by Hatchett
“We haven’t asked since we moved her into the sunlight,” Paula said. “Here, let me get the pages re-arranged.”
Paula placed the pages in front of Jess on the bed as Di got her pen and notebook ready. Dr Raven stood behind Paula and watched with unbridled scepticism.
“Can you feel any more, Jess?” Paula asked.
Jess looked at the cards, blinking when Paula pointed to the correct ones.
“FEEL WARM.”
“That’s really good, Jess,” Paula commented.
“Can she move her fingers or toes?” Dr Raven asked with interest.
The answer was quick in coming, “NO.”
“I didn’t expect so,” Dr Raven commented. “I suspect she can’t feel the heat either, but she imagines she can. You all need to be careful that you don’t get carried away; Jess had been seriously injured and it’s a miracle that she is even awake, never mind moving or feeling anything. You’ve all got to realise that there is no real hope of her being able to do anything more than she can now. I hate to say it, but she will be confined to a bed, and at best a wheelchair, for the rest of her life. Of course, there will be times when she thinks she feels something. This is like the ‘phantom pain’ or ‘phantom limb’ phenomena that some people experience, such as amputees who feel pain in the part of the body which is no longer there. She’s bound to go through this, and it may well get worse, it’s often the brain remembering rather than a new stimulus.”
“She can hear and understand you, you know!” Di said sharply.
“Of course,” Dr Raven agreed, “and as I said, that is a miracle in itself, but please don’t expect more.” With that, he turned without waiting for any further dialogue and left the room.
“You’re right Jess, he is weird,” Di commented once the doctor had closed the door, still annoyed at his pessimistic attitude.
As they turned to look at Jess, she looked down at the pages, indicating she had more to say. After a few moments, Di read out the next words.
“SECRET. LOOK HAND.”
All four looked at Jess’s right hand, still resting on the bed in the sunlight. As they did so, Jess raised her index finger a centimetre or so off the bed. There were gasps and smiles all around as Di said, “See, so much for old clever bollocks out there!”
“Can you move any of the others?” John asked.
“NOT YET, KEEP SECRET.”
“Why secret, Jess?” Damian asked softly.
“DON’T TRUST HIM.”
“Ok, we won’t say anything for now,” Di replied to nods all around. “It’ll be our secret.”
“Where’ve you been all day, John?” Damian asked.
“Just investigating what technology might be available to help Jess, especially when she gets into the wheelchair,” he replied. “I’ve found out that you can operate the chair and speak through a device which tracks eye movement.”
“That’s interesting,” Damian replied, “but I bet it’s not cheap.”
“Don’t you worry about that,” John said. “In fact, I couldn’t help myself.” He walked over to where he had dropped a bag when he came into the room and retrieved it. He brought it back to the bed and pulled out an iPad-sized box. “I’ve been given this to try out. If it works then we’ll get Jess her own, although by the end of the week she may not need it if she keeps on improving.”
John opened the box and brought out a Tobii Dynavox ‘I-15+’, a flat screen portable speech generating device, which he proceeded to place onto the moving table top and arranged it so that it was directly in front of Jess’s face. “I won’t bore you with all the things this can do like access the internet et cetera, answer the phone, choose music, sort out your calendar….”
“You’re starting to bore us, John,” Paula interrupted.
“Right,” John agreed,” but the main thing is, it will allow Jess to ‘speak’ through the automated voice. Right, let’s get this calibrated.”
Within a few minutes the device was calibrated to Jess’s eye movement and John encouraged her to try it out, explaining to her every step of the way how it worked. The other three took their seats and watched on with interest. At last, John thought everything was ready and encouraged Jess to try it out.
“THIS IS GREAT, THANKS,” came the robotic voice from the inbuilt speaker.
“Well, I guess the pages are now redundant,” Paula commented as she picked up the loose pages, crumpled them into a ball and threw them over her shoulder.
“This is brilliant,” Di gushed. “Thank you, John, you’re so kind.”
