by Mari Carr
Finn left the bed and Miguel listened as his friend walked to the bathroom. He heard water running. He wished he could find the strength to do the same.
Layla pulled the pillows from beneath her and flipped over, even as Miguel caged her between this arms. She smiled up at him, lifting her hands to his shoulders. He lowered himself to her, pressing his chest to her breasts so that he could kiss her.
It was a long, soft kiss, both of them sated, happy. They didn’t break the union of their lips until they felt Finn’s weight on the mattress next to them.
“Don’t stop on my account,” he said, running his hand over Miguel’s back and ass. “I love watching the two of you kiss.”
Miguel felt the same way, loved playing voyeur to Layla and Finn.
He forced himself up. “I need to clean up. Get rid of this condom.” Miguel padded to the bathroom, glancing over his shoulder to watch as Finn lay down next to Layla and pulled her into his arms.
Love.
The word drifted through his mind again, the feeling more powerful than ever.
He loved them.
Both of them.
He stood in front of the bathroom mirror and studied his reflection, slightly surprised to see the same old face looking back.
He felt completely different, utterly changed.
And yet, he looked exactly the same.
He threw the condom away and splashed cold water on his face, grabbing a washcloth to clean up.
When he returned to the room, Finn and Layla were both sound asleep. He chuckled softly. They’d had quite a workout.
And while he was exhausted as well, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep as easily. There were too many thoughts racing through his brain, too many emotions coursing through him.
He knew without a shadow of a doubt what he wanted, but he wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. After all, Layla wasn’t looking for a boyfriend—or in this case, two—and he’d only just embarked on this new relationship with Finn.
Could he change the rules at this stage of the game without losing them both?
Miguel had never been a coward, never shied away from what he wanted.
Until Finn.
And now Layla.
And he realized why. In the past, his heart had never been engaged. He’d never felt the bone-shaking terror of losing the most important people in his life. He couldn’t imagine living his life without either of them.
So…this was love.
Wow.
It sucked.
Chapter Fifteen
Finn sat in the corner booth at Pat’s Pub, nursing his Guinness, ignoring the dinner rush, the constant ebb and flow of patrons coming and going. He knew most of the people in the place, but apparently he was wearing his miserable heart on his sleeve because, aside from a few hellos, everyone was giving him a wide berth.
He’d been sitting alone for the past two hours, trying to wrap his head around everything that had occurred last night. And this morning.
Talk about a life-changing twenty-four hours.
So many things had happened that he felt sort of numb.
He’d had sex with Miguel.
He’d fucked another man.
And holy shit, had he enjoyed it.
After that explosive sex, he’d fallen asleep, waking up in the wee hours of the night to discover he was spooning Layla. She must have felt him stir, because she’d pressed her rear end closer and he’d gotten hard. His permanent condition whenever he was with Layla and Miguel.
Drowsily, he’d kept his eyes closed as he’d pressed inside her, moving in and out slowly. Layla began to meet his thrusts, though neither of them sought to increase the pace, content to just savor the moment. She’d moaned softly when he’d shifted slightly and found her G-spot.
Then the bed shifted, and his eyelids had popped opened when he felt the covers being pulled down.
Miguel was on his side, facing them, propped up on one elbow. He’d lowered the covers in order to have a better view.
Finn gripped Layla’s hip, pulling her toward him, over and over. After a few minutes, Miguel reached down, his fingers toying with Layla’s clit. Then they drifted lower, lightly caressing Finn’s cock as he shifted inside her.
Miguel had been more awake, more cognizant of what was going on because he’d been the one to point out they’d forgotten a condom. Finn had started to withdraw, but Layla stopped him, told them she was on birth control, that she didn’t want anything between them.
After that, Finn was a goner. He took what she offered, making love to her, wishing—hoping—she could see what she meant to him. They came together.
Then he’d withdrawn and watched as Miguel moved over her, parted her legs and made love to her as well.
