She turns her lips into my hand, kissing me softly on the palm. “I’m excited!”
The truth is so am I. I love you, Kels. Even if I can’t say it out loud yet, I’ll tell her every day in my mind.
Thirty
Nick
As I pull my patrol car up to the house, I glance down at the time. This is my first day back on duty, and I know there’s something I have to do. This house? It’s held me back in so many ways. Each time I would move forward, it would pull me back, not allowing me to be the man I wanted to be.
Getting out, I slowly walk up to the front door, knocking twice before stepping back and waiting for someone to answer. When a woman with a small baby in her arms comes to the door, I give her my best smile.
“Hi, I’m Nick…”
“Cooper,” she finishes. “You used to live here. I’m Colleen, I used to live over there.” She points to another house farther down the block.
I vaguely remember her riding her bike with me when she was younger. “I remember.”
“Yeah.” She smiles this time a little sad. “My son and I, we moved here after he was born. Divorce,” she says quietly.
“I’m not here to judge anyone, I was just wondering if I could look at my old room.”
Anyone else except her would probably question my sanity, but she gets it. Stepping back from the door, she sweeps her arm out to the side. “Be my guest. There’s not much in it now.”
“No big deal.”
As I approach the room where I spent some of my worst days, my palms sweat, my heart feels like it’s about to beat out of my chest. But I know I have to let this house, this past go before I ask Kels to marry me. When I get to the door, I stop, closing my eyes. I can hear all my mom’s old boyfriends and my stepdad screaming at me, telling me I’m not their kid so they don’t have to worry about me.
Pushing the door open, it’s like I’m taken back to another lifetime. There’s still a chip in the plaster where my head hit it one night when my stepdad and I got into argument. There’s a hole behind the door, where he shoved it open so forcefully it swung into the wall.
There’s still a stain on the carpet where I pissed in fear. There’s another stain where I lay, with my lip bleeding, hoping someone would take me away from here.
I would pray and bargain and pray again that someone would take me away and show me what real love was. Funny thing is I kept myself from believing it for all these years, because I’ve been scared of it. I’ve been scared of the one thing I wanted.
For so many years, love for me equaled hurt, and for me to fully accept the love that others want to give me, I know I’ve got to put teenage Nick to bed. He’s got to be able to forgive not only the people who kicked his ass, but himself.
“You were just a kid,” I tell myself. “You didn’t know how to get out of the situation you were dropped into. It’s time, time that you forget all the bullshit and live the happy life you have now. It’s okay to let it all go.”
Closing my eyes, I let all the memories flow through me, and surprisingly there’s new ones. My mom bandaging up my knee as a kid, kissing the bandage, back when she looked healthy, before she went downhill. Us eating dinner together, laughing as we had ice cream sundaes. In that moment, I realize my mom wasn’t a bad woman, she didn’t know how to process her feelings, how to accept disappointment, love, anything. And if I don’t change, if I don’t break the cycle, I’ll be right back in the place I’ve been for most of my life.
Taking a deep breath, I touch the wall, the one that had closed me in so tightly.
“I forgive you.”
I whisper those words, chanting them until I feel it. In this room, Nick Cooper will die, and Nick Kepler will be the man he’s always supposed to be. Because the Kepler last name? It breaks cycles.
As I leave a little later, I do so with a smile on my face and a lightness in my heart.
Epilogue One
Kelsea
“What are we doing out here?”
We’re in the truck, enjoying some time to ourselves. I thought we were going to breakfast, but he’s driving to his shop, it looks like. My gaze lingers on the console, where our fingers are entwined. It’s easy with him now, which I never thought it would be. Almost losing the love of your life does that. It makes you see things in a different light, encourages you to quit setting the small shit and forces you to appreciate the little moments. Our little moments are my favorite.
“I have to grab something I made for the baby.” He carefully puts the tires of the truck into the ruts that have been made.
“When are you guys going to get some blacktop out here? It’s crazy how much time all y’all spend out here, but you don’t fix the road.”
He lets go of my hand, shoving the truck into four-wheel-drive and grins as he guns it, to get over a mountain of mud. “Maybe we like to drive it without blacktop.”
He’s got this grin. It’s what I call his little boy grin. Before eight months ago, I’d never seen it. Never would’ve dreamed he would be so carefree, but this man of mine – he’s learned to enjoy life. Maybe I’ve had a little bit of an influence on him, and Darren? He’s had an even bigger influence on him.
We learned two days ago we’ll be able to officially adopt him at the beginning of the year. As a family, we are more excited than we can explain. We’re planning on purchasing a house and giving Darren the life he should have been living all along. As soon as those papers go through, his last name will be Kepler. Even though mine won’t be, I’ll still be listed as his mother, and that’s okay with me.
