by Amity Cross
He shoved my knickers down as I pushed his jeans and boxers over his hips. I wanted to touch him, to tease my tongue over his body, but he turned me around and lifted me into his arms, coaxing my legs around his waist. I opened up to him, feeling his cock against my pussy as he strode from the bathroom.
Where was he taking me? I’d hoped he’d fuck me against the wall or on the basin, but he stopped at the side of the bed and I mewled in his arms in protest.
I fell back onto the mattress and he climbed over me, covering my body with his. Lips brushed against the swell of my breasts and I was taken aback by how gentle his touch was.
I shoved my hands into his hair and forced his head up. I needed to feel the sting as his hands dug into my skin, I needed to feel the pain of his teeth against my breast, but X’s eyes fixed on mine and he shook his head.
“I want to try something,” he whispered, sliding his hand along my leg and forcing me around his waist.
He began licking softly at my neck, kissing a trail toward my breasts and I didn’t understand where this was coming from. He pulled a nipple into his mouth and sucked before teasing with his tongue and teeth. He didn’t bite or try and draw blood, he was attentive and…tender.
“X,” I moaned, fisting my hands back into his hair as my body began to heat under his.
“Shh,” he crooned, his breath hot against my breasts. “I want to savor you. I’ve never stopped to look…” He trailed off before grinding his crotch against mine.
I arched my back off the bed, forcing my breasts against his mouth, moaning as my clit flared to life. I loved fucking hard with X, I loved the way he pounded into me, I delighted in the delicious soreness I felt afterwards…this was alien, but oh so fucking good.
His cock was hot and hard against my stomach, sliding back along my clit as his hips worked back and forth, teasing, driving me mad.
“I think I like this,” he murmured, moving his mouth back to mine. “I think I like this control.”
“Of course you do,” I gasped, thrusting my hips upward. “You’re a control freak who can’t cut hair.”
X’s lips curved into a grin and he pulled back, guiding his cock to my entrance. “Your hair doesn’t matter,” he said, his lips brushing against mine.
“So, you want me for my pussy?”
“And your ass.”
I moaned as his cock slid just inside me and as my lips parted, he plunged his tongue into my mouth and kissed me long and slow, exploring like it was the first time he’d tasted me. What was his game?
I lost the thought as he finally pushed into me, his cock sliding home, and he held, swirling his hips. He drove deeper, massaging my clit as I clung to him, trying to absorb all the sensations he was inflicting upon me. It was another kind of unbearable.
He stroked slowly, pulling all the way out to his crown, before filling me again and again. I could feel the pleasure burning through my skin, my temperature rising with each thrust, my breathing accelerating.
X fixed his green eyes on mine and I remembered a time where he’d do whatever it took not to connect with me during sex. The first few times he’d taken me were from behind where he could force my gaze away, but now he sought it out. Now he understood that we were together, it wasn’t just him anymore. He wasn’t alone.
He said he thought he could love me and that was worth more than all the money and riches in the world. For a man who was unable…I clung to it with all my strength.
His pace increased, each thrust colliding with my clit and sending sparks igniting across my entire body. I rose higher and higher, my cries becoming more fevered. He saw the plea in my eyes and pounded into me, harder and harder.
I came suddenly, coming apart and soaring. I tightened around X’s cock as he stroked, pushing me further and further, until he joined me, spilling hot inside my core.
His gaze never left mine. He let me see all of him, and I let him see all of me.
In this, at least, we were equals.
When he was spent, he collapsed next to me, wrapping his arms around my sweaty body. His fingers stroked through my hair and I shivered as he stopped short. I missed his hands on my back. It was more than just a bit of hair and I wasn’t sure how to explain it.
“What’s wrong?” X asked, his thumb brushing across my lips.
“I feel like I’ve lost the last part of myself,” I whispered. “The last part of Alison.”
He pulled me closer.
“I thought I’d given away the last part of her the moment I became Mercy Reid,” I went on. “But she was always there under the surface.”
“You won’t fade away, Mercy,” X whispered. “You’ll still be there.”
“How do you separate yourself?” I asked. “You tell me I’m too emotional and I’ve been trying…”
“I compartmentalize,” he said. “I close off the parts of myself that I don’t want touched by what I do.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“You’ve already been doing it,” he whispered. “Living a double life right underneath Royal Blood’s nose.” He sighed. “Under mine.”
“I didn’t know who you were until the night you found me.” I’d been packing my stuff, preparing to run, I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do, when X had come to find his mark.
X grunted.
“So much has happened…” I trailed off.
“Taking on an alias is much the same as what you’ve been doing,” X said, thankfully steering the conversation back on track. “You should know this.”
“I don’t think it’s an alias,” I replied. “I am Mercy and when this is over I will still be Mercy. That’s the difference. It’s just how much of Mercy versus the nothing that I fear this thing will leave behind…” I sighed before swallowing hard, thankful that X couldn’t see my face. “I fear that I’ll be nothing.”