They’d fallen asleep in a tangle of limbs, none of them rousing until late this morning.
That was when the bottom fell out.
Layla had been fully dressed and sitting on the side of the bed when he and Miguel woke. She’d thanked them for the best week of her life.
Finn had wanted to beg her for more time, wanted to plead with her to stay, but he didn’t.
He couldn’t. Because of Miguel.
Like idiots, they hadn’t discussed what would happen when the week ended. They’d been driven by their dicks.
Miguel hadn’t tried to stop her either.
Instead, they’d kissed her goodbye, then Miguel had gotten up to shower for work.
Finn had dressed, yelled into the bathroom to tell Miguel he’d see him later and headed back to the Collins Dorm, fighting like mad not to break down and cry like a baby the whole way home.
“Padraig is threatening to charge you rent if you hog this table much longer.”
Finn looked up and forced a grin as Colm sat down. “I’m a paying customer.”
“Shit, seriously? I never pay for my drinks here,” Colm joked. “What gives? Paddy says you’ve been nursing the same Guinness for two hours.” To confirm that fact, Colm reached out and touched his glass. “Jesus. It’s warm.” He raised his hand to capture his twin brother’s attention behind the bar. “Two more beers over here, Paddy. Put them on my tab,” he added with a laugh.
Padraig came over with three beers and claimed the opposite side of the booth. “Oliver said he’d cover the bar for a few minutes. Pretty nice having that kid here and of age finally. Plan to take advantage of that more. I miss too many conversations that you bozos refuse to have at the bar. Thinking of taking the booths and tables out of the pub completely so I stop missing all the good gossip.”
“You’re getting as nosy as Pop Pop,” Finn said.
“If that’s meant to be an insult, you missed the mark.” Padraig loved being likened to their beloved grandfather, took any and all comparisons as compliments. Then he glanced over his shoulder and grinned. “Emmy is going to be pissed that we’ve moved out of earshot.”
Colm rolled his eyes. “Just ask her out already, Paddy. You’re into her, and she’s into you.”
Padraig sobered and shook his head. “No. I’m not…I don’t think…I’m not looking to date anyone.”
Finn nodded in understanding, while Colm simply looked sad. Mia had been gone two years, and Padraig had given no indication that he’d ever be ready. Sometimes it felt as if Padraig had died with her, and Finn knew it worried the hell out of his brother.
“You’re not looking to date anyone yet,” Colm amended, proving he didn’t intend to give up on pressing the issue.
Padraig shrugged, letting his determined twin have the last word. “My love life isn’t in question at the moment. It’s Finn’s.”
“What makes you think anything’s wrong with my love life?”
Padraig took a sip of his Guinness, then lowered the glass. “The last time we talked, you were mooning over Layla. And I have it on very good authority, you haven’t spent a single night in your bed this week.”
“Let me guess,” Finn said, looking at Colm. “You’re th
e good authority.”
Colm nodded, not bothering to feign the slightest bit of regret. “Yup.”
“Snitches get stitches,” Finn joked.
“So, I have deducted,” Colm said, in his best lawyer voice, “that you’ve been shacking up with the pretty Ms. Moretti.”
Colm wasn’t wrong, but he only had half the facts. Finn leaned back and debated whether or not to come clean about all of it.
Fuck it. His cousins were like brothers to him, and he needed advice.
“Not just LJ.”
Apparently, his depression wasn’t so deep that he couldn’t enjoy the matching looks of surprise on Colm’s and Padraig’s faces.
Padraig was the first to put two and two together, and his smile grew. “Miguel.”
Finn nodded.
“About time. Just tell me you did it right,” Colm said, leaning closer. “Tell me the two of you didn’t take the coward’s way out and pretend you were only there for Layla.”
“We didn’t.”
“So you and Miguel…” Colm prodded with a wicked grin.
Finn rolled his eyes. “I’m not giving you the details.”