“Least I could do,” John replied as Damian patted him on the shoulder. “At least we can now have a quicker and better conversation with Jess.”
“LOOK AT MY HAND,” came the automated voice again. They all looked. Jess slowly raised her index figure a centimetre as before, then did the same with her middle finger.
“Well done Jess!” Damian exclaimed. “Keep trying and we’ll prove that doctor wrong again.”
“MUST KEEP IT A SECRET. PROMISE.”
“We promise Jess,” Di confirmed.
“TIRED NOW. NEED SOME SLEEP.”
With that, Jess closed her eyes and the four of them in the room left her in peace and went to get a coffee and something to eat from the hospital cafeteria.
A few minutes after the Richardson’s and Barrington’s had left the room, Dr Raven entered and closed the door behind him. He stood in the corner of the room without moving and stared at Jess lying in the bed. He did not believe that she could feel anything, but there again, he never expected her to wake up. He decided that he would keep a close eye on this girl, and in the meantime, there were some of his own tests he wished to carry out. He withdrew a syringe from his coat pocket and approached the bed.
The Richardson’s and Barrington’s had chosen a sandwich and a drink each, which Damian insisted on paying for.
“The amount you have already spent on Jess, it’s the least I can do,” he stressed as John tried to pay.
They found themselves a table in the corner of the room where they could talk in private. It was like any other cafeteria; plastic tables and chairs screwed into the floor, tiled floor, white walls with fluorescent lighting. The only thing to break the monotony were a few children’s drawings and paintings blu-tacked to the wall, no doubt done by children in the hospital. Most were happy pictures; pictures of the child with their family in front of their house and the sun shining behind them, whilst others tried to depict different sporting events with the child centre of attention. Then there were a couple of sad pictures; those of the child lying in the bed surrounded by doctors and nurses or their family. What no one noticed was that the faces in some of these pictures had been scrawled out.
“Thank you so much for buying that machine,” Di said around a mouthful of ham sandwich.
“Think nothing of it,” John replied. “I’ve got no one to leave my money to anymore, so I might as well spend it. Anyway, I’m really enjoying trying to help Jess. It’s become like a mission for me.”
“This tastes crap,” Di added to no one in particular.
“That’s hospitals for you,” Paula noted. “Some of them now use outside caterers, but this obviously isn’t one of them. The coffee’s not much better, but at least its wet and hot!”
“So, what do you think of Jess’s progress?” Damian asked, determined to address the elephant in the room.
“I think it’s remarkable,” John replied. “She can hear, see, think and now she’s starting to move her fingers. Unbelievable, really. I just hope she continues to improve at this rate, although I suspect it won’t happen quite as we would like. I don’t think we should expect too much otherwise we may be disappointed, and Jess may pick up on it. We’ll just do the best we can for her.”
“Yes, but what about her fixation with that Dr Raven and her wanting to keep things secret,” Damian pressed, not willing to let the issue go.
There was silence around the table until Paul
a spoke.
“Perhaps, as John says, we’re expecting too much, and Jess isn’t quite on it yet?”
“I think she knows exactly what she’s doing,” Di said. “I just don’t understand why.”
“Maybe she’s confused?” John offered.
“I don’t think so,” Di replied. “She doesn’t like that doctor, and I can’t say I blame her after the way he spoke earlier, as if she wasn’t even in the room.”
“Maybe he’s just trying to keep us grounded and not expect too much,” Damian suggested.
“Yes, but we know she can do more, and she wanted that kept from him,” Di added.
“I think we just see how things go over the next few days, and in the meantime, we’ll keep her secret,” John suggested. “I think its time we all went home to get a shower, change of clothes and some rest then we can meet up again in the morning. Jess will be asleep until tomorrow in any case.
With that, the four rose and headed for the exit, each deep in their own thoughts.
5
The next morning Damian and Di were at Jess’s bedside by nine. They had been told that Jess had already undergone her physio session for the day and a number of tests had also been carried out, so they were free to spend as much time with her as they wanted.