“Here we go,” he announces as we pull up to the shop. “Wanna get out with me?”
“You mean I’m allowed to go into your mancave?” I tease him, giggling when he makes a face. Glancing up at the sky, I see clouds rolling in. “Looks like it’s gonna rain.”
“We should be out of here before the rain rolls in.” He grabs my hand, leading me to the entrance.
There’s something sexy about watching the man who loves me, do things with authority, and damned if he doesn’t unlock this door with authority. “After you.” He motions.
When I go in, I’m assaulted with the scent of fresh pine and the lacquer he puts on some pieces. In the corner, there’s a shelf of handmade wooden toys. “These are beautiful.”
“They’re for the big Christmas drive we’re having this year. I made one for every kid with an angel on the tree.” He shuffles his feet.
“God, I love you.” I cross the room, putting my arms around him. “You have such a great heart.”
“Only because you allowed me to find it.” He leans down, kissing me softly on the lips.
Walking across the shop, he grabs a wooden sign. “If I show you this, I’ll have to kill you.” He jokes. “It’s got the baby’s name on it.”
“Are you kidding me? You know the sex?” Ransom and Stella found out, but they refuse to tell anyone else.
“Unfortunately no, they picked a fuckin’ unisex name. Keegan N. Thompson.”
“Assholes,” I hiss. “Could be Nickolas or Nicole.”
“Exactly, they suck,” he agrees. “C’mon, let’s get this stuff into the truck and we can be on our way. I’ll drop this off to them when we go pick up Darren.”
“Sounds good to me.”
We walk outside as the first drops begin to fall. He goes to the covered bed, storing the wooden sign there, to keep it from getting wet. “Nick, open the door!” I yell as I try the passenger side but it’s locked up tight.
He doesn’t hear, and I can’t see him around the back. “Nick,” I try again.
That’s when the covered bed closes and he walks toward me. “You can just click the locks.”
He smiles, the slightly crooked, sexy smile that he does for me and me alone now. “No I can’t just click the locks.”
“Why not?” I swallow roughly as he gets to where I am.
We’re standing in the rain, buckets pouring over us as we stare at one anoth
er. His hand goes to my cheek, threading his fingers through my hair. “Because, I remember you saying something to me once about the rain.”
I wrack my brain, trying to remember what I said. It hits me like a ton of bricks. He must notice a change in my face, because he nods his head slowly before dropping to a knee.
“You told me once that you thought the perfect proposal would be in the rain.” Both of us are shaking as he takes hold of my hand. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately – what my life is like now, how you’ve made such positive changes in it, how you helped me when I got shot, and most of all how you love me, and in turn allow me to love you.”
“Nick,” I whisper.
“So I planned this, hoping the weather would cooperate.” He looks up the sky. “And it did. I know how important it is to you have thought-out gifts, and I want you to know I’ve worked on this and thought about it a lot over the past few months. Kelsea Harrison, will you marry me?”
My heart is pounding against my chest, and I fear I’ll hyperventilate. All of a sudden, I realize I’m just staring at him like an idiot. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” I answer.
It’s then I notice he’s holding a wooden box in his hand. “Did you make this?”
“I did,” he confirms as he gives it to me.
Rolling it around in my fingers, I see he’s carved little parts of our life together on there. There are little symbols of what’s come to be our love. The way we like to cook together, watch TV with Darren, and the quiet nights we like to spend as a family. There are flowers, which is what I love to do, and I see an American flag with a thin blue line on it, his interest being represented. “Can I open it?”
“It’s yours, babe. It and my heart are yours, Kelsea. I love you so deeply, so damn strongly, some days I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“The feeling is mutual, I love you too.” I bend down, kissing him softly against his lips.
With shaking hands of my own, I open the box, gasping when I see a sapphire and diamond ring twinkling back at me. “It was my grandmother’s,” he says softly. “She gave it to me not long ago, saying she was happy when I came into the family because she would have someone to pass it down to. Tank and Blaze aren’t sticklers for history, but you Kels, you know what this shit means.”
“They were married for sixty years before your grandpa died.” I cry harder. “This ring knew a lot of love.”
“It did, babe, and it’ll know a lifetime more.”
“I’ll pass it on to Darren.” I wipe at my eyes. “Put it on me, please.”
He slides it quickly onto my finger. It fits perfectly.
“We’re going to have an amazing life, Kels. I promise. I love you so much it scares the fuck outta me.”
Throwing my arms around his waist, I bury my head in his chest, letting the rain wash my tears away. “I believe you, Nick. I’ve always believed you. I love you too.”
With those words, he picks me up, spinning me around, both of us laughing. For a girl whose had some pretty amazing moments in her life – this one? It’s completely perfect.