Colm laughed and slapped Finn on the shoulder. “Don’t need them. Just glad to hear there are some details to be had.”
The weight that had been pressing on Finn’s chest since this morning lifted a little. Not a lot, but there’d been a part of him—a foolish part—that had sort of worried how his family would take the news that he and Miguel were sleeping together. He should have—and had—expected this reaction. After all, their uncles, Sean and Chad, had been together for decades, the two men lovers, married to each other and Aunt Lauren.
Besides, it wasn’t as if he and Miguel had hidden their feelings particularly well. Even Pop Pop had noticed the sexual undercurrents flowing between them.
“So, the three of you spent the past week together. Sounds pretty perfect considering you have feelings for both of them.” Padraig always saw right to the heart of things. “Unless…let me guess…Layla is finished sowing her wild oats with the two of you.”
Finn couldn’t bring himself to admit that truth. Because he couldn’t accept it.
“Wild oats?” Colm asked.
Mercifully, Padraig took up the explanation. Finn’s throat was suddenly constricted as he considered perhaps Layla really was moving on from them. “Layla just got out of a long relationship. She’s resistant to hopping into another. Apparently, she moved to Baltimore for a fresh start that includes casual sex and one-night stands.”
“You lucky son of a bitch,” Colm, the eternal bachelor, mused. “Why can’t I ever meet women like that? Last two women I took out were ready to go ring shopping three dates in.”
“I’m living for the day love bites you in the ass,” Padraig said, the comment one Finn had heard countless times over the years, before turning his attention back to Finn. “Thought I’d suggested that you convince her otherwise.”
“You did. It’s just…”
Colm frowned. “Miguel doesn’t want to share?”
“I don’t know.”
Padraig had been about to take another sip of beer, but he lowered his pint glass. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean I didn’t ask what he wanted.”
“Why not?” Colm asked.
Finn found everything that had been eating him alive over the past week falling out. “Because I’ve only just come clean about my feelings for Miguel. To him and myself. Because I’ve hurt him these past couple of months, pushing him away because I couldn’t face what was happening between us. Because I’m in love with him. Don’t I owe it to him to try to make this thing between us work…with just us?”
“I’d say yes,” Padraig began, “if not for the other half of the story. You’re in love with someone else too.”
“Someone who’s not looking for love.”
“That hardly changes your feelings for her,” Colm pointed out. “And it doesn’t explain why you wouldn’t tell Miguel you love her.”
“We didn’t intend for this affair to last long. In fact, Miguel was the one who set the time limit. One week. He only asked for one week.”
“And that ended today?” Padraig asked.
Finn nodded miserably. “LJ held us to it. Said goodbye this morning, and Miguel didn’t argue. So I let her go. I didn’t stop her because…”
Padraig sighed. “Because you don’t want to hurt Miguel if he doesn’t feel the same way you do.”
“I’ve hurt him enough.”
Colm placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “That hardly matters at this point. Because now you’re hurting. What do you want from this, Finn? Choose your best-case scenario. How do you want this to play out?”
The answer flew out in an instant. Finn didn’t even have to think about it. “I want them both. Forever.”
Colm laughed. “You always were a greedy bastard.”
“Then make it happen.” Padraig acted as if achieving that goal was the easiest thing on the planet.
“Paddy—” Finn started.
“You’ve got Collins blood running through your veins. Trust me. There’s nothing we can’t do once we’ve set our minds to it. If you love both of them, find a way. We’ve all seen firsthand that three can love and live happily ever after as easily as two. Don’t give up without trying.”
Finn smiled…and felt the first ray of hope emerge since watching Layla walk away from him and Miguel this morning.
“That was a hell of a pep talk,” he said to Padraig.
“Call Miguel. Start there,” Padraig said.
“He’s working tonight. The robbery case is really kicking his ass, and I don’t want to distract him. Besides, this is a conversation we need to have in person. I’ll go see him first thing in the morning.”