The sun was out but it wouldn’t stream through the window until the afternoon, assuming it was still out by then. The forecast was for it to cloud over later that morning and there was the slight chance of the odd shower.
Jess seemed to be in good spirits, the speakers squawking out her questions and responses. Whilst the device was excellent, it did detract from her personality, but there was nothing anyone could do about that. Before her accident, she would moan ‘muuuuuu-um!’ in the long drawn out way that teenagers often do when they’re getting exasperated, it was now a simple robotic ‘muum’ and lacked the necessary emphasis.
At just after nine-thirty, John and Paula arrived. They had obviously showered and changed clothes and looked revitalised, just like the Richardsons.
‘Both mum and dad look ten years younger today,’ Jess had thought to herself earlier.
“BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO GET HERE,” came from the voice box’s speaker.
“And good morning to you too, Jess,” John responded with a smile as he kissed Di on the cheek and shook hands with Damian. “I was going to buy some chocolate and grapes then eat it all in front of you, but I decided that I couldn’t be that cruel.”
“HA HA.”
“So, what couldn’t wait?” Paula asked.
“LOOK AT MY HAND.”
As they all looked at her right hand, Jess lifted her palm off the bed and slowly wiggled her fingers a little.
“Smartarse,” John said. “I can do that, so what?”
“LOOK AT THE OTHER.”
They did so and Jess did the same trick.
“Still not impressed,” John said smiling. When she nodded her head ever so slightly, even he was gobsmacked.
“That is brilliant, Jess!” Di exclaimed.
“IT GETS BETTER.”
They all automatically looked towards her feet.
“NOT THERE.”
They looked back at her face to find a slight smile, two small dimples either side of her upturned mouth. Tears started rolling down both Di and Paula’s cheeks as they smiled at Jess.
“This is fantastic, Jess” Damian congratulated her.
“I’m still not impressed,” John said, trying to egg Jess on to bigger and better things.
“I KNOW YOU’RE LYING JOHN.”
“No, you don’t,” John stated, still smiling.
“YES, I DO.”
“I CAN SEE YOUR COLOUR.”
John was puzzled by the comment and his smile turned into an enquiring frown.
“What do you mean Jess?” he asked.
“I CAN SEE ALL YOUR COLOURS.”
“I CAN TELL WHAT MOOD YOU’RE IN.”
“I CAN SEE YOU’RE ALL CONFUSED AND WONDERING IF I’M MAD.”
“PERHAPS THE BROKEN GIRL HAS A SCREW LOOSE.”
“I could tell you that without any colours,” John taunted. “Seriously, what are these colours?”
“THEY ARE ALL AROUND YOU, SWIRLING AS YOUR EMOTIONS CHANGE.”
“What colours are they?”
“THEY VARY AND MIX AROUND.”
“YOU ARE MOSTLY YELLOW AND ORANGE AT THE MOMENT.”
“I CAN TELL YOU ARE HAPPY, FRIENDLY, CONFIDENT AND EXCITED.”
“THERE IS ALSO SOME BLUE WHICH TELLS ME YOU’RE ALSO INTELLIGENT AND TRUSTWORTHY.”
“Well, that’s good news, I guess. What’s a bad colour to have?”
“DARK GREYS OR BLACK.”
“What do they mean?”
“ANYTHING FROM FEAR, BAD HEALTH, DEATH, EVIL.”
“I take it I don’t have any black?” John asked worriedly.
“NOT YET.”
John visibly relaxed and say down heavily in the chair. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining this or where it was going but he needed some time to think it through.
The others also took a seat while Jess explained that they currently had similar colours to John.
“What about the nurses and doctors?” Di asked.
“LIGHT BLUES AND PINK, SO CARING, SENSITIVE, CALM AND CONFIDENT.”
“HAVEN’T SEEN DOCTOR RAVEN TODAY.”