Epilogue Two
Kelsea
“C’mon you two, we’re running late,” I yell through the apartment as I throw open the closet door, looking for my flats. If we need to run to make it on time, at least I’ll have proper footwear.
“Dad, I don’t know how to tie my tie!”
It still gets me, hearing him call us Mom and Dad, today, all of that becomes official.
“Be there in just a second,” Nick yells back as he stands up from the bed, tucking his button-down into his slacks. “I can’t believe we overslept.”
“It’s not our fault the power went out, and it knocked out the cell phone service too,” I grab a tube of gloss, putting it on my lips as I run a brush through my hair.
“Okay, so for the tie,” Nick looks at Darren. “That’s something we’ll get your grandpa to do, D-man, I still can’t tie my own tie.”
The quiet in the room is deafening before we all bust out in nervous laughter. “Let’s go,” I point towards the door. “Everyone’s gonna meet us there.”
We’re quiet as we make our way to the Laurel Springs courthouse. All of us lost in our own thoughts about what today means. As we approach, I see the fleet of vehicles that’s shown up for us.
“Who is all of that?” Darren asks from the backseat.
Nick turns, a boyish grin on his face. “That’s your family, D. That’s our family.”
I’m overcome with emotion as I see everyone who means the world to us. Parents, friends, other family. Karsyn is there, hanging back from Tucker, but knowing they aren’t really speaking to one another right now, I’m so thankful that they both showed up.
Nick parks, before we all hop out.
“We need tie help,” Darren yells immediately.
“That’s all on you,” my dad looks to Ryan. “I’ve never been able to do it.”
Ryan kneels with emotion on his face. I don’t hear what they say, but I take a picture with my phone because I want this memory to last forever, even as it fades. He hugs Darren, then stands up to help Nick. They joke and laugh as they get the job done.
This side of Nick I’ve seen in the last few months, is one I never thought I’d see. He smiles, he laughs, he makes jokes. The two of us grin at one another as the whole group starts walking towards the courthouse.
Today is going to be the day that we become a family.
Nick
I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous in my life, except maybe when I proposed to Kels. We got married a week ago, eloped right here at the courthouse so that we could all have the same last name. That’s gonna be a surprise for everyone too. Ransom, Stelle, and D-man were our witnesses.
When we walk into the courtroom, we’re greeted with decorations and a cake congratulating us on becoming a family. I’m hit with emotion I haven’t felt since I was adopted.
“You ready?” I grip Darren’s shoulders as he stands in front of me.
“I’ve never been so ready.”
To be honest, I don’t hear most of what’s being said, the only thing I hear are the words that matter.
“Darren Metcalfe, do you agree to the adoption, and your name changing to Darren Kepler?”
“Yes!” He screams so loudly it causes a flurry of noise.
We’re called to the front, to sign our names. “Congratulations to Nickolas, Kelsea, and Darren Kepler, you’re now a family.”
“Her last name is Harrison,” Caleb coughs.
We grin at one another. “No it’s not,” she shakes her head. “We got married last week.”
The noise is deafening, and there’s someone trying to get our picture.
“Can I get one of the family?”
“If you want one of the family, you’ll have to fit us all in,” I tell him loudly. “C’mon y’all!”
One by one I see them walk up. Ransom, Cutter, Stella, Rambo, Leigh, Havoc, Mom, Dad, Ace, Violet, Tank, Blaze, Caleb, Ruby, Molly, Levi, Menace, Karina, Tucker, Karsyn, Dr. Patterson, everyone who means anything to us is here.
“Okay, say family.”
I grab the hand of my wife, put my own hand on the shoulder of my son, and say the word that’s gotten me from where I was to where I am today. “Family!”
The End
Thank You!
Thank you so much for reading “Suppression”! If this was your first book mine, I would love it if you would look the others up. The Heaven Hill Series and Moonshine Task Force are reader favorites!
* * *
If there was a part you loved of “Suppression”, please don’t hesitate to leave a review and let other readers know!
* * *
Also, if you do leave a review, please email me with the link so that I can say a personal ‘thank you’!!! They mean a lot, and I want to let you know I appreciate you taking the time out of your day!
* * *
Email Me
* * *
&
nbsp; Also, if you find an error, know that it has slipped through no less than four sets of eyes, and it is a mistake. Please let me know, if you find one, and if I agree it’s an error. It will be changed. Thank you!
* * *
Report an error
Connect
Connect with Laramie:
* * *
Website: http://www.laramiebriscoe.net
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorLaramieBriscoe
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LaramieBriscoe
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/laramiebriscoe/
Instagram: http://instagram.com/laramie_briscoe
Mailing List: sitel.ink/LBList
Email: [email protected]
Suppression: Laurel Springs Emergency Response Team #2 Page 15
