by Cole Lepley
We lived in a small town, we had mutual friends, and we had everything to lose. If we gave it a shot and it didn’t work out, we would’ve been lost, unable to escape the inevitable heartache that would surely follow. When your connection is as strong as ours you’re destined for failure. Nothing that perfect is meant to exist forever. It wouldn’t be fair to everyone else.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about him often. I’m thinking about him right now while I try to pry this old trellis off the side of my Gram’s house. The insurance company said I need to fix any distressed structures on the property, including all of the chipped and peeling paint. Scarlett and Evan had to go back home already to return to work, but I took a short leave of absence from school. I’d miss the beginning of term, but I needed a break anyway, to clear my head. It’s hard to fix all the broken things when you’re still broken yourself.
This trellis has seen better days. Ollie had been climbing it to get to my bedroom window since we were twelve. The sleepovers got more frequent once we became old enough to truly appreciate them. It explains why it appears to be on its last leg.
With a huff, I give it one final tug before it comes sailing off the siding and lands in the grass below. I blow back the hair that falls in my face and cock my head to look up at my old window. I should have torn this trellis down a long time ago. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to hate him so much.
“What are you doing?”
The shocked voice from behind me is still as smooth as warm honey, and that pisses me off even more. I turn around to face him.
“What are you doing here, Oliver?”
He ignores my question and steps past me toward the discarded framework. The lines in his forehead crease when he bends down to inspect it.
“What did you do to it?”
“It’s broken,” I say, moving to stand beside him. “I have to fix it or take it down. It’s easier to just get rid of it.”
His gaze swings up to me with a measured look for a second, and then he shakes his head. “Nope. I can fix it.”
My teeth clench together. “I don’t want you to.”
He stands up beside me and invades me with his familiar scent. I can’t fully describe it, but it reminds me of fresh water and warm wood, and it comforts me in a way I don’t expect. I can’t help but lean into him a little to get an extra whiff.
Ollie tilts his head down to me, the corner of his mouth tipping up. “I want to.”
I’m starting to struggle with my earlier irritation. I don’t want to see him, or smell him, or be distracted by the intensity is his eyes. I want him to go back across the street and stay there until I leave.
I cross my arms. “I don’t need your help. You don’t owe me anything.”
His eyebrows pull in. “Charlie, that’s not why I’m here.”
“Then why?”
He runs a hand through his perpetually disheveled brown hair. “I don’t know.” His eyes lock on mine again. “Because I haven’t be able to stop thinking about you. Because I’ve already stopped myself twenty times from walking over here since I got off work and it’s only been like fifteen minutes.”
I don’t let the gravity of his words affect me. Inwardly my heart is beating faster, but I keep a slight scowl on my face.
“It was a mistake for me to walk over there last night. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
He laughs. “I think I do.” He inches closer and the pounding in my chest intensifies. “They’re the same thoughts I’ve been having. That I can’t stop having now that I know you’re actually here.”
“I won’t be here for long. As soon as the house is ready, the realtor will take over and I can go home.”
His confidence fades when I mention home. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought of this place in that way.
He shoves his hands in the pockets of his khaki pants and takes a breath. “So, let me help you while you’re here. I can come over in the evenings after work.”
For the first time since he strolled over here, I notice the polo shirt he’s wearing. It’s embroidered with the emblem from our old high school.
I motion to his chest. “Why are you wearing that?”
He smiles. “I’m a teacher. Strange, isn’t it? I gave them so much shit while I was there, and now I’m the one trying to maintain peace and harmony and all that bullshit.”
I sputter a laugh. “A teacher?”
“Well, not a real teacher, I guess. I teach physical education and I coach after school.”
Now I’m even more surprised. “You coach football?”
His perfect face falls a little and I immediately regret my question. Even though it had a lot to do with our downfall, football was still something he truly loved, and I know how hard it was for him to lose it.
He shakes his head. “No, I coach track.” He shrugs casually and gives me another grin. “I’m awesome at so many things, I figured I’d spread the wealth.”
“You certainly haven’t lost your confidence.”
I expect him to immediately defend his epic greatness, but he remains somewhat humble. “Not about all things I guess.”
“I thought you’d be working with your dad.”
Ollie laughs bitterly. “Yeah, not so much.”
His reaction doesn’t surprise me. They never did get along too well. I think it was his dad’s expectation that Ollie had to be perfect all the time that really got to him. To be honest, nobody’s perfect, and I don’t think I’d want them to be. Flaws are what gives a person character.
Although some have more than others.
He’s staring at me when I look over at him. I don’t know what it is about the way he looks at me, or his face in general, but I could never say no to him.
I sigh. “You can help me if you want to.”
This time I don’t get a cocky smirk. Ollie gives me a genuine smile, and my heart almost explodes. Loving someone I shouldn’t is my biggest flaw—and loving Oliver Monroe has always been my weakness.
