid my farewells to the clan.” Her strained smile pummeled at his defenses.
He gripped her shoulders. Despite her thick, winter mantle, her frame was slight beneath his palms. “I cannot express the amount of sorrow I feel for my actions, Mairi. Had I never brought you here…” He shook his head in disgust. “I suspect that we shall never cross paths again, but I hope you can forgive me. I’ve come to think of you as a sister.”
“I do not lay any blame on your shoulders. Your heart was in the right place, Connor. I know that.” With a hand flat on his chest, she lifted on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek. “I count myself fortunate to have spent this time getting better acquainted with you. And, I think of you as a brother as well. No matter what happens in the future, promise me you shall never lose your sweetness.”
She reached inside her mantle and produced a sealed missive. At his raised brows, she explained, “Kate found parchment and ink at my request last eve.”
Frowning at the letter, she hesitated a moment before passing it over to him. “Please, will you see that he gets this?” As Connor accepted the missive, she hastened to add, “Not right away, though. Wait until you think he’s ready.”
Connor agreed with a nod and tucked the letter safely away in his cloak. A deep sadness settled in his chest. Overcome with feeling for the bold, spirited woman he’d come to consider kin, he hauled her close and crushed her against his frame in a restricting hug that no doubt wrung the air from her lungs.
“I shall miss you, Mairi.”
“I’ll miss you, too.” She patted his back. “Do not forget me.”
Stepping away from her, he ducked his head and swiftly swiped at the bit of moisture gathering in his eyes. Snorting, he forced a grin. “I do not think I could forget you if I tried. Nor, should I wish to.”
Connor flourished his arm which she readily accepted, settling her hand over his forearm. He counted each step as they strode down the corridor to the landing in sobering silence. As they drew near the front doors, he scrambled for a reason for her to stay, but to no avail. ’Twas not his place to ask her to remain.
Once they stood at the base of the stairway, he peered down the passageway to the closed solar door, hoping for some divine intervention that Aaron might swallow his damned pride and beg the lass to stay. But, he knew better. His brother’s hurt festered. His stubborn will would goad Aaron to cling to his anguish.
He tipped his head at Alain and Lachlan to open the doors.
Sweeping the entrance wide enough for both of them to pass through, the two guards bowed their heads and murmured, “My lady.”
At the sight of the entire clan gathered outside in the courtyard, Mairi stumbled to a stunned halt. Though ’twas a disheartening occasion, Connor smiled at his clan’s show of support.
In the short time Mairi resided with them, his kinsmen and women had grown to care for her as much as he had. Much like him, many of the MacRaes had hung their hopes on the prospect of marriage between their laird and the lass.
Connor guided Mairi down the front steps and straight into Gertie’s waiting arms. The short, stout woman hauled her close in a strangling embrace.
“Oh, lass. ’Tis not the manner in which I’d hoped to see you leave. You must promise to take care of yourself.”
“Aye, Gertie.” Mairi’s voice cracked with emotion. “Take care of yourself as well.”
As soon as the older woman released her, her stern-faced twin sister affectionately patted Mairi’s arm. Glinda shoved a clothed bundle in her hands. “Here. For your travels.”
Connor craned his neck to peek at the parcel’s contents as Mairi unwrapped the cloth. Inside lay several sweetened oatcakes and an earthen jar of the flavored honey she favored. Despite the sheen of tears in her eyes, Mairi grinned at the aging sisters.
“I cannot thank the two of you enough. You both are a true benefit to your clan.”
“Go on with you now.” Waving her off, Glinda lifted the hem of her apron to dab at the wetness in her eyes.
Kate stepped out of the gathered clan to stand in front of Mairi. “I’m loath to see you go, my lady. I’d hoped…”
Tears welled in the young woman’s eyes and Mairi swept her in a tight embrace. “Kate, you’re such a dear.”
She whispered in the o
ther woman’s ear drawing a darker shade of pink to Kate’s cheeks and Connor’s curiosity. The small blonde nodded and beamed a bright smile.
“I shall see what I can do to remedy the matter, my lady.”
Mairi passed over her bundled gift to Connor as he led her through the throng of clan members toward the front gate. Several bid her quiet farewells or offered a warm pat to her shoulders as the two of them slipped through. Once they stepped free and the gate came into view, Connor’s stomach almost plunged to his feet.