“You won’t,” he replied. “I won’t let you.”
I realized that we’d been on the same page since we arrived at the cottage. He was trying to help me with my revenge, but he was also trying to keep me myself. How hadn’t I seen it until now?
Because I’d been too focused on killing the man who destroyed me.
“You should sleep,” X said. “We’ve got a long way to go tomorrow night and I’m not sure when we’ll get the chance to rest.”
“What about you?” I asked when he went to move.
He glanced at me nervously. He hadn’t slept with me since the night he’d come back from his first meeting with Vaughn and I could see that it still bothered him.
“You’ve changed so much,” I whispered. “Stay. Please.”
X acquiesced with a sigh, settling back into the bed. I nestled my back against his chest and his arms circled my waist, holding me against him.
Closing my eyes, I drifted off to sleep, my body content, and ironically feeling the safest I’d ever felt.
Chapter 14
X
Mercy had asked me if I could love her.
I told her I could, I might, I thought I did. I still didn’t understand what it was.
It was a fucking dangerous thought. If I cared about her that much, they’d use her to get to me. She’d become collateral damage.
I thought about Vaughn and Lorelei and the depraved things they’d done to her before finally ending her life. The thought of the same thing happening to Mercy...
Rage. I felt it burning through my nerve endings at the thought of her suffering.
I wondered if that meant that I was, in fact, in love with Mercy Reid.
Chapter 15
Mercy
Yeah, so I was in love with X.
It was a bit bloody obvious, but I was still afraid of telling him. He was smart enough to get it, but hadn’t uttered a word.
We drove through the night to get to the outskirts of Portsmouth, dressed in our blackest clothing, our toughest boots, and I’d remembered to pack my steeliest resolve. X said he had a place where we would be stashing
his car. He said he could get a new one no problems, but it was best to be prepared if we came back this way. The place he knew was an old rundown shed on a property that looked much the same. He knew a guy who knew a guy who kept his mouth shut for cash.
X got out of the car and opened the shed, the scrape of the metal against the graveled ground sounding far too loud for my liking. I glanced around us, but the yard was empty. A moment later, he slid back in and drove into the shed, killing the engine. Money spoke volumes apparently.
I hugged my leather jacket closer. Now that we were here, things were starting to get real. Back at the cottage I felt safe, isolated and removed from the consequences of the last few months. Out here? Things were unpredictable and that’s what unsettled me the most.
I glanced at my reflection in the passenger side window and grimaced. I wore a black beanie and my hair stuck out oddly around my ears. I didn’t want to wear it and I thought I had to for incognito reasons, but X’s explanation? It was cold out on the water. Wrong again.
X leaned over and pulled a torch from the glove box in front of me as I undid my seatbelt.
Popping the boot, X slid out of the car and I followed suit. He was pulling a gun out of the black bag he’d stashed there earlier, then he produced a long knife in a sheath that he stuck down the side of his combat boot.
“Here.” X handed me the six-millimeter pistol I’d been practicing with for the past few weeks.
I grasped it in my hand and hesitated. I’d never wandered around armed before and it felt odd. The last time was the night of my failed attempt on Sykes’ life. It didn’t feel like it was a good idea, at least not until it was absolutely necessary.
X frowned at my reaction. “Just in case.” He took the gun from me, double checked the safety and stepped against me, shoving the gun down the back of my jeans. He smoothed down my jacket, covering the firearm.
“What if it goes off when I sit down?” I asked, knowing full well that it wouldn’t.
“Mercy,” X murmured. “We’ve been training for this. We’ll be together. There’s no need to be worried.”
He pressed his lips against the top of my head before turning back to the boot. He produced another knife and bent down and slid it down the side of my right boot.
I knew he was arming us as a fail safe. If Vaughn was going to betray us and have his men dump our bodies into the English Channel, he wanted a way to fight back. It took a lot for X to trust and in this it was no different.
X closed the boot and we walked out of the shed and into the night. I took one last look at the car as he closed the doors and fastened a chain and padlock through the handles. At least he had the forethought to plan for our return. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. We could get arrested, captured, killed… The bit that happened after I put a bullet in Sykes’ head hadn’t crossed my mind at all.
We made our way through the rocks and low-lying scrub towards the beach, the salty tang in the air becoming stronger as we approached. Waves breaking on the sand below was the only sound in the night other than our footsteps. The water was out of view here, we wouldn’t see the shore until we climbed the bluff, but I found myself eager to see it. My heartbeat sped up as we walked, my gaze fixed on the horizon.
As we broke the rise, I gasped. The moon hung low over the water, three quarters full, shining silver over the scene below. The sky was clear, stars twinkled and for a moment I felt infinite.
X stopped in front of me, pressing me back against the rock. Below on the shore was a man-shaped shadow and a small motorboat. That must be the man who was taking us to our ride. I glanced out over the water and caught sight of a larger fishing trawler much further out, lights twinkling from the deck.