Ollie isn’t wearing a shirt. I’m not surprised, but it makes it difficult to concentrate with all those perfectly sculpted muscles glistening in the sunlight. I squint up at the ladder from my spot on the front porch. He came over right after work, just like he said he would, and has been fastening the old trellis back onto the side of the house.
I’m impressed with how nice it looks. It’s so perfect that I’m not convinced he didn’t go down to the lumber yard and buy a new one. He catches my gaze and smirks down at me.
“Does it look good?”
I swallow hard. He has no idea.
When I don’t respond right away, he nods at the trellis. “Is it straight?”
“Yep,” I say quickly, and then avert my eyes.
I dip the paintbrush back into the can and swirl it around. It doesn’t take long before I hear the clanging sounds of Ollie descending the ladder. He steps onto the porch and stops above me.
“You need help with that?”
I shake my head, but don’t look up at him. With an angry scrape to the side of the can with my brush, I go back to fixing the patches on the railing. “Nope. I’m almost done.”
He kneels down beside me, the muscles in his stomach flexing as he squats. I take another breath when he his mouth is a little too close to mine.
“It would go faster if we did it together,” he says, and I can practically taste the mint from the gum he’s chewing. My mouth becomes dry.
“I only have one brush.”
He nods toward his house. “I have plenty of them in the shed. I’ll go grab one.”
Before he can stand up, I reach out and grab his wrist. He looks at me with a smile. “I don’t mind, seriously.”
“No, that’s not it,” I say, as I release my hold on him. I set my paintbrush next to the can and sit down on the nearest step. “I don’t want to do this with you.”
His eyebrows rise and he takes a seat beside me. “Do what?”
I laugh once
. “Sit here and pretend like everything’s okay between us. It may seem cute to act all normal and stuff, but it’s not. That doesn’t work for me anymore.”
He gets quiet, a solemnness clouding his features. He rests his elbows on his knees and looks straight out into the front yard. “I know, but I don’t know how to say what I need to say right now.”
“You don’t need to say anything—”
“Yeah, I do,” he says firmly, cutting me off. He releases a long breath. “Maybe you’ve found some kind of closure over the years, but I sure as fuck haven’t.”
It still breaks my heart to see him experience pain in any way. It’s obvious on his face. Regret is written all over it.
I sigh. “Look,” I say, folding my hands in my lap and turning my head to face him. “I’m sure a lot has changed since then. We’re different people, we have our own lives. There’s no need to rehash every painful thing from our past. We can’t change it.”
“Maybe we can change it enough that you don’t hate me anymore.”
“I don’t hate you,” I whisper.
Ollie searches my face for a moment, his own expression so painfully sad. “Then why do you look at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you wish you never met me.”
I want to tell him he’s wrong, but I’m not sure I can. It would be easier if I never knew what it was like to know him. To be consumed by him. I can try to forget all I want—but I’m not sure my heart ever will.
Chapter 5
What Goes Around
Oliver - Now
I arrive at the school early for the first time since, basically, ever. My truck was one of the first vehicles in the faculty parking lot. I couldn’t sleep last night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the look in hers.
Charlie hates me.
The worst part? I don’t think I can fix it. The damage I caused us isn’t something that can be erased with a sexy smirk and few well-timed lines. I can’t charm my way back into her life as effortlessly as I did the first time. I’m not sure if I should even try.
Hunter pulls in beside me and gives a lazy nod. He’s not a morning person at all. It always amazed me when he would get up at the crack of dawn to run with Elliot, but for obvious reasons it’s no longer a mystery. I zip up my jacket and step out of my truck to meet him.
“Hey, man,” he says with a smile. “You’re early.”
I shrug. “I couldn’t sleep. I ran almost ten miles this morning, and I’m not even tired.”
He shoots me a skeptical look. “I think I know why.”
I maintain my total calmness. It’s a skill I was obviously born with. I have an innate ability to appear aloof in serious situations. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s easier to act stupid when I’m afraid of something, but it’s what I do.
“Why?”
He slings his messenger bag over his shoulder and starts walking toward the building. I fall into step with him and he smirks at me.
“Elliot may have told me something. Something you probably don’t want me to know.”
I grit my teeth. “What makes you say that?”
I don’t even need him to answer—I know my sister. She loves to get all up in my business when she thinks a girl may be involved. Especially one that I would keep around for longer than a night.
Another knowing smile crosses his face. “Because I swore to you on the bridge that night we’d never speak her name again.” He gives me mocking look. “I think we signed that oath in blood.”
I give him a shove sideways and he laughs. He almost stumbles into the Algebra teacher standing in the entranceway of the main building, and has to side-step to miss her. He gives a quick apology and I hold the door open for him with a smirk of my own.
“Asshole,” he mutters under his breath on his way past.
He’s still chuckling when I catch up to him. “Sorry.”
“It’s cool. I know how you get when you’re all up in your feelings.” He pauses when we make it my office door, and turns back to me. “It doesn’t happen too often, but I know what it looks like. You wanna know the last time I saw it?”