“You know, I’ve just thought,” John interrupted. “Some people say they can see other people’s auras. Maybe that’s what’s happening here. Give me a mo while I look it up.” He leant over to one side so he could remove his smart phone from his pocket and proceeded to type in a search. John spent almost quarter of an hour reading and tapping while the other three continued talking to Jess.
At last he sat up straight, still holding his phone. “Well, it seems that what Jess has been describing is a person’s aura and the colours she’s seen and explained are aligned with the meanings I have just read about. And get this, ‘Everything is made of energy and everything emits energy to one degree or another’. It goes on to say that the aura is a bio-energy field which is made up of several layers and colours. I seem to remember reading once that dogs could see a person’s aura and could tell who liked them and who didn’t. That’s why dogs bark at some people and wag their tail at others. Could be complete bullshit though, for all I know.”
“TOLD YOU.”
“Yes Jess, you did. Remind me never to doubt you again,” John relented.
“SECRET.”
“Ok Jess, another secret.”
As he finished speaking, the door opened, and Dr Raven strode in. Perhaps it was the recent discussions, but it felt to all of them as if the room had got darker and a little colder, although the sun was clearly still shining outside the window.
“So, how’s my patient this morning,” Dr Raven asked as he neared the bed with a forced smile on his face.
“FINE.”
“Good. Anymore pins and needles?”
“NO.”
“Any movement or feeling at all?”
“NO.”
“As I said yesterday, that is to be expected so it doesn’t come as any surprise. Are you in pain? Trouble sleeping? Seeing things which aren’t there?”
“NO.”
“Ok, I’ll leave you to it and check up again later.” With that, he turned and left the room. He hadn’t acknowledged or spoken to any of the visitors.
Once the door was closed, John got up and went to check the corridor was clear. “Is it me or did something not feel quite right? Maybe I’m being paranoid after Jess telling us to keep all these secrets”
“NO, YOU’RE RIGHT.”
“I didn’t feel anything different,” Paula said, but if she was being honest, she wasn’t really sure if she had or hadn’t. Perhaps it was better to fight the paranoia now rather than let it grow.
“I’m not sure,” Damian added. “Perhaps I just expected something to happen, so I convinced myself it did.”
“But, what did you think happened?” John asked.
“Dunno really,” Damian replied. “I guess I felt it got darker, but that could have been the sun going behind a cloud.”
“I thought it got a bit colder,” Di added, “but again, that could have been the sun going behind a cloud. Perhaps we’re beginning to imagine stuff.”
John was not convinced.
“THERE ARE NO CLOUDS.”
The four quickly looked to the window. Damian got out of his seat and went right up to the window to get a better look all around. “She’s right, there are no clouds,” he admitted.
“YOU ARE NOT IMAGINING.”
“THE DOCTOR IS MOSTLY BLACK.”
There was silence in the room as the Richardsons and Barringtons were lost in their own thoughts.
6
By late afternoon, Jess had managed to move her head slightly to each side as well as a partial movement up and down. The movement in her fingers was more pronounced and deliberate and she had started to move her lower arm below the elbow a fraction.
Since that morning she’d had a headache and suspected that this was because of the extra sensory input she had been getting from the various auras of the people coming and going throughout the day.
When she looked around, John was the only one in the room. He was sitting in his chair, wearing a pair of glasses and had a magazine on his lap, although it was clear he was actually snoozing as his chin was resting on his chest and there was the odd snort and wheeze interspersed between his otherwise gentle breathing.
Jess wasn’t sure whether or not to disturb him, he looked so peaceful. In the end she lowered the volume of her device before she spoke.
“ARE YOU AWAKE JOHN?”
John started awake, removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes before slowly looking up at Jess. “Just as well I’ve got a strong heart.”
“WHERE ARE THE OTHERS?”
“We’ve decided that one of us will be with you all the time. The others have gone for a coffee.”
“CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT NICK?”
John was quiet for a few moments, gathering his thoughts and thinking about his son whilst trying to hold back the tears.