A rather imposing force of a score of MacGregor warriors, seated atop their mounts, surrounded the outer side of the courtyard walls. The beasts snorted and pawed at the thawing earth beneath their hooves, their unease as palpable as their masters’. Each man wore a readable, hardened expression which perfectly relayed their seething anger without a necessary word.
Donning a daunting scowl of his own, Niall stood firm just inside the gate with his thick arms crossed and legs braced apart. His alert gaze skipped over their guests, scanning the men for any slight indication of attack.
Not that Niall could do much to prevent an assault, with the clan’s warriors dwindled to a score at the most since the year prior when Longford raided their home. Though, there was no doubt in Connor’s mind that the big man would die trying to protect their clan.
As he paused alongside Niall with Mairi, he tossed a quick glimpse over his shoulder toward the keep entrance and frowned. Still no Aaron. ’Twas foolish of him to believe his brother might’ve come to his senses.
MacGregor swung a powerful leg over his stallion and dismounted in one swift motion that drew Connor’s undivided attention. The laird’s commanding demeanor and posture comported authority. His keen gaze skipped over the gathered MacRaes, searching for Aaron if Connor wagered a guess. MacGregor’s scarred face twisted with a glare as he stalked toward the three of them. The man’s icy blue stare, akin to his sister’s, bore into Connor with a sharp precision.
“Where’s MacRae?” The growled question held a healthy degree of menace.
Swallowing down his bout of nerves, Connor opened his mouth to reply but Mairi squeezed his arm and moved ahead of him and Niall to meet her brother.
When she paused in front of MacGregor, he held her shoulders while his gaze swept a quick but thorough pass over her from head to toe. “Are you well?”
With a jerky nod, the lass sank into her brother’s arms, clinging to the man as if her life depended upon him. In some way, mayhap it did. The tears she’d no doubt struggled to hold in check ran freely down her cheeks.
Tucking his sister beneath his arm, MacGregor narrowed his unnerving gaze on Connor over the top of Mairi’s head. “I demand to see your brother.”
There was no mistaking the promise of retribution in the tone.
Straightening his shoulders, Connor lifted his chin and clutched at a store of false courage. He moved a step closer. “Laird MacGregor, you must know, my brother is not to blame. ’Twas I who took Mairi from your home, not Aaron.”
“What?” MacGregor’s thunderous bellow rent the air.
“Nay,” Mairi blurted as she pulled out of her brother’s hold to peer at him. “I left of my own free will with Connor, Calum.”
The man stared at his sister as if she were mad. “Why the devil would you leave with him?”
“I…I…” Mairi stammered out.
Connor took mercy on her. He moved another step closer, snaring MacGregor’s attention. “Please, Laird, forgive me for my actions. I deeply regret the amount of worry I’ve caused you and your clansmen.”
At the rage swirling on MacGregor’s countenance, Connor swallowed against the bundle of fear wedged in his throat. As soon as the big man shifted to move closer, Mairi latched on to his arm, clinging to her brother.
When he peered down at her, her pleading gaze implored him. “Please, I beg of you, do not do this now. Take me home, Calum.”
Indecision warred in the large man’s troubled gaze for long moments before he yielded to her plea. His pinpointed stare landed on Connor. “You can be sure this is not over, lad.”
Connor expected as much. With a parting glare aimed at him, MacGregor wrapped a secure arm around his sister and led her to his stallion.
Once the pair mounted the thick-boned animal, Connor remembered the forgotten bundle in his hand. “Mairi, wait.”
He rushed forward as Niall made a grab for his cloak. “Connor, wait.”
All of the mounted warriors tensed in response and reached for the hilts of the weapons at their sides. Heedless of the danger, he strode straight ahead until he stood alongside Mairi.
He handed her the bundle. “Do not forget your gift.”
“Thank you, Connor.” Her hand brushed over his as she accepted with a tight-lipped smile.
“Be well, Mairi.”
He backed away as MacGregor swung his horse around and nudged the beast into a canter. As he watched the rest of the warriors fall in behind their laird, a firm hand pressed on his shoulder. He darted a glance at Niall who’d moved to stand beside him.
“’Tis naught you could’ve done, lad.”