I shake my head and reach for the doorknob. He puts his hand on my chest to hold me back. “I’m gonna tell you anyway. It was about five years ago.”
With a scowl, I shoulder past him and pull the door open. I stalk toward my desk and he follows, closing the door behind him.
I keep my back to him and toss my bag into the corner. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” I wave my hand in the air. “I don’t need to talk about my feelings and shit.”
“So, you admit to the feelings?”
My shoulders tense. Every muscle in my body tenses along with them. Even that elusive one in my chest. That’s the one that’s been throbbing uncontrollably since yesterday.
I take a calming breath and turn around to face him. I keep my features neutral. “I’m totally fine.”
Hunter makes a show of rolling his eyes and walks to the chair in front of my desk where he plops down heavily. He grins up at me like he has no intention of leaving until I talk. Well, I hate to break it to him, but my innermost feelings are locked up tighter than a felon on death row.
I cross my arms. “Drop it, Graham. I meant what I said on that bridge.”
He chuckles into his fist but then a light tap on my door startles us both. I clear my throat. “Come in.”
As if I didn’t have enough to deal with, Liam Nickles strolls into my office with a douchey grin on his face. His smile turns smug when my eyes drift to newly stitched embroidery on his button-down. The staff meeting we had on Monday was to introduce him as our new athletic director. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be bothered to get up early on a Monday. Probably explains why the promotion wasn’t offered to me.
He nods to Hunter who regards him with a scowl. It’s the warm and friendly gesture I expect from them. He sizes me up next, coming to a stop in front of me. I take in his fancy grey slacks and the matching tie around his neck and almost laugh.
He thinks he’s here to piss on his territory as my new boss. Sorry ‘bout his luck, but I answer to no one, especially not some pretentious asshole who wears a fucking tie to work in the athletic department. I have a whistle. Now who’s winning?
“Liam,” I say curtly. “What can I do for you?”
He keeps the grin plastered to his face. “I see it’s like old times in here.” He motions around the room with his hand. “Oliver Monroe and Hunter Graham fucking off while the rest of us do all the work.”
Hunter stands up from his chair with a dark laugh. For the life of me, I can never understand why anyone would want to antagonize him, especially Liam. He got the brunt of Hunter’s barely-contained rage a few times back in school.
“What work did you do?” Hunter cocks his head toward him. “How hard could it have been to sit on a bench for four years?”
The smile melts from Liam’s face. “Well, it obviously didn’t do wonders for you either. You’re both still here.”
I shrug, completely unaffected by his weak attempt to show dominance. “We like it here.” I lean into him with a wink. “Everyone else likes us, too.”
“I’ll bet they do.” He huffs a laugh. “It doesn’t surprise me that you’re coaching the girls’ track team.” He glares at Hunter. “Or that your new girlfriend is barely legal.”
Hunter clenches his fist and I step in between them with an uneasy smile. Again, it’s no secret my dear friend likes to hit people. I don’t need to clean up another scandal so early in the school year.
I turn back to Liam and force a smile. “Look, we don’t want any problems. We’re all adults now. No reason to be hostile.”
Liam gives me a hard look and then glares at Hunter again, who’s now grinning for some reason. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” Hunter says casually. He takes a step closer to Liam, his grin widening. “Since you like bringing up the past so much, I was just trying to rem
ember how many fingers I had buried in your girlfriend after Fall Festival senior year.” He scratches his chin, a thoughtful smirk playing on his lips. “I think it was three.”
Liam’s neck turns red and I give Hunter a light shove backward to put some distance between them. I take a moment to chuckle under my breath. I don’t care how serious this situation could turn out—that shit’s funny.
I collect myself and direct my focus to Liam again. “Seriously, knock it off.” I then give a pointed look to Hunter. “Both of you. We all have to work together, whether we like it or not.”
Liam meets my eyes with a hard stare. “I’ll be watching the two of you. That shit you used to get away with in high school isn’t going to fly now.” He squares his shoulders and I almost burst into laughter again.
But I’m a grown-up now. So I wait until he leaves.
The moment he stalks out of my office Hunter and I both lose it. “What a fucking tool,” Hunter says, pointing at the door Liam just stormed out of.
I wave my hand dismissively. “He’s still a loser and he knows it.”
“Yeah, but I bet it won’t take him long to find out that Char—”
“Don’t,” I growl, cutting him off. I point my finger at him in warning. “The rule still stands.”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. I won’t talk about her.” He starts walking toward the door, but I hear him chuckle lightly. “You will, though.” He turns back to me, his hand on the doorknob. “It’s only a matter of time, man.”
I grit my teeth and throw the foam ball that’s sitting on my desk at his head. He ducks and laughs again, and slips out my door.
When I’m finally alone in my office, I lean back against my desk with a sigh. It’s starting to feel a lot like high school again, and this time I don’t like it. I no longer have my girl, and Liam is my fucking boss. It’s like I’m trapped in a nightmare where I’m on the losing end of absolutely everything.
That doesn’t happen to me. I never lose and I’m not about to start now.