X bade me to wait then held the torch up and flicked it on and off in irregular intervals. A moment later, an answering flash came from the shadow on the beach.
“He’s our man,” X murmured. He held his hand out to me. “Are you ready?”
I slid my hand into his and nodded. “Let’s do this thing.”
We made our way down the shore, sliding ungracefully in the sand and I was grateful that it wasn’t a pebble beach. Rocks were harder to walk on, and slippery. X didn’t take his eyes off the path ahead, though he kept hold of my hand as I stumbled ungracefully behind him.
The shadow man nodded at our approach and gestured for me to get in the boat. I climbed in at X’s gentle shove and X helped the man push it out into the shallows. Their boots splashed in the water and I was floating, buffeted about by the waves. As the men leapt into the boat beside me, it pitched to one side and I grasped the bench below me to steady myself.
The man cranked the motor, then we were turning and flying across the water towards the trawler. X sat next to me, his leg jammed against mine and I was suddenly grateful for the stupid beanie. The wind was icy, the spray from the water coating everything, setting a deep chill into my bones. I should’ve worn an extra layer after all.
It wasn’t long before the motorboat tapped against the side of the trawler and a rope ladder was flung down from above, the end almost collecting me and throwing me back into the water. With a curse, I grasped the end and began climbing.
I’d almost reached the top when a hand grasped my wrist and hauled me the rest of the way, hard calluses scratching against my skin. I half fell, half stumbled onto the deck and steadied myself as the boat pitched slightly. A rough, unwashed looking man in a pair of dirty yellow coveralls grinned at me. He had one tooth missing from the front, which made him look rougher than he ought to.
X appeared beside me and glared at the fisherman. “You’re McLewen?”
“Aye. Th' one an' th' same.” His accent was thick Scottish, his voice low and gravelly like he’d ingested too much seawater. He glanced at me before tipping his head slightly. “We’ll git ye across th' Channel in nae time. Waters ur quiet tonight an' if anythin' approaches we’ll see.”
“Good,” X barked and grabbed my arm. “How long until we arrive?”
“Th’ Channel be wide here. ‘Bout three hoors. Make yourselves comfortable.” He waved absently at us and turned to attend to his duties.
I raised my eyebrows. He was pleasant enough, although brisk.
X jerked on my arm and led me across the deck to a secluded little alcove on the starboard side. I perched on the edge of a crate, gazing across the water. It shone with a million ripples of silver.
“Is he up to snuff?” I asked, kicking my legs over the side of the crate as the boat rolled against a wave. I was beginning to feel a little green.
“Yes.”
I rolled my eyes. “How do you know?”
X sat beside me, looking totally unfazed by the movement of the boat underneath him. “Training.”
“What about when we get to the cache?”
X shrugged. “We have to play it by ear.”
“Can we really trust he won’t betray us?” I asked.
“Vaughn has his own motives,” he replied. “As long as they don’t cross ours, we will be fine.”
“And if they do?”
X glanced at me before staring back out over the water. “Then we better get ready to fight.”
Part II
Written In Blood
I’ve got ice in my veins and blood in my heart.
Chapter 16
X
Out in the middle of the English Channel, the stars were bright.
Millions of silver spots in the black sky shone down on us, the hard glare of the moon reflecting off the water. I didn’t know why I found the stars so fascinating, but I couldn’t tear my gaze away.
Mercy shifted beside me, her hand grasping for mine as the trawler moved with the waves below. She was fearless with most obstacles, but one thing she didn’t have were sea legs. I wondered if she’d ever been on a boat before. I let her slide her palm against mine and after a moment, she and the sea settled down.
“Do you think there’s someone else out there?” she asked.
“On the water?” I asked. “No. McLewen will tell us.”
“No, I meant out there.” She pointed up at the sky.
I frowned, turning my attention back to the sky.
“It’s just that it’d be a waste of space, you know?”
I tightened my grip on her hand. “Are you up for this?”
She didn’t respond, the hum of the trawler’s motors and the hiss of the sea below the only sound that radiated between us. It was a big undertaking, we both knew this, but I supposed she was actually feeling it now that we were on the move.
“Did you feel like this before?” I asked, glancing at her.
Her gaze met mine and she shrugged. “Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“You know, you’re so bland sometimes—”
“Don’t,” I hissed. “It’s difficult, I understand that, but don’t turn this on me.”
“X,” she scolded.
My hackles were rising and maybe we were all on edge in our own way. “I find it ironic that you want me to talk about all the fucked up things I’ve done and you haven’t told me a single word about your failed hit on Sykes.”
She stiffened and pulled her hand away, tucking it around her stomach where I couldn’t reach.
I leaned closer to her. “Do you want to know why I don’t ask, Mercy?”
She shook her head, her gaze on her lap.
“Are you ashamed?” I went on. She shook her head, but I could see the truth in the way she held her body. “Don’t you think I’ve failed before?”
“Get fucked,” she hissed. “Of course you haven’t. You’re like some indestructible machine.”