He muttered, “Does not make it any easier.”
“Take it from me, Connor. Naught is ever easy.”
*
Frigid air streamed through the window opening, chilling Aaron to the bones. He’d stared from the damned thing for an hour, long after MacGregor disappeared with Mairi around the bend leading to the bluff passage.
Why had he bothered to begin with? ’Twas not as if MacGregor would suddenly turn his party around and return her. Besides, ’twas what he wanted, was it not?
But then, why did it hurt so much?
For God’s sake, the entire eve he’d repressed the incessant urge to go to her. As his temper simmered into miserable abjection, he’d lain awake, slumped in his chair, peering at the door and straining to hear every slight sound outside the solar. A wee, irrational part of his brain held on to a small sliver of hope she’d come to him for a change, but to no avail. Both of them had stubbornly kept their distances.
As was to be expected. She’d hurt him. He’d hurt her. The irreparable damage was done and word sent to MacGregor. The cogs had been set in motion.
And yet, despite his resolve to send her away, he could not remain as unaffected as he wished. Once Niall informed him of her brother’s approach and Connor led her from his bedchamber, Aaron dashed up the rear stairway to his room. He yanked the furs from the window, permitting him an unimpeded view of the courtyard and front gate.
Every man, woman and child in his clan had assembled outside in the cold to bid Mairi farewell. Everyone but him. Instead, he’d chosen to cower in safety from his perch in the window like the coward he was, stealing one final, starved glimpse of her as MacGregor helped her mount his stallion.
And then, she was gone, riding out his life completely.
Forever.
’Twas safe to assume he’d never fall prey to the grips of love again in his life. How could he when she’d taken his heart with her?
Again, ’twas what he’d wanted, was it not?
Of course, no matter how many times he repeated the refrain in his mind, the words just did not ring entirely true.
The finality of her departure cleaved Aaron straight down the middle, sapping the will from him. A creeping numbness filled out his frame, the hollowness in his chest a raw, gaping hole of emptiness.
On wooden legs, he managed the short distance to the bed and crashed down on the mattress, face first. Shifting onto his side, he grabbed a pillow from the head of the bed and crushed the softness in his arms, breathing in Mairi’s lingering scent.
Christ above, what had he done?
Chapter Twenty-Five
When the messenger arrived with a terse note from MacRae for Calum to fetch Mairi, his alarm over the past fortnight achieved a new summit. Despite his plans to attempt the pass again in a few short days since the weather improved, he grabbed a contingen
t of his best men and hastened to reach his sister.
Once he arrived, however, one look at Mairi’s devastated features and his deepest fears swam to the forefront of his mind. Christ above, what the blasted hell had MacRae done to her?
’Twas the sheer grace of God and his sister’s mournful plea to return home which prevented him from flaying Aaron MacRae alive. However, his timely absence from the courtyard would not spare him later. Oh, Calum would make certain the man paid for his offenses, despite his brother’s attempt to shoulder the blame.
Heedless of the frigid weather and his increasing weariness, Calum pushed his men and himself onward through another cold eve. With two quick stops to stretch their legs and water the horses, he increased the pace, eager to reach MacGregor lands for his sister’s sake.
Throughout the entire journey, he’d alternated between boiling anger and frantic despair. Swathed in a bundle of furs in front of him in the saddle, Mairi had hardly spoken a handful of words the entire short journey. Not that there had been much time, but no amount of persuasion or prodding could pull more than a few flat, measured words form her.
While his sister may not wish to reveal what had transpired between her and the arse, Calum was determined to find out soon enough. Even if he enlisted his wife’s aid to get the tale from her.
’Twas a few hours before dawn’s approach when the welcome sight of home rose in the distance to Calum’s ever-loving gratitude. Between his aching muscles and mounting worry for Mairi, he was at the end of his tether with patience.
With most of the clan slumbering abed, the surrounding village and courtyard stood almost empty. His stallion’s hooves clopped through near silence as he guided the beast along the torch-lit pathway leading to the front entrance.
In spite of the late hour, Liam waited at the base of the steps, wearing a lopsided grin. Thankful for his kin’s appearance, Calum tipped his head at his cousin. The moment he reined his horse a short distance from the front doors, Liam was at his side, his arms lifted to help Mairi from the saddle.
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