Padraig patted his hand and stood up, glancing toward the bar. “Better get back to work. Emmy and Ollie—oh, and Pop Pop—will be chomping at the bit for details.”
Finn turned his attention to the bar and, sure enough, he spotted Pop Pop—who’d just arrived—as well as Emmy and Oliver, all looking at them. The three of them turned their heads away quickly when they saw Finn looking, and he laughed.
Padraig returned to the bar.
Finn shook his head. “Something tells me Pop Pop, Paddy and Emmy are not going to be a good influence on Oliver.”
Colm considered that. “Always figured it would be you and me working together, trying to save the boy.”
“What do you mean?” Finn asked.
“Not going to lie,” Colm said, “I thought you and I had the best shot at dodging the curse. Turns out it got you twice. Fucking thing is tenacious.”
“Comforting, Colm,” Finn said sarcastically. “Very comforting. You realize no part of my future is solid, and if things don’t work out…”
Colm chuckled. “They’ll work out. On top of being greedy, you’re a stubborn bastard. I figure you get that from your mom. Aunt Riley has never heard the word no.”
Finn couldn’t help but laugh as well. His family was the best when it came to cheering him up.
“Hey, guys,” Darcy said, approaching the table. “What’s shakin’?”
“What are you all dressed up for? Got a hot date?” Colm asked.
Darcy shook her head. “Something even better. Girls’ night out. Meeting Kelli and Layla downtown. Three single ladies on the prowl.”
Finn scowled at his little sister, ready to tell her she wasn’t going anywhere, then he forced himself to calm down. Darcy didn’t know about his feelings for Layla. As far as she knew, the two of them were still hanging out in the friend zone, so it wasn’t like she realized what her plans were doing to him at the moment.
Colm nudged him under the table with his knee.
“Not sure I like you hanging out with Kelli. She’s a bad influence,” Colm said, trying to distract Finn.
Darcy laughed. “Bullshit. She’s the best kind of influence, and you know it.
”
Colm and Kelli had some sort of love/hate relationship that no one in the family understood. Basically, they loved to hate each other and constantly gave each other shit.
“Where are you going?” Finn asked, trying and failing to sound nonchalant.
Darcy shrugged. “No idea. The plan is to barhop until we drop. Or at least that was what Layla said when she called to invite me.”
“This was LJ’s idea?” This time Finn completely showed his hand, unable to hide his anger.
Darcy tilted her head as she studied his face. “Um…yeah? Did something happen between you two?”
Finn shook his head, then rubbed his forehead wearily. Layla hadn’t wasted any time moving on. He took a deep breath and somehow managed to control his features. “No,” he lied.
“You okay, Finn?” Darcy asked.
“Yeah. I’m great.” He was working overtime to sound like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“Okay. Are you sure?” she asked again, because his astute sister wasn’t buying his lies.
He nodded.
Darcy didn’t believe him, but mercifully she didn’t keep questioning him either. Mainly because she had other tricks up her sleeve. “Well, I guess I’ll head out. Don’t wait up. We’re probably going to get back super late. If we even come home at all,” she said with a mischievous smile.
She was testing him, waiting to see if he lost his shit. Typical of his kid sisters. Darcy, the baby of the family, had studied under Sunnie, so she’d learned from the master. She knew something was up, and since he wasn’t coming clean, she was trying to provoke a response.
Colm’s knee nudged him under the table again, silently telling him to hold it together.
“I have you on Find My Friends, Darc. I’m perfectly capable of keeping an eye on you.” Finn had been following his sisters on the app for years. In this day and age—with sex trafficking and catfishing on online dating sites, he and their dad had convinced them it was smart to allow Finn to track them on their phones. Finn had promised to never use the app against them, and he never had. Tonight, he wasn’t so sure he’d be able to resist.
“I could always unshare my location,” she taunted.
